lovequeerblog

[lovequeerblog]

Ok something I absolutely love is going full science nerd when it comes to relationships and making charts! When working on my previous post on the split attraction model (see link below) I started playing with radar charts for mapping different types and intensities of attraction and I just had to turn this into a little worksheet for mapping out attraction in relationships

And here's just the attraction chart:

I'm not looking to build new relationships at the moment but I am totally the sort of person who would whip this out on a date (I have an entire power point on platonic partnership that I do in fact use to ask people to be in a relationship with me. Yes this has worked. More than once :) )

[lovequeerblog]

The Split Attraction Model

Y'all, as an aromantic asexual lesbian, the split attraction model has been so helpful to me. I identify as an aroace lesbian because, while I don't experience sexual or romantic attraction, I do experience tertiary forms of attraction (platonic, sensual, etc.) and am still interested in building deep, committed, (even romantic!) relationships and partnerships. I include lesbian in my identity because the people I am drawn to and want to build those deep relationships with are consistently women and nonbinary people. the SAM was super valuable in understanding that my desire to have relationships with women isn't sexual or romantic, but is still very genuine.

Anyone else here like using compound labels to really capture more nuance in their identities?

For a deeper look at the split attraction model, asexuality and aromanticism, and how people use complex labels (like aro ace lesbian) to describe their sexualities, check out the full post here!

[lovequeerblog]

"Educational articles [about aromanticism] are consistently written as if the the idea that aros must fundamentally lack all feeling and empathy is a natural conclusion.

...

The pervasiveness of this framing demonstrates broader cultural expectations about love: we have idealized romantic love to such a degree that it has eclipsed other forms of connection.

...

I don't think this complete idealization of romantic love serves anyone, aromantic or otherwise. Aromantics are not the only ones who may go through life without a romantic partner. Irrespective of someone’s relationship status, needing to prove one's goodness, humanity, or capacity for love by experiencing romantic love is an unhelpful expectation that serves only to make people feel worse about themselves for not living up to cultural relationship ideals. Romantic love is great! But it's not everything. I think it's high time we take a little pressure off of romantic love and make space for acknowledging that there are other meaningful forms of connection and meaningful ways to live one's life that aren't centered on romantic partnership."

from: lovequeer (https://lovequeer.substack.com/p/aromantic-awareness-week-2025)

[lovequeerblog]

frances ha is such an aromantic story that centers self discovery and platonic love. frances is disappointed to not have the platonic partnership she expected with sophie. she is alloromantic and starts living her life apart from frances. at the end, even if don't want the same level of commitment, domesticity and social life entwinement, they both love each other deeply and platonically.

(also pls read the article linked is so good)

[lovequeerblog]

Welcome to lovequeer

I'm a polyamorous aromantic asexual lesbian. I'm also polyamorous and a relationship anarchist. I've created this blog as a space to explore my ongoing learning about ways in which the aromantic and polyamorous communities in particular shed light on new ways to understand relationships, community, and connection.

Check out the full blog here:

[lovequeerblog]

Hello lovely aromantics, happy Aro Awareness week!

Have y'all ever had trouble explaining platonic partnership or queerplatonic relationships to other people? It's a concept that so often doesn't seem to compute for people who are only used to thinking about traditional romantic relationships. I've run into this time and again, even (and perhaps most importantly) with the people I've wanted to be in platonic partnerships with.

I've spent a lot of time parsing out how to define partnership in a way that is independent of romance, and gotten into two platonic partnerships along the way! (shoutout to having a literal PowerPoint on platonic partnership and using it to ask people out, I cannot believe this has worked for me but it has). I've posted the platonic partnership definition I've been working with on my blog (lovequeer) because I hope it will resonate with some of you, and maybe be that link you can point to when family members ask for explanations or you need a jumping off point for discussing what you want a given relationship to look like. Check it out here!

Are there other people who think about partnership like this? Am I missing things in my definition? I know there are other people doing platonic partnership too but I feel like we're all in our own little worlds. I want to see more dialog about how everyone is making these relationships work, because they're beautiful 💚

[lovequeerblog]

For Aromantic Awareness week this year I've launched a new blog exploring topics in aromantic and asexual queer theory and nontraditional relationships. I'm a polyamorous aromantic asexual lesbian writing about ways in which the aromantic and polyamorous communities in particular shed light on new ways to understand relationships, community, and connection. Check it out here!