luvwithkawa

[luvwithkawa]

idk what to title this

gojo x reader, angst, trauma, growing up poor, mentions of divorce, hardships, arguing, having children.

without further adieu:

"You don't understand."

"No, tell me. What don't I understand?" he says in frustration.

I say frustration because it's hard to imagine him angry. That was the reason I fell for him in the first place. How can someone that looks Pomeranian look angry? I thought relationships would be easy, but there's just so much he doesn't know about me. We've never really talked about kids or what our future was gonna look like because we’re both involved in missions. It's my work that allowed us to be together: ever since I did my internship at jujutsu high, I fell in love with his city. He asked me to move here with him, and I agreed.

"You just..." I run my hands through my hair. Why is it so hard to get the words out? My fingers tremble while intertwining with the strands. I sit down at the kitchen table and take another deep breath. "I feel like you didn't have a lot to worry about when growing up. I mean, the Gojo clan? Isn't that every jujutsu sorcerer's dream? While you were discovering your abilities, I was worrying if my family’s marriage was gonna last."

"But just because it was hard for your parents doesn't mean it has to be hard for us. Please, just give it a chance." He kneels by the table and grabs my hand. There’s no longer confusion in his eyes, instead, it's replaced by pity and desperation. "We're different."

I pull away and turn my head. 

"It's not just a chance. It's our life. I'm not throwing mine away for a kid that I’m going to ruin. The difference between you and I is that you were born with a silver spoon and I was born with a wooden ladle. And even that ladle I had to carve myself. I couldn't carve it into a wooden cat or a cup or a bowl or anything else because my family needed that ladle. I love you. I love you so much, more than anyone and anything. I want to give you a child but not at the risk of me raising it. I-I'm sorry."

Tears are welling up in my eyes.

"But you have me now! It's going to be okay. I promise they'll have the best everything! You know that money isn't a problem anymore. I promise we won't let them feel how you did."

"what about our jobs? Our missions? It's not just about the money. I just can't be a good mother. I've never had the urge to be a mother. I find the idea of motherhood grueling. I don't think I'm capable of loving a child unconditionally. What if they turn out to be a serial killer? Psychopath? There's just so much bad blood in me that it would take generations to clean. So instead of cleaning it, I'd rather it end."

“Maybe the blood is bad, yeah. But so is soil sometimes. That doesn’t mean nothing can grow.”

“Grow? Funny coming from you.” I scoff. I know I shouldn't remark sharply but I can't help myself. “What do you know about growth? You were born with everything you needed: an inheritance of money and cursed techniques. A pampered plant that grows under the conditions of sunlight and water does not compare to a cactus fighting for survival. And similarly, a cactus can never survive under excessive water supply because it will drown.” (a/n this is also sooo satosugu coded I feel like)

The guilt eats away at me from both my skin and my core. I so badly want to feel ok and give him the family he deserves, but how do I offer my body as a vessel for life when I don’t want to pass down what runs through me? The rage, the fear, and the loaded weapon. 

[luvwithkawa]

He looks at you like you’re the most precious thing in the world

Gojo notices the way you eye things but reluctantly put them back after checking the price. He notices the stress on your face due to monthly bills and tuition when he shows up at your door. He notices the way you always put others first, how you always let him lay in your lap even when you have to study, how you always comfort him when his dad is putting too much pressure on him, how you give him the bigger half of the cookie.

That’s why he pulls out his metal card without hesitation when shopping with you. He buys all the prettiest clothes you eyed yet when you ask him how he knew, he simply replies with “just thought it’s look good on you darling”. Gojo funds your entire education and donates a library for the university. He buys an entire apartment building and gives you the best room. He treats you to the sweetest spas and endless vacation days.

You tell him it’s too much, that it’s making you feel guilty. You say this without realizing how much you’ve given him. Gojo sees you as his lifeline. He wouldn’t have gotten to where he is without your support. You stayed up with him when he’s stressed, softly running your fingers through his hair. You tolerated his whiny complaining, and spent time with him when there was no one else. Gojo wanted you. He knew you weren’t with him for the money. So when you try to tell him it’s too much, he simply brushes it off: you are his girlfriend after all.

[luvwithkawa]

CHOSOOOOOOO

[luvwithkawa]

it was no secret that loving hinata shoyo was like waking to warm rays of sunshine on a summer morning, like watching the blazing and vibrant sunsets on the tops of moutians, laughing until your muscles start aching. He just had so much energy and bubbly happiness.

but no matter how much you wanted to lock away his inocent and happniess to keep it foryourself, you knew you had to share him. so you watch from afar, taking in his spirit and passion from a distance.

you watch all his games, all his ups and downs. you want to tell him that you’re here. youre here now and everything is going to be fine. 

but you cant

because in the end

you’re still on the other side of the screen.

[luvwithkawa]

AGHHHHH

i wake up, i think about satoru gojo, go to sleep, think about satoru gojo, in my dreams, think about satoru gojo, in the shower, think about satoru gojo, losing my mind, think about satoru gojo, doing nothing, think about satoru gojo, reading a book, think about satoru gojo

[luvwithkawa]

akaashi: Why is your back covered with scratches?

[Flashbacks of bokuto and atsumu chasing a racoon after akaashi told them to leave it alone]

bokuto: I’m having an affair.

[luvwithkawa]

my sunshine boy <33333333333

he’s a little confused but he’s got the spirit

[luvwithkawa]

Hi Ann!! Okay okay so I just have this huge scenario where pro athlete Kageyama dates a gorgeous model and they r like such a hot couple, not to mention Kageyama is canonically attractive 😏😏 *wink wink nudge nudge*

I would lovee a oneshot/headcannons of timeskip Kageyama/model! SO, preferably fem if that’s alr w u bcs I’m fem, but ofc up to u. And I would even love it more if u include both sfw and nsfw ughhh I just need need needdd anyway thx author!!

a/n: HZKJSFASHKJFDJ my first request im so excited. apologies for the laste response, i come on here likeonce in a blue moon bc of school and finals

okay here we goooo

you started modeling during the start of high school

it began as a "oh this looks fun lemme try it out" kinda thing

but you has such a knack for it all the companies wanted you

so while everyone was working fast food jobs you were strutting the runway

in the summer you would even travel to different places for large fashion companies to model their collection

one year your agency told you there was a casting for a magazine company in japan

it was during summer so you agreed and was super looking forward to it

when you arrived they told you that you would be working with another model for this magazine

although kageyama mainly does volleyball magazines, different companies have started reaching out to him to model

“Hello! You must be y/n, thank you for agreeing to this shoot. Let's get right into it” 

You looked at all the outfit choices. The people in charge of the shoot picked out a classy tennis skirt and a collared half-button navy top. You felt ready. This is going to be like any other shoot. Surely you won't catch feelings for the unbelievably attractive model.  

You were led into a room with bright lights and a green background. A tell man with styled black hair was standing there aimlessly. He seemed very indifferent about this whole thing. 

“Hi! I’m y/n” 

Self introduction should be okay 

“oh.” 

You decided he wasn’t worth it 

While the photographers were discussing something you both took a break. You were enjoying a sip of your water when- 

“Do you play?” 

“huh?” 

“tennis. Do you play tennis?” 

“I’ve tried it, I haven't really stuck with it though.  

“oh.” 

“why? Do you play volleyball?” 

Suddenly his eyes lit up. It basically looked like someone added stars in his pupils. However his voice remained the same. 

“yes. I play setter. It’s the best position.” 

You guys chatted for a while about your intrested and after the shoot ended he asked foryou contact info 

The end 

[luvwithkawa]

this. this is my goal.

more tennis studies 💕

[luvwithkawa]

mornings (based on the picture above)

tw: thoughts of walking in the ocean, sad feels, switches from first to third person and past tense to present tense?

here:

I've always been a solitary person. At least that’s what I tell myself; it helps sooth the loneliness. I scroll on social media, shifting through the pictures people post about the fun they have as I lay in bed, tears running down my cheeks, dreading life.  

We used to be so close, my friend and I. but eventually they all leave right? I can only keep up this façade for so long. It's not me that’s changed right? I still remained there, stuck in time as they all moved on.  

The salty wind combed through her hair as she breathed in the ocean's life. It was a chilly morning for the middle of May. She just finished her morning run in the rising sun even though she preferred gazing at the moon. Resting on a rotting bench, she imagined becoming one with ocean. Would it finally soothe her never ending suffering? Would it wash away her worries like bleach washes away blood? She imagined the cool water hitting her skin, the crystal water slowly soaking through her coat.  

Her thoughts were interrupted by a raven-haired boy  

He is wearing a mix of navy and light blue.  

Like the ocean

The boy had his hand on his knees, deep exhales releasing themselves in the form of vapor. He glances towards her and flashes her a glowing smile that left her dumbstruck.  

He pushes himself off his knees and continues running.  

She inhaled again. The wind left a faint smell on him. He smells like summer. He must always smell like summer. The faint particles of sunlight greeting you on a bright Sunday morning, the leaves brushing against each other, the fresh fruits you enjoy on a particularly hot day. That is what he smells like.

a/n: only y/n would find his smile “glowing” 💀 I may or may not edit this post in the future ✨

[luvwithkawa]

loving him

loving tooru was like the familiar feeling of early spring, like the fresh smell of coffee, or wind brushing your face in a tall grassy field. it felt freeing to be with him. his easy-going and (kinda bratty😐) care free personality made him someone easy to talk to. 

you didn't know about his past when you met him, and to be honest, he kind of annoyed you. his cocky attitude with a resent towards the first year with a flock of fangirls being the cherry on the cake. however the more you talk, the more you started to notice the other things about him, like how he always keeps extra change in his locker in case tobio forgot some for his milk. or how he always encourages his teammates to do their best and is proud of them no matter what. 

when iwa told you about his past, you understood. you understood how it felt to always be second best, to feel inferior to those around you who were better at the things you were. you wanted to know him more. his essence was like a drug you could get high on forever. his passion for volleyball inspired you to be better. more and more, everything about him it drew you in. you started to fall for the brunette.  

the feeling started eating away at you. you finally decided to confess(oh my god he was never gonna let you live this down fjhoaeir). after baking a fresh batch of milk bread(ik this trop is overused I'm sorry), you walk towards his class during a free period. oikawa was sitting by the window. the sunlight hitting his hair perfectly so they turn a light hazelnut gold. he always looked so pretty. oikawas eyes was glued to his phone screen. the teacher said something about watching a video about liner functions but no doubt oikawa was watching another volleyball video. you still wondered how was he at the top of his class.

as you walked towards the pretty setter, you decided maybe this wasn't such a good idea. but as you were just about to turn around his eyes caught yours and shot their signature smirk. well, too late to turnback now. 

oikawa walked over

“hey what's in your hand?”

you wordlessly hand over the box. 

“wow, you baked this for me? well thank you then!” he says with a teasing voice

he glanced at the note you poured your heart and soul into. after what felt like an eternity of staring at each other, he finally kissed you. 

his lips were soft, and tasted of crème and sugar. you could feel his hand resting on your waist, softly pulling you closer. was that cheering in the background? you couldn't be sure. because in that moment, all you feel was him

[luvwithkawa]

why do I have such good ideas throughout the day but as soon as I sit down to write my mind is blank

[luvwithkawa]

THE WAY THIS IS SO GOOD OMG I HAVE TO MANY COMMENTS I CANT EVEN REMEMBER ALL OF THEM-

this writing is immaculate, the metaphors, the similes, the personification-

christmas chaos 

tsukishima kei x reader

word count: 1.8k & 990

𝔽𝕌ℕ 𝔽𝔸ℂ𝕋 “jingle bells” was the first song played in space. when in space, the crew of nasa’s gemini 6a space flight got into their christmas spirit and made history by playing “jingle bells” on december 16th, 1965.

for the amazing @luvwithtsukii 🤍 your prompt was a delight to write (and your writing is beautiful 🥺) i hope i met your expectations with these and there is a little something else i have for you that i wrote while procrastinating for this fic🤭

thank you @momochimo​ for hosting this event!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!! 🎄🎅🏻☃️

⁷₍⁽՚ᵕ՝⁾₎₇

It would have been a beautiful morning to wake up to.

Seven o’clock on Christmas morning, and the first snow is spread like powdered sugar on the earth. Outside the window, the snowflakes twirl and dance gracefully in mid-air like ballerinas as they daintily make their descent, finally tiptoeing on the lush carpet of snow, and the trees wave majestically in the gentle wind as if hyping up each individual flurry.

Everything is glistening, like a fairy had sprinkled her dust over the landscape.

And wouldn’t it have been nice to wake up in your lover’s gentle embrace, awoken by soft butterfly kisses and whispers of “I love you”s? Wouldn’t it have been nice to wake up, still spooned in his arms like how you fell asleep last night, safe from the biting cold outdoors? Lowering the bar a little, wouldn’t it have been nice to wake up naturally with him next to you? You suppose even without him would pass, albeit barely. Then again, it would have been nice just to wake up without almost peeing your pants.

But of course, that’s not how you wake up. If so, you wouldn’t be complaining. 

Instead, a ferocious explosion resonates through the magical morning like a furious battle cry, lashing through and shattering the crisp white silence like an angry whip. It’s like someone set the bed on fire when you shoot upright with a loud gasp, brutally hurtled out of slumberland. Your heart feels as if it’s ready to leap into a wild horse race and win one as it pounds deafeningly in your ears.

It doesn’t take much effort to locate – or rather notice the lack of – the source of the sound. He is nowhere to be found in the bedroom, his side of the bed cold, and judging from the amount of noise he just made, there is only place he can possibly be.

The kitchen.

Dammit. 

With your heart still hammering against your chest, except this time maybe for a different reason, you reluctantly lumber out of the warm covers. As you unwillingly trudge to the kitchen with annoyed stomps, you grumble under your breath about stupid, stupid beanpole-like blond four-eyed idiots, cursing him and threatening about how you were going to skin him alive for waking–

Oh, dear.

You swear you tried. You did.

You swear you tried your best to be nice about it, to stifle your laugh as much as you could, to try your best not to choke over yourself trying to hold back your building giggles, to press your lips together to assure the wrong words didn’t come tumbling out of them. You swear you tried with all your might.

But, God save you, how could you not double over laughing at the sight in front of you?

How can you not laugh when there stands Tsukishima Kei. The Tsukishima Kei who gives the saltiest comments; who provides snarky opinions just to spite people; who mostly smiles because something bad happened to Kageyama Tobio; who is one of the only blockers who can successfully stop Ushijima Wakatoshi; who also stands, dressed in an apron, shell-shocked and covered head to waist in white pancake mix.

And you? You just stand there for a moment as you register the whole scene. You meet Kei’s gaze, the open packet still in his stiff hands as he blinks at you once, disoriented, like he can’t quite comprehend that he’d created this calamity that he stands in.

Still, calling it a calamity is sort of an understatement. The kitchen is in such a horrible state that the word you’d choose is “comical”. Comical, because to you, it looks like a scene straight out of a cartoon with the countertops covered in, not only the same flour and baking powder mixture, but also cracked eggs still leaking whites. Knives and spoons are scattered everywhere you turn, and pots and pans seem to fill into any empty space you can spot. You count, not one, but two cutting boards out, an empty milk carton is on the ground with the little amount of what’s left is pooled out in a pearly white halo around it, and the tap is still running water.

It looks like a tornado swept through, deliberating trying to wreak as much havoc as it possibly could, then did a victory dance and left. And all you can think is, wow.

And all your efforts of holding back were for naught when Tsukishima sneezes, setting white powder spraying off him before floating back down to the floor and counters. All it took was that one wave of laughter to roll over you and you lost any thread of self-control you had left. You hunch over, laughing so hard your stomach hurts and tears start to come to your eyes. You have to lean against the fram of the kitchen door as you clutch your abdomen. Your boisterous laugh bounces and sparkles off the walls of the kitchen like a Christmas carol might, filled to the brim with love and delight.

In between gasps, you manage to croak out, “The weatherman didn’t say there would be a blizzard indoors today.”

Kei’s stare is almost as cold as a real blizzard as he glares at you. “This is the last time I ever try to do something nice for you,” he sneers.

You lift a skeptical eyebrow at your boyfriend standing amid the disaster. “Something nice as in completely obliterating the kitchen? Something nice as in waking me up on Christmas morning only to find that the bed is cold and my favorite boy is nowhere to be found?” You walk up to Kei and smirk at his sour expression. Then, staring at his pout, you soften. Because how can you not relent when Tsukishima Kei tried making pancakes for you on Christmas day, especially when both of you knew he sucked at cooking? You lift a hand to dust off the pancake mix on his cheek, fingers soft like the snow outside, eyes twinkling like Christmas lights, and smile warm and loving like the hearth. Tsukishima slides his hands onto your waist, refusing to answer your questions. You chuckle quietly. “Yeah, I didn’t think so.”

And Tsukishima Kei might have a mouth that spews words sharper than a butcher’s knife, but he has the softest heart you’ve ever encountered. This is proven as the coldness in his eyes thaws the moment you touch him and leans in to press a chaste kiss to your lips. And even after three years of dating, with almost one year of living together, his kiss still gives you butterflies.

When you pull away, you snake an arm behind him to untie the apron on him, gently lifting it over his head. “I love with all my heart, but I don’t trust your cooking. I don’t think I need to explain why the kitchen is strictly off-limits to you starting right now.” You give him a nudge to move him out of the horrific kitchen. “And I forgot to tell you that you look ravishing in an apron.” Kei allows you to lead him out of the hazardous room, but scoffs indignantly at your comment. “What were you even doing?” you ask.

He shoots you a petulant look. “I was trying to help with the Christmas festivities,” he explains, pink creeping onto his cheeks and you lean closer to him. And he all but whispers, “Because I know you like them.”

You link an arm through his with a giggle. “Mmm, a kitchen that looks like a bulldozer went crazy and plowed through was just the element I needed to complete the Christmas decorations.”

“Hey. I would have cleaned that up,” Kei argues as he follows you to the water heater, watching as you take out two mugs and two packets of hot chocolate. “You just woke up too early. Don’t you think it’s a little too early for hot chocolate?”

You tear open the packaging and dump them into separate mugs. “Yup, that was on today’s agenda. Wake up early on Christmas morning. Totally on purpose.” You can practically hear Tsukishima roll his eyes at your sarcasm, and you hum in agreement. “Which is why” – you press the button and a stream of hot water runs into a mug – “you are going to drink this with me before we clean up the kitchen.” You shove the mug into his hands and head to the couch. 

Kei catches up to you effortlessly with his long strides and sits on the couch first, he then grabs your wrist gently, tugging you into him. You smile as you snuggle into his embrace. It’d taken him a while to accept your affection, but now it was all he wanted. You take a sip from your mug and say, “So, when do you plan on cleaning up the war zone?” 

He scoffs without shame. “War zone is an understatement.”

“Good to know you at least have some conscience.”

“I have more conscience than you have a kitchen right now.”

“Exactly, and that’s embarrassing. So when do we resolve this predicament?”

Kei looks at you like you just swallowed a frog. “We’re never going to get that place cleaned, both you and I know that.”

“Don’t be silly. It’ll take us an hour max.”

“More like a day, you mean,” he grumbles.

“Come on, Kei, where is your optimism?”

“It opted out.”

“Well, too bad because you made the mess,” you say, rubbing his thigh with your thumb.

“Don’t blame me when we don’t get it clean before the guests come.”

“Oh, I will, don’t you worry too much.” You take another drink from your mug, making eye contact with Kei. 

Kei meets your gaze with an icy glare, but like the past three years he’s been with you, he’s shocked once again by the warmth in your eyes. Because no matter how coldly he looks at you, or how harshly he jeers at you, he sees the humor sparkling in them, and feels the warmth emanating from your orbs. And he’s always known, but it isn’t until this moment that he fully comes to terms that you understand his love for you no matter how poorly he shows it. And he blames it on the hot chocolate he’s drinking, but he suddenly feels extremely warm inside.

Your conversation ends and the room falls quiet, but not awkward. Kei’s never been much of a talker, and a lot of the best moments with him are spent in silence, just treasuring each other’s existence – such as this one. You curl into Kei’s body and smile into the steam of your hot chocolate as his fingers play with your hair mindlessly. 

So many years filled with all the Christmases that you’ve celebrated, but this is one that you could never forget because as you sit in the hug of you boyfriend, you can’t help but think that is what Christmas is meant to be: spending time with your loved ones and appreciating them for who they are and what they mean to you.

i had so much more to add to this. but i didn’t know how to continue it from there, so um, here’s a little more :)

Keep reading

[luvwithkawa]

comfort

pairing: akaashi x f!reader

tw: nothing I think?? fluff?? tired akaashi??

a/n: no sakusa?? really? I'm just shocked bc like 50% OF THE FANFICS I READ ARE ABOUT SAKUSA. btw I had to google what mc means 💀

akaashi was tired. he didn't look like it though, he almost never does. akaashi is always know as the mature, calm, and responsible one. hanging out with bokuto made that more obvious. the bubbly ace and the impassive looking setter have contrasting personalities. 

most people seemed to pay more attention to bokuto. how could they not when he has such an energetic personality? but not you, you were draw to akaashi. his quiet, mysterious nature drawn you in. you wanted to know more. slowly you two started to grow together. you eat lunch together, do homework together. you both had a shared love for literature. it was a match made in heaven.

that's why when another exhausting practice ended, all he wanted to do was fall into your arms, and have your hands in his hair as you stroke his worries away. 

luckily you were waiting for him outside the gym

“’kaashi!”

akaashi’s expression softened when he saw you. he gracefully strode over 

“y/n! were you waiting for me all this time?” 

to be honest he was kind of worried. it was around mid winter and he didn't want you standing in the cold for too long. 

“no haha, I actually had *insert club activity here*, so I've only been wait for a few minutes” (a/n okay, we all know we love our boy akaashi. but y/n is not gonna stand in the cold for like two and a half hours waiting for akaashi to finish practice. even if he is smart, respectful, and pretty. anyways..)

you both started to make way to his house. it was nice being around akaashi. being around him filled you with a sense of peace. 

“so how was your day?” akaashi asked 

“it was alright, how was yours”

“pretty exhausting”

you nodded thoughtfully. you could feel that he was tired. that's one of the things he loved about you. you always noticed how he was feeling. even if other people weren't. 

neither of you said anything on the way back, simply enjoying each others presence, while admiring the trees with fallen leaves.

the moment you walk through the door he put his bag down and headed straight to his room, which is very unlike akaashi. he’s normally the one to get homework started. 

you walked to the door and knock quietly before hearing a muffled “come in”, only to open the door and see him lying face down on the bed. 

“you ok keji?”

“mhmm”

“do you need anything? want me to make you some tea or coffee?”

his heart swelled at your offer. 

“you're all I ever need”

you couldn't help but smile at his words. you crawled into bed and gently laid his head on your chest, while tenderly brushing a finger across his cheek.

 together you were in harmony, akaashi could finally relax. 

@momochimo @fluffieveggie

[luvwithkawa]

hi! it’s me again, your secret santa 🎄🤭

i was just wondering if you wanted it to be an insert of yourself or just a normal second person pov fic, because i really wouldn’t mind which to write, totally up to you!!!

i don’t like how the fic is going so far, but i hope you like it when it comes out 😖

take care and i hope you have and had a good day! 💕

I think self insert would be better :> tysm!!

[luvwithkawa]

why do I feel like samu is also a white sneakers guy

Listen :

Atsumu is a white Sneakers dude probably Stan Smith

Osamu wears worn out Converse

Suna is a Vans guy

[luvwithkawa]

1:49am

sakusa lays in bed beside you. you were still finishing you homework while he was already half asleep. his hand latches onto you waist and he shoves his face closer to your chest.

“mmh, come to bed”

“omi, this assignment is due tomorrow, I have to get it done today. go to sleep without me.”

it’s not like he didn't want to. sakusa slept plenty of times alone before without you. But ever since you can into his life, the bed feels just a little too cold without you there.

you went back to your work, paying little attention to the big baby you called your boyfriend

“Fine, you stay up, I’ll sleep.” 

“Kiyoomi, don’t sleep on me, you’re heavy.”

“then come sleep with me” he mumbles. You sigh and finished the last parts of the project before putting your lap top away. the covers felt cozy and warm with sakusa. 

before you can turn off the lights, you took a look at his sleeping figure. he looks undisputedly beautiful in his sleep, it’s a type of beauty that no one can quite place. a pure, innocent beauty. He appears a few years younger, and a soft smile makes its way across your face. you gently brushed his hair back faintly kissed his moles.

“Goodnight, Omi. I love you.” 

“m’love you too” he whispers