m-ilys-grave - Tumblr blog

[m-ilys-grave]

Please...for just once, can I have a partner that doesn't cheat on me with a coworker...

I'm seriously wanting to give up on dating. I'm sick of being second best to people who's one up on me is "we get to spend more time together because we have the same shift".

Guess it's true that when a heart breaks, it don't break even.

[m-ilys-grave]

This week hasn't been wonderful, & I've been feeling sick AF. Today was the first day this week I haven't had a horrible migraine, I'm glad about that cause I still got to watch episode 7 of Chucky, & I actually feel like eating something.

Gotta look at the plus sides.

[m-ilys-grave]

Sometimes you just gotta spend your day watching YouTube & eating saltine crackers.

[m-ilys-grave]

Forever wondering what it's like to be part of a "let's get together & cookout on the weekends just because" family.

A "call or text just to check in & see how you're doing" family.

A "we also love you when you're sad & down" family.

A "we include you, not just remember you last minute" family.

A "oh my goodness I'm so proud of you!" family.

A "we really can't wait to see you on the holidays" family.

I'll forever be wondering what it's like.

-M.ily

[m-ilys-grave]

The new Chucky episode was pretty great in my opinion. Only 2 more episodes to go tho...

I like finding small things to look forward to.

-M.ily

[m-ilys-grave]

Ya know that weird feeling that sneaks up, when you take a nap (well, fall asleep watching a movie) around 11ish, then you wake up at like 3:26 A.M. & everything just feels...off?

Like you feel lonely and in the wrong place, but all you did was nap.

-M.ily

[m-ilys-grave]

Today, my coffee is extra tasty. I have several streaming services to watch all my favorite nostalgic shows & movies on. All my pets are happy & healthy, & a little sleepy from getting to play & roam around outside (with supervision of course). I have leftover chili in the fridge that's gonna be even better tomorrow. My bedding is freshly washed & I had a relaxing shower.

I'm thinking today's gonna be a good day.

-M.ily

April 15, 2024 1:16 AM

[m-ilys-grave]

I'll always feel like the villain when I don't let old friendships that were horrible for me rekindle.

I'll always feel horrible for leaving their messages on delivered & their texts unanswered.

Yet I'll always remember how unhealthy that relationship was for me.

Sometimes late at night I'll remember our laughs & inside jokes, & all the random games we'd come up with to keep our minds away from boredom.

They will always & forever be the first person that pops into my mind when any one of the countless songs they introduced me to comes up on shuffle.

But I'll always remember that I wasn't "a good enough friend" when I couldn't drop everything during my mom's chemo to help them win back an ex. I wasn't "a good enough friend" any of the times I'd stay up with them all night on the phone, because they needed someone to be there in person.

I'll always remember being told I wasn't "a good enough friend" while also being told I was their best & only friend.

I'll always remember being so confused, & constantly questioning what I could do better in our friendship. I'll also remember them never showing guilt or regret after hurting me.

I won't answer their messages, because I'll always remember the pressure & loneliness that's comes along with them.

...no matter how much I miss the fun times.

[m-ilys-grave]

It's my 4 year anniversary on Tumblr apparently.

[m-ilys-grave]

The only productive mornings I have now are the ones that seem to pop up out of nowhere when I haven't slept throughout the night.

I'm runnin' on naps & random waves of energy at this point.

As long as the ones around me are happy, I'm ok with being a little tired.

-m.ily

[m-ilys-grave]

Lavender skies