marshintobattle

[marshintobattle]

hey! who are your fave trans/trans ally youtubers? I like watching jamie dodger (ftm trans guy!) and one topic at a time (straight but a queer/trans ally!) :3

Hi I’m not doing the trans journal account anymore but I just saw this- and I want to say that I currently love cooper (ally!), if you haven’t heard of him I’ll link you! Thank u for asking this eons ago 🫶🏻

[marshintobattle]

"sell weed" XDDD YES SIR! I love this post. I'm going to draw it off as a check list so I can check each item off when it's done. Im not kidding. I will post a picture if you dont believe me.

Tips for looking more like a fucking guy lmfao

Passing tips. These are a long time coming. I’ll add as I think of more, feel free to do the same.

Walk in larger strides, just loosely and shit

Raising/furrowing eyebrows. Idk the science behind this one just trust me. Also don’t fill them in.

Don’t talk with your hands. If I make gestures I usually do it with my whole arm lmfao

Not to be stereotypical but I’m naturally prone to being more aggressive and that sure doesn’t hurt when I need to pass

Climalite/mid calf socks. Mine are nike (👉🏼😎👉🏼)

But 4 the love of god be cautious buying the socks with fuckin plants or dog patterns on them. I recommend sticking with the usual adidas or nikes

Dont talk so fast, that’s typically a female thing (dont attack me, its one of the things u learn voice training) and I’m a fast ass talker lmaoo

I stress the cracks in my voice from time to time

Dont cover your mouth when you yawn unless needed

Dont do sweater paws oh my goooododddd

If done correctly, tighter fitting clothes become a godsend. Getting a sweatshirt a tiny size down makes your shoulders look broader, hugs back muscles, etc. Try them on first and stuff just to be sure, not all items of clothing are the same material, yadda yadda yadda. You know what I mean

I buy my shoes at least one size up

Sell weed

The only people I know who sell are males

I’M REALLY LOSING MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT

Taking interest in things is not feminine. Jesus lord. The extent of information my friends know about r6siege is insurmountable. The amount of time we talk about a single Marvel movie? I’m going to make a post on that bc I have so many theories about IW. Wait on it. Anyways

I’m neutral on hair styling. Doing everything in my power to avoid the “lesbian cut”, I’m neutral on styling. A lot of my friends do, a lot don’t. Rlly just depends on the person. If you want fixed neat hair just go for it.

Casual clothing tips: joggers, dark shirts, shorts with climalite socks

Slides are comfortable as hell mine are nike, these can be a bit pricey but not if you know where to look

Generally stretch your body out when sitting/lying down. At school I’ll usually put my feet on the table, or sling my arm around the back of my friend’s chairs or something.

[marshintobattle]

March 21st, 2021

TW! Hip dysphoria

I’m jamming out to alt music to block out my parental unit’s music, so don't doubt it if it feel like I'm writing to a beat… because i am.

So! Tips? Opinions? Yeah. I'm gonna just unleash my gay fury onto my keyboard and organize it after the fact. Here we go.

*takes a sip of Coca-Cola*

Okie! Today I woke up late and threw on one of the few pairs of jeans I own that don't make me cringe every time I see them on me and one of my pop’s old shirts. I have found out that it takes much less time to get ready when I’m not worrying about not looking like total crap with long/long-ish hair.

Seriously, all I had to do this morning was position my hair so it didn’t look like a birds nest, which only took a few swipes with my fingers. I think the longest part of my routine now that I’m trying to attempt passing is binding. I do not own a binder (yet!), so I have to wrap fabric around my chest (don't worry, it breathable fabric, I'm not slowly murdering my ribs. Sometimes I have to take it off in the middle of the day or it unravels all on its own if I didn't put a sports bra over it.

On clothing, though. If you’re wanting to pass, it’s really a matter of what body type you have. I have a friend who is also FtM, and he’s really narrow all over. He rocks the skinny e-boy vibe, he’s said so himself. For smaller people like that, i think the main issue would be narrow shoulders. He doesn’t need to bind unless she wants to wear a tight shirt or something that is chest accenting. I don't know if he finds these things difficult and pestering or not, though. I might ask if he could write a bit on his struggles for me to post or see if he wants to join me in writing on this account.

For me, my issue is that I'm wide. Not just in the sense that if I were female I’d be called “curvy” (god, I hate that word.), but my frame is actually wide. I have wide shoulders nd hips. There's a saying, “father like son” and my father and I are no excuse. He’s short and squat like I am (I'm shorter lolol), but he’s also what some may coin “beefy.” He has these bear paw hands and wide, linebacker shoulders. I received these! I used to think of them as a curse when I was desperately trying to be feminine, but now it’s nice. I will never need any kind of shoulder help (is that a thing? probably) in my transition! Yippee!

But getting back on track, for chubbier AFAB people, we have to do a bit of work to pass. Everyone in the trans community has to work to pass, but I’m just here to talk about us trans bois/masc presenting NB folk. Most trans guys/masc. Presenting NB folk probably bind when they can, some probably pack whenever they can. Heck, some may even use makeup to make themselves look more angular! I would if i weren't so lazy.

For me, I bind almost every day and pack maybe a few times a week. I shave my facial peachfuzz every other day, along with my pathetic little excuse for a mustache. I also shave my underarms once a week, but that's just because I find it more comfortable. Same for my legs, but I can last a month before it starts itching. I don't know why it itches. It just does.

[marshintobattle]

a guide on men's bathrooms

lemme tell you, when you start passing and trying out this scary ass world you gotta prepare- so here’s a list of stuff to watch out for

• don’t look at the urinal with profound bewilderment (trust me, it’s an URGE) • when a man nods at you while takin a thicc piss, nod back. idk why, it’s secret cis code • man says ‘how’s it goin?’ don’t hesitate, put on your best Straight Male™ voice and say ‘it’s goin.’ • usually this will be garnered with a gruff laugh, don’t smile or they will smell your humanity!! wash your hands and go bud. • don’t act like you ain’t meant to be there, you’re prolly more of a man than any of those fuckers so stand tall and stand proud • if someone glances at you weird, rather than thinking 'shit im not passing’ realize that it’s probably just that you were so handsome that you just gave a guy his awakening!! congrats!!! • don’t back down. you both reaching to get that piece of paper towel first? be fast. be bold. crush your enemies. • a group of swanky men come in laughing? avoid. • business men? avoid. • friendly men? approach with caution. • nervous boy™? congrats you’ve found your kin!!! bless!!! • above all, don’t be too scared. it is horrifying at first but i promise you you are looking super manly today!! strut into that bathroom!! those losers that say dumb shit?? break their faces with a mirror!! • you got this!! you are valid my lovely masc-identifying humans!!

[marshintobattle]

I am alive. Probably. FTM Journal entry. Yeah.

MARCH 19, 2021

It’s been a bit too long since I wrote in this. I’ve had a rough few days.

Still rough but I feel like writing in this will make me feel accomplished.

So, remember that trans swap I wrote about? The clothes I sent arrived today! Yay! The admin I sent things too liked all that I put into the box. I put in feminine clothing, candy, a letter, and a small homeade pride flag. I’ll be getting a binder among some other small things, too… the only issue is I'm not sure whether or not I got my binder size correct.

According to gc2b I was supposed to match my gust size to my shoulder width to get the size I needed. My bust was a bit bigger than the width of my shoulders, and the instructions said that if that happened to go with the larger size according to your bust. I went with what felt right, though. I felt that if I went with the larger size, it would be too big everywhere but the bust. I went with the in-between size. This probably isn't a great idea, but if it doesn't fit me I can just send it back next time there is a swap. I emailed gc2b for a size recommendation and sent them my measurements, but it could take 3-5 business days from a response. So, now I wait.

*sigh*

In other news.

Sad cat memes are on the rise in the meme market.

Because I've been using them a lot lately.

Okay I'm going to pass out for 8 hours now, goodnight from the past.

P.S. I'll write up some binding tips and post them next week!

[marshintobattle]

Apologies!

Sorry for not having posted for the past two (three?! I’ve lost count, honestly - ) days! I’ve been staying with a friend and I’ve been super lazy - all I’ve done is watch YouTube and chat online with my long distance pals. I’ll post something tomorrow, probably some passing tips!

[marshintobattle]

TW!! FTM dysphoria warning. If periods give you dysphoria don’t read the last paragraph.

MARCH 12 2021

So I cut my hair a few months ago in a long pixie style, a big change from what I had, which was mid-back length hair. Today, however, I’m getting a super short boy cut!! I'm really excited, but also nervous. I’m at a hair salon instead of a barbershop because I’m in a super small, rural, conservative town, and I’m too chicken to waltz into a barbershop.

Since I’m at a salon in a small rural town, however, I will probably have to add the finishing touches myself. Like shaving my sideburns straight and styling them in a masculine way, but I think this haircut is going to help to pass a little bit more. 

I'm about to get my hair cut, but I’ll report back in with how I like it when it's done!! 

(I was a little upset at how it was styled so it was the next day before I continued lol)

March 13th 2021

Okay SO! I didn’t like the way the hairdresser styled it. She styled it in a way that looked like Rizzo from Grease. But this morning I styled it all fluffy on top. Actually, I just woke up with it like that, and I put some hair stuff in it to keep it that way all day. I love it, I look like a mix of Brendon Urie and a NY street gangster kid.

Sorry for the short entry. I haven’t been feeling great. I started my period yesterday, so that’s probably why! I’ll post more on Monday, along with some tips for dealing with periods as an AFAB human being. Follow for more posts on FTM hacks/tips/journal entries.

[marshintobattle]

Trans Pride Swap!!

March 11 2021

No journal entry today simple because nothing worth writing about happened today, so I decided to bring some attention to this! Trans Pride Swap is an Instagram account dedicated to supplying transgender/transsexual/non-binary kids with what they need! Right now they are accepting monetary donations and clothing donations! They also accept things like binders, gaffs, silicone breasts, etc.. 

The way it works is when you enter for something, you will be sent one main item (binder, gaff, silicone breasts, etc.) along with some smaller items (pins, candy, etc.)!

But if any of you can, donate some stuff! Even if it’s just a few small things you don’t use anymore or 5 bucks! Anything helps!

Also here is their GoFundMe! They are so close to their goal!

Thanks for reading :)) <3

[marshintobattle]

Lets Talk About "Super Straight..."

March 10 2021

This isn’t really a journal entry. More like an opinion session.

WOULD ANYONE TELL ME WHAT THE HELL THIS IS?!?! I was looking up “Super Straight” on Google and this was one of the image results! WhY?!?!

First off: DOUBLE STANDARD ALERT!!! DOUBLE STANDARD!!!! Protect your straight kids from trans people? Why not protect trans kids from transphobic people? When has a trans person ever bullied a straight person for being straight??? (I’m sure there has been some of that bullying, but there has been much more bullying of trans people by straight people.) Not to mention trans people can be straight.

I was going to save this point for later, but THIS IS A CALL TO ALL YOU STRAIGHT TRANS PEOPLE! JOIN THE SUPER STRAIGHT “COMMUNITY.” STEAL THE THRONE.

THE GUY HAS A BAT.

Okay, so time for the brass tax. I’ve been hearing a lot about this “Super Straight” thing for the past few days. As a trans person, I take this seriously. Here’s where I’m confused - didn’t we already go through this? I thought we weren’t letting straight people into the community (except for Allies)? Last year, right? The Hets wanted their own Pride, flag, etc. and we said “You haven’t been harassed for who you love, so no?” (in no way am I saying straights can’t be harassed for who they love [i.e. Romeo and Juliet], but I’m saying its much MUCH less common. Right?) So why are “Super lesbians” and “Super gays” becoming a thing now, too? Don’t they realize they’re only supporting, not only transphobia but also homophobia? It’s like the wolf in sheep’s clothing, except it’s the bullshit in orange and black clothing. Those are the colors of my school team, not a pride flag.

Another point I have that I saw mentioned yet not really discussed in a TikTok (it was more in general, not because of the “Super Straight” thing); This human said something along the lines of “Ok, manly man, you’re transphobic and won’t date a trans woman, does this mean you’ll date a trans man? Since gender doesn’t matter to you, he’s a woman in your eyes.” (“ah- um, no. She looks like a man..?”) “But you just said you wouldn’t date a trans woman who is far more beautiful than any cis woman who will agree to date you. Double standard much?”

(I fudged the lines a little to have it make sense. Because when I remember TikToks, they don’t make much sense.)

Really, it IS a double standard. Also, these “Super Straights” are just too flimsy in their own sexuality they need to define the straightness they have lived with for years and have been expected to live with. They aren’t secure in their gender identity, whatever it is.

I would understand the need for something akin to this if being gay was the “default” instead of being straight. Since it’s not, however, I see no reason for a straight pride, or “super straight” being added to the LGBTQ+ community. In explanation, nothing has happened to them for being straight that gives them the right to be proud about being out in the open with their sexuality. A guy likes a woman, so what? That’s not anything anyone bats their eyes about. However, when it is a trans guy liking a trans woman or any member of the LGBTQ+ community liking anyone, the homophobes/transphobes start freaking out. “Oh dear god, break out the crosses, holy water, and exorcists, and let’s crucify ‘em.”

(a little dramatic but you get my point)

Furthermore, to anyone who comes out as “Super (straight/gay/lesbian/bisexual [etc.]),” I do not respect you in any way, shape, or form. Not because of your sexuality, but because you refuse to respect others.

(I'm putting super straight in the tags so I can get hate/traction on both sides to fuel my determination. Here we go.)

[marshintobattle]

MARCH 9, 2021

Today I packed. I found out that it’s much easier to walk like a guy when there’s a sock between your legs. Also, it makes sitting like a guy feel less awkward. You try sitting with your legs together with a sock right there. I don’t know how some guys sit with their legs together, let alone cross their legs. I mean whatever is comfy I guess!

I’m also pitching my voice down. So that sounds nice.

A friend gave me amazing advice yesterday. She is also trans(MTF), and one of the few people I feel like I can talk to about how I feel. I told her that I kept going down thought spirals of “I’m a girl, I’m a girl - et cetera.” She told me she dealt with that kind of dysphoria when she started going through the motions as well. She said going through transition is like jumping into a pool - the water is cold, and you may have to tread water for a little bit, but soon you’ll get the hang of it. She also said that it’s okay if your head dips below the surface, “Just make sure to hold your breath.”

I made my Tumblr! But obviously, if this is being read this is already common knowledge. To those of you reading this, anyway.

[marshintobattle]

Lets Talk About "Super Straight..."

March 10 2021

This isn’t really a journal entry. More like an opinion session.

WOULD ANYONE TELL ME WHAT THE HELL THIS IS?!?! I was looking up “Super Straight” on Google and this was one of the image results! WhY?!?!

First off: DOUBLE STANDARD ALERT!!! DOUBLE STANDARD!!!! Protect your straight kids from trans people? Why not protect trans kids from transphobic people? When has a trans person ever bullied a straight person for being straight??? (I’m sure there has been some of that bullying, but there has been much more bullying of trans people by straight people.) Not to mention trans people can be straight.

I was going to save this point for later, but THIS IS A CALL TO ALL YOU STRAIGHT TRANS PEOPLE! JOIN THE SUPER STRAIGHT “COMMUNITY.” STEAL THE THRONE.

THE GUY HAS A BAT.

Okay, so time for the brass tax. I’ve been hearing a lot about this “Super Straight” thing for the past few days. As a trans person, I take this seriously. Here’s where I’m confused - didn’t we already go through this? I thought we weren’t letting straight people into the community (except for Allies)? Last year, right? The Hets wanted their own Pride, flag, etc. and we said “You haven’t been harassed for who you love, so no?” (in no way am I saying straights can’t be harassed for who they love [i.e. Romeo and Juliet], but I’m saying its much MUCH less common. Right?) So why are “Super lesbians” and “Super gays” becoming a thing now, too? Don’t they realize they’re only supporting, not only transphobia but also homophobia? It’s like the wolf in sheep’s clothing, except it’s the bullshit in orange and black clothing. Those are the colors of my school team, not a pride flag.

Another point I have that I saw mentioned yet not really discussed in a TikTok (it was more in general, not because of the “Super Straight” thing); This human said something along the lines of “Ok, manly man, you’re transphobic and won’t date a trans woman, does this mean you’ll date a trans man? Since gender doesn’t matter to you, he’s a woman in your eyes.” (“ah- um, no. She looks like a man..?”) “But you just said you wouldn’t date a trans woman who is far more beautiful than any cis woman who will agree to date you. Double standard much?”

(I fudged the lines a little to have it make sense. Because when I remember TikToks, they don’t make much sense.)

Really, it IS a double standard. Also, these “Super Straights” are just too flimsy in their own sexuality they need to define the straightness they have lived with for years and have been expected to live with. They aren’t secure in their gender identity, whatever it is.

I would understand the need for something akin to this if being gay was the “default” instead of being straight. Since it’s not, however, I see no reason for a straight pride, or “super straight” being added to the LGBTQ+ community. In explanation, nothing has happened to them for being straight that gives them the right to be proud about being out in the open with their sexuality. A guy likes a woman, so what? That’s not anything anyone bats their eyes about. However, when it is a trans guy liking a trans woman or any member of the LGBTQ+ community liking anyone, the homophobes/transphobes start freaking out. “Oh dear god, break out the crosses, holy water, and exorcists, and let’s crucify ‘em.”

(a little dramatic but you get my point)

Furthermore, to anyone who comes out as “Super (straight/gay/lesbian/bisexual [etc.]),” I do not respect you in any way, shape, or form. Not because of your sexuality, but because you refuse to respect others.

(I'm putting super straight in the tags so I can get hate/traction on both sides to fuel my determination. Here we go.)

[marshintobattle]

Day One Of Transition Journaling!

MARCH 8, 2021 (Yesterday lol ;0;)

~!!!~ (Tips? Kind of?)

First day binding at school. I keep going into the thoughts where I think “You’re a dude, but you aren’t?” where I think being trans means I’m “he/him”. I’m not, I’m “they/them” who just so happens to be masculine. *sigh*

I’ll get it sooner or later.

I need to take off the bind, it hurts. lol.

~!!!~

{If your bind hurts, take it off. Pain means something is wrong. You may have binded wrong, too tightly, or in another way that could damage your ribs/lungs/breast tissue. I know, I know, the whole point is to not have breast tissue/have it show, but if you ever want to get top surgery you need to keep yourself healthy.}

I’m nervous to deepen my voice in front of my class or teachers. If they ask, I won’t be able to give the real reason. I go to school in a small, rural, conservative town in Oklahoma. My class is 14 people, including me. They all call me “Whitney,” use “she/her” pronouns, and I just deal with it.

~!!!~

{Always do what is safe for you. If you're in a conservative, transphobic community, some people could be violent towards you if you come out or could start bullying. Do whatever you feel comfortable with, but if you come out and someone starts messing with you, go to a trusted adult who can stop it or help you deal with it.}