mattauks

[mattauks]

at what age do you accept that you and your digestive system are never gonna be friends again

[mattauks]

[mattauks]

i let them hit because they were honest about their intentions and created a healthy, open line of communication between us that made me feel safe and secure enough to let them see me in one of my most vulnerable states

[mattauks]

ii was trying to season reheated mcdonalds fries i took the cap off for some reason without realizing it and i

[mattauks]

If sitting slouched means a cat can lie on my stomach comfortably maybe I don't want to have a healthy back

[mattauks]

[mattauks]

fumbling a man with long hair has felled even the mightiest warriors

[mattauks]

whoever said all-nighters are exhausting is a liar i'm doing great. i've never felt better in my entire life, the birds are chirping as they welcome me into the gates of morningdom

[mattauks]

Just like humans (should be)

[mattauks]

A human exhibit at the zoo with a sign that says "don't talk to me, I'm American"

do you speak any languages besides english or are you boring

Fuck off I’m not boring I’m just American. You learn MY language not the other way around EEEE 🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅 EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

[mattauks]

[mattauks]

Wie cool ist das! (They took the creature)

[mattauks]

[mattauks]

[mattauks]

Your daily dose of cat memes

[mattauks]

I have the hot kind of autism where are the goth girls in my dms

[mattauks]

Me when I have enough money to finally become a femboy