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'Nuff said

Yeah, that is America’s ass

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“The truth is……I am Iron Man.”

Thank you, Robert Downey Jr., for your outstanding performance as Tony Stark in the Marvel Cinematic Universe (2008-2019)

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Rest in Peace Stan Lee (1922-2018)

Thank you for everything you've done for Marvel, creating a platform uniting passionate fans like myself together on a global scale through your comics and movies alike. Your legacy lives on and will not be forgotten.

EXCELSIOR!!

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I am Peter

some Fool: *insults tony*

peter:

peter:

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HELL TO THE YES I would

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Need I say anything more?

i stan this whole twitter account

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So relevant right now

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He deserves that happiness in life

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The Al Dente Killer: a rough draft

It was just your normal kind of day. Well, at least it was for our lawful chaotic protagonist off to make another kill in the name of vigilante justice. You see, he dives into the deepest depths of the dark web to eliminate the scum of the Earth that pose a threat to good people like you and me. He began his career as a humble medical examiner, but it was not truly his calling as you may have already guessed.

Hey narrator guy, you haven’t even told the reader why I’m wearing this totally unfabulous get-up while pushing a cart full of cleaning supplies with a hidden compartment overflowing of uncooked spaghetti noodles and marinara sauce.

Oh, right. He’s planning on killing a “real skeezy S.O.B” in room 3E at the end of the hall. Just a purely unsaveable soul if you ask me.

Haha, you remembered what I called him? You’re the coolest, dude.

Well, uh, thank you sir.

Could you quiet it down just a pinch though? It’s my time to shine.

Right, of course. Go on then, my good man.

Thanks, bro. Keep it chill.

*knocks on door* Housekeeping!

*door opens* Huh, what? It’s nearly 3 in the morning. Wait, I thought only women worked on this floor.

First of all, that’s kinda sexist, and second of all, you’re the last person that should be within any remote distance of a female.

What? What are you talking about? Who the hell are you?

I’d say your worst nightmare, but that’s just too cliche. Anyhoosies, a little birdie told me you’ve been dabbling in a little bit of sex trafficking, and I’m here to make sure you don’t have the means to do that anymore.

Are you going to kill me?

Ding ding ding! You’re pretty smart. Too bad you’re also pretty sick in the head though. Damn. I really need to get paid for this stuff.

What? You’ve done this before? Why?

Because people like you are the scum of the Earth and doing disgusting shit like this instead of getting help, and finding a more constructive outlet is apparently impossible. Your inferiority complexes literally become the death of you all.

*Spins around and runs for his desk where his phone sits* I’m calling the police.

Okay, cool. I’m expecting them to come by the way, just not in time to save you.

*Shoots him in the head before he can fully react* *the man collapses onto the floor on his back, bright red blood begins to pool around his skull and neck* *glossy eyes become flat and lifeless* Yikes, so messy.

*killer picks up the phone*

*imitates voice of the now-dead sleazebag* Yes, hello, I’m being held hostage in room 3E of the Briarwood Hotel by a murderer and if he doesn’t speak in person to the chief of police in exactly half an hour, I will die. He has fired off a warning shot and told me his next one will go into my head! Please don’t keep him waiting any longer!!”

*hangs up the phone*

Well, you’re not getting any deader, sweetheart. Better get to cleaning you up right quick. *begins to whistle “Buffalo Gals, Won’t You Come out Tonight” as he cleans up the scene*

*just as the police arrive onto the scene, the killer leaves as nonchalantly as he arrived, packing his supplies into the back of his lightly-used neon pink mini-van*

*in the car* Hey, great job back there keeping this all on the down-low, narrator guy. Would you like to join me for the next adventure?

Err, yes. Of course.

Great! I’ve got a lot of juicy leads that I’m sitting on and can’t wait to hop back in the saddle. But first, I need a juice box and a 3-day Netflix binge-nap when I get back. It’s exhausting being a good person.

I just don’t get it, Lieutenant.

Get what, sir?

How this man was shot with a .38 calibre but no sign of blood anywhere. No fingerprints, DNA, nothing for the killer.

Oh, I thought you were referring to the plate of spaghetti addressed to all of us, “with love, Batman”

What? Let me see that.

This isn’t their first kill, sir. Remember the La Quinta incident down the street 3 months ago?

Yeah, I do.

That man was a registered sex offender convicted for running a child pornography circuit. That’s no doubt a connection.

You’re right, Lieutenant. The Al Dente Killer has struck again. Lord only knows when they’ll be back for more...

***This is VERY rough, but I'm proud of how it's set up. Needs more action to match the dialogue and descriptions for the scenes, but I think it's a good foundation to work with in the future***

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Actual Squish Friendship™ Banner×Thor

A summary of Bruce Banner in Infinity War.

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I will show someone this if they ask me "What turns you on?" or want to know if I'm into anything *weird*

Hmm, getting ideas for a Halloween costume for my bf now..

Stephen Strange in this outfit is all I need in life.

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If you haven't started watching Stranger Things, but you're tempted

Just do it, my peeps. If you like the Goonies and sci-fi stuff, you will love this show. The plot keeps you locked from the start. Let your curiosity and binge-watch desires take over. You won't regret it. Pinkie promise

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Not needing attention, just venting since I never really do it

It's one of those days where all the things affecting my mental health are ganging up on me all at once and I desperately wish to be neurotypical. Or just not exist for awhile. Yay.

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No more sad Iron Dad pls Marvel

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Never knew I needed this until now.

Thank you

I’m funny. #starwars #frozen #elsa #darthvader #bobafett

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Public face Tony Stark in a nutshell

everyone around him: so you dont have to say you’re iron man, here’s your alibi

tony:

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Spread the word, people!

Did you know that June is National Camping Month and National Great Outdoors Month? Let’s celebrate the great outdoors! Where best to do this? In your national parks! Each Saturday we’ll share things you can do at Petrified Forest National Park.

Backpack into the Wilderness and spend a night or two. Experience the park as only a fraction of the visitors do; contemplate our amazing night sky. (hl)