mera-mann

[mera-mann]

okay my bad, he searched up one of his exes accounts, day's ruined again

he replied to my message first and ignored the rest, and suddenly life is worth living again

[mera-mann]

he replied to my message first and ignored the rest, and suddenly life is worth living again

[mera-mann]

idk what would be worse, knowing that he truly loved her in the past, or finding out he only loved her in in a shallow way or was unsincere towards her. i would want to hear that he didnt love her but if he didnt, then that would be the case for me too, but if he did love her in the relationship, it implies he does love me truly too, but the catch is he did love people before me, and that pains me to no extent (can u guys follow this train of thought or am i descending into sheer madness)

cant i be assured that you love me and you didnt love her? why is that not possible? why is the idea of you loving me attached to you loving her in the past? the thought alone, of how you used to love her, made tremendous efforts for your relationship, got depressed without her, bought her things, posted her, oh did i mention loved her ? makes me wanna unalive myself honestly

anyways haha hows ur morning guys 😃

[mera-mann]

yeah can someone just run over me now, thanks

[mera-mann]

HOW DO YOU HEAL ANXIOUS ATTACHMENTS AND RANDOM BURSTS OF OVERTHINKING AND ANXIETY??!! i am so done with it, why cant a day go by without me overthinking the smallest things and getting sick to my stomach 😭

[mera-mann]

that's actually weird 😭😭 i wonder what your gory ones are like 😭

question: whats the weirdest dream yall ever had?

ill tell you mine , i saw that i am being cheated on, but with a kaamwali aunty 😭😭

another one, a beheaded pennywise head was after me 😃😃

(the more violent and gory ones cannot be told 😭)

[mera-mann]

question: whats the weirdest dream yall ever had?

ill tell you mine , i saw that i am being cheated on, but with a kaamwali aunty 😭😭

another one, a beheaded pennywise head was after me 😃😃

(the more violent and gory ones cannot be told 😭)

[mera-mann]

i love sleeping .. u don't miss anyone & you don't feel any pain

[mera-mann]

this ..

"I fear to love you too much and lose you and suffer, and I also fear to not love you and miss a love chance and regret it. I live with you an unbalance state since I knew you, my life going perfectly, except my heart which is a mess. I always fear the endings, for I am used to lose anything I love, so please tell me: How can I love you without pain? And how can I not love you with regret?

أخاف أن أحبك جدا فأفقدك ثم أتألم، و أخاف أيضا أن لا أحبك فتضيع فرصة الحب فأندم، أعيش معك حالة لا توازن منذ أن عرفتك، حياتي تسير بإنتظام، ما عدا قلبي فإنه تسوده الفوضى. لكني أخشى النهايات دوما، فأنا قد اعتدت دائما أن أفقد أي شيء أحبه. أرجوك أخبرني : كيف "أحبك بلا ألم؟ وكيف لا أحبك بلا ندم؟

[mera-mann]

when he makes you cry but you still want him to fuck u and make you sleep on his chest

[mera-mann]

love = fear ?

why does the fear of him leaving me out of his life make me wanna rip my heart out and burst it into a million pieces, each one in its tattered state still devoted to him

why does even the thought of him even paying attention to another girl make me want to carve his name all over my body so he can see the way in which he consumes my being, although that isnt enough

i love intensely, thus i fear intensely. he consumes me, and if he does me wrong, that will consume me whole too.

at this moment i find it hard to stop spiraling, i want to let my thoughts loose control, i want to sob, i want to scream, it's far too tempting. for my own comfort, i will show him the wounds and slashes on my heart, and whatever sweet words he will whisper to me, i will have to make do with them, for the sake of my own sanity.

why is it that loving someone always comes with a price? why is it that i have given someone the key to my heart, and he could do anything he wants with it. he makes me happy, he makes me satisfied, he makes me sad, but worse of all (or best?) he makes me afraid. deathly afraid. of losing him. of losing us.

he could treat me like a ragdoll and i would still line up to give him the last of everything thats left in me, and i would let him drag me to hell if it means i'll get to hold his hand

my darling, even seeing the slightest thing sets me off really badly, i might be fucked up, but you fuck me up worse, or maybe its just my brain going overboard, god knows, at this moment i just want this to end. please let this feeling end. please tell me you love me and i belong to you. i hope when i'll talk to you you'll come up with a great excuse, so i can sleep peacefully at night.

i love you. please dont break my heart.

i am falling, i am fading, i am drowning

help me to breathe

i am hurting, i have lost it all

i am losing

help me to breathe