mervardent

[mervardent]

AI can pry the emdash, the semicolon, and the oxford comma from my cold dead hands

[mervardent]

[mervardent]

sometimes I’ll be looking at my own fic just to see how long it’s been since I last updated it and all I feel is

✨shame✨

[mervardent]

Hot take: the "Zhongli is the dad and Xiao and Hu Tao are children" fanon wouldn't be as popular if Xiao and Hu Tao had tall models

Nothing against you if you like this headcanon, mind you. It's so popular for a reason.

I just find it really annoying how this fandom tends to take one fanon and treat it as if it were canon, and then to try to annihilate other headcanons by calling them creepy.

There's nothing creepy in shipping two adult characters. If anything, I find creepy the tendency to infantilize people who are shorter or smaller. So, you're telling me you treat people as less just because of their looks?

Let's be real, if Xiao had the tall model, he and Zhongli would be one of the most popular ships in Genshin. We would have a lot of Tartaglia/Zhongli/Xiao fancontent as well. Just look at the ultimate master&servant ship, Thomato: it's the most popular ship of Thoma and one of the most popular ships of Ayato. Zhongli and Xiao also fit this trope, but add in here way more angst. And people love angst.

And Hu Tao? Again, she's an adult. As far as we know, she's in her early to middle twenties right now and was in her late teens to early twenties at the start of the game (here's the post where I do the math). Tartaglia is a young adult as well, and it doesn't stop people from shipping him with Zhongli. Hell, that was one of the most popular ships at the start of the game and is still a popular one now.

People often complain about all the romantic ships, which is valid, because people are often really weird about them. However, some platonic shippers show the same tendency. In general, this fandom has the problem of taking one fanon and acting as if it was the only correct one - same goes for stuff like "hahah, Ayaka is a yandere for Aether" (I get it, it can be funny, but c'mon, Ayaya is a pretty sweet character and has more to her than just memes that don't have a lot to do with her actual personality).

Now, clutch your pearls, because I have an even hotter take for you: you can enjoy dynamics which are mutually exclusive. You can be a multishipper and like Albedo with Kaeya and Albedo with Sucrose, but you don't have to make them a polycule in your headcanon if you don't feel like it. You can have two separate headcanons. You can prefer Yun Jin and Xinyan as friends but also understand and like the vision of them being a couple. You can prefer Zhongli and Xiao as a father-son relationship but also find the idea of them being in a romantic one interesting. Because guess what - they aren't actually a father and a son. They're friends, and also, to a degree, a master and a servant. What you'll do with that is up to you.

Seriously, I admire fellow NeuvillettexFurina shippers for fighting so strongly that the narrative "Neuvillette is the dad and Furina is the daughter" didn't become the only "correct" one. Stay on your post, fellow soldiers.

To conclude:

Your headcanon/ship isn't the only correct one.

Stop treating all the adult characters/people who look younger or are shorter like children.

You can simultaneously like a few different interpretations of the same relationship.

It's supposed to be fun. Let's not ruin it for others just because we have different tastes.

[mervardent]

HOW OLD IS HU TAO?

I did all this math during the last Lantern Rite but never posted it. But better late than never, amirite or amirite. I wouldn't be surprised if someone else had already done this but I haven't seen it, so, sorry for doing the same thing as you, hypothetical someone?

Now, let's count the age of Hu Tao, shall we? So, our first assumption is that 1 year in real life equals 1 year in the game (after all, we have all these Lantern Rites). In the last Lantern Rite, it was stated that the tragedy on Wuwang Hill happened over 10 years ago. I assume that they would say "almost 15" if it was 14 years ago, so let's say it was 11-13 years ago. The grandpa of Hu Tao died shortly after. She herself states that he would compliment her when she was 8 years old.

We also know from the story about her vision that her grandpa died when she was 13 years old:

"Only thirteen at the time, Hu Tao, who would later go on to become the Director in turn, made all the arrangements herself to the highest standard, greatly impressing the undertakers."

Now, the grandpa died soon after the tragedy, but how much is "soon after"? To me 1-2 years at most, but let's say 1-3 years after the tragedy.

Let's assume she was 10 during the event at Wuwang Hill and the "over ten years ago" means 11 years. This would mean she would be around 21 during the 2025 Lantern Rite and 17 during the first Lantern Rite in 2021.

Now let's consider the oldest probable option. Let's assume her grandpa died only a few months after the tragedy, and the "over ten years ago" means "13 years ago". 13+13=26 during the 2025 Lantern Rite and 22 during the 2021 Lantern Rite.

Now, both of these options seem like a stretch to me. I assume the most realistic option is somewhere in the middle. However, whether you prefer your Hu Tao as a little younger or a little older, she's now in her early to middle twenties.

[mervardent]

Hi 👋, My name is Mohammad, and I’m reaching out in a moment of desperate need. I’m a father of three young children living in Gaza, and we are caught in the midst of a catastrophic war. Our home is no longer a safe haven, and the future here seems increasingly uncertain. 💔

I’ve launched a fundraising campaign with the goal of raising $40,000 to relocate my family to a safer place where my children can grow up in peace and have a chance at a brighter future.

Unfortunately, my previous fundraising efforts were abruptly halted when my account was terminated without explanation. However, I remain determined to keep fighting for my family’s safety and well-being. 🫶

If you could take a moment to read our story, consider donating, or simply share our campaign with others, it would make an incredible difference. Every act of kindness, no matter how small, brings us one step closer to safety and a new beginning. 🙏

Thank you for your time, compassion, and support. ❤️‍🩹

https://gofund.me/fd1faea2 🔗

https://gofund.me/fd1faea2

[mervardent]

When I read this post for the first time, it fixed my view of Zhongli, and for that I'm grateful.

I’m tired of people acting like Zhongli is a serious and chill guy who would never cause problems on purpose as if he isn’t one of the biggest menaces out of the Seven. He used to throw mountains at Venti for annoying him. He, the god of history, starts fights among historians for shits and giggles. He tried to gaslight the Traveler into thinking he was totally not at the Chasm guys really Aether/Lumine you must be seeing things maybe you should go see Baizhu. When Qiqi wanted “Cocogoat” milk he was like “Oh yeah sure totally let’s go look for it” knowing damn well it was a wild goose chase. He made the Traveler sing to a flower and then was like “Oh would you look at that” when a Whooperflower jumped out to maul them. I love him. He’s like a cat pushing things off the counter to see how people react. I would pay to see him interact directly with Neuvillette because I know for a fact he’d get on that man’s nerves and argue about water tasting just to feel something. Furina used freedom from godhood to take a nap and Zhongli used it to give psychic damage to anyone who talks to him longer than 5 minutes. Iconic.

[mervardent]

Living Gold

+18, minors do not interact

Nick on AO3: MervArdent (check for detailed tags of the fic)

Ship: Xiao/Yanfei

Characters: Xiao, Hu Tao

A pretty vanilla porn without plot with some fluff&humor. They both switch.

Flames dancing both in the material world and the shadow one. Clothes drying next to the fire. Two bodies next to each other, maintaining an appropriate distance. An awkward silence.

Yanfei glanced at Xiao. He had sharp facial futures. She felt like they looked even sharper than when they first met, down there in the Chasm. Maybe they looked like this because of the current lighting. Or they have sharpened as the invisible baggage kept growing up through the years of him being an adeptus. Or both. Who knows? How much did she know about him, actually?

“Thanks for the help.”

“Don’t mention it.”

Some more silence that weighed on her.

She didn’t expect to be caught by such heavy storm on her way back from a client from Qince Village, let alone to meet Xiao in such a situation. Now, that it was clear the rain won’t stop anytime soon and it got dark, all they had to do was waiting. Half-naked, as they got soaked to the skin before they went into this small cave in the woods, and sitting in wet clothes wasn’t a smart idea.

“No, really. I appreciate that.” She leaned closer and touched his hand. He flinched.

“No problem. You just should be more cautious next time.”

“Sure. Sorry.”

“What was so important to go so far away anyway?”

“A divorce case. I hate them, but madam Ping asked me to take this one. It’s messy,” she sighed.

“I miss the point of doing all this. Marrying, then parting your ways, and all this during such short lifetimes.”

“Well,” Yanfei pulled her knees up to her chin, “I guess the feelings sometimes change. And it’s better to go separate ways than stay in a loveless marriage. And other times there were red flags from the start, but one or both parties chose to ignore them.”

Xiao frowned.

“Why?”

“Because… they’re lonely. To the point they think it’s better to be with someone, anyone, than to be alone.”

“This sounds stupid.”

“It’s often rooted in insecurity or bad role models, from what I’ve seen. People sometimes don’t know any better.” She shrugged. “Others ignore lack of compatibility or some red flags because of infatuation. They may know it’s not the best choice, but they like the way the other person makes them feel. Or they may idealize them.”

“The way they make them feel?”

“Yeah. Like, when they spend time together, or hug, or kiss.” Yanfei blushed.

Xiao looked away.

“I cannot imagine something like that can make you forget about everything else.” He paused. “Well, maybe spending time together.”

“Hugging or kissing also can make you forget about anything else. You’re just focused on the moment, and hear the other person’s heartbeat, and when kissing, you taste them-” She stopped, realizing she got ahead of herself. “Um, sorry, I said too much.”

“No problem.”

Yanfei, slightly embarrassed, checked if maybe their clothes were already dry. Nope, still wet. Not like she expected anything else.

“How exactly does one do it?”

She looked at him over her shoulder, befuddled.

“What do you mean?”

“Two people connect their lips, but what do they do to… taste each other, as you expressed it?”

“Well, they u-use,” she stuttered and cleared her throat. “They use their tongues. Put them into each other’s mouths and move them. You… never did this, gene… Xiao?”

“Is this so weird?,” he puffed up.

“N-no, it actually quite suits you… I mean, not like you aren’t capable of… What I wanted to say is-”

“Forget it, it’s nothing important.”

“No, it’s going to be pretty awkward if we leave it like this. Hey, look at me!”

“Wait, what-”

She took his face in her hands and looked at him carefully. Thin, straight eyebrows. Narrow, birdlike pupils. Clearly visible cheekbones. Lips, on the other hand, not really visible, forming a straight line. Pointed chin. Everything in him was narrow, thin and angular. It wasn’t a face that screamed “Come to me, I don’t bite!”.

He twitched a bit, almost unnoticeably. Yanfei looked again at his eyes, this time actually looking into them. She could swear they were a glowing liquid, changing how they looked all the time, but so slightly it was hard to tell it for sure.

They’re like living gold, she thought. A very beautiful and… scared gold?

Was it possible?

Yes, she was sure. It was hard to notice, but from this distance – there was almost none – she could tell for sure she saw fear in his eyes.

General Alatus, Vigilant Yaksha, was… scared? But… that time he accepted death, how could he be scared in this situation-

Oh.

This made sense.

This made a lot, a lot of sense.

Most people were afraid of death.

Xiao was afraid of life.

She came closer to him, screaming in her head what she thought she was doing. Three centimeters between their lips? Two? She could feel his slightly uneven breathing on her skin.

“Can I?”, she asked.

Time is a relative term. A few seconds can feel like an eternity.

“You can.”

One centimeter. Sudden realization.

“Do you want it?”

“Didn’t I just-”

“These are two different things.”

Even more long, so long seconds.

Yanfei was sure he would turn his head from her if she didn’t hold his face. She felt pressure on her left hand and Xiao’s body turned a little to his right, all of this just for a moment. He restrained himself from listening to his impulse. Warm on her hands. Red on his face.

Opened mouth, no words.

Closed mouth.

Opened mouth.

“Yes, I do.”

She couldn’t refrain from smiling as she pressed her lips against his lips. He leaned back in the first moment. Then he leaned forward and returned the kiss.

Yanfei’s head was both perfectly empty and full at the same time. She didn’t think about anything. And yet, a lot of small sensations, pictures and single words were constantly appearing and disappearing somewhere in the back of her mind. She had no idea what they were all about. Too much. Too short. Too easy to forget, too hard to focus on them, on any of them. She needed to find one thing she could give all her attention.

She run her fingers through Xiao’s hair, trying to put her mind in order. What do you feel, Yanfei, what do you feel? Messy. Relatively long. A little prickly, but still softer than she would have thought. Pleasant to touch.

Yanfei felt something wet on her lips. She stared at the yaksha through half-closed eyelids. Her body understood faster than her mind. She opened her mouth, letting Xiao’s tongue in.

Safety. If safety had a taste, it would taste like him. Every time one of them was making a distance for catching their breath, the second one was almost immediately drawing them back. You can’t live without air, but sometimes you need something else just as much. Yanfei was feeling unbearably empty and miserable every single second wasted for such a prosaic activity as breathing, as if someone during every single breath was snatching a little part of her, a part that she will never regain, so many seconds during which her lips could be on Xiao’s lips lost irreversibly. She felt at home. She was at home.

Between one small kiss and another, a quiet moan leaved yaksha’s mouth, resulting in shivers on Yanfei’s skin and tingling heat between her legs.

And then Xiao moved away.

Yanfei, all of a sudden feeling extremely cold, looked at him in confusion.

“What’s the matter?”

“I… don’t want you to get affected by my karma.”

That clearly wasn’t the main reason, but she went along with it.

“I’m half an adepti beast, I can assure you this won’t be such a big problem. And we’re both here till the morning anyway.” She put her hand on his nape. “Look at me, Xiao.”

He looked at her over his shoulder, just for a moment. However, it was enough for her to see his face.

“You know you don’t have to make up excuses, right? We can act like nothing happened.” She really didn’t want that, but she knew that was the right thing to say.

“That’s not the matter,” Xiao sounded harsher than she would expect. “Just…” He softened up, as if he realized that. “Just… I guess I’m embarrassed.”

“There’s no reason to be.”

“I know! I know, but anyway…” He lowered his head.

Yanfei remembered how vulnerable he seemed in the Chasm when he fell asleep. She caught just a glimpse of him back then, but how Xiao looked now made her think about that moment. He looked… exposed? Naked? Not in the literal sense – even though she couldn’t deny both of them, technically, didn’t have too many clothes on right now. His heart was on his hands, and all emotions on his face.

Yanfei couldn’t help herself. She kissed his clavicle. He looked at her, surprised, but she didn’t withdraw and kissed his neck, just above Adam’s apple. Then she left another kiss on his jaw, then on his ear. She bit it gently.

“So what did you decide?” she whispered.

She felt his fingertips unconfidently going down her back.

“I’ve never exactly had a chance to…”

He didn’t finish, but she decided to not press him to state the obvious.

“That’s okay.”

Yanfei pressed gently against his chest, making him lay down. She then straddled him, making no comment about the hardness she felt through their underwear as she sat on his groin. She bent down and bit his collarbone. He whimpered. She traced patterns of kisses down his torso, resting her hands  on his chest and sometimes rubbing his nipples, just to see if she gets any reaction.

Xiao was quite good at restricting his emotions, she knew that much. She has also learned already that the key word was “quite”, and therefore she could see the slight blush on his cheeks and his wandering eyes as he was biting on his lower lip.

“You don’t have to look if you don’t want to. Wait a moment.”

A piece of material from Xiao’s clothes was already dry.

“Close your eyes.”

When she tied the scarf behind his head, Yanfei came back to what she was up to earlier. After spreading his legs and lifting them up a little, she proceeded to leave a lot of wet kisses on his inner thigh. A high-pitched sound of surprise left his mouth as she tugged at his skin and sucked on it, leaving a hickey. Yanfei giggled.

She looked up at him, pleased with the fact he actually seemed to calm down a little, his muscles not as tense. Maybe covering the eyes was actually helping him be less conscious about himself.

Her lips came closer to the edge of his underwear. She touched with her finger the place where the material got wet with precum and teased it a little. Xiao pressed his lips together in a thin line and dig his nails into the ground.

“I’m pulling it down,” Yanfei stated in a soothing voice and slowly uncovered his throbbing member. Xiao instinctively pulled his legs closer to him. “U-uh, show me.” She pressed on his thighs and, after a moment, he reluctantly opened them.

Yanfei took his girth into her hand and squeezed it, then left a single kiss on it. After laying down next to Xiao, she embraced him with her left arm, bringing him closer to her as her right hand fondled his balls, pressing and caressing different spots. She kissed his ear, then her lips went to his jaw and down to his neck.

“I feel… kinda weird-” The sentence was cut off with his whimper as she bit his Adam’s apple.

“Everything’s alright, I’m here.”

Her hand went lower for a moment, to tease the stretch of skin between his balls and anus, before coming back up and moving to his erection. She gently teased the tip with her fingertips, getting a muffled moan out of Xiao, then spread precum on its whole length. She put her left hand behind his head and pulled him in for a greedy kiss as her right hand was moving fast up and down at the base. The thunder in the distance wasn’t enough to drown out all the quiet moans. Their tongues massaged each other, and their hands were wandering aimlessly on each other’s hot bodies, making them tremble.

Yanfei again got on the top of Xiao, hovering over him on all fours, and slapped his hand as he moved it to uncover his eyes.

“Not yet.”

She took off her bra and tossed it aside. She leaned closer, her breasts touching his cheeks and nose. He twitched.

“Open your mouth, Xiao.”

He obediently took her hardened nipple into his mouth and sucked on it.

“Use your tongue, please.”

She rested her hands on the ground, letting him slowly figure out the details himself. At first she barely felt anything, as he sucked gently, not wanting to hurt her. As the seconds have been passing, he began to do it in a more greedy, confident way, lifting his head to get more of her body into his mouth, his tongue making circles around her nipple and teasing the bud. He bit it gently once, and as Yanfei squealed, she could swear he chuckled, as if proud of himself that he got out of her the same reaction as she did earlier when she sank her own teeth into his flesh.

He shyly put his hands on her butt. They wandered up and down, and in circles, and as Xiao repeatedly squeezed her cheeks, Yanfei felt as if he tried to fit them whole into his palms. She moved a little higher, giving him a better access. Her groin tingled every time his fingers brushed against her folds. A part of her wanted him to already focus his attention on that part of her body, but the desire to drag it out won.

She could practically feel Xiao’s uncertainty as his hands stopped for a moment before they went under her underwear, massaging and folding her cheeks. His moves became more rapid, his breathing sharper, the whimpers bolder, and the suction on her nipple started to feel desperate. She closed her eyes, savoring the sensations.

She felt weirdly special, almost rewarded, having him completely focused on her.

Suddenly, he dig his nails into her flesh and bit her breast at the same time, which didn’t feel intentional at all. She yelped, and he leaned back. There was an outline of his teeth around her nipple.

“I’m sorry. I think I- I’m sorry.” Xiao took the scarf off his eyes and gazed at Yanfei. Then glanced at her breasts. Then back at her.

Confused, she looked behind her. It took her a moment to process what some whitish liquid on his abdomen meant. She burst out laughing.

“I’m sorry,” he repeated sheepishly.

“No, I am the one… to apologize… I shouldn’t… laugh.” After composing herself, she hugged him. “Don’t worry, it happens sometimes. It’ll take some time before you can get it up again, though. I guess you got excited a little too much.”

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled vulnerably into her arm, making her heart skip a bit.

“Don’t be.”

“Can I… do something for you?”

Yanfei looked at him in surprise.

“What do you mean?”

“Something to make you feel good in the meantime.” He ran his fingertip between her legs, making her twitch. “Can you show me how you like to be touched here?”

Astonished by this sudden forwardness, Yanfei blushed.

“You don’t have to…”

“I want to. Please, show me.”

“Well, just touch through the material for a moment, okay?” she said, looking away, out of nowhere weirdly conscious about her body.

“It’s wet,” Xiao commented, as he shoved his hand between her thighs.

“Of course it is.”

Now he blushed.

She rested her hands on Xiao’s shoulders and closed her eyes for a moment. The tingling came back, and she quivered, feeling his slender fingers carefully massaging up and down, together and then splayed, as if asking where she wanted them the most. Relaxing and electrifying at the same time, it made Yanfei moan into Xiao’s ear. He put his other hand on her breast, fondling it.

“That’s nice.”

“I’m glad to hear it.” She could hear a smile in his voice.

“Wait a moment.”

Yanfei slid the last piece of her clothing off. Xiao, hesitantly, grabbed her thighs and made her come nearer. He brought his face closer, getting between her legs, and parted her folds with his fingers. There was something arousing about his intense gaze, something peaceful about the way he studied her closely. Yanfei felt exposed, but in a weirdly comforting way.

“Tell me if anything feels unpleasant.” He paused. “And also if something feels pleasant, please. Guide me.”

He slipped his tongue in. Yanfei put her hands behind his head and neck for keeping her balance. A fade smile couldn’t leave her face, nor could do so the slight blush on her cheeks, as he gently explored one of the most vulnerable parts of her body. His breath tickled her a little, and she was more conscious of every move of his tongue than she would expect.

“Good job. Could you go a little higher, please? There’s this nub…”

Yanfei didn’t finish. The pressure on her clit made her grab his hair. His tongue encircled her sensitive spot before teasing it directly again. She felt weaker in her knees.

“Yes, the-ere,” she stuttered.

Xiao’s hands went from her thighs to her butt cheeks and squeezed them. She chuckled, putting her own palms on the back of his hands.

“You seem to like this place.”

A muffled sound of firm agreement came from between Yanfei’s legs, and she giggled again.

Xiao sucking on her delicate parts and tasting her juices. Her breathing becoming heavier. His lips enveloping her clit. Her hand pulling his hair. His tongue delving in, being lapped in her flesh. It was hard to keep quiet. Not like she wanted to. If anything, Yanfei didn’t want anything else at that moment as much as letting him know she felt good and that was thanks to him. A mixture of moans and words of approval left her mouth.

A familiar, dizzy feeling. The nearby bonfire started to look blurry.

“Wait a moment.” She moved away.

“What’s the matter?”

She didn’t answer instantly, feeling a wave of heat in her groin as she saw his face – weirdly innocent in that moment, watching her so attentively – covered in her juices.

“Uhm, I think I’m about to…” She didn’t finish.

His pupils dilated.

“Oh.”

She looked behind her.

“It looks like… you’re ready. And I would like to come together, if that’s okay. Or at least try to do so.” She realized something. “Oh! And I’ll go to doctor Baizhu tomorrow, don’t worry.”

He blushed as he understood what she meant, and nodded.

“Okay then. Let me… sit.”

Yanfei wrapped her hand around his erection and positioned herself. Xiao tensed in anticipation. She slowly lowered her body.

“Okay.” She breathed out, as she felt him inside her, getting used to the both pleasant and overwhelming feeling. “I’ll start slowly.”

“Do it the way it suits you.”

She smiled, all shy out of nowhere.

“You don’t have to be so serious.”

“It’s about you feeling good. Of course I’m serious.” His tone startled her. And these eyes – these gold eyes – seeing right through her.

“Thank you. Try… to enjoy it, too.”

He looked away.

“I will.”

Yanfei started moving her hips up and down, slowly, at first barely getting up. She rested her hands on his stomach.

“You’re a really considerate person, Xiao. Thank you for that.”

He looked at her, befuddled.

“I’m afraid I don’t understand.”

She smiled.

“Just come here.” She spread her arms in an encouraging gesture.

Xiao sat up, and Yanfei wrapped her limbs around his torso. She crossed her legs behind him. He hugged her around the waist and nuzzled the soft spot over her collarbone.

“You smell nice.”

Her heart melted. For a longer moment, she just tightened and loosened her muscles, barely moving her body. She wanted to fully enjoy this moment of closeness. The sound of the storm was now weirdly calming, and the dim light of the bonfire was enough for her to see his body, and that was more than enough.

Yanfei started making bigger movements. Xiao inhaled sharply.

“You know, I really enjoy holding you.” As she said that, she could swear his member became bigger inside her.

“Stop saying all these things. They’re… embarrassing.”

She couldn’t see his face, nestled in her neck, but she could feel the warmth emanating from it.

“But I want you to know I really appreciate the fact you let me do it with you. I think you’re a really nice person, Xiao.”

“Stop it.”

“And it’s so cute when-“

He didn’t let her finish, pressing his lips against hers. He traced the outline of them with his tongue. She opened her mouth, giving him an entrance. He groaned, and she felt as if lighting went through her body. She started to draw patterns on his back with her fingers, sometimes opting for nails instead. As she did so, his kissing became more sloppy, the swirling of his tongue around hers grew to be more messy. Yanfei noted in the back of her mind he seemed to particularly enjoy her touching him there. Quite unexpected. Maybe she would comment on it if her mouth wasn’t too busy with something else.

She moved faster, and Xiao also started to thrust his hips into her, consciously or not. He ran his fingers through her fair, and tried to pull her closer to him, even though that was impossible. They couldn’t get enough of each other, their reddened lips sealed together. Yanfei felt his tongue once barely inside her mouth, once deep inside it, just the way his erection thrust in and out of her. All these feelings would absolutely make her call the names of archons, if not the suspicion bordering on certainty that the yaksha wouldn’t appreciate that.

She was close. At that moment, she didn’t care whether she embarrasses herself or not. She was moaning into his mouth, her hands wandering on his back.

She saw gold sparks, gold just like his eyes, and she hugged him tightly, euphory filling her body.

“Xiao…”, she whispered weekly his name.

He sucked on her swollen lower lip and left a trail of kisses on her neck. He grabbed her hips, helping her move. His breath was uneven.

He groaned and threw back his head.

They slowly stopped moving. Tangled together, they breathed heavily into each other’s mouths.

It took them some more time to notice that the storm stopped quite a while ago.

[mervardent]

Look, I'm a rather casual fan of Wanderer (meaning I really like his character, his development, lore and so on, but I'm not as passionate about him as certain characters) but let me suffer the wrath of the rock if I lie when I say that throughout the whole third act of the Simulanka event I was like "that's my babyboy, he's grown so much" with a shit-eating grin on my face.

[mervardent]

why on earth people still saying things like "xiao and venti don't know eachother". guys, we have an event, xiao's backstory, "endless suffering" trailer. you can dislike the ship, but you can't ignore actual canon things.

[mervardent]

"Your ship will never be canon!", witch which one?

"how can you multiship?" well you see honey, when two people love each other very much and neither of them is real...

[mervardent]

About Natlan characters

People who somehow twist the situation with Natlan characters and call people wanting more diverse and accurate characters racist blow my mind, so here's me answering some of the most common arguments I see.

"They're Chinese devs! Chinese prefer light skin tones"

My brother in Christ, this is called colorism (prejudice or discrimination against individuals with a dark skin tone, typically among people of the same ethnic or racial group). Yes, it is common in China. No, it isn't good or excusable. Colorism being such a thing in China explains why it is like this, it doesn't excuse the devs. Plus... you realize it's not like all Chinese people have such light skin tones, right? The problem of colorism touches various Chinese people themselves, it's all about these unachievable beauty standards. Colorism isn't a preference, it's a prejudice.

"Chinese players pay the most money and they prefer light skin tones"

i already explained why colorism isn't an excuse. Again, what you say is true but it only puts things into a perspective, it doesn't make the situation good. Plus not gonna lie, the whole idea that people other than the CN server cannot express their opinions is ridiculous to me. All players are consumers. All players add to the success of the game, whether with their own money or being free advertisement to their friends. Taking the money of all your players but only opinions of some of them is condescending and money-hungry. You don't want opinions of people from other regions - don't even have servers in them in the first place.

"They'll lose money if they make more playable characters with dark skin tones"

If they'll make them as weak as Xinyan, Dehya or Candace - yeah, people won't roll for them. If they were good in gameplay and meta, however - I'm sure people would use money to get them. And really, the argument about losing some money by a company that is worth literal billions? There are characters with light skin tones that don't sell too well, and somehow Hoyoverse didn't go bankrupt because of one or two worse banners, shocking. Lastly, do you seriously think some CEOs' paychecks are more important than people's cultures?

"All you care about is skin color, you racist!"

Nah, I care about good representation. The ones who don't allow a few darker characters are the racist and/or colorist ones.

"You want all characters to be dark, but there are people from these regions in real life who have light skin tones too, you racist!"

Yes, people from these regions have different skin tones. That's the exact reason why there should be characters that have light skin tones, a little darker skin tones, even darker skin tones... Who said we cannot have a diverse cast? Who said adding a few characters with dark(er) skin tones means removing characters with light skin tones? How does their existence invide your personal space?

"There is no Mesoamerica/Egypt/India/insert-here-another-region-or-country in Genshin, they don't have to be accurate"

Oh yes, the "have cake and eat it" argument. So they take very clear inspirations from the real world (including calling characters after deities) but in this one very specific, heavily prejudiced aspect they choose not to, you say? And they can be very faithful to the culture they take inspirations from, especially if it is their own culture, but then they act carelessly with other ones, you say? And Genshin regions inspired by Asian and European regions are based each on one country (Mondstadt - Germany, Liyue - China, Inazuma - Japan, Fountaine - France, Shneznaya - Russia) but then they merge a few different cultures with Sumeru and Natlan, you say? Interesting. Totally not because of orientalism and colorism, not at all.

"They don't want to/cannot make these characters more accurate"

Then don't make regions in your game based on specific, existing in real life regions or countries. You cannot or don't want to do them justice? Don't use them.

"You said color doesn't matter when they made The Little Mermaid black, heheh"

First of all, your memeing skills suck, I've seen one and the same unoriginal, boommer-core meme like twenty times during my small research, do better. Second, you're fighting with an enemy you've imagined. I, for example, think about the "color doesn't matter" argument as wishful thinking because, unfortunately, we live in a world where it has mattered for a long time. You create your own enemy (because let's be real, you use we vs. they thinking here) and fight with this imagination instead of actually discussing. Third, you use a manipulative technique in which you make the discussion unproductive by making it about a way bigger issue instead of the one it should be centered on: Natlan (and Sumeru) characters. Fourth, there are various historical reasons why blind casting sometimes works and sometimes not, but that's a discussion for a different time. Fifth, let's be real, you haven't watched the new Little Mermaid anyway.

"Jeez, there should just be a Chinese server/there should only be Asian servers"

Depending on who writes this argument, it's either racist, xenophopic or oikophobic because of assumption people of certain origins, nationality, race or ethinicity cause a problem as a result of their origins, nationality, race or ethinicity. And it's not like Hoyoverse had to make these servers. They wanted to. Don't act like they're victims when they literally chose to have money of players from non-Asian regions. And don't act like all people from certain servers think the same.

"Characters from desert regions are/will be darker, these characters are from (a) forest region(s)"

We certainly don't live on the same planet, cause where I live people don't get a little darker only when they live in a desert area. Look at some tribes from the Amazon Rainforest, just as an example. And even look at NPCs in Sumeru - why this flawed logic that characters living in the forest are light-skinned is applicable only to the playable characters? NPCs have more varied skin tones than the playable characters. Because colorism.

tl;dr Don't act like it's anything else than a corporation being money-hungry and colorist.

[mervardent]

Venti and Zhongli are two tops fighting over who will top, with Venti usually winning.

Furina and Neuvillette are two bottoms fighting over who will not top, with Neuvillette usually losing.

[mervardent]

You guys are commenting on the fics you read right? You’re at least leaving kudos on the Astarion smut and the pairs that have less than 20 fics for them too? You’re bookmarking stories you really like that are still being updated and ones that haven’t been touched in over a year right?

You know that even the smallest interactions are like cocaine to fic writers right? You understand how important a string of emoji hearts left behind on chapter at three am is right?? Right????

You’re treating AO3 like a community and not a content factory….right?

[mervardent]

it's my birthday, so i drew rizzley🐺✨

[mervardent]

And the butterfly flew over their heads

Nick on AO3: MervArdent

Ship: Hu Tao/Xiao

Characters: Hu Tao, Xiao, mentioned: Liyue&Inazuma characters, Traveler, Paimon

Tags: fluff and angst, angst and humor, angst, angst and romance, angst and feels, teasing, character's death, bittersweet ending

Xiao was sitting on the roof of Wangshu Inn when he saw Hu Tao in the distance. It wasn’t the first time when she played hide-and-seek with Dusky Ming while he was silently watching. With his duties as an adepti, he couldn’t always give the ghost girl all the attention she needed. He appreciated how Hu Tao was taking care of her from time to time.

Ming chuckled, revealing her location.

"Gotcha!" Hu Tao jumped over the bushes and started chasing Ming. One chuckle joined the other.

Xiao smiled a little.

The director stopped. She turned back to Wangshu Inn and looked at it. At its top, to precise. He knew she couldn’t see him, not from this distance and through leaves. Did she somehow sense his presence? Or maybe just some random thought appeared in her mind?

"Xiao."

Should he come to her? Or rather... did he want to come? Well, maybe, just a little…

"Xiao, I know you’re there."

He teleported next to her.

 "You called?"

"Aiya, I didn’t think you’re actually at Wangshu Inn. Have you finished your patrol?"

He crossed his arms.

"Was that a bluff?"

"Of course it was! But you’re asking about the I know you’re there or the I didn’t think you’re actually here part?"

He sighed.

"Why did you call? Does Ming need something?"

She looked at him with sparkle in her eyes.

"Can’t I just want to see you?"

He turned around.

"Well, just remember to return to the inn on time. It starts to get dark."

"Hey, don’t go away just like this!" She pointed her finger at him. "If you don't want something bad to happen to me so badly, let’s go there together! You can’t say no."

"I can."

"Nanana, I can’t hear you! Bye, Ming, we’re goiiing, byeee!"

She grabbed his arm and started walking vigorously to the inn. It was sudden enough to almost make him fall over. Practically imperceptible fraction of a second of weakness. Xiao caught up with her in a blink of an eye. He could just teleport both of them, he knew it and so did she, but he let her take the lead.

"How long are you staying here?"

"For tonight. No, for breakfast. Unless I get kicked out during the campaign. In that case, I'll take the takeout."

"Campaign?"

"You know, I’m here in the first place to advertise Wangsheng Funeral Parlor. It’s dangerous here, after all! People want discounts on our coffins!"

"I don’t think so."

"And that’s why I’m the one thinking here!"

"I’ll tell Mrs. Goldet you’ll need a takeaway."

"Aiya, why you don’t believe in me?"

He believed in her, just… not in this matter. But he couldn’t say it.

"Because of how you act."

"Oh, how do I act?"

He shook his head.

"We’re almost there. I can’t show myself near humans."

She grabbed his cheek. He didn’t flinch.

"Don’t change the topic, it’s annoying. Only I can do it!"

"You’re the annoying one."

"But you like me." She smiled mischievously.

"Despite this, not because of it."

"Sure, sure, say what you want."

"I really need to go."

"Answer my question first. How do I act?"

He sighed. This woman…

"Recklessly. Childishly and then seriously out of a sudden. Loudly. Unbearably."

"Hey, don’t you have any nice words? You should know some after all these years!"

"Well, you’re entertaining and humorous, does it count? Now I need to go."

Xiao didn’t wait for her response. He spent the rest of the night at his place, except for the moment he left a note to prepare Hu Tao takeaway food. Before the yaksha felt asleep, he watched the night sky in silence. At some point he raised his hand to his cheek – because of a reason unknown to him.

As he expected, Hu Tao needed to go back earlier. The guests didn’t really like her campaign. However, for some reason she didn’t take the takeaway, and Xiao cared about this fact a little more than he expected. He brushed it off and returned to his duties.

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm giving you company."

Xiao turned his head. The Lantern Rite was about to start. Since he came here in the first place, he wanted to enjoy it, not miss it because of some pointless conversation. She wouldn’t come back anyway.

"Who told you I’m here?"

"A friendly little ghost." Hu Tao sat next to him, on the bare ground. The city was perfectly visible from the hill.

"This was a serious question."

"And this was a serious answer."

He knew it wouldn’t make any sense to keep asking. They were just sitting in silence, looking out for the first lantern wandering in the sky. The grass smelled a little more intense than usual, the insects were making slighty louder noises.

They weren’t that far from the city, yet it looked like some separate ecosystem. Or rather… Xiao saw a few times this kind of souvenir looking like a glass ball with some small buildings and figures inside it. When you shook it, the tiny pieces of paper looked like falling snow. Liyue Harbor from this perspective, with its colorful lights, ships looking like toys and small, blurred silhouettes reminded him of this souvenir. All it lacked were these pieces of paper.

Which soon appeared. First, he saw only a few flying lights, far enough to mistake them for stars if they only didn’t move. In a moment, there were dozens, hundreds, maybe even thousands of lanterns in all possible shapes.

"It was the Traveler."

He looked away from the sky and peeked at Hu Tao. Her eyes were focused on Liyue Harbor, the body relaxed. A peaceful aura surrounded her.

"Paimon, to precise. The Traveler, as always, wasn’t talking much. This overgrown dragonfly is physically unable to keep her mouth shut when she actually wants to."

His gaze returned to the sky.

"Why a dragonfly of all things?"

"No idea. It was the first that came to my mind."

Neither of them said anything else. Xiao flinched a little, when Hu Tao braided her fingers with him. However, she acted like nothing happened, so he decided to do the same. It was… a good Lantern Rite.

Carrying the sleeping Hu Tao back to her home was a little problematic, though.

At this point, their random meetings didn’t even feel random anymore. Everytime he, more or less consciously, wanted to see her, she appeared out of nowhere like a mist. In one moment it’s only you, you can’t sense anything, then – you notice her cape or hat. Maybe being around ghosts so often made her somewhat similar to them.

There were much weirder things in his life that he treated as something obvious and ordinary. He could as well add Hu Tao’s behavior to the pull.

"Sit down, sit down." Without any greeting, she patted the second half of the stone she was sitting at. He jumped on it after a second of hesitation.

The forest was excessively quiet. Not in a something dangerous is about to happen way, but rather just something is about to happen. Xiao found this scenario even worse. It’s harder to prepare for something without anything specific to it. You know you need to get your weapon when something dangerous is about to happen, but what should you do when it’s just something?

"What are we waiting for?"

"Huh? Are we waiting?" Hu Tao looked genuinely surprised. "Well, you could say we wait for the… how people call that?... the grim reaper?"

"Someone like this doesn’t exist."

"They don’t." She nodded her head in agreement. "It’s just a personification of human fears. It would be rather cool to have someone like this, though, don’t you think? A nice, all-knowing creature that helps you get to the other side."

"Aren’t you a person like this?"

"To some extent." Hu Tao pulled her knees up to her chin. "Say, Xiao, do you have fears like these?"

"You yourself called them human fears. For the adepti, death is something highly necessary, a redemption."

"So you’re kinda waiting for it, right?"

"Maybe. What about you?"

"Not much thought put into it. It will come in due time, whenever it will be." Hu Tao pointed to a branch of a nearby tree. "Finally," she whispered.

Xiao looked at it. He noticed a cocoon. Big, colorful wings teared it apart. A butterfly was slowly leaving its old home.

"So we were actually waiting for something, after all?" he asked quietly.

"I was waiting for the butterfly to come out. What were you waiting for, again?" Xiao couldn’t really tell if Hu Tao was serious or just joking. He looked back at the butterfly.

What was he waiting for?

"Look, it’s flying away!" Hu Tao stood up and tilted dangerously.

"Be care-"

She put her leg wrong. Before he thought about it, Xiao caught her in his arms. They fell on the moss and rolled a bit. Hu Tao landed on him.

"I expected someone like you to pay more attention to the surroundings."

"Sorry, sorry."

He thought she will immediately get up, but it didn’t happen. The wind blew slightly, and the butterfly flew over their heads. Hu Tao sighed.

"Is everything alright?" Xiao flinched when she raised her head a little – just enough to look at him, but still being unusually close.

"If I say no, will we stay like this?"

He rolled his eyes.

"Get off me."

"You can get me off yourself in any moment, you know? You’re stronger."

He knew it. He just didn’t want to admit that he liked it the way it was. And he knew Hu Tao was well aware of this. It was evident in her smile.

He hated that smile. He loved that smile.

Hu Tao leaned over him even more.

"Ta-"

"Let’s not think for a minute, shall we?"

His last thought was that she looked beautiful, and then he granted her request. He stopped thinking and began to feel. And it definitely took longer than a minute.

Who were they now for each other, exactly?

Xiao had no idea. That’s why he tried to avoid her and figure it out alone.

Obviously, he failed at this attempt.

Even more obviously, she wasn’t happy with all of this.

"Found ya!"

Xiao heard her footsteps earlier. However, he hesitated if he should hide from her once again. This second of thinking was enough for Hu Tao to catch up with him.

"It’s normal for me to be in Dihua Marsh, of course you would find me here sooner or earlier. Why do you look so proud of yourself?"

Hu Tao glared at the yaksha.

"Aiya, who said you can’t be proud of your small achievements? Especially when it was actually quite hard! I didn’t see you in ages. Is there any reason for this?"

Was she serious?

Xiao for a moment wondered if that night was just a dream. Maybe he imagined all of this? To be fair, the more time passed, the more it felt like it. Like some weird dream that was putting blush on his face every single time he thought about it. And he thought a lot, more than he would like to admit. Maybe he just ate expired almond tofu that day and his mind was playing tricks on him?

No. No way.

 He crossed his arms.

"Yes, there is a reason."

"Oh? And what is it?"

"You know."

"No, I don’t."

He scowled at her. She didn’t look as if it made an impression on her.

"You enjoy it?"

"Kinda." She got closer to him. "Tell me, how people are supposed to know what you want if you won’t tell them?" She backed away. "So, Xiao, what is the reason, again?"

He turned back.

"Forget it."

"Nah, I won’t. Gonna find you again and ask the same question. I have time."

"Not that much."

He shouldn’t say this. He really shouldn’t.

Silence hung between them. Xiao didn’t want to be there but… he didn’t want to leave it like this either. He just stood there, not sure what to say.

"Oh." Hu Tao took a few steps forward. She stared in Xiao’s eyes. He managed to not look away. "So this is the true reason. I knew there’s more to it."

"More to what?"

"Look, maybe I haven’t been living for two thousand years… but you don’t need to if you want to guess why someone avoids you after a situation like this. Especially when you know this person quite well. Honestly, I just wanted to hear you say it… At first, at least. After more though put into it, I was sure there’s another reason. So… the reason is time." She tilted her head slightly.

"You could say this. Humans life spans are very short, comparing to adepti."

"Oh, so you look that far to the future?"

"Why wouldn’t I?" Xiao snorted. "Why would I even think about… starting something like this without considering the possibility that it might last this long?  You should take things like this more serious."

"Yeah, probably I should. So… what do you want to do about it?" She pointed her finger at his chest.

He raised his eyebrows.

"What do I want to do?"

"It would be pretty selfish to make a decision like this myself when you would be the one mostly dealing with it. I may be kinda selfish, bu not this selfish."

He sighed.

"What about the karmic debt?"

"This isn’t actually a problem. You know my family can handle it better than most humans. Actually, I could even help you a little with it. And it’s not like either of us would leave our duties, we wouldn’t meet often enough for side effects to kick in." She put her finger to her chin. "Not everyone would be happy with something like this, but we aren’t everyone, are we?"

Xiao looked at her in silence. Several dozen years at best and she will go away. Did he really want to get so close with such a fragile being?

It will hurt. It will hurt no matter what he chooses.

Hu Tao was incredibly good at hiding her true intentions and emotions. And yet, Xiao was able to see something in her eyes. Uncertainty of tomorrow. Willingness to accept his every decision, even though it will be difficult even for her.

"We can try, I guess."

A big smile showed on her face.

"Good! It’s settled, then!" She had left a brief kiss on his lips before started jumping towards Wangshu Inn.

Hu Tao always looked younger than she actually was. That’s why it was easy to almost forget she won’t stay the same forever.

At that time, she had her first wrinkles caused by laugh and a few silver hairs here and there. As always, she just came unannounced. For some reason, through the window. Xiao later wished he had asked her why: why she was doing all these weird things that didn’t make any sense. Not like she would give him a satisfactory answer. Probably she just felt like it.

"Don’t get the window sill dirty." He looked up at her from the letter he was writing to this silly oni he once met. However, he had no illusions that Itto would read it himself. Xiao could see with his mind as he ran with the letter to his unofficial guardian. He smiled a little.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. There’s something more important!"

"No campaigns. Since Mrs. Goldet learned what’s between us, I get some scolding for you."

"Aiya, aiya, I thought we’re partners in crime!" Hu Tao sat at the sill.

"Since when?"

"Try to guess!"

He continued writing the letter.

"Boo, what a bore! I’m not here because of this, though. It’s about Dusky Ming!" She immediately changed her vigorous tone to a more serious one. "She’s ready to go."

Xiao looked at her again.

"How do you know?"

"She told me it! Plus, you feel things like this, you know? Wanna talk with her this last time?"

Xiao put down his writing tools.

"Yes, I want to. I’ll be there in a moment."

"Great! She would be really disappointed if you didn’t come!" Hu Tao jumped off the sill. Xiao heard her steps on the roof.

"Don’t hurt yourself!"

"Sure, sure," she answered, definitely without acting more careful in her mind.

 Xiao stood up. Well, he could treat this farewell as a preparation, right? Some practice. With every said goodbye the next one should be easier.

Who was he kidding?

She looked beautiful.

No matter how much her body has changed, she still looked beautiful in his eyes. It was his Hu Tao, even if time silvered her dark brown hair, added wrinkles on her face and some orange spots on her hands.

Honestly, the only thing Xiao hated was how he looked exactly the same. Why couldn’t they grow old together? After the end, was he supposed to pretend it was all just a long dream and move on? Cruel.

"Xiao."

He was sitting on the edge of her bed when she tightened her hand on his.

"Yes?"

"I feel like it will be soon."

He didn’t say anything.

"Could I have a request?"

"Of course."

"Have fun."

He looked at her with wide open eyes.

"Excuse me?"

"No don’t forget me or live for me nonsense here. I know you won’t forget and that you would take the second one as a duty. Just have fun untill we meet again, okay?"

He gulped.

"Okay. I will… have fun."

"Nice. I have no plans in returning from the other side, so better don’t give me reasons to haunt you. Understood?"

"Understood."

"Perfect. So… See ya."

"…See ya."

Hu Tao closed her eyes. Both of them knew she won’t open them. The peaceful look on her face somehow made him calm. He didn't stop squeezing her hand even when she relaxed hers. A stray black and red butterfly flew through the open window.

She looked as if she was sleeping. He wondered where she was right now. Already on the other side or going there?

The wind blew slightly, and the butterfly flew over his head. Xiao sighed.

"See ya."

[mervardent]

Did I impulsively finish my December/January W.I.P? Maybe. Do I still have to finish my February W.I.P? Who knows~