midnight-postit-notes

[midnight-postit-notes]

the banquet by rené magritte / “me and my dog” by boygenius

[midnight-postit-notes]

'Cause I'd never treat me this shitty / You made me hate this city / And I don't talk shit about you on the internet / Never told anyone anything bad / ‘Cause that shit's embarrassing, you were my everything / And all that you did was make me fucking sad

[midnight-postit-notes]

"How many times?

Lingering in

Doorways

On window sills

At bus stops

In parking lots

At street corners

Wondering

Why?

Why?

Why ?

Am I never enough for you?

Am I not enough?

When will someone finally

BREAK

And be afraid

To lose me for once

Instead of that role

Being filled by my

Weary feet and soul

Maybe next time

Next time

Next time..."

-Missing Opportunities

Thoughts on Love, Death, and Dying: Complications of Life

ari b.

[midnight-postit-notes]

"Last night

I saw a car on fire

It was burning

On the side of the road

At 3 am

As I passed it by

I thought of you

Burning brightly

But in a blur

I could never stop

To actually view it

Just like I never stopped

For you

You wouldn't have either

I'm just a stormy ocean

Beautiful to behold

But too dangerous to approach

You'd drown in my waters

And I wouldn't save you

It's alright

Just a passing phase

The ebb and flow of life

But I wish

You'd never said

Those things to me

Because they echo

Inside my head

Like that burning car

At 3 am..."

-Burning Cars and 3 a.m. Memories

Thoughts on Love, Death, and Dying: Complications of Life

ari b.

[midnight-postit-notes]

"So don't be

surprised that

When I grew

from toxic soil

And survived

violent air

That my roots are

twisted and marred

With sharp teeth

in my gums

bared at the sky."

-Venus By-Trap

Thoughts on Love, Death, and Dying: Complications of Life

ari b.

[midnight-postit-notes]

"I am the mother to my sadness

To my loneliness and grief.

Like a seed

They were planted in me

So long ago and have grown

I nurtured them and cared

For each and every moment.

Every hot tear and scream

I have carried and nestled into

My chest like a growing tumor

Vine and veins wrapped around

My heart and between my ribs

These are the only children I'll ever know

Watching them age

With a fondness and pain

That any mother watches

Their children age along in the world

But they will never leave me

They will always live inside me

And be by my side when I move on

As everlasting companions

Forever children in my death..."

- Life Companions

Thoughts on Love, Death, and Dying: Complications of Life

ari b.

[midnight-postit-notes]

On nostalgia for the present

sue zhao, dialogues on love// aron weisenfeld// joan didion, blue nights// alain de botton// andrés lozano// ada limon, 'before' from bright dead things// laurits anderson ring, at breakfast// jon kabat-zinn //via @shhhitsfine

[midnight-postit-notes]

when e.e. cummings said “i’ll live my life if it kills me”

[midnight-postit-notes]

Little Women, Greta Gerwig / fifteen, Taylor Swift / Persuasion, Leonard Campbell / Sky full of song, Florence + the Machine / Á nos amours, Maurice Pialat

[midnight-postit-notes]

"How terrible it is to crave

To desire

To hunger for love.

Like a desert waiting

For the rainstorms of summer,

But fearing the pain

Of endless possibilities,

Running cycles of unaccountable stories

Of how you could break my heart.

To be the ocean and the shark

Swimming unseen waiting to bite

Or drag me under and watch

As I drown unendingly.

That first step of vulnerability

Like a horror story

And I'm the unwitting victim

Peering around the corner

At the darkness unknown growing.

Who knows what waits for us all

Life is too short to be so cautious,

And yet,

It's the final girl that survived the massacre

While the rest are immortalized 

In black ink obituaries across the newspaper

With some sad story hashed in

Careless endearments to cheer on the crowd.

Can I really risk leaving my sanity like them?

Stepping into an unknown

Willing to swallow me whole

And laugh in my face

As I'm torn apart?

We might be stardust born and bound

Doesn't mean I want to spill

My blood and tears for

Sparkling promises that

You wish upon a star for..."

-Nature, Horror Analogies, and Star Dust Kisses

Thoughts on Love, Death, and Dying: Complications of Life

ari b.

[midnight-postit-notes]

Like blood stained teeth,

I'm a sharp pill to swallow.

But I'll shove myself down your throat,

If you'll just say

You love me

love me

Love Me

                 LOVE ME LOVE MELOVE ME 

                                                                             LOVE ME

love me

You'll die with my love in your mouth.

-Violent Rapture

Thoughts on Love, Death, and Dying: Complications of Life

ari b.

[midnight-postit-notes]

"Our tomorrows are not guaranteed and I'm tired of watching everyone around me waste their love on people who never return it back with the same intensity.

It's a dreadful feeling, like watching a car crash in slow motion from the side walk, or seeing the jumper take the step off the ledge and you are helpless in all but to watch it unfold.

How do they decide that this is what they want in life, without believing they deserve less than what they are worth? A suicidal heart taking the poison because being in pain and loved less than their worth is better to them than being at peace alone.

This world doomed us all when it taught us that love was what would fix our mistakes and fill in all our faults."

-Fools in Love

Thoughts on Love, Death, and Dying: Complications of Life

ari b.