mirrorofghosts

[mirrorofghosts]

[mirrorofghosts]

I never understood dying for love

Casting one’s life away for a lover

Whose touch they’d never feel again

How poetic it would be

To say I’d live for you

That you give me the breath of life

With every kiss

And a life without you

Is as close to death I come

Without dying

[mirrorofghosts]

Faded eyes like dying stars

Silhouettes behind the smoke

Bleeding lies that testify

I stare and watch you choke

Within this expanse

Of nothingness

Your shadows come to life

Burning you

Inside out

With a malice

Of evil designs

[mirrorofghosts]

SAVE ME

Hold me

Don’t let me drown

In the loud silence

You left in your absence

You’re sharp tongue

And bladed words

Left scars that

For one reason or another

Won’t ever heal

Maybe I won’t let them

Maybe they can’t

I don’t know

Who I am

What we were

Anything anymore

Maybe

It’s better I don’t

But the thought remains

It needs to die

So I drown it

In a swirl of alcohol

One

Two

Three

I stop counting after that

They go down like water

Trying to forget

Only for you to become more vivid

A dream that’s my worst nightmare

Screaming

Screaming silently

Save me

Save me from who I’ve become

I don’t want your memory

But I can’t lose myself

For you as well

[mirrorofghosts]

Dreamcatcher

I’ll catch you in my dream

Say goodbye for now

I’ll see you when I sleep

Wouldn’t it be nice

If I could be close to you

Tell me I’m right

Cuz if I’m wrong

I can take the truth

You don’t know me

How I know you

Only know the outside

Never let you into me

All that I bring with me

But somehow you can see clearly

[mirrorofghosts]

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Let go.

Fall into the feelings.

Fall into me.

Fall in love.

Fall into my arms.

Fall like you did before.

I promise, I’ll catch you

[mirrorofghosts]

If the reason is treason

Then I deserve to be hung

For all the times I jumped

For all the mutiny

For all the rebellion

If it truly breaks you

That I won’t come back

Because you poison the well

Because you make me sick

Because you fuck me over

If it’s for the best

That I lock the door

The words are knives

The knives are sharp

The sharpness scares me

If the reason is treason

Then so be it

I’ll show my scars

I’ll paint with red

I’ll make you silent

[mirrorofghosts]

Just a whisper

A candle in the wind

One breath

And it was gone

[mirrorofghosts]

I’d rather bleed from my own wrists

My own Scars

My own self-hatred

Than watch the world burn

And see you

Engulfed in the flames

[mirrorofghosts]

Journals

Somewhere between a dark place

And your arms

Rough around the edges that cut your curves

Broken in every sense of the word

But yet I remain strong

Hateful of the love you give to me

I wear a mask to hide the truth

Everything is taking over

Heading for a breakdown

I can’t count the amount of times

That I’ve almost fallen into you

But I can count the amount of times

That I never saw things through

Take everything you want from me

I’m done with sympathy

Hear the violins play

At the end of the symphony

Slow dances in the dark

Love beneath a thousand stars

Where do we go

When the edge seems far away

Lights are getting brighter

My world is fading out

This must be what it’s like

Trying to swim, only to drown

Blood stained hands

Wiping them off on your red satin skirt

Don’t feel a thing

Cause you can’t take on the hurt

Raining down ashes

Clouding your mind, your eyes are blind

To everything you’ve done

Who made you cold inside?

Somewhere between the twilight

And your heart

Pushed to the edge

There’s no telling how far

We would go to make this right

[mirrorofghosts]

Her

This not love from the heart

This is love from the soul

I knew I loved her the moment I met her

The thought of ever hurting her keeps me up at night

The thought of someone else hurting her makes me burn with rage

She is my light

My muse

My ache

My worry

She’s a part of my soul

It hurts so much to love her

It tears me apart

But it’s the best pain I know

And I’ll love her if it kills me

[mirrorofghosts]

I’m going to a place I don’t want to go

But I have to go

Because if I don’t

The tears won’t end

The pain won’t stop

I’m going to a place of joy

A place of suffering

Where I cried

Where I laughed

I’m going end the cycle

Of grief

That has trapped me for two years

I’m going home

And I will let my tears flow

And my anger consume me

Then my heart will be silent

To remember the memories

And the losses

All gained and none lost

It’s time to live and let die

I’m closing the book

And starting a new chapter

Because I need to

I want to

No more tears

No more nightmares

Silence

And no more tears

[mirrorofghosts]

The stars would be beautiful

If only I could see them

If I could open my eyes

And see once more

They dance like small fires

Amongst the black sky

And if only I could see them

One final time

But alas, my dear

Fate has other plans

And in the barren plain

Is where I shall rest

With no one to accompany me

Not even the stars

Because I can’t see them

Only the darkness of the beyond

[mirrorofghosts]

Home 🏙

[mirrorofghosts]

A Promise in the Rain

A mellow gray

That speaks a promise

Of exciting things

In the coming hour

But what?

I can’t tell

At least, not yet

Something tragic

I keep the news on

The rain promised

Something tragic

Or maybe not

Perhaps

A story

Of my own design

I don’t know

What to make of it

Something exciting

But the gray keeps

The excitement away

What magic could

I conjure

To make excitement from

Such dullness, lifelessness

Perhaps

It’s unseen

A shadow in the rain

Which should be

Impossible

I know

But maybe it’s still there

I tend to be blind

To nature’s little quirks

The forest

There, a moment

I must go there

The rain promised

To show me things

I can’t see

At least, not yet

I leave the news on

Just in case

But it probably

Will turn up empty

The forest

The promise of excitement

In the coming hour

Mother always

Keeps her promises

This, I promise

[mirrorofghosts]

Night

You can’t escape it

Not really, anyways

It consumes you

The numbness

The wide eyes

The screaming

And darkness

Movement

Like running on air

At lightspeed

Pushing you through

Like the roller coasters

I dread

Moving in darkness

Going straight

But not really

Anyways

You breathe with terror

Was it a crime?

Lunacy?

Your fears turn real

For a fleeting moment

Which feels like hours

Compressed into minutes

Time is nothing in

The Dreamtime

Or the hellish place they call

Nightmare

You are there

You might come out

Alright

But alright isn’t what keeps you

From going back

You can’t stop it

You can’t escape it

Not really, anyways

The flower is a landmine

I think I died last night

My enemy killed my lover

The stars disappeared

People lost their humanity

I lost mine

Nightmare

The shadow of the Dreamtime

Visions

Hallucinations

But you can touch them

Maybe

I don’t know

I haven’t tried

Helpless

Terror

Should I keep going?

It’s too much

Too fast

Too soon

Frozen in time

The clock keeps ticking

Frozen in place

Yes, maybe

Nothing is real here

Sleep

Need

Sleep

A man

Friendly

Wait

I have been here before

No

The end

Always the same

Here in Nightmare

Twilight of the Dreamtime

Farewell

Good Night

[mirrorofghosts]

Time

It’s time

My mind tries to tell me

To let go

But I won’t let go

The feelings

The overwhelming euphoria

Looking, staring into her eyes

That shine like stage lights

In the middle act

Never mind the name

Of the act, the person

More like the feeling

Buried under the intense

Pressure of my fears

Anxiety, and self-loathing

Springs from it’s grave

Like Lazuras, revived

My heart is on fire

I once knew this feeling

But being so long without

Has made it seem new

Even as I know

It’s not

It’s time

My mind tells me

To let go

I try to find something

That isn’t there

Or maybe it is

And I can’t see it

Or maybe I’m crazy

Maybe I’m seeing things

Feeling the way I want to feel

My feelings are lying, perhaps

But I know it’s not true

I felt these things

Another time

Another place

Another me

It’s time to let old things die

And make room for the new ones

New feelings

The old ones have died

New love

The old one has died

New life

The old one has gone

Freedom in my falling

I don’t reach for her hand

It’s time to let old things die

Rest in peace, my love

Adieu