mochachelle

[mochachelle]

Untitled- A Collaborative Voice

She undressed me with her words and proceeded to blow my mind With no protection she blindly entered my soul, and birthed a new space Tears fell from my eyes, it was the first time I was vulnerable first time I could feel love Standing there gazing in her eyes I knew what love and pain looked like However it felt like droplets of water on a warm day, with soft cotton, mixed with honey musk and reassurance... reassurance that she is a reflection of me My mirror in her eyes I could see All the things I failed to see before Visions and manifestations I never knew could come forth She is and will always be The woman of my dreams

[mochachelle]

False Reality

Slightly opened sheer curtains Natural kinks adorning her face Peanut butter skin with almond lips Fingers tracing stretch marks, leading to lustful treasures It's all for pleasure Even if she's content in his warmth This isn't home...

[mochachelle]

She

She took 15 years away from me She forced me to play the role of a mother She loved the taste of the pipe, so much so she sold me a few times for it She never showed me my worth, I had to completely break to pick up the pieces, cutting myself in the process She never dried these tears, now I no longer know how to shed them. She called me BITCH so often I thought it was my name She never said I love you, I had to find pieces of me to love I braved a hundred storms to leave, yet I still end up back in your grasp She is flawed, however She is my mother, so I love her through her pain so I can heal

[mochachelle]

#XD30- THIRTY- SCENT

I held your pillow It smelled like crushed cotton Misted with lavender Wrapped in musk Pressed my fingers to my lips Inhaled deeply single tear rolled down my cheek Rocked back and forth Repeated I love you over and over Waited to hear you Said my final goodbye before I let go I held your pillow

[mochachelle]

#XD30- TwentyOne-Lionel

It was a little after 4:30pm. I just finished running errands. Finally about to get some food, patiently waiting in the drive through line, my text message goes off.

HIM-what are you doing? HIM- come over and fuck me.! ME- right now? Can you give me like an hour? ME- I need to eat & go home to shower. HIM- yes now. I'll feed you. Shower here

Damn. I love a direct man. So you know what I did right. Shit, I hit a k-turn out the line, told him to send me his address and headed to my house. I didn't care what he said about showering over there I needed to wash at home. Y'all know the pre-sex ritual! The let me put smell good on. The let me look cute but not like I am trying. The let me throw a little makeup on, just not to much. The let me text my homegirls I'm about to be dicked down. The just in case you text me I won't be able to answer ritual. We all do it! I am not the only one, if y'all acting like y'all don't y'all fooling yourself.

ME- headed to you now. HIM- Okay. See you soon.

I arrived at 5:42pm. He opened the door, greeted me with a huge smile. He leans in for a hug. He smells so good. My eyes roll back in my head. I wanted to lick his face so bad. My god he is fine. I needed to keep my cool. Not act like a complete weirdo.

The time spent is going great, talking laughing having a few adult beverages. Positioning himself he turns to me with lust in his eyes. My whole undercarriage immediately got hot.

HIM- do I have you all night? I want you all night. all night long. 

I looked at my phone to check the time it was only 6:23pm. Now I'm thinking. Shit all night! I didn't prepare for an all-nighter. I didn't stretch for that.

ME- all night long? like lionel? I don't have any other plans. HIM- *licking his lips* great.

He takes me back to his bedroom. Turns on music, cause why not! Opens the window. Lights the blunt. We take turns puff puff and passing. We undress each other. Never taking our eyes off each other. He starts at my neck. Tracing my flesh with his tongue until reaching my lack thereof collarbone and bites me. I let out a sigh. My hands have been slowly caressing his head. Making his way to my right breast he engulfed my nipple. Who doesn't love a good nipple suck? I mean come on, that's clearly code for imma ride your face in a few mins. He makes his way to my left breast all while sliding his fingers in and out of my overflowing Bermuda Triangle (its paradise yet you can get lost from the power). He takes his fingers out and sucks them clean, (holy shit he’s a freak is what I am thinking) before placing his fingers in my mouth.

Four play as intense as it was lasted so long I forgot what time it was. I forgot if it was day or night. I forgot if I was at his place or mine. I forgot my damn name. I forgot how to speak and all my words have been replaced with sounds.

I eased from his face and made my way down to his member. I wanted to ride while he watched my ass bounce. He was pleased with his view and I was stellar at my performance. One would think I was an equestrian the way I rode him. In mid pussy pop I feel some substance on my lower back. He's rubbing it all over me. Looking back at him he had a tub of VASE-LINE rubbing it all over his chest with one hand and the other hand is rubbing it on my lower back and ass.

He proceeded to oil the both of us up we must have used the whole tub. It was like a scene of a hood porno, but he didn't have a fitted hat on or black sock and timbs! All oiled up I'm thinking what now. He pulls out a chair places it at the side of bed, sits down and tells me to face the bed. Bend over place my legs on the chair and come back on him!

NIGGA what?! How? I'm all oiled up, pretty chubby girl, but I'm flexible. However what he wants me to do will be rather complicated due to the fact he's oiled me up with like I’m a Christmas turkey. 

I wrap my mind around what he's asking of me. I get in position and go to work! I'm mid pussy pop, again I feel something on my ass cheeks this time is squirted. This mutherfucker now has baby oil. BABY FUCKING OIL. I'm trying to hold my balance but I'm slippery. Super slippery.

He finally needs a break, going to get a drink. About fucking time! I grab my phone to check the time. 12:43am my eyes got so big and I can't believe it. 6 hours and 20 mins. SIX FUCKING HOURS AND TWENTY MINUTES. That's a part time shift! I am flabbergasted, perplexed, confused and amused. He's walking back in the room like a warrior.

HIM- you ready for round 2 ME- ROUND 2 that was only round 1? HIM- I have you all night right ME- you have more oil?  

He smiles...

[mochachelle]

#XD30 -Eighteen-Pages of Her

she finally let go of him of the hurt of the pain she dropped her pen the pages is where she left her soul, letting traces of him go she vowed to shed ink not tears free to rebuild create from a new space the pages of her...

[mochachelle]

#XD30 -Seventeen- Lady

Nothing amused me more than people watching. I would take my lunch break in the park. Finding a bench, positioning myself and waiting for the show to begin. Each day the same familiar faces would walk by. Slightly smiling but never saying hello, but you knew it was hello. If you get my drift. Today I had action, today I seen a older lady, maybe around 5'5. Pieced together clothes that somehow worked for her. Dark curly hair with sun yellow tips, all pulled up through a polka dot scarf. She had on electric blue shoes. Lime green octagon shaped sun glasses and red lipstick. She sorted through her thoughts as if she was putting them into piles. In two piles. "Let's break that down." She said as she stood there looking at the ground. Perplexed yet? Well I was I watched her more, she had a certain cadence, she repeated these words three times. "This is everything, this is everything, this is everything!" As she looked from one invisible pile to the other back and forth her head went I usually never interrupt someone having a moment but I dialed my nosy factor all the way up so I finally asked "what is everything?" Without acknowledging me or looking away from her piles, "Life, life, life." You can imagine my level of amusement now. She's repeating herself in threes it must mean something. Naturally I wanted to know more. You would too right! "Ma'am what about life is everything?" Finally she looked at me, her eyes hazel yet had hint of orange. I've never seen such beautiful eyes before. Not to mention she had this peanut butter mixed with caramel complexion. She had my full attention. "letting inspirations fulfill emptiness, letting inspirations fulfill emptiness, letting inspirations fulfill emptiness" "This is everything, would you like to know why?" Hell yes I would like to know why. I've rose from my bench, standing about an arms length away from her. I am fully engaged and intrigued. "Yes ma'am, I would like to know why." She leaned in close, a little to close for comfort. She smelled like honeysuckle and cucumbers. Very strange combination I know, however welcoming and refreshing. "Each mind is beautiful, each mind is beautiful, each mind is beautiful!" She never broke she contact, not going to lie it was a little creepy. Okay it was a lotta creepy. She smiled, gathered her mental piles and walked away. Standing there I recalled the last few minutes. This interaction was at best only 7mins long but it felt so much longer. Maybe I just wanted it to be longer. Looking around I wanted to know if anyone else seen what I seen, heard what I heard. Nope, everyone was consumed with themselves. Walking back to my office debating if I would tell my coworker the wonders of the park or just keep it to myself. I repeated what the woman said, so much so that when I sat back down at my desk I wrote it out. Letting Inspiration Fulfill Emptiness "HOLY SHIT" I didn't realize I was yelling. She meant LIFE. Life is about letting inspirations fulfill emptiness. Meaning we tend to deplete ourselves and if we just live a genuine good life we shall find the inspiration to fulfill us again. WOW...

[mochachelle]

#XD30 -Sixteen-Representation

"Joli, stop flipping the channel" "Momma there isn't anything on" "There is plenty on" "Momma not anything I can relate too" Joli sat there flipping through all the channels four times hoping something would spark her interest. However that hope was never met! Turning the television off and turning the radio. She danced to the smooth sounds of Stevie Wonder. Dancing all the way to her room she passes a mirror in mid head swing her natural tresses danced across her forehead. She stopped, stood, smiled. In the reflection she noticed her sister watching her , she too was dancing. A valuable lesson learned that representation matters. Not just for herself, for the other beautiful melanin hues who's smiling faces light up when they know they can aspire to be anything! Joli danced and laughed with her sister for what seemed hours!

[mochachelle]

#XD30 -Fifteen-If I

If I shall die before I wake I hope you know that I gave you all of me All my flaws wrapped in a bow All my dreams in hopes to aspire you All my affection so you knew intimacy on another level If I shall die before I wake I pray your tears cleanse you I pray you smile through hurt I pray you know your eyes gave passage to your soul I could tell you needed to be FREE If I shall die before I wake I pray the lord my soul to take I've lived a fulfilling life I love you

[mochachelle]

#XD30 -fourteen-Lock & Loaded

locked & loaded Ready to release Climbed on top twirled on you until I exploded ... I'm CANDY coated Aroma lingers Juices on the tips of your fingers this ain't my first rodeo I just rode you tho.. Go another round I should lay down Give me that super dome Call this pussy home You in the zone ... Faded off that yack This here hand crafted from generations back Traces to the motherland Don't compare me to Ben and jerrys You sprung off my juices and berries...

[mochachelle]

#XD30 -Thirteen-Sensitive

You know I want you Pulling me close I push you away You want me out of convenience I want you for susbstance Tangible love doesn't come Boy you know im sensitive Opening this heart of mine wasn't easy Boy you know I'm sensitive You know I want you send me to voicemail, when I call Texting me back what's up I know you're with her You can't be my mine Tangible love doesn't come Boy you know im sensitive Opening this heart of mine wasn't easy Boy you know I'm sensitive Now I'm at your house Showing up at 2am Asking why, tears in my eyes Love isn't love if it returns to you voided Tangible love doesn't come Boy you know im sensitive Opening this heart of mine wasn't easy Boy you know I'm sensitive

[mochachelle]

#XD30 -Twelve-News

Sitting on the edge of my bed watching the news. Hoping my parents had fallen asleep! BREAKING NEWS "This just in, four men are on the run. For the murder of [redacted] they are considered armed and dangerous." "ARIA, get in here" Rising from bed, disbelief still in my eyes. Shit I knew my parents seen what i just seen! "Is that Calvin?" Pointing at the television. His face right there among the other three men! I swallowed super hard. Stood quiet for a few seconds. "See I knew WE didn't like him!" "Yes, that is him, but but but, we don't know if he had any involvement." My mothers face had the most perplexing look. "We don't know if he had involvement?" "Are you serious? They just don't put innocent people on the fucking news, for MURDER if they had no involvement." "See this is why your father and I didn't want you speaking with him, I never want to say we are better than any one else, but we better than this nigga!" I wanted to chime in, just tell her to hush, so I could get my thoughts together. She just went on and on. "Momma, I didn't do this, I'm not on the news. Why are you so mad with me?" "As your parents we worry, as your mother I worry. You could have been with him. Caught up." Caught up? What did she think I was. What kind of involvement would I have? Is she serious? All these questions running through my mind! "Caught up, momma? Really?" "YES. He's capable of anything! His parents didn't care about him, give him enough ASS whoopins. Had they, he wouldn't be on the muthafucking news, on the muthafucking run for muthafucking murder" She sounded like Samuel L. Jackson. However more annoyed and her vein starting to pulse in her neck! "Also you lied, you said he was 17. This is a grown ass man! He's 20, you're 16. So yes he would have had you CAUGHT UP cause you're acting stupid!" She rose from her bed. With an all to familiar look in her face! "I should whoop your ass, just cause you knew better getting involved with him." "GO TO BED" I leave her room quickly. If that Mr. Crab meme was around at that time I would feel just like him! Closing my bedroom door, sitting on the edge of my bed I started to cry! I had to silently cry! Do you know how hard it is to cry silently?! Hard as fuck! Crying is secrecy is like wishing for an ass whoopin if someone hears you! I crawled in my bed crying my soul out! Why? I have no idea I was 16, this was major. I was embarrassed for him, for myself! I had to go to school the next day face friends, see it on the front page of the paper! Arriving at school the next day, puffy eyes from crying all night. Dreading walking to meet up with my friends. "ARIA, oh my god, are you okay girl?" "Yes, I am holding up, thanks for asking Dria." I headed to the library having many more interactions with friends along the way! I see the paper. His face on the front page. My eyes filled up again! Why do I keep crying?! I have no clue! There was 7 day manhunt for him. I followed it everyday while reading the newspaper and listening to the news! My heart sank when I found out he finally turned himself in. He was being charged with Conspiracy to commit murder! My heart sank again! Why?! I truly have no idea. "You see the paper today?" "Yes, I seen it momma" "Conspiracy to commit murder, he conspired to commit murder, he willingly helped in trying to kill someone! Are you hearing me!" "Yes momma, but why the need to break it down?" "Why the need? WHY the need? Cause I want you to realize that someone like that never has your best interest." RING RING RING... "Hello" "You have a collect call from [redacted], do you accept the charges?" Holy shit he called me! Of all the people he called me. "YES" "Hello" "Hey Aria" "Hey, how how are you?" I had no idea my mother picked up the phone in the kitchen, before he could answer. "Who gives a fuck, boy don't call here no more, ARIA hang up now!" Phone clicks That was the last time we spoke. Until he was released from prison!

[mochachelle]

#XD30 -Eleven-Lights On

lo-lo-love keep the lights on undress loosen up this strap let my breast defy gravity they say thighs don't have expression yet these dimples show otherwise stretch marks are tiny roads to hide treasure navigate them well lo-lo-love keep the lights on follow the arch in my back rhythm in my thrust let me throw it back moans escaping lo-lo-love

[mochachelle]

#XD30 Ten-STRONG

in weakness I am strong in fear I am strong in doubt I am strong with clouded judgment I am strong WHY royalty runs through my veins the sound of drums in my stride a crown that sits upon my head years of suffering yet I have not been defeated -strong-

[mochachelle]

#XD30 -NINE- GOOD MAN

Kevin didn't want to go to another industry event! Convinced by his boys it would be different! However he knew that was a lie! They arrived, same routine. Check in with the promoter, head to VIP. Immediately popping bottles, calling over select women and turning up for the gram! Kevin just felt different he knew he would never find a good woman in these clubs. Beautiful yes, however intentions all the same. He knew deep inside he's a good man!He wanted to just zone out! The weed hit his system. Pulling his shades down, taking a sip of his drink. He set his eyes on a lovely lady! Being the musician he had a melody in his head. He pulled out his cell phone and let his fingers lead the way! You have your hips all in my face Body I want to taste Girl you're putting me in a good place I know it's all an illusion girl I've seen you do this before I wanna be a good man with all this temptation around me I wanna be a good man Set a foundation and start a family Now that liquor in my system, I'm about to stir some Shit up With your breast, small waist I know this ain't realistic You're just trying to make a come up I wanna be a good man with all this temptation around me I wanna be a good man Set a foundation and start a family Tell me how can I be a good man When all you wanna do is be a temporary thing Baby I'm not trying to play you, but how can I be a good man When all you want is a temporary thing Placing his phone back in his pocket. He smiled as he called the young lady over! "What's your name?" "Giselle" Thinking to himself, "until I settle down I can definitely enjoy all of this" as he looked Giselle up and down.

[mochachelle]

#XD30 -EIGHT- COLLECTOR

Maggie held her scars like treasure. Deep within the walls of her she had a collection of hurt! A rolodex of past lovers, judgements, criticism, lies and truth she ignored. Oddly each morning her ritual was to take a razor, use her arm like a canvas, and create a beautiful nightmare. The sting of the razor against her flesh was liberating. Maggie wiped the single tear from her eye with her finger, swiped it over the bloody flesh before ingesting it adding the salty treat to her collection. Moving through life on a wheel. A repeated cycle. Until one day she cut just a little deeper.No tears fell from her eyes! Only a gasp escaped her lips! Her final breath. She left a note behind and it read... -A COLLECTOR IS ONLY AS VALUABLE AS THEIR COLLECTION. TRUE VALUE IS IN THE PAIN.- MAGGIE

[mochachelle]

#XD30 -SEVEN- HARLEM

“Where is my black eyeliner pencil?”

I’m use to talking to myself, but my sister yelled from down the hall.

“IN YOUR DAMN PURSE”

“THANKS”

I grab it quickly apply the perfect mole, below my lip on the left corner! Taking a step back to check myself out one last time! I dressed in my favorite red lace dress, it stopped right above my knees. Pinched in the waist with a a little flare on the hips. It was perfect!

“HURRY UP, Willie will be here any minute to pick us up!”

Clara was always yelling! She knew how to be my momma or should I say try to be my momma.

“Okay, okay.!”

I grab my purse and head down stairs!

“Clara, why are you always yelling? You’re the only one who enjoys the company of spoon mouth Willie!”

“Annabelle, hush up now, and stop making fun of Willie!”

“Clara I told you about calling me Annabelle, just call me Belle”

“Okay Belle (you could hear the annoyance in her voice)”

Willie pulls up. I could smell him before he opened his door. Drowned himself in cologne trying to impress Clara! Those two just sickened me! However that’s my sister and I love to see her happy. Even if it’s with spoon mouth Willie!

He tells us he’s taking us to this sweet club down in Harlem.

“Harlem?”

“Yes my sweet Clara, Harlem!”

“Your sweet Clara, (I rolled my eyes).”

“Belle maybe if you weren’t so mean you’d fine a man that would call you sweet too!”

I was so tempted to call him spoon mouth Willie, I fixed my lips to say it. Clara looked at me and I decided not to!

“Thank You, thank you Willie for taking us out to a nice club you see fit for us.”

We walked in it smelled like eucalyptus, fresh rain water and smoke. I know odd combination but it worked! If you sit really still and adjust your eyes you’ll see the smoke start to clear.

Willie purchased some drinks for Clara and myself as I made my way to a table to sit! Something about being in Harlem just made me so excited.

I was an avid people watcher, lip reader and ear hustler! In lack of better words I was just plain ole nosy! I noticed a man, rather handsome he leaned down to a woman and I recognized him. I listened carefully and watched intently. It was Countee Cullen whispering in someone’s ear,

“Hey Black Child do you know who you are? Who you really are, do you know you can be what you want to be”

“Well yes I do” I say to myself as I take a sip of my drink! Countee I know it very well sir.

While listening I scan the room I couldn’t believe it, I see Nella Larsen as beautiful as can be walk the room over toward Langston Hughes. I directed my ears towards them to again listen.

“The trouble with Clara was, not only that she wanted to have her cake and eat it too, but that she wanted to nibble at the cakes of other folk as well.”

Well I giggled to myself, I knew it had to be another Clara cause my sister Clara only wanted one cake and that cake belonged to spoon mouth Willie!

Langston flicked his cigarette some ashes will land on the floor right next to your feet. He leans over, I’m thinking he wants to apologize. I was so ready to tell him “it’s okay love”, however he just matter of fact said.

“Tomorrow I’ll be at the table when company comes nobody’ll dare say to me "Eat in the kitchen”

What the hell?! Honey, you can sit at my table any time. No one better dare tell you to eat in the kitchen! I cant believe my eyes, ears and mind.

I’m in sensory overload and then you’ll never believe it. Just guess who walks to the stage. Zora Neale Hurston sashays to the stage. I had to shut my mouth to not look so surprised

She sips her drink touches her lips and these beautiful words spill from her

“Love, I find is like singing. Everybody can do it enough to impress themselves, though it may not impress the neighbors as being very much”

Well tip me over and pour me out, cause I’m about done now! Willie and Clara walk over to me. With the excitement on my face Willie leans in real close.

“Belle, how did ole spoon mouth Willie do?”

I couldn’t help but smile. I rose from my seat to give him a big hug!

“You did real good. I had no idea you knew I was a writer.”

“Clara told me, so I found this place, I knew it would please you!”

“Well I’m pleased! Listen Willie, Nella said something about Clara wanting everyone’s cake! You betta marry her soon!”

Glancing around the room I’m filled with excitement. I want to join in and speak and share some stories with these beautiful souls. No better place than Harlem.