moonbearva

[moonbearva]

Curious Polar bear (Ursus maritimus) standing upright and looking through porthole into the kitchen of arctic expedition ship M/S Stockholm in Svalbard, Spitsbergen, Norway by Andy Rouse               

[moonbearva]

Here Tumblr have this

-go tell @ exaltedfuzz that they have released a beautiful plague unto the earth

[moonbearva]

Look at this creature

[moonbearva]

i tried an edible for the first time and in a sloppy disjointed stupor i thought "What if Freddie Fazbear, but like, he is Bavarian???"

So I hope you enjoy my beautiful creation: Friedrich Faßbär. I included the raw png if you want to use his image for some... other purposes, i guess

[moonbearva]

Great to know our grandparents died keeping Nazis from crossing the ocean, only for our parents to give them the fucking keys.

[moonbearva]

[moonbearva]

You want to be Zoe Kravitz from X-Men first class:

I want cool bug wings. cool transparent bug wings that flap real fast. I want to fly around like a dragonfly. I've wanted this for quite some time and I thought I would share

[moonbearva]

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

You have reached the required conditions for acquiring your first familiar.

HOWEVER... There is a slight issue...

You gots no money. You know what that means, right?

You gotta go to the discount familiar store. Beggars can't be choosers, so it's basically up to chance which one you'll end up with...

Whichever familiar happens to be on the CLEARANCE_RACK at the time is what you'll end up with.

Once you've selected your familiar, you must now pick a stylish getup for them! Actually, a whole outfit would be expensive, let's just choose one singular accessory instead:

[moonbearva]

You are walking to your favorite food truck when suddenly?!?!? You are bitten by a radioactive cow!!!! Press this COW_BUTTON to find out what special attribute or unique abilities you gain!!!!!

[moonbearva]

The question was openly asked in our friend group:

"What would a 'Die Hard' porn parody be called?"

And there were responses like "Live Hard" and somebody found a real one called "Dick Hard". Also 'Die Hard' on its own is sufficient.

But I suggested "Die Soft"

When asked to elaborate how that works I explained "If you lose your erection... YOU DIE!"

So there was some speculation about how that would work, like is it some sort of constant edging situation?

And I had to further elaborate:

"THERE IS A BOMB IMPLANTED IN THE BALLS. IF YOU CUM, THE MUSCLE CONTRACTIONS SET OFF THE BOMB." You cum = explode

I then used this as a visual aid:

[moonbearva]

@i-identify-guns-in-posts can you identify this doodle I found? Or is it too silly? :^) <3

[moonbearva]

CHOOSE A POWER

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[moonbearva]

Regardless of the success of this video, I want an excuse to Photoshop Dagoth Ur into various outfits. If you like Gym Teacher Dagoth Ur, please suggest new outfits and/or situations you would like to see him in.

[moonbearva]

You are supposed to respond "YEEEEE-HAAWWWWWWW". Only then can his soul reach Valhalla.

howdy!

edit: of course they said howdy back!

[moonbearva]

Important news:

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