musingsandmaginations

[musingsandmaginations]

[musingsandmaginations]

The first steps of the editing process.

[musingsandmaginations]

Don

“Do you guys want pizza?” It was nearly eight o’clock. I didn’t know he was being serious, but hell yeah, I wanted pizza. I expressed as much, as did others. “What toppings do y’all want?” At that point, he was slowly making his way over to the nurse’s station where they kept our belongings. He had enough money on him for three pizzas and two 2-liters of soda. Cheese, pepperoni, hamburger. Pepsi and root beer. What he bought us was not just pizza and soda. He bought us pure joy, a luxury we didn’t have within our limited living space. He bought us normalcy, a reminder that a stay in a psych ward does not force you to embody any of its stigmas. We all thanked him. He cared more about our smiles and laughter; they were thanks enough.

[musingsandmaginations]

I wrote a really self-indulgent Stardew Valley fanfic about Sebastian and a trans guy farmer. Not really sure why I'm even posting it, but I am, so....here it is.

                  “Seb, where are you going?” Robin called to her son as he was about to leave their house.

                “For a walk,” he replied, never turning from the door.

                “Could you take this wood over to the farmer? I know he’s been extra busy this season what with his cows getting sick, so he may really need it.” The tone of her voice let Sebastian know this was not a request he could refuse.

                “It’s not really on my way, but I guess so,” he sighed. He took the basket his mom was holding out to him and walked out the door. So much for going to the beach, he thought. He began the trek to the farmer’s cabin, grumbling to himself all the while about how he’d have to take the long way to the beach. If he was lucky, it could be a quick stop to drop off the wood, and he’d still have time to make it to his thinking spot. Well, really, he’d want it to be a quick stop regardless of where else he was going. The less talking, the better.

It wasn’t long down that train of thought before he had arrived. Sebastian shifted the basket of wood he was carrying and knocked on the farmer’s door. “Hello? Mom sent me, she said you might need this…” He received no answer, so he tried the door. Finding it unlocked, he pushed it open and walked inside.

                “Hey, the door was open so I figured I could—whoa.” He stopped short when he saw the farmer sitting at his table, nearly dropping the basket. He was reading a book, dressed in pajamas, breasts clearly visible even in his loose-fitting shirt. “I, uh, I’ll just—”

                “Don’t. Tell. Anyone.” The farmer hastily tossed his book down and covered his chest. He turned to glare at Sebastian, but fear was evident in his eyes.

                Sebastian simply grinned. He set down the basket of wood and lifted up his shirt, revealing a binder underneath. “I won’t tell if you won’t.”

                The farmer’s expression quickly shifted to one of concern. “Dude, how long have you been wearing that? It’s late!”

                The other man chuckled. “Don’t worry, it hasn’t been that long. I didn’t have much work to do today, so I slept in.” Upon seeing no change in the farmer’s expression, he added, “A lot late.” Still no reaction. “Like, 12:30.” That earned a laugh.

                “All right then. Come in, sit down for a bit.” The now much more relaxed farmer offered a chair. Sebastian gladly took it, still a bit irritated from having to make the walk. He decided to put his plans for going to the beach on hold.

                “So, just to clarify, you’re…”

                “A trans man,” the farmer confirmed. “He/him and all that stuff.”

                Sebastian nodded. “Yeah, me too. So…binders are a pain, aren’t they?”

                The farmer let out a hearty laugh. “You’re telling me! Try doing farm work in one! I sweat so much, I’ve had to order in a couple more just so I can wash them every day!” The two men chatted about their shared experiences, time passing quickly without either of them noticing. Before long, it was midnight.

                “Shit, it’s late. I really gotta go. But…thanks. For trusting me.” Sebastian offered a small smile as he stood.

                “No problem. Same to you actually. Any time you wanna talk about this stuff, or just talk in general, you know where to find me.” The farmer spoke as he followed Sebastian to the door, stopping in the doorway. “Oh, and tell your mom thanks for the wood!”

                “I will.” Sebastian smiled as the door shut and started making his way back home. The smile never left his face as he walked, knowing he had found a confidant and friend.

[musingsandmaginations]

Fall

One moment, Shannon saw her standing in his garden. The next, he saw her on the ground. Maybe it was some medical event. Maybe she had been hurt. Was that why this mystery woman was on his property? Trying to get help? Well, regardless, she sure needed it now.

All he could do, at least temporarily, was stare out the window at this woman. Surprisingly, even with this bizarre and striking event, he wasn’t panicked. At least, not noticeably. Shock, he thought. Though, is it right to call it shock when there is a possibly dying woman is his garden, and all he’s done was see her drop? Really, it seems like she’s the only one with the right to the word “shock”, he decided. Still, he had no idea what to do.

But Ross will, he realized. Ross would know exactly what to do. He’s dealt with these situations. Always handles things quickly. Snapping back to the real world, Shannon dashed over to the kitchen and grabbed his phone, rapidly dialing Ross’ number.

“Hey, Ross? Got a situation. The emergency kind.”

“It’s a girl. College student, probably. Just collapsed in the garden. Right by the greenhouse.”

“Nope, never even seen her. She just...showed up. No idea what’s wrong, or how long she’s been there, or anything really.”

“Great. Don’t worry about coming through the house, just head around back. Get here as soon as you can. I don’t want anything bad happening.”

Relieved, Shannon sighed, went up to his bedroom, and started paging through his latest library book. He was a pretty squeamish guy. He trusted Ross to handle things, and he didn’t need to see it. Hell, he didn’t even know the details, not knowing who this woman was or what her problem is. And that was okay with him.

When he heard the gunshot about 20 minutes later, he let out a sigh, this time with annoyance in his breath. He’d have to deal with the blood now. Ross never bothered to clean up. Still, the woman had been dealt with. He didn’t know how much she had seen, and that was a risk he just couldn’t take.

[musingsandmaginations]

A Witch's Rant

Don’t let anyone tell you that you need to do a certain thing or have a certain object to make magic. Magic comes from within, not without.

You can speak and make magic.

You can write and make magic.

You can draw and make magic.

You can fall to the floor, get up, and make magic.

You can make magic from the ground where you sunk to your knees, unable to rise.

You can take the anger, guilt, and hurt from every hit you suffer and make magic.

You can curse the world around you- that’s magic.

Or you can bless yourself- that’s magic.

You are the most powerful source of magic power you will ever get your hands on. Don’t ever forget how magical you are.

[musingsandmaginations]

Pls do all of those OC asks

hell yeah (hell yeah) fuckin right (fuckin right)

1. Your first OC ever?

Polly Princess and her servant, O (pronounced “ah”). I was seven.

2. Do you have a personal favourite among your OCs?

Sirinaaaaaaaaaa3. Have you ever adopted a character or gotten a character from someone else?

Nope! My children are all created by me.4. A character you rarely talk about?

Tanner. He’s an obnoxious child of the Shadow race (Cat-people, created by combining a cat soul with a more-than-human body) who likes to pickpocket and chat people’s ears off. He’s only 12 and steals for his family’s sake. He’ll likely earn a title soon, probably simply Pickpocket. Then his name will be tanner Pickpocket. It’s uncommon for Shadows to get titles at his age, but he’s damn good at what he does. Even though what he does is steal. All the same, if you catch him he’ll probably like you because you’re clever, and then you’ll be stuck with him talking on and on for a while. (FC for Tanner)5. If you could make only one of your OCs popular/known, who would it be?

Kioni! She’s a Kenyan-American (self-identifies as black and Kenyan) who works to help support her family, and discovers one day that she has the power to travel to the Realms, hidden magical worlds within our own Earth. She uses this power accidentally at first, and then makes it her goal to learn about the different species and cultures of the Realms. She’s very polite, but holds steadfast to her morals. She’s one of several main characters, and probably me second-favorite after Sirina. (FC for Kioni)6. Two OCs of yours that look alike despite not being related?

Farr and Adam could probably be cousins?

FC for Farr, FC for Adam7. Are your OCs part of any story or stories?

Yep! Most of my OCs are part of a story I’m working on called The Realms (send me asks about it please!!)8. Do you RP as any of your OCs? If you do, introduce one of your RP OCs here!

I RP with friends if that counts?  We have interlocking stories.9. Would you ever be willing to give any of your OCs to someone else?

Maybe Morgan or Macy (the aforementioned friends with interlocking stories), but that’s it10. Introduce an OC with a complicated design?

(I can’t give you a picute of him because he’s a robot and I can’t draw him)

“Hello! I am Sir Aia Es. I am a knight! I am noble. I am told I speak in similar sentence structure. I am trying by best not to do that. I am also told I was an AI gone wrong. I do not care what that means, I am a knight and anything wrong is beneath me!”11. Is there any OC of yours you could describe as a “sunshine”?

Prissy!! She’s a seven-year-old princess and is absolutely darling. She’d trust anybody; she invited strangers to her castle to make ice cream. Of course, she gets in trouble with her oldest sister, Drea, for things like that, but she loves Drea anyway. (depiction of Drea)12. Name an OC that isn’t yours but who you like a lot

Clover from magicalwarriordiamondheart also all the other mwdh characters13. Do you have any troublemaker OCs?

Sirina and Farr are both mercenaries, so they get into trouble a lot. And Tanner, as you read, is a serious troublmaker.14. Introduce an OC with a tragic backstory

(TW: rape)

          Eighteen-year-old Hannah Fields was walking down the snowy streets of Chicago to meet her friend Joshua. It was winter break, and they always spent time together. As she turned a corner on the way to his apartment, a young man who looked about her age appeared seemingly out of nowhere. She passed by him, avoiding eye contact.

“A nice night, isn’t it?” he asked, matching her stride.          

“It’s dark, cold, and looks like it could storm any minute. That’s not ‘nice’ to me at all,” was her response. An uneasy feeling formed in the pit of her stomach.    “But there is much beauty in darkness. I know this well, for I am a Demon.” The calmness in his voice at that absurd statement startled Hannah and caused the uneasy feeling to grow. She sped up; so did he.

“Um, I hate to break it to you,” she began, her voice shaking, “but Demons aren’t real.” A nervous laugh escaped her as her eyes darted around in an attempt to find an escape from the stranger.

“Oh, but they are, and I can prove it. My name is Marquette Leveret. I can open your eyes to the hidden world.” His own eyes gleamed even in the darkness. He extended his hand to her with a flourish.

“Look, I’m in a hurry, and you’re a little crazy, so please just leave me alone!” the girl blurted in her fright. She regretted the words as soon as they left her lips.A dark chuckle was Marquette’s reply.

“I’m afraid I can’t do that. You see, when I first set eyes on you, He spoke. His expression changed, turned wild, at the mention of this unnamed person. “He said that you would bear me a child, one that would rise to great power. This must happen. It. Must. Happen.” With lightning reflexes, the Demon grabbed her before she could move and threw her into an alley. Her screams were silent; she was defenseless against his inhuman strength. And she will always be haunted by those piercing eyes destroying her soul as he did the same to her body, taking from her the purity that she could never regain.

Joshua found her there, bloody, bruised, and sobbing. He had come looking for her when she hadn’t turned up. His heart stopped when he discovered her in that alley. He picked up his friend and carried her to his house, where he hoped to help.She wouldn’t let him touch her.

A trip to the hospital had Hannah spilling the story to the doctors, her parents, and Josh. She was treated, but not healed. Nothing could heal her from that torment. From those eyes.

Hannah did her best to continue through life, and Josh was always by her side. When she started therapy, he was there. When she struggled and had backslides, he was there. When the police found no one matching her attacker’s name and description, he was there. When she found out she was pregnant, he was there. When she had to drop out of college, he was there.

A tentative romance bloomed through all this. Because of spending so much time with Hannah, Joshua got the courage to confess the feelings he had been harboring for years. His understanding, patience, and love caused her to realize the feelings she already had but never acknowledged. And Hannah began to heal.

Josh was at the hospital the day Hannah gave birth to her child. Her son, Kyle, with the piercing green eyes.

Two years later, on February 3rd, Josh proposed. He and Hannah had spent those years living together, raising Kyle as a family, with their parents’ support. And slowly, through those years, the light began to return to Hannah’s eyes, and the peace to her heart. The wedding was held within three months.Two years beyond that, the three of them were living a happy life. Or, rather, four of them. On February 3rd, Kevin Warren was born.

(FC for Hannah)

15. Do you like to talk about your OCs with other people?

Yes!!! Ask me about my OCs anytime!!16. Which one of your OCs would be the best at biology (school subject)?

Kyle. He studied biology and chemistry obsessively trying to find away to make himself human and not half-Demon, to no avail. But now he knows a lot about it. (FC for Kyle)17. Any OC OTPs?

Kyle/Kioni and Sirina/Farr are my platonic OTPs. Sylve/Isaac (he’s my friend’s OC) is my only romantic OTP. I obviously ship my married charaters but they’re not OTPs per se. 18. Any OC crackships?

Nah, not really. (coughAdam/Macycough)19. Introduce an OC that means a lot to you (and explain why)

Haha I’m skipping this one because I don’t want to go into it20. Do any of your OCs sing? If they sing, care to share more details (headcanon voice, what kind of songs they like etc)?

Not really. I mean, some of them can, but none of them are singers.21. Your most artistic OC

Adam! He’s a big fan of sculpting and painting, and as the prince of his kingdom, his art is worth a lot. It’s pretty good too.22. Is there any OC of yours people tend to mischaracterize? If yes, how?

Well, Sirina used to be lovestruck and obsessive, but she’s no longer that way, so she might get mischaracterized that way?23. Introduce OC that has changed from your first idea concerning what the character would be like?

“Well, this should be the place we can meet that Sirina person,” Kyle said, indicating the small wooden building surrounded by patches of swampy marsh. Kioni nodded and stepped up to knock on the door.

“Come in!” an exasperated voice called. They stepped inside to a decent-sized sitting room with a shabby-looking couch and a few chairs. There was a low table with a few papers on it, but other than that, the room was empty. The same voice was heard again, talking to someone else as two Shadows entered the room. The one speaking had long, unkempt black hair and a glare set on her face.

“With all your big talk, I expected you to at least be decent.”

“I’m more than decent! I’m good; I was good!” This was spoken by the other Shadow, the taller and seemingly more muscular of the two.

The first one let out a quick sarcastic laugh. “Right. Then explain why that wasn’t enjoyable at all.”

“Oh come on, you were enjoying yourself! I could tell!”

“Maybe a little. But I can only get so much satisfaction out of beating you up.”

“You were not beating me up!”

“That’s what it felt like to me! You weren’t doing anything! You were just…there!

”“But if I wasn’t there, it wouldn’t have been enjoyable at all, and you know it.”

“Wrong again. I’ve practiced on my own tons of times before, and since you’re so pathetic, that’s what I’m going to keep doing.”

As the two continued to bicker, Kioni turned to Kyle, looking uncomfortable. “Maybe we should leave…”

“No, we came here, we’re staying.” Kyle decided firmly, then turned back to the bickering Shadows. “EXCUSE ME!”

“Oh, right, people.” The shorter Shadow turned to look at them. “Oh, human people. Hey. I’m Sirina Opal Shade, and this is Farr Bladesmaster, the bane of my existence.” She punctuated her sentence with a roll of her eyes.

“And sparring partner!” Farr put in, causing backlash from Sirina.

“No. After this disaster, I’m never sparring with you again. Now get out of my house. Out!”

(So that’s Sirina now. Can you believe she used to be madly in love with a guy called Damion to the point where she would turn evil for him?)24. If you could meet one OC of yours, who would it be and why?

Kioni because she would be a big inspiration if she were real. 25. The OC that resembles you the most (same hobby, height, shared like/dislike for something etc?)

Probably Aqua, the middle child of the Hill family. I’m certainly no princess, but she’s a very cautious person and always obeys the rules. She enjoys music and dressing up, and is always patient with younger children. She loves her little sister dearly, just like I do with mine. (depiction of Aqua)26. Have you ever had to change your OC’s design or something else about them against your will?

No, I don’t think so.27. Any OCs that were inspired by a certain song?

Nope!28. Your most dangerous OC?

The Savage, definitely. She’s very manipulative and can easily convince people that her way is right. It doesn’t take much to get people to kill for her. But considering the fact that she’s basically the antichrist of the story, that’s pretty much expected. 29. Which one of your OCs would go investigate an abandoned house at night without telling anyone they’re going?

Sirina, Farr, and Caitlyn (She’s a pirate but she loves adventure of all kinds)30. Which one of your OCs would most likely have a secret stuffed animal collection?

Cassandra (Adam’s sister) would have if I hadn’t killed her off pre-story lmao31. Pick one OC of yours and explain what their tumblr blog would be like (what they reblog, layout, anything really)

Kevin, Kyle’s younger brother, would have a blog entirely of shitposting.He’d have a really nice theme that he made himself, though, because he’s good with computers. He’d just use it to post memes. (FC for Kevin)32. Which one of your OCs would be the most suitable horror game protagonist and why?

Phillippe, because he’s the type of person who would go explore a haunted house or something, but unlike some of the others, he’d actually get scared.33. Your shyest OC?

Believe it or not, it’s the Queen of Eliaare, Martine. 34. Do you have any twin characters?

Cristel and Ceder Telemar. They’re elves with a penchant for riddles and finishing each other’s sentences. They’re also both genderfluid, so they switch sometimes ad confuse people/35. Any sibling characters?

Kevin and Kyle.36. Do you have OC pairs where the other part belongs to someone else (siblings, lovers, friends etc)?

Kioni and Kyle- best friends and partners in crimefighting (kinda)

Kevin and Kyle- half-brothers

Hanah and Joshua- married

Cristel and Ceder- twins

Terrece and Jennifer Hill- married (also King and Queen of Gylla)37. Introduce an OC who is not quite human

 Kyle Warren sat in front of hiscomputer, typing as fast as he could in order to finish his essay on time. Hehadn’t been neglecting his work, not really; he just had other priorities. Nowhe was trying to write a paper about preventing air pollution, even though hehad hardly researched.     

“English?”a soft and kind voice asked, even though she knew the answer. Kyle glanced upfrom his paper to see his mother enter their tiny kitchen. She appeared muchcalmer than usual. Her stance was relaxed and there was a small smile on herface as she stared into her coffee mug. “You know, if you wanted to go to acollege next semester, that would be fine.”            

Kyle sighedin response, turning his full attention to the woman that has done so much forhim. “I can’t do that, Mom. Dad’s not here, so it’s up to me to take care ofyou and Kev.”            

“I can takecare of myself!” an indignant voice hollered from the other room. 

“Right,because you can drive to the grocery store and pick up food for the week if Momcan’t. You can’t even cook for yourself!” Kyle rolled his eyes in his brother’sgeneral direction and turned back to his mother.             

“Kyle, we’llbe fine. I’m improving a lot. There are plenty of people willing to help outif…things happen . My coworkers are understanding. They inform me of patients Ican’t take…as much as I hate to ask, they’d be happy to help with anything weneed. Don’t let me hold you back.” The small smile disappeared from her faceand the traces of happiness left your eyes.            

“Mom. Youstill have flashbacks sometimes. Can your coworkers deal with them? And youknow that’s not the only reason I can’t go to college. I’m a freak!” His voicereached a crescendo with the last sentence, black hair falling into his eyes ashe slammed his fist down on the table. “What about my issues? There’s no wayit’s safe for me! Most of my incidents could be written off as anger managementissues. But what about the big ones? What if they get worse? I could seriouslyhurt someone, Mom, I’m a friggin’ Demon!” Kyle clenched his fists, breaths deepand shaky.             

Hannah  placed a hand on her son’s shoulder. Tearswelled up in her eyes as she spoke. “Half-Demon. And that doesn’t define you.It’s not who you are. It’s not your fault-”            

“I knowit’s not my fault. Don’t say it’s yours, either! But that doesn’t mean it’s nota problem. People don’t believe in Demons. I wouldn’t either, if there was anyway I could deny it…how can I ever explain what’s wrong with me? I’ll just be afreak the rest of my life. And I’m dangerous. I have to protect others frommyself.”            

“Kyle-”            

“Pleasestop. Let’s not talk about this now.” Kyle took a deep breath and watched hismom walk away. He felt guilty, not just for the conversation, but for thetroubles he caused her just by existing. 38. Which one of your OCs would be the best dancer?

Probably Jennifer or Drea. As the Queen and the heir to the throne, they both have to know how to dance well for social events. Terrence isnt bad either, though.39. Introduce any character you want

Time to meet the asexual trans girl pirate

I can help yeh. Fer the right price, o’course.”            

“Oh really?And who are ‘yeh’ anyway?” Sirina asked accusingly of the woman who had spoken.            

“CaitlynLocke,” she said with a salute, her other hand on her hip. “Best damn sailor inall the Realms.”            

“You meanthe best damn pirate in all the Realms,” scoffed a man at the docks.            

“Well,sure, I’ve raided a few ships from Lyox and Mechinae, but who hasn’t? Anyway,that don’t matter. What matters is I’ve sailed through siren territorythirty-eight times.”            

“And howmany boats have you had?” Sirina asked condescendingly.     

 Caitlyngrinned. “This here’s my only,” she said, pointing to the two-masted schoonerbehind her.             

“Well yeah,you’re a girl. Of course sirens wouldn’t affect you,” Kyle said.  

“What kindaignorant childhood you had, ain’t never dealt with a siren before? They don’tdo gender like we do. Their voices change to match whatever the targets want tohear. ‘Sides that, I was born a boy. I wasn’t one, but ‘fore I could prove it,the sirens sang their pretty girly songs at the rugged man they thought I was.Still didn’t do nothing. I’ve never felt the allure of the siren’s call.”Caitlyn shrugged. “So if yeh can’t take the portals, I’d be happy teh help.‘Couse, if we do end up dealing with sirens, yeh’ll have teh be tied down soyeh don’t jump ship an’ drown.” 40. Any fond memories linked to your characters? Feel free to share!

My friend Morgan and I have a notbeook called Theeeee Notebook where we wrote out a hilarious RP where some of our characters were sleeptalking. Also any interaction between Isaac and Sylve is pure perfection41. Has anyone drawn fanart of your OCs? If yes, maybe show a picture or two here (remember sources & permissions!)

Not yet, but hopefully someone will someday!42. Which one of your OCs would be the most interested in Greek gods?

Delphine. Shee’s a Seer, so she has all kinds of pagan-related interests. (depiction of Delphine)43. Do you have any certain type when you create your OCs? Do you tend to favour some certain traits or looks? It’s time to confess

My entire race of elves are black (they live in the Sahara desert), but  have the bad habit o making post of my human OCs white. I should reeeeally work on more racial diversity.44. Something you like about your OCs in general

they are all gay (kidding. like 2 of them are straight)45. A character you no longer use?

Julianna Arlington, my old Mary Sue self-insert for Harry Potter. Arguably just as bad as Enoby.46. Has anyone ever told you that you treat your OCs badly?

No but they probably should47. Has anyone ever (friendly) claimed any of your OCs as their child?

Not yet48. OC who is a perfect cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure

Prissy again49. Which one of your OCs would most likely enjoy memes

Kevin. I swear he’d run a shitposting blog.50. Give me the good ol’ OC talk here. Talk about anything you want

This took all day, I’m done. But I will be answering any questions about my OCs or their story that come after this… I’ll even write some more.

[musingsandmaginations]

When "Horrible" Isn't Enough

He's the metal on a number 2 pencil after the eraser is used up.

He’s the useless broken bit of spaghetti that falls out of the box when you go to recycle it.

He’s room temperature cafeteria coffee.

He’s a zipper when it loses the pull and it's near impossible to zip with anymore.

He’s the embodiment of straight guys seriously, unironically saying no homo.

He's a broken rubber band that you tie a knot in to give it a second chance but it BREAKS AGAIN.

He's a gel pen that stops working on the first use and never works again.

He's one of those shitty pencil sharpeners that come in kids' art sets that don't do shit.

He’s the word “rural”.

He's a pair of earbuds where only one side works.

He's the experience of trying to click on the next tab but accidentally closing the one you're on instead.

He’s like showering in a dorm bathroom without shower shoes.

He’s more trash than a landfill could hold.

[musingsandmaginations]

Picking Up the Strands

six years later on a hot summer day, I returned to the waterfall where I was left. I know now that I was meant to be abandoned, but I was caught up in the heat we found that January. he knew my heart would end up in the falls. there were others there, too, with fading tags: maggie, sam, katie, emily, lauren. each heart with the same name carved into them as was carved into mine.

  Twist around me, I need company. To porcelain poetry, I need human heat.

  I was left

He started it

Carved into me

the right side

Six years later

What started, fading

Faint etchings with

the same blade

[musingsandmaginations]

All I Wrote

The mundane oracle tells me to embrace the unexpected

The fact that you reached out to me is unexpected enough

But still you wear an armor built from chain-links of aloofness

I stare at your lips and hope you’re a traditionalist

Because damn if I’m going to kiss you first

The only leap I’m taking is my heart’s out of my chest

Your existence is a whirlwind of Chaos

I don’t know where we stand, or even if we’re standing

My name is a magic spell painted on your tongue

Isolation is a frigid palace with spikes at every entrance

O prince, when will you allow me into your castle?

Here stands one lyricist professing roundabout love

I long to trail poetry over your skin

As the fading remains of you bruise onto mine

But you will take my melody for granted

[musingsandmaginations]

How to Deal with Heartbreak

Step one: live in denial of ever having had feelings for the person.

Step two: listen to your carefully crafted playlist of songs that remind you of them, as this is clearly healthy.

Step three: convince yourself that the flutters you get whenever you see them are just your stomach’s reminder that you are over it.

Step four: get in touch with some people who understand how you feel- I recommend Ben and Jerry.

Step five: remember that each time you wonder what you did wrong, each tear shed over what could have been, is a WASTE OF TIME WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

Step six: Throw all your affection into someone else, another clearly health course of action.

Step seven: Repeat.

[musingsandmaginations]

A bolt of ice vaults over his head.

The war is in full swing now.

He pushes forth a wall of fire in the direction of the enemy.

Amid the screams, he hears a familiar voice.

His love, a brave warrior, was caught in the flames.

All he can say is “I’m sorry.”

As he watches the light leave his eyes, his love says one last line.

“It’s not your fault.”

[musingsandmaginations]

Annunciation

A hopeful girl in a purple sweater

Creates a clear sky through the smog in her mind

A train becomes a castle

She smiles up at the newly made star

That is a piece of heaven for her

A guardian angel with coal-coated wings

Rests her converse on the traincar she calls home

The girl becomes a wonder

Under her gas mask, the angel beams

And she paints more stars on this heaven

A daughter in a tattered purple sweater

Notes glares of passers-by as she plays on the tarnished metal

That train becomes a home

Furnished by the dolly on the rusty steps

And Mommy’s stars spraypainted for her

A mother with coal-coated wings

Evicted by the stigma of landlords and society

The girl becomes a savior

So she pours her heart into graffiti stars

That hold the hope of heaven

[musingsandmaginations]

Crushing

I am trying to write the pieces of my soul back together

The image of my shaky hand holding the bottle of pills

        The image of my shaky hand holding the bottle of pills

                The image of my shaky hand holding the bottles--

I should be dead right now

For all intents and purposes, I should be dead

I’ve lied convincingly enough that I’ve started to believe myself

I pretended my life had to end when the bottle did

I must learn to live with the fact that I will one day have to say

“I’ve lied to you”

I will one day have to say

“I drank to die”

My support needs his own, but I can’t do that

He opens me up, then he immediately shuts down

He clearly doesn’t want me to go

Clearly he’s not ready for that

I have to pretend he is fine and sleep

Memories attack my present self

The image of Snapple and antidepressants

        The image of vomit and Tylenol

                The image of tears, always tears

Why do people want to be around others in times like this?

If I reach out for help I feel like a burden

I’m often a burden

I won’t speak

Sometimes it’s unhealthy to be alone with your thoughts

[musingsandmaginations]

The graphite clouds sit in silence over the sun’s throne.

Branches sprawl out into thin twigs grasping at the satin sky.

Olive leaves sway in their slow, careful dance.

The grass lies flat, making way for three friends but left otherwise undisturbed.

The air hangs still; the leaves halt their performance.

A lone squirrel twitching its tail as it looks over the scene is the only sign of motion.

The clouds hold fast to their reign of the ever-darkening sky.

In this moment, the world breathes.

[musingsandmaginations]

How to be a poet

1. String a bunch of big words together and read them like you’re high—you now have a poem.

2. It’s that easy to sound like a pretentious writer type.

3. Try it, stretch out your voice: flagellation, quintessential, haberdassssshery.

4. Don’t forget the coffee, too; it’s essential to being a poet.

5. Some would even say it’s a food group.

6. If you want to look the part, invest in trench coats, scarves, and fancy hats.

7. Basically, dress like dramatic theme music.

8. Congratulations, you are now a poet!

[musingsandmaginations]

What’s out there?

In space I see stars, I see love and rest.

Gazing at the sky, there is peace, there is hope.

Galaxies swirl with elegance refined.

Oh, if I could walk among the stars.

If I could dance up Saturn’s icy rings.

But sadly, this is reality.

Even so, I’ll dream the impossible.