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My body is embarrassing

My lack of control is embarrassing

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My walking pad came in the mail today, I also bought some weights and a yoga mat. I’m so excited to get to move. I live in a not so great neighborhood, plus my work is very non physical. So yay!!! This is such a big deal for me. 🥹

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My boyfriend will be here this weekend from California and while I am SO excited, not tracking calories while he is here will be stressful. 🥲

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Binged for two fucking days. I h8 me.

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It’s not just about losing the weight

It’s about breaking the fucking food addiction

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Just calculated my bmi for the first time in over a year.

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You will never regret skipping a binge

But you'll always regret its aftermath.

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As someone who has struggled with BED in my teen and adult years, eating like a normal person is always my goal. Most days this feels impossible, I usually take in the calories for 3 people in a day. The last 2-3 days I’ve done pretty well and I am proud of myself.

This was my breakfast 389 cals high protein. 🍓🧇

Kodak protein waffles, strawberries and protein yogurt.

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You really think that sweet treat is going to get you where you want to be?

- I didn’t think so, put it down and walk away.

Choose discipline today.

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Moderation

Moderation

Moderation

Moderation

Moderation

Moderation

Moderation

Moderation

Moderation

Moderation

Moderation

Moderation

MODERATION YOU FAT COW.

- inside my head 24/7 -

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You’re doing better than you think you are.

You’ve only lost 5 pounds? You gotta start somewhere.

You’ve hit a plateau? It’s better than gaining.

You didn’t fast as long as you wanted? At least you didn’t eat every hour.

You only burned half of the c@ls what you wanted? You could sat around and not burned anything.

You’re gonna get there hun. Give yourself some time. You’ll get there.

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This morning I told myself

“I’ll eat a protein yogurt before work so I don’t get a headache”

For me - I NEVER forget to eat. My BED has a tight grip on me, everyday almost. 🥲 not only would I normally eat the yogurt but before long, I’d have totally binge ate breakfast with more food.

BUT today I realized after I got to work, I DID forget to eat the yogurt. I distracted myself keeping busy with other things so well, that I finally did not obsess on food first thing in the morning, as I usually do.

Some days I will not eat right away, but it’s never not on my mind those days.

TODAY I just didn’t fucking think about food!

This is a small victory for me & my BED. ^.^ yay.

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Fuck my life & my body.

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food is poison to me, my relationship with it is so unhealthy.

I am slowly killing myself by constantly indulging.

Today will be binge free.

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TW BINGE EATING DISORDER BLOG

NOT pro ed just using tags to reach people struggling with the same or similar problems.

Please, just block if this blog triggers you in any way.

Here’s is a short introduction of me for my moots. 🙂‍↕️

Hi all, I am 27 y/o, I’ve struggled with B.E.D since the young age of 14.

Honestly, probably earlier than that, but diagnosed at 14. Yes, 27 now and still can’t get my mental health together enough to stop my emotional eating. It sucks. But I AM trying everyday to get better and have a healthy relationship with myself & food.

Here on tumblr I feel safe to express my thoughts that I have about food, and myself. Thanks for listening. 💜

GW1:

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I seriously do not take advantage of the privilege I have being in total control of my eating. I buy my groceries, I cook my meals, I have the decision to eat, or not to eat.

Here I am still fucking binging.

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Tomorrow, I am in control.

I have to get my fucking head straight and stop letting my brain overwhelm me with thoughts of food all day and night.