niceology

[niceology]

Niceology Lesson 67

Here's a suggestion. Imagine an employment office for a completely random example. A lot of people are there, looking for work. They're given forms to fill out, and pens are provided by the office. Maybe, when you're filling out your form, don't fucking chew the cap of the pen! Other people are going to use that pen, and they'll have to take the cap off, and they'll probably put the cap back on, and they don't want to touch something that's been in a stranger's mouth.

Can't believe I have to explain this. Look, I get the appeal of chewing on pen caps, I do it myself, I do. I've got no problem with people going out and buying a set of pens, going home, and chewing caps til their teeth fall out.

But when it comes to public pen caps, just don't chew. My message to everyone in the world is this: don't chew public pen caps.

[niceology]

Niceology Lesson 66

Here's a common thing that happens: people wear shirts. Those shirts may have logos of bands or sports teams or TV shows or movie franchises. Then a stranger comes up and conducts an impromptu quiz of the shirt-wearer's knowledge of the subject that's on their clothing.

It's pretty clear by now that this is ANNOYING. Stop doing it!

Honestly, what is to be gained from this interaction?

In one scenario the shirt-wearer "passes" the knowledge test set by the interrogator. In that case, the shirt-wearer is annoyed that they just got interrogated, and the interrogator is, what, awkwardly relieved that some random stranger isn't a poser? Phew, good thing you discovered that.

Then in the other scenario, where the shirt-wearer doesn't pass the test, they're still annoyed that they just got interrogated. And the interrogator is also annoyed because there's too many posers in the world. That's just a negative experience for everyone involved.

You can still talk about people's shirts. I actually think "that's "Nice shirt," is a fine conversation starter. And if it's a shirt with a franchise I know, like Star Wars, I sometimes say, "Nice shirt, I love Star Wars," and if they wanna talk about it, we talk about it. If they don't, we don't.

Just stop giving random unwanted quizzes to people.

[niceology]

Niceology Lesson 65

Here's a simple one: you can invite a friend over to have a few beers and play Tony Hawk's Underground. That's a fantastic game, and you're providing a fantastic time for a fantastic friend. Or Crazy Taxi! I used to be so good at that game, it was, well, crazy.

[niceology]

Niceology Lesson 64

If you're looking to hire someone for a job, you might post that job on Indeed or LinkedIn or some other job site. How about this: post the fucking salary for the job! That's a really nice thing to do! I'm not sure if people are aware of this, but the salary of a job is a crucial aspect to a job. It's important information to have. I just think it would be really a nice thing to do, listing the salary.

A lot of the time they say the salary is "competitive." The fuck? Oh, it's competitive? Lotta things are competitive, doesn't mean they're good. The Detroit Pistons are competitive, and they're made up of competitive players, but they're the worst team in the NBA right now. Maybe the salary for this potential job is competitive, and it goes out there and competes against all the other salaries, and it gets its ass kicked.

Sometimes they put a range, which can be okay. They'll say the salary is 55,000-60,000, and that's fine. I'm grateful for that. That's a nice thing to do. Even a slightly bigger range like 50,000-60,000 is fine by me. But you can't just throw a range on there and pretend that you're being nice. I once saw a range of 60,000-120,000. It wasn't even a sales position where you could have a huge range from commissions. That's not nice, man. What kind of information is that? I hope you realize how different my life would be making 120,000 a year vs. 60,000. That's not an acceptable range. Come on, man.

Just post the salary, man. Just be nice for once.

[niceology]

Niceology Lesson 63

I saw a post on the internet. Actually I’ve seen a lot of posts on the internet. One such post was a young woman saying that she, when walking into a gym locker room, always jingles her keys, walks with loud steps, and just makes a whole fuss of noise. And she does this in case there’s someone in the locker room taking selfies. The idea is that the selfie-taker might be embarrassed if someone walked in on them taking selfies. However, since the internet poster makes enough noise before walking into the locker room, the selfie-taker has sufficient time to react. Isn’t that nice?

It’s funny, we always talk about doing something “when no one’s watching,” and it’s always this scary, serious, moral discussion. But it’s not always like that. I do a lot of things only “when no one’s watching,” but it’s mostly just goofy, stupid stuff. 

Anyway, I think it’s a nice thing to do. I tend to clear my throat before I enter a room or place where someone might think they’re alone, just so I don’t startle them too bad. 

[niceology]

Niceology Lesson 62

I know this is a stupid, silly aspect of our society, and it is representative of general shittiness, but sometimes it’s nice to give a five-star review, or a thumbs up, or an “excellent service” on a survey, or things like that.

Like rideshare, it’s nice to give five stars after the ride. I used to drive rideshare, and it helped. It was good to keep that rating at 5. If they get you there, leave a five. With another job I had, we automatically sent out these little bullshit surveys, and if you responded with “excellent,” that helped me out. A bunch of excellent’s actually helped me get a raise! So that was nice of y’all back then, but that job sucked so I quit.

Here’s the other thing about that: if I received an “excellent” response, that was good, it helped me. There was a response just below that, which was “great,” which hurt my overall rating. Basically “great” counted the same as “poor.” It was “excellent” or nothing. What the fuck was that all about? So fucking stupid. 

Anyway, we don’t really have a thing like that with my current job, but we had one customer that I helped who was gorgeous. That doesn’t really matter, but she looked like that actress Laura Harrier. So pretty. ANYWAY, I helped her out and she was very nice, and she was like “I’m gonna write a review!” So she wrote a review on the google page of the business or whatever, and it was saying how I was so helpful and I did a great job and she was happy with the experience and all that. And, you know, it felt pretty good. Very nice of her.

Rideshare is probably the easiest opportunity, though, since it’s just a tap on the screen. You should also tip, too, since rideshare companies... that’s another topic for another day.

[niceology]

Niceology Lesson 61

Here’s an idea: Let’s say that you work in a building with other people. There’s a small breakroom with a couple tables, and you’re on your break in that breakroom. There’s another person on their break, sitting at the other table. Now let’s say that your text message notification sound is the sound of R2D2 screaming. “WAAOOOOOWWWW!!” If you’re gonna be in that breakroom, having a texting conversation, then how about TURNING OFF THE FUCKING NOTIFICATION SOUND!!!

This actually happened to me quite a few years ago, but I didn’t have a blog back then. I was just a peaceful youth, sitting in a peaceful breakroom, and my co-worker came in and I heard this “Waooww!” “Waooww!” And at first I was like, ‘Oh, that’s weird, but whatever,’ but it kept going! Like dozens of times! They were having a full-blown, fast-paced, text-based conversation. Over and over again I had to hear poor R2D2 scream out in agony.

Okay, yeah, I probably could’ve just said, “Hey, could you turn that off please?” But I think I was just in such shock that they wouldn’t realize that it was annoying. Like how could they possibly not think to turn it off? 

Anyway, just be aware of your surroundings and whatnot.

[niceology]

Gratitude/Announcement

Hey y’all! I just wanted to say thanks for following me and supporting me. Also, a decent number of people purchased my book [which is a little collection of the lessons I post here] over the past couple months, and that has meant a lot to me. Thank you! It has boosted my confidence, and of course it helps financially as well. So thank you very much for that. Very appreciated.

ALSO, I wanted to announce that my first work of fiction is now available for purchase here: https://www.amazon.com/Dead-Knocking-Lorcan-Lefty-Forrester/dp/B09K1TXHQ6/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1HBPXKIX3A1Q5&keywords=lefty+forrester&qid=1640983769&sprefix=lefty+forreste%2Caps%2C167&sr=8-1 

Hooray! It’s a story about, you know, coming to terms with your identity and your place in a changing world. Riveting stuff. It looks like this: 

Wow. Those hands sure look ominous, don’t they? I wonder what they could represent? Better find out.

And the back of the book looks like this: 

Now isn’t that a quirky little paragraph? Seems a bit at odds with the edginess of the aesthetic, doesn’t it? Variety is the spice of life, I suppose.

[niceology]

Niceology Lesson 60

Sometimes a little gesture can go a long way in tough times. My mom’s not doing too well. I don’t wanna go into detail, but she has to spend most of her time in bed for right now [not COVID-related]. She’s pretty bummed out about it, and also about the fact that she can’t do the normal Christmas things that she likes to do.

So I brought one of those mini Christmas trees into her room and set it up for her. And it made her so, so happy, it was great. Her whole mood brightened and she was just very grateful for this simple act. 

And it was simple. It wasn’t like I went out and bought it. It’s her mini Christmas tree. I just thought of it and got it from her attic and brought it down. Very simple, but it made her very happy. It’s not always “the thought that counts” entirely, but a thoughtful thing can count for a lot.

[niceology]

Niceology Lesson 59

I’m not much on holidays, but wow! We have this cultural tradition that’s basically set up for people to be nice to kids. Incredible! Very simple opportunity to be nice. Just give some candy to kids. Kids LOVE candy. It’s like the greatest thing in the world to them. 

I remember when I was a kid there was this candy called Creme Savers, and they had this flavor, “Strawberries and Creme,” and they were SO good. I loved them so much. And then they were gone, lost to the destroyer of all things, Time. 

And then, I saw an article that they were coming back. Hooray! They were supposed to be available at Big Lots. But I went to Big Lots.. no Creme Savers. Then I went back.. no Creme Savers. I don’t know if I’ll ever find them again.

And even if I do, I probably won’t even like them as much as I did when I was a kid. I don’t even really like sweets at all any more. 

[niceology]

Niceology Lesson 58

I always love when I’m watching a baseball game [kinda rare, but it happens sometimes], and a guy catches a foul ball and then gives it to a little kid. The kid always is super excited and happy and it probably makes their whole day, and creates an awesome memory. Very nice thing to do.

That reminds me of that one kid who got a foul ball, then pretended to give it to some older girls nearby, when in reality he just gave them a random ball that he already had in his other hand. I love that video. Sneaky little bastard.

Also, there was this “fact” that was repeated all the time when I was growing up. “You’re more likely to get struck by lightning than to catch a ball at a baseball game.” I heard it all the time. What was this fact? Where did it come from? To what was it referring? Was it even true?

Like, does it mean that, at any given time, a random person on Earth is more likely to get struck by lightning than catch the ball? Sure, I guess. But like, India and China have billions of people, and I don’t think they have much baseball going on, but they probably have lightning sometimes, so who cares about the fact. Or is it like, a person, during their entire life, is more likely to get struck by lightning at some point than they are to catch a foul ball at some point in their life? Again, India, China, and even Russia kinda skew this fact so that it loses some meaning.

It’s just a weird fact that I heard all the time. Because you literally have to be at a baseball game to have any chance of catching the ball. A person just walking around has absolutely zero chance of catching a baseball from a game, but there’s somewhat of a chance that lightning might strike them. It would be more interesting if it was this: “A random person in proximity to a thunderstorm is more likely to get struck by lightning than a random person at a baseball game is to catch a foul ball or a home run.” Maybe that is what it means, but who the fuck knows.

[niceology]

Niceology Lesson 57

You might find yourself in a place. It might be a library, or a gym, or an airport. Someone says to you, “Hey, can you watch my stuff for a sec? I’ll be right back.” And you say, “Sure,” because you’re a nice person. That’s a sacred bond right there. That’s humans looking out for each other. And it’s not even so much about protecting their stuff, you just kinda watch it, and it puts the other person’s mind at ease.

[niceology]

Niceology Lesson 56

All right, here’s a simple-ish thing. There are a lot of jobs where customers come around and you sell them stuff. Retail, fast food, etc. Sometimes there’s a coupon or a 2-for-1 deal or something. And sometimes, as a worker, you can help them get a better deal. Like, “Oh, if you buy this many packs of this many nuggets, it’ll actually be cheaper,” or whatever. It’s a really nice thing to do. I’ve had some people do that for me at places and it felt great.

I’ve done it before at jobs I’ve had, and people have always appreciated it. We used to have these “20% off a single item” coupons at a place I worked at, but it always went on the cheapest item in a transaction, so I’d be like “Hey man, let’s just ring up that most expensive item on its own to save you the most money,” and everyone loves that.

So if you’re in a situation like that, it can be a nice thing to do.

[niceology]

Niceology Lesson 55

Here’s what I wanna do: if I fall in love again [who knows if that will happen], I want to prepare a hot, peaceful, good-smelling bubble bath for my lover. And maybe I’d light a candle and put on some very light music. I’d want to make a relaxing, soothing environment.

Once they’re good and relaxed in the bath, I’d want to sit opposite them and read aloud to them. I think that would be really enjoyable and relaxing for them. And kinda fuckin romantic. It would be a nice thing to do, and it’d be cool to do it once a week.

I know this is kind of a personal post and a bit embarrassing to share my fantasy, BUT if you are in that situation, maybe you can try to do something like this for your partner. It doesn’t have to be exactly the same thing I’m describing. But something like it, might be a really nice to do for such a special person.

[niceology]

Niceology Lesson 54

I think a “you smell good” can be a nice thing to say. Of course, in some contexts, or by the way you say it, it might be kind of a weird thing to say. So just be careful. I know that whenever someone has told me that I smell good, it felt really great. 

[niceology]

Niceology Lesson 53

For some reason, kids love when you watch them jump into a pool. This is especially true if you’re the kid’s parent. “Mom! Watch! Watch me jump, Mom!” a kid might say. They do love people watching them jump into the pool, and that’s just a fact. So if you’re at a pool party of some kind, and a kid wants you to watch them jump into the pool, I’d say go ahead and watch them. They seem to enjoy it almost as much as the jumping itself. Perhaps a “nice cannonball!” might be in order.

[niceology]

Niceology Lesson 52

Having a simple catch with someone can be nice. Nothing like breaking out the old baseball gloves and the old baseball.. ball, and throwing it back and forth with a friend. There’s something about throwing a ball back and forth just makes the conversation just nice. You can just talk about whatever. Or talk about nothing. It’s a great time just throwing the ball back and forth. Good for all ages.