nitwitthegrey

[nitwitthegrey]

Nah cuz who in their right mind would actively dive for the bouquet i avoid that mf like the plague

[nitwitthegrey]

Some straight woman in 1990: hi yes can i get the biggest bed pillow you have? Like the size of a man so i can cuddle while I sleep?

Department store worker: ...couldn't you just... cuddle with an actual ma-

Woman: absofuckinlutely not.

[nitwitthegrey]

Apparently it's been a common thing that even grown women who thought they were straight their whole lives decided that might not be true when they watched Arcane and saw Vi's reveal at the end of S1 Ep4.

I know....... a friend..... who has had a similar experience. So, for this friend........ do y'all know of any sapphic books that contain a similar main love interest? This friend wants to know if maybe she just hasn't been exposed to *her type* of woman in popular media & literature.

Thanks in advance.

[nitwitthegrey]

abby jimenez darling i love you but "sucking air through your teeth" is a wince. Wince. Please just... let your characters wince, jimenez

[nitwitthegrey]

Certified adorable that Jacks, Mr. immortal murderous "you wouldn't like me as a vampire" prince of hearts is an absolute slut for pink hair and fluffy confectionery dresses

[nitwitthegrey]

elfhame fanbase can someone draw cardan walking along the seashore in his stiletto boots from prisoner's throne pls

[nitwitthegrey]

Locke: I have a grievance to bring to the High King

Cardan: no

L: it's about your seneschal.

C: ...procede, but only while describing the incident in great detail.

L: so she appears out of the shadows, makes me sit in a chair that she promptly kicks away -

C: classic. then??

L: I land flat on the cold floor, I even have a bruise here -

C: mhmnm and is there more?

L: ...she steps directly on my chest while threatening me at knifepoint.

C: fUCk. Is the grievance that you creamed your pants? Because you know very well that I cannot hold her responsible for it.

L: ???!? You truly believe THAT to be my grievance?

Cardan: (with genuine confusion) ........on second thought, I rescind my earlier statement about the two of you being perfect for each other

[nitwitthegrey]

do you think peter pettigrew ever got upset about constantly being picked for kill when the mauraders played fuck marry kill

[nitwitthegrey]

when mr. rochester dressed in drag as an old fortune teller and elaborately pranked an entire party partly to get jane’s attention… when mr. rochester wrote, composed, and performed an entire song for jane eyre on the spot… when mr. rochester took in his former sugar baby’s bastard child despite her presence being a painful reminder to him of her mother, and then claimed not to love the child despite spoiling her with gifts… when mr. rochester sacrificed his life trying to save his wife even though she tried to kill him multiple times and he still refused to put her in ferndean manor because he didn’t think it was good enough for her (making it meaningful that he ends up living there himself when he’s disabled, showing he prized himself less than her)… when mr. rochester took jane out for an extravagant all-day shopping trip and was way more enthusiastic about it than her… when mr. rochester shared a god-given telepathic connection with jane which induced them to reunite… when mr. rochester decided to wear the pearl necklace he originally bought for jane for forever… when mr. rochester made up a story for little adèle about jane being an elf magically sent to him from the moon… when mr. rochester pulled jane onto his horse… when mr. rochester…

[nitwitthegrey]

when you finally realize at the ripe age of 26 that you have autism and suddenly it all comes together

[nitwitthegrey]

Real interactions from an INFJ, pt. 8

Everyone: *standing in an awkward silence*

ENTP: "so has anyone eaten a lemon recently??"

Everyone:

Me: "... have... YOU? Eaten a lemon... recent-????-"

ENTP: "no no no. I just thought it might be an interesting conversation if someone had"

[nitwitthegrey]

girls do not poop they only go to the bathroom to cry

[nitwitthegrey]

There's no such thing as a "weird girl" because we all are. 100% of us. Let me explain:

20% show their weird always. These are the ones we *say* are weirdgirls.

70% are weirdgirls and don't show it except at sleepovers, with their best friends & sisters, and when they get a boyfriend

10% are normal but because they're only 10% of us, technically THEY'RE the weird ones

[nitwitthegrey]

Wearing nothing to the Barbie premiere because it's the most accurate to my experience of growing up playing with them

[nitwitthegrey]

Real interactions from an INFJ, pt. 7

INFP: "JELLO SHOTS?? Oooo that sounds fun!"

Me, about to remind her she doesn't like jello: "But-"

INFP: "Well actually I don't like jello. But I like people who like jello!"

[nitwitthegrey]

Call me dramatic if you want but i firmly believe that every british person who says "bits" instead of "pulp" should be arrested for disturbing the peace by being unnecessarily gross with their language choices

[nitwitthegrey]

not daddy issues, not mommy issues, but a secret, third thing (sibling issues)