nomiliy

[nomiliy]

This isn’t a question - but YOU GOT THIS!! You’re almost there! Inevitably you WILL have your breakthrough moment and you’ll absolutely crush it! And then you sit back and enjoy the view knowing you put 110% into every chapter - and every moment of struggle will have been worth it. And don’t forget to enjoy the process! (Idk if I can say that because lately I’ve done nothing but complain about my own ~wRiTiNg jOuRnEy~ 🤪) but I do actually believe someday my story will be finished and I’ll look back on it and be like “Damn.... I miss that.” Or maybe I won’t, who the hell knows. 🤡😂 all I’m saying is, I’m rooting for you buddy! Hang in there and remember what you’re fighting for! 🥂

I wanted to wait til I finished Idiot Savant and published everything but this just-

Thank you for all the support and I'm so sorry for not answering this for a year but thank you for being in the Shandom and always being a positive force and ahhhhhh🥲

[nomiliy]

Mom voice: Hug it out, boys, come on, bring it in.

[nomiliy]

Darren’s a filthy cockslut.

No, I will not debate facts.

[nomiliy]

In celebration of coming off a year-long hiatus, I'm reblogging this glorious playlist.

You’re welcome 🖤

A playlist for my Cirque du Freak fanfic Idiot Savant featuring Steve and Darren being hopeless idiots in love. Comprised of 90s alt-rock (and a few outliers from 2008) with a post-grunge, metalcore twist to really get that 'angry, angst-riddled teen boy thrown into the depths of Hell and society' feel. Or something.

Honestly, Steve and Darren would probably love this shit- two weirdo teen boys growing up in the heyday of post-grunge in the 00s? Granted, Steve's a big Hendrix and Ozzy fan, and Dare love's the Talking Heads and Black Sabbath, but STP? Deftones? Slipknot? The boys love that shit.

Listen, I was a teen in the late 2010s so I was a huge alt-rock fan and it just made sense for the shit I put Steve and Darren through. Rough vocals, heavy guitar riffs, rhymic, pondering bass that shakes your ribs, steady drums that turn overbearing and powerful, and those angst-up, sexed-up clichéd lyrics that just get the 17-year-old in us all.

I created the playlist in order, but you can blast this thing on shuffle and it's still cohesive to get that feeling. But if you're also like 'Nom, you're great and everything, but I can't stand this weird stoner, try-hard rock BS, none the less 50 goddamn songs' then no worries you fucking heretic beautiful person! But I GOTTA recommend Wish You Were Here by Incubus, No Ordinary Love by The Deftones, Snuff by Slipknot, Say You'll Haunt Me by Stone Sour, and Everlong by The Foo Fighters cause those are all just certified classics 🖤

[nomiliy]

I’m alive, I just went through a whole lot of shit. Have the latest chapter of my starren fanfic a whole year later 🙃

Op, and Merry Christmas!

[nomiliy]

I made HoTRS!Steve kind of unhinged

Like he wasn't before???? XD

But, really, amazing answer! I had a distinct feeling The Godfather had something to do with it, but I don't remember if I read that in your author's note or if you talked about it on the discord? But either way, I love the concept, and I hope we see more mafia!AU in the future from you and other authors!

And I always adored the title because I adore that song! It really does give off the feeling you described so perfectly, so all the props for nailing that! And y'all can judge me for this, but I like Five Finger Death Punch's cover of House of the Rising Sun better than any other 🤷‍♀️

And I'm nothing if not a vehicle for people to lore dump about their fanfiction and passion projects! Keep pumping out the great CDF content my friend ❤️

So, what was your inspiration for House of the Rising Sun? (I feel like you've told us before, but PLEASE go off and get deep with it!) Like why'd you chose the mafia setting/AU? What made you decide that Evra would be a bartender and The Cirque would be a bar? Just ALL that, I love knowing those deep details that don't always transfer from the mind to the page~!

WARNING GUYS: YOU MIGHT WANNA READ THIS LATER IF YOU HAVENT READ TO AT LEAST ABOUT CHAPTER 10 OR 11 I BELIEVE

Oh boy, I love this question. Thank you Nom, I always love an excuse to ramble. So there's a few set of factors that led to House of the Rising Sun, and I think one of the first would be my bizarre obsession with The Godfather in middle school. (Side note: Who the hell put that book in a MIDDLE SCHOOL LIBRARY???) This developed into a fascination with mafia history, no doubt fueled by my friendship with @evil-dad-evil (Thanks Lucien lmao), and one strange story about Jon Gotti from my dad, but thats a text post all its own. Regardless I just always thought it was neat is the basics.

The mafia au for Cirque du Freak just seemed like it would work well with a mafia au already, the vampires/vampaneze being rival families, all that jazz. It was one of those things that just clicked in my head. Of course, I thought was going to be perfect. Obviously, it wasn't, it saw two different rewrites before it got to where we are now, without a truly solid plot, it was bad. Probably because the first two attempts happened when I was in 8th grade. It wasn't until after I graduated high school and quarantine kicked this fandom up into high gear that I got it to actually be a decent fic.

This go round was the first time I had titled it "House of the Rising Sun", named for the song by The Animals, because it gave me the vibe of "I am in the mafia and i just shot my best friend and betrayed him and now im driving away from the funeral" and yes I know that is so, so weirdly specific. But the biggest help was when I had a thought of, "What if Wester and Darren met?" and what really kickstarted it was talking with an old rp partner (@maculaxsanguinis I love you and I miss u homie) and i had the thought of "Hey you know what would be fucked up? Wester framing Darren for Alicia's murder" and I got so stuck on that, that HoTRS had to be written. The "Darren gets framed" chapter was the thing I had looked forward to writing the most and I had been so excited about it, you have no clue how hard it was not to spill the beans in the discord. I actually wrote that chapter before the fic had even had it's first chapter thought through, though the original draft was not the chapter I ended up posting. It was the whole reason I ended up making the fic to begin with, and credit to my old friend as they were actually the one to come up with the "I do not know what you are capable of anymore." That hurt both Darren's and my own feelings.

Of course deciding to write that meant I had to figure out how to get there to begin wity, and with the vampires and vampaneze serving as rival families, I had to figure out what to do with The Cirque itself. Making it a bar seemed like this easiest option, giving a place for the story to start, and making Evra a bartender was bc... Well, I wanted Bartender!Evra but also, it gave Darren a way in. Darren talks to Larten at his suggestion, and Evra has no clue the amount of chaos that that will lead him into. That, and seeing as Darren's friendship with Steve has quickly been yeeted, (I made HoTRS!Steve kind of unhinged now that I think about it lmao) he's a good support for Darren, even if I'm not confident in how I write either of them. Not to mention someone who was on the outside of it all who still knew what was going on, which made for some great banter in certain chapters. (The exchange between them before the hit on Murlough is still gold to me.) But also, it's someone close enough not be too effected by everything, but still close enough to get hurt somehow.

But that's the story for how HoTRS ever ended up even so much as an idea in my head, and we've got @evil-dad-evil to thank for fueling my weird mafia obsession, and @maculaxsanguinis to thank for helping me plan one of the most dramatic, and possibly best scenes I ever wrote.

[nomiliy]

Don't you just love how the story takes on a life of its own as the process goes on? 😆

I asked this question because I was curious about how other authors view their OCs in pre-established canon. For me, nearly all my OCs and even canon secondary characters are there to fill a purpose. This isn't to say that they still aren't fleshed out, three-dimensional characters (though some are purposefully one-dimensional or flat because that's all my story may ask of them) but I tend to write with one central character's story in mind and therefore everything else is built to support that.

So, with all that, it's so cool to see the thought you put into her! Gracie, both from this answer and your writing, seems like the physical representation of the changing relationship between her parents as well as the ongoing consequences of Kurda's actions. I don't think that was intentional, but I just like taking a deep dive even if one's not needed 😅 And as far as the twist with Evanna goes I was super surprised and excited! I have a similar plot point in numerous fics I have in the works, which is just to say I love the idea of Evanna meddling in affairs via her innate powers to screw with Tiny. I remember reading the previous chapters before the twist and theorizing something with Evanna or Tiny was going to happen, and then it happened, and I was like HA! SAME WAVELENGTH! 😆

I totally understand wanting to avoid tropes like the 'Saviour Child' and 'Not like Other Girls,' that's something I struggle with in my own fics. Honestly, it all depends on how those concepts are tackled. Tropes and cliches are so widespread because they work, so I try not to be too harsh on myself 😅But the whole 'not like other girls' bs that was spread through a lot of YA fiction was mega-damaging, so I'm happy to see us moving away from that... and how dare you ask if I know the masterpiece that is My Immortal, I don't care if it was intentional or not, that shit is artful as satire- like that should be taught at the college level so I can see, finally, in a peer-reviewed essay, the line 'icy blue eyes like limpid tears' in a bloody work cited. God, what a world 🥰

How long did you have the twist with Gracie planned, and how did that idea come to you? And what was your inspiration for Gracie? Is she based off someone you know, or is she meant to be archetypical to fill her role in the narrative?

In other words, just tell me everything about Gracie pls and thank u

Oh man I read this ask as I walked into get my Moderna shot, and I tried to write it all out in the mandatory waiting period before I could leave the building but that wasn’t NEARLY enough time.

How The Fuck We Got Here: A Brief History. This whole thing started in 2013 when I was joking around with a fellow shandom friend (no longer active sadly) who also shipped Mika/Kurda. For whatever reason we thought it would be funny as fuck to see how it would play out if the two of them got stuck raising a baby together. Because we love a domestic polar opposites trope! It was only ever supposed to be a lighthearted fluff fest. I also wanted to write a much more serious Mika/Kurda fic that ran parallel to the canon storyline. These two concepts were never meant to blend into the same thing. So when I started out, I didn’t have any semblance of characterization in mind for Gracie. It was supposed to be an episodic sitcom type of thing where continuity didn’t matter and she was kind of just perpetually a baby/toddler - basically a plot device. I didn’t give her a physical description at the start. I was cool with people seeing her however they wanted to. I didn’t even put much thought into her name; I chose Grace/Gracie because it was the name of a horse I was riding that summer, and I liked how it was simple and cute, and not "out there" like a lot of OC names tend to be. Anyway when I gravitated back to writing in spring 2020, that storyline was the first thing I wanted to pick back up, since it had the potential to be so much fun. But then I started digging deeper into the dynamic between Mika and Kurda, because the Gracie angle causes them to connect with each other in ways they wouldn’t otherwise. And it was SO MUCH FUN to write! One of the most interesting and ongoing sources of conflict between them has been their differing stances on “what the hell are we gonna do if she decides she wants to be a vampire when she grows up?!” Kurda’s Hard No vs Mika’s Your Body Your Choice As Long As You’re A Grown-Ass Adult AHEM LARTEN could be it’s own post so I’m gonna leave that there.

The twist.... oh man, the twist. I had an idea for it really early on, but it was a while before I fully committed to it. I think I finally decided just before I started writing Bloodline - hence the title. And 7 months later y'all finally know that the title means! It was one of those things that started like “lmao could you imagine if I just went ______? I’m not gonna do it but could you imagine?” Which eventually evolved into “oh shit gonna do it”. But I tried really hard not to turn it into a “Chosen Child To Save Us All” trope because I’m not about that, also I really didn't want to re-invent what DS already did with Darren and Steve in book 12. I made sure to drive the point home that she’s not literally Evanna’s kid. It’s vague, all we know is that Evanna pulled a string somewhere along the line that set it into motion. I wasn’t working with any sort of timeline at first. It was all just set “sometime” before book 4 of the saga. All I knew was Mika and Kurda needed to have established history prior to those canonical events. And halfway through Call It What You Want, I decided I wanted Gracie and Darren to be the same age, and develop some semblance of camaraderie. I didn't realize how fun it would be to highlight and contrast them against each other, but that's something I've enjoyed and could almost be its own spinoff because I haven't even scratched the surface there. It was around the beginning of Endgame when I realized Gracie was the key to Kurda walking away with his life at the end of book 6 - because I knew from the start I wanted to keep his betrayal true to canon, but he had to stay alive for the story I wanted to tell. Without Gracie, it’d just be Mika going “sorry guys we can’t kill Kurda because I love him :(“ and that’d be lame. In a world without Gracie, there’s no way Mika would so much as breathe the same air as Kurda after all that - regardless of his own feelings. I stretch his character a lot, but that is where I draw the line. And that difference ended up being a massive plot element in the story because without her, they would've killed each other if their duty required it.

As for her characterization... she's not really based on anyone in particular, besides her dads. Their similarities are fun to play with. Basically I made her a mix of Mika and Kurda and gave her my personal style aesthetic. In the back of my mind I’ve always known she’d grow up to have the best of both of them. Sometime in Endgame I highlighted the fact that she resembles Kurda physically while mirroring more of Mika’s mannerisms. At first I just set it up like that because thought it was fun and cute. Admittedly, I decided on that before I committed to the Evanna interference angle. I was just lucky that it played nicely into that! At this point we’ve seen more of Mika in her. And that's because, in the wake of Kurda’s betrayal, it made a lot of sense for her to make a conscious effort to model Mika’s personality and mannerisms because she didn't want to be anything like Kurda. Keep in mind the betrayal happened when she was like 16 years old - so she had zero Kurda influence during a key developmental period of her life. Note: Mika could always see the gray area of Kurda's morality (even while struggling with it) but Gracie saw it in black and white for a long time. Dad's a war criminal and that's that on that. But by this point in the story, Gracie is more ready to accept that she has Kurda’s traits as well as Mika’s. Kurda's influence is more subtle but it's very, very strong. That’s going to be a fun thing to explore.

As for her outward aesthetic because I can't resist touching on this - I have a huge aversion to the “I’m Not Like Other Girls” trope which was really prevalent in OCs back when I first started writing. Ever heard of Ebony Dark’Ness D’mentia Raven Way? That example is extreme to the point where it's probably a parody, but I still wanted my girl to be the antithesis of that type of character. I had no trouble lending Gracie my basic-ass style. She drives a SUV, likes Starbucks and WhiteClaw, and shops at Lululemon. She’s also smart, and brave, and badass. And the best part is.... she’s legitimately Not Like The Other Girls. And nobody in the human world has a god damn clue. I gave her some parts of me, but I will go on record confirming she is NOT a self-insert. If I was going to do that, it sure wouldn’t be as Mika’s kid.🤪

[nomiliy]

Reblog if you write fic and people can inbox you random-ass questions about your stories, itemized number lists be damned.

[nomiliy]

@mikaverleth I believe the reason you see such different numbers is because AO3 and FFN have completely different ways they count hits. FFN doesn't count unique hits, just clicks on a story/chapter. AO3, on the other hand, counts unique hits with some added criteria. On AO3, views aren't counted chapter to chapter (i.e., if a reader goes through all your chapters in one sitting, that counts as a single hit) and it doesn't count you as a hit on your own stories if you're logged in.

Here's a great post explaining the unique way each site deals with visits and hit counts!

The CDF fandom is a little unique in this regard because I do believe the fandom is still fairly active on FFN. I think you do see more engagement on FFN, but those numbers are much closer in reality than the view/hit count would lead you to believe

“fanfiction.net is dead no one uses it”

are we sure?

* This Is Us is an outlier because the first 2 chapters were posted on FFN 2013 and abandoned til 2020, hence the hit count is wildly disproportionate but still.

Same exact stories. Same posting schedule. Same links posted in the same places when I update- actually, AO3 should have the advantage because when I share to Discord I use those links.

This is not a flex post. This is a fanfiction.net is my ride or die post.

[nomiliy]

Fanfiction is so <3

[nomiliy]

Tried so hard to change you, to make you something I could enjoy. But you insist on just acting the plaything, Your just a toy, just a toy.

You're the song I hate, But I can't let go

You're the song I hate, But I can't let go.

me making playlists for Steve's fucked up relationships instead of writing? never 👀

[nomiliy]

the pursuit of perfection kills joy & i hope whatever u do today ur allowed to do it badly

[nomiliy]

Absorbed in his Studies (detail), 1874, by Eilif Peterssen (Norwegian, 1852-1928)

[nomiliy]

The Destroying Angel, L'ange Exterminateur, (detail) by Anicet Charles Gabriel Lemonnier (French, 1743-1824)

[nomiliy]

Detail: La Lutte de Jacob (Jacob Wrestling with the Angel). By Léon Bonnat, 1876

[nomiliy]

A playlist for my Cirque du Freak fanfic Idiot Savant featuring Steve and Darren being hopeless idiots in love. Comprised of 90s alt-rock (and a few outliers from 2008) with a post-grunge, metalcore twist to really get that 'angry, angst-riddled teen boy thrown into the depths of Hell and society' feel. Or something.

Honestly, Steve and Darren would probably love this shit- two weirdo teen boys growing up in the heyday of post-grunge in the 00s? Granted, Steve's a big Hendrix and Ozzy fan, and Dare love's the Talking Heads and Black Sabbath, but STP? Deftones? Slipknot? The boys love that shit.

Listen, I was a teen in the late 2010s so I was a huge alt-rock fan and it just made sense for the shit I put Steve and Darren through. Rough vocals, heavy guitar riffs, rhymic, pondering bass that shakes your ribs, steady drums that turn overbearing and powerful, and those angst-up, sexed-up clichéd lyrics that just get the 17-year-old in us all.

I created the playlist in order, but you can blast this thing on shuffle and it's still cohesive to get that feeling. But if you're also like 'Nom, you're great and everything, but I can't stand this weird stoner, try-hard rock BS, none the less 50 goddamn songs' then no worries you fucking heretic beautiful person! But I GOTTA recommend Wish You Were Here by Incubus, No Ordinary Love by The Deftones, Snuff by Slipknot, Say You'll Haunt Me by Stone Sour, and Everlong by The Foo Fighters cause those are all just certified classics 🖤

[nomiliy]

I freaking love this

I love the whole concept of the False Lord, and I especially love how Takahiro illustrated him in the manga and I especially love this panel.

Steve is grinning ear-to-ear and reveling in his plan, and the False Lord (who I just call Michael for reasons...) is stoic and completely serious. Based off this panel, and every other instance we see Michael, him being the Lord makes total sense.

Steve is comprised mainly of sharp, triangular shapes (his hair, nose, eyes, smile, and chin all come out to sharp angles) while Michael is more squared off and 'flat' by comparison. Basically, their shapes tell us that Steve is dangerous and aggressive, but Michael is sturdy and grounded- pretty much what you would expect from a watchdog and his master.

But the shape theory, based on their characters, is inverted. Steve is the Vampaneze Lord and Micheal is the watchdog in disguise. The Vampaneze Lord is supposed to be a being of stability and strength for the vampaneze, but Steve is wholly corrupted and malicious. The False Lord, Michael, should be unsteady and fraudulent due to his falsehood yet he’s an honorable, solid man.

Yet they share a striking resemblance. They both have light-colored hair, they're both roughly the same height, and I'd go as far as to say that have similar frames. Standing side-by-side, you'd be hard-pressed to tell them apart with their backs turned. Which is just ugh so freaking amazing from a thematic standpoint. It's literally the body-double thing but some how the fake is the more real of the two! Steve by all accounts- appearance and personality- shouldn't be the Lord, but he is. Michael on the other hand, despite being a literal fake, is more of a leader than Steve is.