noodlefools

[noodlefools]

my friend asked me a fun question so i wanted share that conversation

Friend (censored name, yesterday at 11:54 PM): This is gonna sound weird as hell but what do you think a Naruto porn game for a target female audience would look like

Me (censored name, today at 9:14 AM): i will get back to u on this! i need to brainstorm

Me (today at 9:28 AM): my first thought was a dating sim where at the start u choose to be a 'good guy' or a 'bad guy' and depending on that u could romance either the konoha 12 or the akatsuki but i would have to fuck up the timeline to get everybody to be legal during the period of the show where the akatsuki were relevant. u could romance the jonin (the teachers like kakashi, gai, etc.) but there aren't as many of them and [censored for character bashing]

maybe u start off as a bad guy, romance through the akatsuki as they all die horribly and then go to konoha and fuck everybody there

and then that's only exploring dating sims. im like pretty sure there are other ways to do a porn game than that

if i could make this a series of games i would make the first one entirely akatsuki bc that way it would seem like the last person u had to romance was madara and then kaguya shows up!!! and u have to show the lonely space mom some love

i would want to make it an option to genderbend the characters, that way straight women could have boy konan and kaguya and lesbians can have the big tiddy kakuzu of their dreams (Might be projecting w/ that one but like. big tiddy kakuzu)

Me (today at 9:44 AM): a 'good guy' dating game would look like, you're the child of an aristocrat in the land of fire whose family takes u to konoha to get a war hero for a spouse (bc that's where a bunch of the good guys from the war are hanging out for a kage summit or a chunin exam or something) and u just have a massive pool of romanceable characters. killer b is a romanceable character. but maybe u only have a limited amount of time so u have to choose who you're gonna marry and then replay the game to pick up the chars u didn't get the first time. orochimaru's there and ur like what's a horrible snake criminal doing here? and he's like im here for sentencing :)

and there would be some kind of mirror into the spirit world or smth so u can date the dead characters (but ur unable to marry them unless u fucking kill someone to bring them back to life and i don't think i want to make that an option)

Me (today at 9:55): i have 2 ideas for just straight up porn, no dating or anything, and that's 1. you play through shippuden (where everybody's aged up bc ppl playing this game as opposed to a dating sim are just gonna have to not care) as a character w/ succubus-like powers (sex makes u stronger, w/ the added power that fucking stronger people makes u stronger than fucking random citizens) and go around fucking everyone until it's the 4th great shinobi war and you one-shot madara bc u have become ungodly powerful. and then kaguya reappears and she's like .////. and u fuck her on top of that volcano and then u get married [censored for ship bashing]

the second one is that hokage kakashi is out of fundraising ideas so he's like claps hands ok guys. you're gonna work part time at a brothel. and the guys are varying levels of ok with this. there are lots of pinup-type illustrations in this game. idk how to get the international folks in (like, taka u could say sasuke invited them but abt the sand and cloud people i have no idea)

and also gai is there

Me (today at 10:09 AM): another way to do this is that You the player are the prostitute and after playing thru all the konoha guys u get to go on tour and fuck everybody in all the distant lands

i remembered mei was a character which inspired that last addendum bc she absolutely needs to be a romanceable character and she would probably hire a prostitute

or someone would hire one for her

basically what would make one of these games woman-friendly is to a) make as many male characters as possible romanceable/fuckable, and b) MAKE THE WOMEN CHARACTERS BE THERE BUT BE WRITTEN BETTER THAN KISHIMOTO HIMSELF EVER WROTE

that was like 2/3 of a sentence but u know what im saying. expand upon the parts of their characters that don't revolve around the male chars, make them fun to talk to, if they're fuckable make their end pics not degrading

and make the boys sluttier than the girls! i would not say that about any franchise, like if this was dbz none of the male chars are half as slutty as bulma, but in naruto 95% of the male chars are sluttier than the non-kage women characters.

that's one thing abt naruto that's cool--the only slutty women are the actual 30ish and 50ish year old women characters and not the teenager girls

but then u have like [names censored for poor judgement, the only one uncensored is suigetsu because i feel like i have the authority to speak on him unlike some of these other guys] who are all unapologetically horny all the time

[noodlefools]

twitter

a moment with you

[noodlefools]

Haven’t posted here in like a year, I might start again. If tumblr was good for anything it was posting art.

Anyways, 17 years ago I was really into Yu-Gi-Oh and now I’ve descended back into hell again somehow. It��s interesting revisiting a series and characters you once loved so intensely, comforting and kind of sad at the same time.

I’m still a prideshipping and puzzleshipping piece of shit and that’s all that matters.

[noodlefools]

i’ve never watched n@ruto

[noodlefools]

Akatsuki sending you a 🍆 pic

Zetsu: sends you two side view shots, one black and one white. It’s your job to figure out what the hell is it about

Tobi: sends you a picture of an actual duck or eggplant, depending on how you have refereed to it

Deidara: waits for a golden hour for the best lightning, takes the prettiest possible picture, probably edits it in photoshop too

Sasori: sends you a picture of Michelangelo’s David’s leaf covered d

Kisame: instead of a pic he sends you a video of him in the bathtub, his d peeking out slowly from the water, Jaws’ theme is playing

Itachi: sends a pic, but it’s so dark in his room you can’t see anything

Konan: sends you a pic of her face, she is a big d energy personified

Nagato: didn’t quite understand it, sends you a pic while flaccid

Hidan: literal trash thirst king, the pic was probably taken in the semi-public place, like a dressing room or his car. Some of his abs are on the picture too

Kakuzu: sends you a censored one, it barely fits in the frame, you have to pay for the full view

[noodlefools]

[noodlefools]

all i want for christmas is…

[noodlefools]

tmi but im literally more sexually attracted to shin uchiha than the guy i’ve been sexting

[noodlefools]

🤫🤫🤫

[noodlefools]

Who in Naruto do you think would best rock some lingerie ? Personally I think Sai or Iruka or wait no, Ino

Ino dgskfyskfhskd aaaaaaaaaa

Well fr all the women bc 😳 have u seen them. TEMARI. god i love her

But yes Sai and Iruka I VERY much agree with but also ummmm Sasuke and Suigetsu 😳

send nasty asks (or just asks lol) 😈

[noodlefools]

I DIDN’T KNOW ON XKIT U HAD TO SWITCH BACK OVER TO THE MAIN BLOG AFTER REBLOGGING SOMETHING TO A SIDEBLOG SO I’VE JUST BEEN REBLOGGING NORMAL ASS THINGS TO THIS BLOG FOR THE PAST SEVERAL HOURS

[noodlefools]

the real reason he wears a mask 


based off this:


[noodlefools]

Little WIP for ya, hoping I’ll get it finished and it won’t end up in the oblivion of unfinished drawings 😅

Piccolo all tied up is like my thing at the moment haha I keep telling myself it’s an excuse to study anatomy... 🙄

Also I never know what to draw in his lower parts... haha like nothing?? Or should I just give him some junk 😂😂

[noodlefools]

there was this kink account on twitter, who among their posts about domination and piss, wrote a post along the line of ‘if you think people should get money for just existing dni’ and i want to say to that person and every dumbass who thinks like that, you will die by my hand and i will redistribute your wealth to the unemployed

[noodlefools]

Save a horse, ride Kakuzu.

(posted with permission, by @jomaitje - please follow and support the artist!)

[noodlefools]

So, umm... I read somewhere that it’s Kinktober, so if you could maybe possibly write a story about a kink KakuHidan might have, please?

Oof, there’s so many to choose from.  They’d try anything once, and I tend to feel as though I’ll end up copy-pasting if I write them doing something I’ve already done before...

He wakes up to the wet slide of Kakuzu within him.  It feels as though sparks are radiating throughout his body, pushed onward by another slow thrust.  His body aches, and there’s a wet spot on the bed beneath him, there’s no way this is the first time.  Well, maybe it is, maybe Kakuzu kept him sleeping soundly through being fucked open by a toy or something, but his muscles tremble when he tries to use them, as though they’ve been trying for too long.

His dick is so hard...  It’s throbbing, and he can feel it leaking with the smooth, steady pace Kakuzu’s insisted upon.  It’s far too slow, but Kakuzu’s weight and the exhaustion that informs him he’s been well-used means that he can’t force anything faster.  All he can do is gasp when Kakuzu pushes in again and go limp into his pillow when a rough hand settles on the back of his neck to keep him there.

[noodlefools]

whoa just found ur AO3 and um. 😳 very nice. I think my favorite story was the kakuzu/konan one? It was delightfully gritty but also 😳😳😳

Anon, you’re so sweet ;O; Thank you taking the time to tell me!

I really had to go on my own ao3 and make sure I knew which one you were talking about because that’s one of the piss kink ones and like!!! It’s pleasantly surprising that someone likes the kinky content I make! Naruto+watersports (and specifically to that story, omorashi in the context of bdsm) seems to be such a niche thing, I’m glad it reached at least one person in the target audience and I’m glad you liked it!

Thank you again :D