notsurpisedheartbreak

[notsurpisedheartbreak]

The recent Heart break although not so recent, is my long distance “best friend” just basically ghosted me without closure. And it’s been almost a year tommorrow since I said a “how are you” and no message back. You know what i am okay. It’s okay! I am living with it well, I am starting to see it for what it is. I will never know what caused her to not explain her ghosting me. We have a relatively healthy friendship it was my first healthy friendship. She was my best friend I genuinely thought that. But my best friend wouldn’t throw me away like that, i don’t try to come up with theories I just simple believe we have grown apart. We talked everyday for 3 years we made it work she put so much energy and effort and consistency. But I am not gonna even try at this point to come up with idea why I didn’t deserve an explanation. It is a coward move considering we had such a honest friendship but that doesn’t apply anymore. Not any more, anyways. A no-answer is an answer, and there is a part of me that wishes her well. But the hurt side of me is hoping that she still thinks about me, I jsut want to believe. But one gone friend doesn’t matter I still have other friends who actually are putting effort into our friendship! They matter more. With this hurt I just transform it into grateful for the people who had stayed and remain consistent! Everything happens for the best!

[notsurpisedheartbreak]

Facts

me giving relationship advice: communicate or end it

[notsurpisedheartbreak]

Yall Im going through a breakup so you can guess where I am going to be expressing myself 🥲

[notsurpisedheartbreak]

He has so much pain in him

but I loved him regardless

I just wanted him to open his eyes

To who he was becoming

To self reflect

But he can’t even look at himself

Much less look at me

[notsurpisedheartbreak]

america please import this concept

[notsurpisedheartbreak]

[notsurpisedheartbreak]

It’s crazy that when someone’s dies, it doesn’t feel like they died it jsut feels like they are hiding some where. Like it’s hard to fathom how someone can just be gone and invisible like the wind, but the thing is you can still feel the wind and it’s presence blowing against you and around you. It just feels unreal.

[notsurpisedheartbreak]

Finding peace within you is the hardest to swallow because it hard to find closure with your efforts only, you swallow peace bit by bit with time and before you notice you have already reached peace.

[notsurpisedheartbreak]

[notsurpisedheartbreak]

For me, it’s more common for me to have bad days then not. If there was a good day that day will obviously be the most rememberable, kind of like a four- leaf clover in a crowd of normal clovers because that one leaf really makes a difference.

—random thought of mine

[notsurpisedheartbreak]

This will never NOT be my anthem

[notsurpisedheartbreak]

I love these comics by Nathan W. Pyle.

[notsurpisedheartbreak]

Not gonna lie

Having an open minded friend, who is kind and loving is like so healing and it makes someone seem safe and valid?? 😭 you know?

[notsurpisedheartbreak]

Trust

I’ve tossed and turned and abruptedly woke up in the middle of quiet darkness and a heavy heart that seems to have fallen down into my stomach. I’m lost and confused, I wish I had the answers to my questions. I wish i could trust your words, at least I know you can trust in mine. So many conflicting thoughts. I wish someone can lead my to where I’m supposed to be with you. If only I can trust that things can be okay I want them to be but life isn’t quite that simple.

-3•9•19

A song I have liked recently —

[notsurpisedheartbreak]

Another letter to you 💀

When you pushed me away, i was defeated. There was nothing I could do and separation was needed inevitablely. I needed space and I felt like you needed it too. Your words shook me up way too much to return to you comfortablely. I would be disrespecting myself. And everything leads back to you, and that’s a little too much to accept. There was too much inevitability when it comes to you. The world works in mysterious ways. It tries to hide so much but reveals even more when it comes to you.

[notsurpisedheartbreak]

Letter to you #2

Whenever I see you smile I feel my heart literally heart roar with glee. You should smile more it suits you better then trying to act cool all the damn time! Honestly my face be looking like Rudolph the reindeer!

[notsurpisedheartbreak]

“Some other guy holding me really wasn’t the same. If anything it was lonely and felt unnatural”

- another dumb love quote