novicewritermaviolet - Tumblr blog

[novicewritermaviolet]

[novicewritermaviolet]

You looked utterly sad today and I felt bad but it isn't the same as before cause I think I've moved on from this silly crush. I still care for you though and I think that won't ever change.

[novicewritermaviolet]

[novicewritermaviolet]

[novicewritermaviolet]

The sun glistened in the sky exquisitely and yet here I was utterly and completely alone with not a single living breathing human left in the fucking country hell maybe even in the whole damn world.

Title Unknown S1C1. Maviolet

[novicewritermaviolet]

Why do I always feel like I'm never good enough? Why do I feel like everyone leaves the room when I enter, why does laughter cease, why to me? Am I that different, and what about me is so different? Why do I have the need to feel like I'm in the wrong when I'm simply being me?

[novicewritermaviolet]

What do I have to do to keep you by my side?

[novicewritermaviolet]

I'm needy and want your attention, and every time my phone pings I get excited it's you and then it isn't and the feeling of being ignored shakes me to the core and lingers making me undeniably upset knowing that I'm just a 'friend' and yet I still wait for you like the lost puppy that I am without you.

[novicewritermaviolet]

Today you sat so close to me, do you know how much that affected me, and how different it was if you had done it a week or two ago. I would've been so excited then, but now it just hurts, now no matter what I can't look at you without thinking about her and how much you like her and yarn for her affection. Sometimes I really hate you you know that. And yet I'm still here for you to break me more.

[novicewritermaviolet]

I'm slowly getting over you. Because I know I can't have you and that you don't want me but her, and you both do but she is holding back for some reason, she's dating someone else. I want to ask you does it hurt knowing she's within your grasp but she's still putty in your hands. She's slipping through your fingers and your letting her. She's scared because of your sad face and far off looks, will you continue to push her away. Will she? I wonder if your happy, I wonder if she can make you happy, and is it worth it? You're hurting so much while she's happy with someone else. While you hold her hand, push her hair away from her face and stare at her like she's the only girl in the room. Our eyes lock and we just stare, no words leaving either of our mouths and then she comes back. You become a puppy and follow her, you both laugh and giggle in front of me. Did you realize how much that hurt me, did you? Is that how you're feeling right now..? I'm sorry it's complicated for you, she likes you though, just smile more and you'll get the girl.

[novicewritermaviolet]

Couldn't have said it any better

Every day I

Learn a little more about

The me that I lost

[novicewritermaviolet]

I think I'm finally over you and those silly smiles...

[novicewritermaviolet]

I've let the situations in my life define me and because of that I'm so mentally messed up.

[novicewritermaviolet]

I think I´m ready to move from this crush, because I know you don´t like me like that, but as long as we stay friends I´ll be glad......

[novicewritermaviolet]

I fell for you,

When I shouldn't have

Because you'll never feel the same way

I feel for you

[novicewritermaviolet]

“You held me as a friend and I held you as a lover.”

— christianbisexual 

[novicewritermaviolet]

I must be some love sick teenager huh, but thats weirdly okay, because It just is, I hate him but also like him, I thank him but also curse him not because I like him but because I know I can't have him and because he doesn't want me....