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Clinging

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first real sketch of a uhhhh a very long time aka when you fuck up and your shizun tells you about this new awesome very needed cure for your life problems

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On Qijiu and core wounds

For a few weeks I've been mulling over Yue Qingyuan's and Shen Qingqiu's core wounds: Yue Qi, as the eldest in a group of child slaves, had to internalize the lesson: You are the one who comes and saves. There is no one else who can do that. With it, a second, implied lesson came: No one is coming for you. Except that's where Shen Jiu enters the equation, and he, in fact, does come for Yue Qi. Does save him from being trampled by a horse. Does save him from being killed by Wu Yanzi, therefore softening the lesson, but also, with time, tying a boulder of guilt to it.

Then we have Shen Jiu, who at first has a fragile trust inside of him, that of course, Qi-ge will come. Qi-ge will try and come and save him. This trust gets broken, and Shen Jiu is left internalizing a lesson that was already almost internalized: No one is coming for you. You need to save yourself. Through shared trauma, they shaped each other more and more into mirrors of one another and it's wild!!!! like!!!! sir!!! what do you mean!!!!!!

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I'm in the process of writing a very long fic (200K as of now) and i went to sleep cheerfully only to wake up crushed under the realization how toxic the main couple is

like my brain, during the night, realized that it would be best for me to leave this relationship BUT JOKES ON HIM THE RELATIONSHIP DOES NOT EXIST!!! IT'S JUST A DELUSION BORN IN A WORD DOCUMENT!!!!! my brain is its own jailer!!!

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star trek is about. .,the sixties

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the parallels between japanese school girl x teacher and greek boy x teacher

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the tortuous process

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Writing 人渣反派自救系統 (SVSSS, Scum Villian's Self Saving System). The 渣 and 反 (in red at the end) are written such that they form the character 愛 (ai4; love)

[eng by me]

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I did it! I mastered the eyelashes!

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downloaded krita, I'm learning how to use it and playing around with the smudge tool.

:') it's hard

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@underwaterstrawberries germs

antibiograms or however its supposed to be called in english

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uh oh changed my mind about bamboo

the og summary still applies: he won't judge you for cheating, but he WILL judge you for slacking!!!!

not sure if googledidnt lie to me when i looked for "idiot" in chinese

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He won't judge you for cheating, but he WILL judge you for slacking!!!

pure lineart under the cut

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Dual calamities Qijiu AU save me.... save me Dual Calamity Qijiu...

Yes they are wearing each other's former coats/outer layer and tons of matching accessory and garment pieces why do you ask

Details under the cut/Rambling ahead

Dual calamities AU, post pidw. SJ kills himself on the shards of Xuan Su by swallowing them. Qijiu end up entwined into one ghost amalgamation, their combined regrets hatred spite and resentment and everything creating a nearly supreme/calamity level ghost. They go off indiscriminately murdering in the demon realm in a mindless unaware rampage, consuming ghosts and demons alike and becoming stronger until they are strong enough to be aware once more.

Luo Binghe becomes aware of the new calamity too late, due to his distraction with the Bingge vs Bingmei extra happenings, and ends up regretting it as he fails to catch up to them time and time again, despite attempting to chase down the new calamity that slaughtered half the demons in a mindless rage.

It could go down the Bingqijiu path or be simply Qijiu retreating somewhere to live in peace. Maybe being annoyed later on by Hua Cheng and/or He Xuan, maybe even Bai Wuxiang once. They kick Qi Rong off a mountain once, when he comes to annoy them for the title only to prove that is not a calamity (unfortunately for him, ily stinky green ghost). SJ is gonna have the time of his life roasting his ass. Qi Rong will leave both in pieces and tears.

Their only disadvantage really is that they cannot seperate too much, physically. But I imagine after being in each other's brains after the soul merge they don't particularly care to be (nor would they want to be. This is Qijiu we're talking about.) It's Qijiu's codependant dream. Xuan Su sewed them together and actually they are very very codependant and possessive after everything so this is just fine. They probably even have a Xuan Su blood weapon, that heeds both their commands and calls. While fighting they synchronise, with YQY being the strength and SJ the brains.

I imagine YQY is able to conjure the arrows that pierced him as spiritual projectiles, and SJ chains that bound him in the water prison. Their strength was cultivated by absorbing and devouring other ghosts and demons.

@ace-shenanigans came up with the lovely title "jade dragon stalks bamboo" which is a much better title than I could ever hope to come up with. Thank you for listening to my mad ramblings

I've been wanting to draw and think on this for a while, of how grotesque to make the initial ghost + the later higher cultivation form. But basically the kiln and everything would count them as one ghost, probably a dual title too. They'd be like a myth amongst the realms, retreating to a comfortable mountain peak with bamboo, occassionally off to hunt down slavers.

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A wip

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I just went on #traumacore for the first time in months and huh QiJiu really would fit every post

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i'm so sorry but i needed to procrastinate studying: go junji ito route: make them into pointy spirals nail technician route: make humans grow NAILS like finger nails on every surface of their skin sexy: make the warts moan when they pop. make people's bodies get covered by splashes of colours, making the society start dressing in sheer, white fabrics that lets others see there is no colour on them

computer how do i make a succinct supernatural horror metaphor for smallpox without it turning into a tgcf ripoff