onyx-2323 - Tumblr blog

onyx-2323 · 2 years ago

Text

An Adeptus' Last Wish~ Zhongchi fic

(1/30)

More chapters here!<333

Summary-

After the Gnosis incident, Childe decides to take a much-needed break away from Zhongli.

However, how was he supposed to react, when all of a sudden Lumine showed up outside his apartment sounding terribly mortified, "Childe......Zhongli.......Zhongli....is in grave danger."

Of course, he was going to do anything to help the dying man.

Sure, he still felt a lot of contempt for him, after what he did, but his heart still loved him.....

But, what he hadn't expected was the sudden wisp of golden light that somehow transported him during the times of the Archon War?!

What the FUCK?!

_________________________

Chapter 1: A Bitter Beginning

Childe’s days went by, and soon enough the memory of molten gold eyes and flowing dark hair were gone. They were no longer sweet memories that he hoped to take back with him to Snezhnaya, instead they were bittersweet and left a lonely feeling in his chest.

Zhongli had walked into his repetitive existence with a simple handshake and a smile, “Greetings, I’m Zhongli, Wangsheng Funeral Parlor Consultant. It appears that I will be your guide from here on out.”

As he gazed into those entrancing eyes, those warm molten eyes…...he knew that he didn’t stand a chance.

He tried to contain the occasional flutter of his heart; like a sick staccato meant to mock him. He tried to ignore the warmth he felt when Zhongli would gaze at him with a fond soft expression. He tried to ignore the subtle touches on his hand or back that would cause his brain to malfunction. He tried to ignore the way he would want to take all of Zhongli’s laughs and smiles all for himself. He tried to ignore the way he wanted the man, so desperately, even if he knew he could never.

They were only supposed to be business partners and nothing else.

But, even so, Childe allowed the foolish part of his brain to trick him into letting his guard down and even encouraging him to feel such emotions. For the first time in a long while, he felt as if he could trust this encyclopedia of a man.

Tartaglia obviously opposed this, being conditioned to fight and guard his inner most sensitive parts.

Don’t do it, you’ll only get hurt…..were only words that Childe chose to ignore, preferring to indulge himself in the warmth of Zhongli’s eyes.

He knew it should’ve been a trap; something too good to be the truth.

He had seen the Traveler running into the Golden House, and so, with his own curiosity overtaking him, he followed.

___________________________

It was a mistake.

One that he wished he could take back.

He had decided to hide behind the entrance of the Golden House, and decided to eavesdrop instead.

La Signora was talking with someone…..and she had called them Morax…

Morax replied….and was that Zhongli?!

He rushed in, and his stomach dropped.

Zho-No-Morax was handing his Gnosis over to La Signora, “A contract to end all contracts.”

La Signora’s facial expressions changed from an already arrogant smile to a venomous grin, she had noticed his presence there, and knew…..

That was one of the things he hated about La Signora (besides her whole existence of course). She was annoyingly perceptive; she could tell from a mile away what his facial expression indicated.

It was the face of bitter betrayal.

He was confused for a minute, he couldn’t believe what was happening, “What is the meaning of this? What’s going on?”

La Signora’s smile seemed to grow even more, to the point where it was downright inhumane, “It seems our dear Tartaglia is quite confused, wouldn’t you say Morax?” She gestured towards Morax who remained still.

Childe’s confusion then turned into unbridled rage, " Quit your fucking games, Signora! What the hell is going on here!”

La Signora burst into laughter, further fueling the embarrassment he now felt. Morax remained silent, only occasionally guiltily switching his gaze from Childe to the floor.

“It is exactly what it seems.....While you were caught up in your arrogance and having fun playing the villain card, you were too ignorant to see what was under your nose the whole time. You were never supposed to retrieve the Gnosis. Our Tsaritsa simply sent you out, as a distraction of sorts…I mean come on, Tartaglia…it was to be expected. After all, I was always the one to get things done, that’s why the Tsaritsa personally requested me to babysit you.”

Tartaglia shook with rage, barely holding back the angry tears that threatened to spill down his face, “..Signora!”

He threw himself at her. Without thinking, the irrational part of his brain took control of him. However, even he knew that he was no match for Signora, not right now at least. He had just fought the Traveler with the Foul Legacy. He was outmatched and it only showed, when she easily sidestepped his punch, laughing all the while.

“Now, now, Tartaglia, you aren’t being fair. I’m not the one you should be mad at, the man who betrayed you is standing right in front of you.....It’s not like I was the one who forced him to give up his gnosis, he willingly agreed to it.”

Childe stilled, and finally turned to hold Zhongli’s guilt ridden expression, he could tell she was telling the truth…his heart shattered.

He had suffered great humiliation and shame all for the sake of one man alone…who wasn’t even a mortal man.

It was stupid, he was stupid.

Why couldn’t he have seen what was clearly in front of his eyes the whole entire time? Zhongli knew too much about Liyue’s history to simply be a mortal man, he could have also sworn his hair glowed in the dark (but Childe only chalked it up to be the trick of his eyes or the light). He had played Childe perfectly like a guzheng; he was only another pawn for his own benefit.

Childe allowed himself to be strung along with the soft smiles and long nightly conversations under the starry sky. He allowed himself to be fooled by such a beautiful person. He had willingly been seduced by a siren; knowing he was going to be eaten in the end.

He had played an unpredictable game called love, and he had lost.

He hurried out of there, only Lumine and Paimon’s worried voices called out to him.

La Signora could tell the flash of misery in Morax’s gaze but didn’t comment on it, and instead almost commended his effort to appear unphased for the rest of their conversation. The Traveler and Paimon looked wide-eyed and almost pitiful as they stared the direction from where Childe had run out of.

Signora almost felt bad for her heartbroken lovesick co-worker…...almost.

_______________________

After the humiliation that was the whole Gnosis situation, Childe decided to spend the rest of his time in Liyue stuck in his apartment and occasionally taking out his frustrations on nearby Hilichurl camps…sometimes even Ruin Guards…

To be honest, he practically took out his anger and hurt feelings onto anything that crossed his path. To the point where occasionally exhaustion overtook him and he would pass out in the middle of the forest, only to then wake up floating in water.

His heart had not expected Zhongli to walk into his life.

Up until that point, his life had the same routine: Wake up, go on a mission, kill, rinse, repeat.

He was the Tsaritsa’s Vanguard after all.

That was almost something he was especially ordered to do, on a regular basis. He had no time to consider his own feelings, or take others into consideration. That wasn’t something he had time for, in his line of work. Even spending time with his family had become a mission in itself. He had to charm people with his boyish charm, and then kill them afterwards. It was the same for every mission.

The stupid idea of love and potentially settling down had never been a priority to him.

It never has been and it will never be one.

However, ever since he stared back into those cor lapis eyes, they seemed to drag him in; like a bug caught in a cobweb.

He was trapped before he knew it.

Zhongli had single-handedly managed to rip him out of the mediocrity that was his life and had shown him what it felt like to be cared for and loved. Every single passing gaze, every light touch, every story, every smile......made him feel something.

For the first time, ever since he had fallen into the Abyss, he felt like perhaps he was worthy enough to have a close relationship with someone. The void in his heart was finally going to get filled up with something as simple as human connection and he craved it.

And occasionally he would day-dream about how a domestic life would be with Zhongli: would he hold him through his gut-wrenching nightmares, whisper sweet nothings into his ear, would he manage to understand him, love him for everything that he is, kiss him gently through his tears, propose to him one day during a day spent on the beach, would their marriage ceremony be as beautiful as he thought, would he trace over his scars lightly with his fingertips, would he call him gorgeous, would he love him even after they were old, would he treasure every last memory after he died?

All of these childish thoughts were thrown out, as soon as the truth was figured out.

The truth was; Zhongli never considered him a friend nor could he ever love him. The only reason he had gotten closer to Childe was because he saw him as a pawn in his twisted game of chess. He never saw him as anything more than a pawn.

He was only a pawn, not a friend, not a lover, not an enemy.

He was a pawn.

Somehow, that information only managed to make his chest hurt even more, was he ever considered worthy enough to be Zhongli’s…...anything?

He no longer felt the seething anger in his veins. After all, his anger was simply a cover up for the embarrassment he felt, which only served as a deeper cover up about how hurt he truly felt.

However, even Childe knew he could not dwell on such stupid fleeting emotions; it was bound to happen.

Tartaglia had warned him, but he turned a blind eye to it all.

He was the one who was wrong.

_________________________

A month had passed, and Ajax was only counting the days after his departure from Liyue. He wanted to leave the burning humiliation and hurt behind in Liyue.

And hopefully never return to the dreaded city ever again.

He watched as the people from outside of his apartment window passed and how joyful they looked. A sharp contrast to how miserable Ajax felt.

He was almost jealous of how free they looked; was this the same feeling the Anemo Archon wanted for his people, because Ajax was envious.

He tore his gaze from the window, and looked down to the unfinished letters from his newest letter to Tonia and Teucer. He had lost motivation to do anything, and according to Ekaterina, ‘went into a depression,’ whatever that meant.

He didn’t know what false stories to make up; what fantastical white-lies to make up from his trip as a ‘Toy Salesman’ in Liyue. The letter had only begun with: Dear Tonia & Teucer…

Before he had scribbled the rest of whatever he was beginning to write out; it was hopeless.

He was hopeless, and he wanted to leave.

However, he didn’t have time to hold onto self-pity before a knock rang out, startling him enough from his deprecating thoughts. A strange glimmer of desperation seemed to resurface from his bitter thoughts…was that?

He ran towards the door, and opened it, in hopes to see a man dressed in black attire with golden accents, with those same molten eyes, and comforting baritone voice….only to meet a pair of concerned amber eyes….

Lumine?

_____________________

Ajax slapped on Childe and smirked down at Lumine, “Oh, hey! Fancy seeing you here, are you finally ready for a rematch?”

Lumine stared up at Childe, as if she wasn’t buying the fake pleasantries. Childe could never fool Lumine, not since he had met her. Nothing would ever slip by her.

However, instead of looking irritated or even angry (considering they had fought not even a month ago), she looked alarmed. Next to her, was Paimon, who similarly looked alarmed and…scared?

What was going on?

Lumine looked hesitant and parted her lips several times to speak, she looked terrified.

Childe quirked his eyebrow, wondering what had caused Lumine to look like someone had died, “...What’s..wrong?”

Paimon’s eyes began to flood with tears and soon enough they started to fall freely from her face. But, she didn’t say anything and instead chose to sob into Lumine’s shoulder.

Lumine still looked hesitant and similarly had tears clinging to her eyelashes, “Childe...do you not know?”

Now, he was really confused? What didn’t he know? What the hell had happened ever since he was gone to elicit such a strong reaction from Lumine?

Childe released a soft laugh, mostly out of nerves, “Know about what?”

Lumine looked even more choked up, her eyes widening almost comically, “You really don’t know…Childe…...Zhongli…...Zhongli is in grave danger.”

Now, it was Childe’s turn to be surprised. What the hell did she mean by grave danger?

The last time he had seen the ex-archon, he seemed to be perfectly fine. In fact, he had seen him only 5 days ago, walking down the street smiling and laughing happily with Lumine and Xiangling?

What the hell changed?

Was this some sort of sick joke?

No, Lumine’s reaction seemed too real for that to be true.

He felt his chest start to clench, and his own eyes start to burn; his nerves fully taking him over, “W-hat do you mean?”

Lumine wiped at her damp eyes with her sleeve, before straightening herself out, “He collapsed 3 days ago, and he’s….dying..”

The full severity of the situation came crashing down onto Childe.

The irony of the situation was too much to handle; of course the bastard had to start dying just when Childe was about to leave. Of course, just when he was starting to get over him.

Childe remained silent for a minute, blinking back the rushing myriad of different conflicting emotions that danced around freely in his head. It was too much to handle, and suddenly he felt himself growing mad.

Mad at himself, mad at Morax, mad at the world.

Mad at everything.

The cruel irony was too much, and he wanted to scream.

But, he didn’t and instead looked back at Lumine, who only continued, “He’s inviting all of the people he cares for friends, acquaintances and family to talk with him one more time. And…he umm…asked for you…”

Childe soaked in the new information; Zhongli had asked for him, personally.

But, why?

He nodded, Lumine continued, “He’s…..bedridden…..right now…and uhh..I-I..hope..you can..come.. I know things didn’t end on the best note, and I know this isn’t fair. But, he’s asked for you…and I promised him, I would bring you to him.”

Lumine stared up at him, desperation clear in her gaze. Paimon was still sobbing into her shoulder, not even looking at Childe.

He pushed aside his feelings, and nodded lightly; earning a soft watery smile from Lumine.

_____________________

He looked worse than Childe had expected.

Sure, he had seen his fellow fatui soldiers seriously injured in his lifetime; and had even been the one with the extreme injuries…but, this was a sight he wasn’t sure he could handle.

Zhongli's usual golden eyes were tight shut, his complexion was eerily pale, and he looked fragile; like porcelain plates. He looked weak to the touch, so much so, that Childe almost couldn’t bring himself to touch him.

This was the last place he would have thought he would meet up with Zhongli again.

He never expected to see someone so radiant, on their deathbed. Someone who was supposed to be immortal and all-knowing, just what had happened. And, why was the terrible voice in the back of his head urging him to crack his neck between his fingers.

Lumine had led him inside of Zhongli’s house, leading him towards his room (like he didn’t already know). Paimon still clinging onto her neck, sobbing not nearly as loud as before.

Zhongli looked a mess, his hair was tangled, his eye bags were heavy, and he looked tired. A particular strand of hair was laying on the side of his cheek, and Ajax unconsciously tried to reach out to tuck it behind his ear.

But, before he could do that, he was interrupted by a slap to his hand.

He looked up and was met with similar molten eyes, but these looked like they could pierce through your very soul; it was Lumine’s friend…that green adeptus..

He eyed Childe up angrily, looking as if he was about to pierce his chest with that spear he carried in his other arm. If the situation was different, then perhaps, Childe would’ve challenged him to a spar, but for some strange reason, he didn’t.

“Why the fuck are you here! Abyssal creature!” the adeptus yelled out, furious.

Lumine immediately rushed to the adeptus’ side and put hands between the two of them, “Xiao…please..”

Xiao looked conflicted as he looked between Lumine and Childe, not sure what to do. But, he didn’t do anything and instead looked away, looking somber himself, “I don’t know why you brought him here, he nearly drowned all of Liyue Harbor! He’s the reason…”

He paused and looked towards Zhongli, before looking back with murderous intent evident in his eyes, “He’s the reason my lord managed to obtain that absurd disease!”

What disease? What was he talking about?

Lumine looked somberly towards Zhongli, “Xiao…please…Zhongli himself insisted on bringing him here, please .”

Xiao huffed before he pointed his spear towards Childe, “Try anything funny, and I’ll cut your vocal cords out,” before he vanished into a puff of anemo.

_____________________

Soon, after Xiao left, more of Zhongli’s adepti friends (family) came, all bringing gifts with them.

The first one that came was Ganyu, she had brought a bracelet made from Qingce flowers and wrapped it gently around his fragile hand. She had spared a single glance towards Childe, but somehow it did not seem to hold any contempt like Xiao’s. Instead, it seemed to hold a look Childe could not place his finger on; that same look she had gave him the first time they had met.

She knelt by the side of his bed, and regularly felt his pulse, before another adeptus by the name of Madam Ping showed up. Ajax felt like the air in the room was suffocating him, and yet, he couldn’t leave yet. He had to wait until Zhongli woke up to tell him whatever he was supposed to.

He felt like leaving, and he probably would have already done so, if not for Lumine being in the room.

Madam Ping showed up soon enough, as well as 2 crane-like adeptus and a deer-like adeptus.

Madam Ping looked at Childe with great sympathy in her gentle eyes and that same familiar gaze as Ganyu, “You must be Childe, I suppose.”

Childe nodded, and instantly felt the stares of many adepti at once, which all looked at him with a different combination of stares.

The tall blue-crane looked at him up and down and exclaimed, “So, this is the human our lord has chosen…the traitor who nearly caused Liyue harbor to sink? Our lord always had strange tastes."

They all came to the same realization at the same time, and soon enough they started to eye him with the same contempt Xiao had. Another adeptus screeched out, “Our lord must be crazy, going for this one of all people!”

They all seemed to agree, “Yes, yes, what the hell was our lord thinking! Even going as far as to contract this disease, all because of this human?”

“Yes, this one can’t believe how blasphemous this whole situation is.”

Madam Ping sighed, “We must respect our lord’s decision, we can’t argue like this. Especially when his body is under a lot of stress.”

They all quieted down, but still eyed Childe with a burning hatred he was sure he had never seen before, “Ganyu, how are his meridians?”

Ganyu looked up before she delicately placed his hand back down, “They are still intact but they are losing energy..” Madam Ping made her way toward Zhongli before leaning down and taking his hand as well. She pressed her fingers against his wrist, and nodded, “Yes, that seems to be the case......The situation does not seem to be good.”

Childe finally mustered up the courage to ask, what had been gnawing at his chest, “If I may ask.....what is wrong with him exactly?”

His sentence seemed to cause great confusion if not outrage amongst the several adepti. However, they did not voice out their thoughts, and instead waited for Madam Ping to answer.

She took a long breath before answering, “Rex Lapis or Zhongli as you know him, is suffering from a disease that debilitates the body and only affects archons. It does not have a name, but it is something we have been noticing within the first couple of archon’s whose gnoses have been ripped away from them. Now, normally, archon’s do not need their gnoses to survive, however, when faced with extreme stress and long periods of exposure to miasma or abyssal energy, they are corrupted. Without their gnoses they are rendered weak to the exposure long-term and will eventually perish if they do not have their gnoses. We wrote a letter to your Tsaritsa and requested to give his gnosis back, however.....it appears like his gnosis has vanished.”

Childe was stunned.

Morax's gnosis vanished?!

How?

He cleared out his throat before he said, “How was he exposed to miasma and abyssal energy? What happened to him?”

“It’s my fault,” Lumine spoke, voice small and shaky, unlike the bold and serious voice she usually had.

He turned around to look at her, waiting for her to continue, “....We were out completing the Adventurer’s Guild missions in Qingce Village, when....he suddenly got attacked by a horde of rift wolves. I tried to fend them off as best as I could but they kept coming out. I warned Zhongli against fighting them alone, but he told me to evacuate the rest of the villagers. I agreed and…”

Lumine looked down in shame and Childe almost wanted to give her a hug.

Madam Ping beat him to it, however, whispering reassuring words to Lumine; who had begun to cry silently, “....Calm down, child. It was not your fault, our Lord knew what he was getting himself into when he fought them. Do not blame yourself.”

“It wasn’t your fault. It was his!” Xiao had appeared out of nowhere again, and similarly looked like he wanted to kill him, “If he hadn’t left my lord, then perhaps my lord wouldn’t have been so reckless.”

Madam Ping turned towards him, and she must have had a terrifying expression because Xiao backed away from Childe, “Xiao, it is not his fault, please, quell your anger.....How many times do I have to remind all of you? We promised our Lord we would take care of him in his absence. It’s our duty as adepti to follow our Lord’s orders in his absence, we must respect his wishes and protect this mortal with our lives. After all.....that is our duty.”

All of the adepti nodded, as if they had been reprimanded like children.

However, Xiao was still an unruly child and still refused, “I understand that, Madam Ping. However, you did not see my lord after this abyssal scum left him! He looked eerily lost and did things he had never done before, just like all those years ago....I tried to reason with him, but he was too far off. And then, he did that reckless move and got himself endangered. How can you say I can’t blame him!”

The room fell silent, but it was all interrupted by a soft cough.

Zhongli had awoken.

________________________________

All of a sudden, the adepti surrounded him, all looking terribly concerned and distantly somber. Zhongli looked joyful despite his sickly appearance, and regarded them with the most beautiful of smiles, “Cloud Retainer, Mountain Shaper, Moon Carver, Adeptus Xiao, Madam Ping, Ms. Lumine, I’m glad to see you here.”

Thankfully, Zhongli had not noticed a certain fiery haired man yet.

Cloud Retainer pecked at Zhongli’s head, careful to not cause him actual harm, “This one is very cross with you. How could you have fought all of those beasts without calling for us, do you consider us as being below your abilities now? This one may be old, but one still has their combat abilities.”

Zhongli chuckled lightly, “I do not doubt your abilities, Cloud Retainer…I was not thinking, when I did it. And I hope you all can forgive me for my reckless actions.”

Cloud Retainer sighed heavily and patted his head gently, “One guesses one can forgive you.”

Ganyu smiled and stood up, “What she means is that she has been worried sick about you my lord.”

Cloud Retainer immediately begins to start poking Ganyu, “Insolent child, don’t you dare speak against your elders!”

She eventually calmed down and placed a small incense burner in the shape of Rex Lapis and it started to produce a very pleasant smell, like sandalwood and silk flowers. Zhongli's usual preferred perfume that Ajax committed to memory every time he smelled the familiar scent on the nearby perfume stalls. He figured that Cloud Retainer had brought the familiar scent in order to calm him down. He had experienced for himself how calming that aroma could be, "This one brought some incense to help lessen the aroma of the dead in here."

Zhongli chuckled heartily (although the other Adepti seemed scandalized by her statement, but did not say a word about it). His eyes seemed to display a certain fond warmness that Ajax selfishly hoped he would be the subject of once more, "Thank you, Cloud Retainer. You have been a great friend and have served Liyue and it's people well."

She huffed and stepped aside, murmuring something ineligible, allowing for the other adepti to give out their gifts. Moon Carver and Mountain Shaper then stepped up and set down a pot of what appeared to be Bamboo Shoot Soup.

Zhongli’s favorite, Ajax remembered.

Moon Carver spoke up first, “My Lord, we hope you will like what we have brought you. We will promise to protect him, with all of our might......Even if he is quite unsavory.”

Zhongli stared fondly at them before he smiled, “Thank you Moon Carver, Mountain Shaper. I really appreciate it.”

Then, it was Xiao’s turn to give Zhongli something, it was a vile of pain medicine (Childe had recognized the bottle immediately, Zhongli had once explained to him that the medicine is only meant to be used for injuries in Adepti, much to Childe’s dismay.)

“My Lord, I have brought some medicine for you.....I hope it will bring my Lord some relief from the pain he must feel.”

Zhongli nodded and patted Xiao’s hand with the only mobility he had left in his hands, “Thank you, my Vigilant Yaksha, you have served me well.”

Xiao nods, though he looks slightly sheepish.

Zhongli turns towards Lumine, who still has red rimmed eyes, “Ms. Lumine, I appreciate all you have done for me, thank you.”

Lumine shakes her head, “No, I haven’t done anything to deserve appreciation. However.....I did complete the thing I......promised you.”

Zhongli’s eyes widen and he almost stands up in his bed way too fast, he clenches his teeth in sharp pain. Xiao immediately comes to his side, already pulling the cap off of the medicine and pouring it onto a spoon, “My Lord, please, have some of this.”

Zhongli complies and takes the medicine before he glances over to where Childe is standing awkwardly, “Ajax…you have come..”

All of a sudden, he is the center of attention once more and he can feel the stares of the other adepti boring into him, “...Yeah..”

He tensely walks towards Zhongli, and begrudgingly the other adepti allow him to go by Zhongli’s side. Zhongli’s gaze grows guilty and his eyes water with unshed tears, “My dearest Ajax, I seem to have hurt you deeply.....When I made that contract with La Signora, I never thought that I would grow to cherish and love our time together. I never thought I would grow as close to you, as I did. I never meant to hurt you, but I had to make a choice. Either my own heart, or Liyue’s people. It has been the hardest decision I have ever made in my life, but I had to choose my people. I am.....truly sorry, I should have never lied about my true identity, but with the contract already in motion......I could not turn back what was already sealed in stone.....However....I hope you will be able to forgive me,” he looked at Ajax with soft glowing tears leaving his somber eyes.

Childe let out a shaky breath, “This is......really unfair Zhongli. You know, normally I would have challenged you to a duel, in order to settle any bad blood between us. But, with you being in the state you are in, I can’t. I-I still haven’t forgiven you. You lied to me and used me as a pawn Zhongli, do you have any idea how hurt I felt after the whole situation. But, I don’t want you to die. Why couldn’t you have at least waited until I got over my anger? It’s…really unfair Xiansheng.”

Ajax feels his eyes begin to water as soft tears begin to fall out of his eyes onto the soft silk sheets below, leaving behind small round imprints on the covers.

Zhongli looked distraught as he brought a soft hand to Ajax’s cheek, brushing away the tears, “I am.....truly and irrevocably sorry. I know it is not fair to you my dearest treasure and I wished that I could have given you more time to fully process the weight of my identity and...continued on our path.......However, I-....I can not do anything to stop what is happening inside of my body.....I am dying and my Gnosis has disappeared with no trace of it anywhere in Teyvat......I can not prevent what is destined to happen. I wish I could have been better towards you my dearest, I am so sorry.”

Ajax begins to cry harder and he no longer cares for the mild embarrassment he feels from all of the surrounding adepti watching him.

His tears fall freely now, like a cruel but sweet cascade.

___________________________

Ajax doesn’t know when he left.

After Zhongli had stroked his cheeks a couple of more times, something in him seemed to snap, and he suddenly yanked away Zhongli’s gentle calloused hands.

He couldn’t be there any longer, he couldn’t sit there and cry his heart out, while the god loved so much died of some stupid disease that did not have a cure. He went on a rampage and ran towards the nearest forest and killed whatever he could find.

It no longer mattered.

Just before Childe could forgive the man, just when he was starting to heal and move on from him.

He just had to begin to die?

It seemed too cruel to name and soon enough his tears mixed with blood.

Whose blood, he didn’t know, nor did he care. His ears were ringing and his mind was floating; it no longer seemed to matter. He wanted to scream out and curse the world. He wanted to scream at himself, when the person he loved the most was in danger, he was too busy moping around by some stupid betrayal that nearly didn’t even count as one.

It was unfair.

All he could hear now was the crushing of bones and warm blood that splashed his face. He sat down the nearest tree he could find, away from the trail of blood he had left behind on the once clean grass. He rested his tired body against it, and tried to not let himself sob too loudly.

However, he was unsuccessful and soon enough, he started to bawl just like he did at 14 years old when he first fell down The Abyss. He was the same scared child who wanted it all to be a terrible nightmare and closed his eyes in an attempt to block out his surroundings, but was scared when he opened them and they were still there.

He cried and cried and cried, until there were no more tears left to be shed, and he curled up against the tree and closed his tired eyes.

Perhaps, if he tried hard enough, it would be a dream?

A terribly twisted dream.

_____________________________

“Would you be willing to.....save Morax?......I wish to save him, can you do that for me, Ajax?” A distant sweet voice called out.

Ajax nodded, tiredly opening his eyes to notice a woman standing right before him; dressed in qixiong ruqun, her long brown hair flowing down, her smile gentle. He wasn’t sure who this mysterious woman was, but he sensed a strange feeling of warmth when she was around, and he wanted to somehow chase that comforting feeling.

She laughed lightly before he patted his head, “All right then. Save him for me, Ajax.”

He was about to ask how, when she touched his forehead lightly, and all of a sudden; Childe could not see anything else but a bright golden light surrounding him.

When he came to, the light was gone, and in its place was a place he did not recognize; as well as a set of familiar golden molten eyes staring curiously at him.

Where was he?

(More chapters on AO3, under the name: Onyx_23!)

13 notes · View notes