orlys-grotto

[orlys-grotto]

My mother: why is your face twitching

Me: I'm stressed af and I need to rest

My mother: I don't believe you what are you hiding

Me: ?????

My mother: you know you look like you're an addict about to have a nervous breakdown

Me: because I am STRESSED AND NEED TO BE ALONE

*Later, in my room*

My mother, coming in my room and refusing to leave: tell me what's wrong with you

Me: I told you I NEED TO BE ALONE

[orlys-grotto]

Story-time of how my mother tried destiny swapping with me!

Trigger warnings: mention of past suicidal thoughts, depression, emotionally immature parents, destiny swapping

Idk what it is but I feel like when I'm healing it triggers my mother because why does she scream bloody murder everyday now when she was rosy as peaches when I was depressed and wanted to off myself. Also I find it funny how since I started listening to a reverse destiny swapping subliminal she out of the blue started acting like this.

In hindsight it kind of makes sense though because she was a super orthodox jew all the time when I was growing up and then when she found out I was a witch she suddenly started going to botanicas and doing spells. She'd also buy metaphysical books for herself but when I asked for my own she told me I didn't need to get any because I could use hers. It's fucking weird. Also when she started practicing magick I lost interest in spirituality and nature and couldn't figure out what was wrong with me because I've always been spiritually connected growing up.

Now she's married to a Christian man and she hasn't touched anything metaphysical since they met. Lol

Anyway since I did the reverse destiny swapping I've been getting my spiritual connection and creativity back and I actually have been doing magick for the first time in over a decade. Meanwhile my mother's constantly losing her shit now and it fucking sucks to be around but I'll be married in a month so I won't have to deal with this anymore ✌️

Destiny swappers really be coming from anywhere.

[orlys-grotto]

Istg telling your abusive parents whatever they want to hear and then doing what you actually want to do is such a feeling of power

Literally my mother got so angry with me for signing into my phone account (I'm almost 29 y'all) and cut off my access to my account so I couldn't see how much things were costing, and then screamed at me about how dare I make changes without asking her and I was like "you know what, I'm sorry, you're absolutely right and I had no business trying to look at my phone information 🥺 I'll never do it again, sorry" and she's like "it's okay, we learned to do better, right?" And I'm like, "yes, you're right." And shes like "good, thank you." And walks away calmly

Like literally she treats me like a child, but she's the one throwing a temper tantrum when I want to know about my finances. 🙄

[orlys-grotto]

Remember, if you ever don't know what to write for a college assignment, turn off your personal filter. I spend my assignments using them as free therapy and my professors are Very Concerned but I have 100% on all my assignments soooooo

[orlys-grotto]

If you have trouble remembering all the beef two historical figures had for your exam, just start shipping them.

I am not joking.

They hated each other before their coalition? Enemies to lovers. One of them was assassinated? Right person wrong time. They have portraits/photos together? They must’ve fought the urge to hold hands.

You’ll be surprised by how easy their lore becomes to remember

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As a gray-ace, I may be kinkier than I thought. FFN lemon culture raised me and when my fiancé said he wasn't a freak I was ready to go rabid

[orlys-grotto]

When you were raised jewish but you're a gnostic pagan now and your mother's abusive behavior has earned her a new name in your contacts list

[orlys-grotto]

Being emotionally unstable is fun bc I can always tell when I forgot to take my meds

[orlys-grotto]

Tfw your music is inspired by the Steven Universe BGM and oliviaway's ambience on bandcamp but your music sounds like it's straight out of a liminal horror movie 🥴🫠

[orlys-grotto]

I finally bought The Coffin of Andy and Leyley on Steam, and I'm really excited! The game looks so good ❤️

[orlys-grotto]

Musings from my morning pages for April 10th, 2025.

A tree of money is not really a tree of money, but a tree of happiness. When you feel good, good things happen. Working to get money out of desperation or fear only makes you feel stifled and choked out, a desperation to provide for yourself. But in that desperation, you are killing yourself, and tending to others gardens (trying to appeal or impress others for money), instead of watering your own. When you don't take care of yourself, you cannot flourish, and the beauty and talent that is hidden inside you will not grow.

Let go of the fear and desperation to find what really sings to you, and you will find so much more than you wanted. Money and happiness are highly linked, and if you are to make money in a way that feels good to you, you must learn to be happy and to let yourself be happy. And when you find something that you love and love doing, let yourself do it. If anyone tells you that you cannot make money doing what you love, look at their own level of abundance and decide if you really want to believe them.

__________

Money doesn't always buy happiness, but happiness will most definitely buy you money.

[orlys-grotto]

It's a simple fact of life that doing things that make you happy is good for your health and your heart.

Source: I looked at ethereal and cottagecore pics all day and on discord tonight my fiançé told me that I "sound so fragile and dainty" because I spoke in such a relaxed way 🧚‍♀️🩰💆‍♀️

[orlys-grotto]

I think journaling is a good way to expel brainrot because you can still be mentally deranged on paper, and when you're done everyone is conviced you're normal because you got all the brainrot out.

There is no losing here.

[orlys-grotto]

It's a little ridiculous how I have to use an apk to make tumblr usable. But not much else I can do about it.