overthinkingalchemist

[overthinkingalchemist]

END OF EVANGELION – Opening Up to The Importance of Consent

Essay. May contain: Spoilers for Neon Genesis Evangelion, The End of Evangelion, discussion of toxic relationships, sexuality, consent, abuse, mental health and depression

1. Shinji’s Internal World

The amount of works of fiction and literature about human connections, familial bonds, sexuality, intimacy, depression and coming of age is absolutely off the charts by this point. But to tackle all those themes simultaneously, with a deeply philosophical, disturbing, and introspective atmosphere, in a stylized world with mechas… it’s easy to see why Neon Genesis Evangelion is one of a kind. In the series, we follow the young 14y/o Shinji Ikari as he needs to pilot a giant “mecha” to protect his futuristic version of Tokyo from the terrifying monsters known as Angels. Shinji’s struggles, however, are never as much in the battlefield as they are in his mind. As he grapples with the horrors of the real world and his burden as an EVA pilot, what truly causes his suffering is his deep-rooted shame that brings him issues with self-confidence and intimacy.

“It is implied (or explicitly stated) […] that one can create their own reality through the way they choose to see the world around them. And in Shinji’s depressed world, every misstep or failure is a new load for his debilitated self-esteem to carry.”

With those psychological elements at play, the original series heavily emphasizes the importance of opening oneself up to others — but that entails being open to rejection, disappointment and hurt. It is implied (or explicitly stated) during the Instrumentality sequences that one can create their own reality through the way they choose to see the world around them. And in Shinji’s depressed world, every misstep or failure is a new load for his debilitated self-esteem to carry. All he wants is to learn what his own value and place in the world are, and he seeks to do that by obtaining external validation from his peers, mentors and, most importantly, his absent father. Shinji thinks that, by performing well as an EVA pilot, he can find his happiness through praise and approval. But when that seems like too tall of a task for him to accomplish, he is quick to question himself and consider giving up… multiple times. But it makes sense. NGA is tonally heavy and solemn, which perfectly encapsulates how our protagonist shapes his reality into something suffocating, oppressive. How could Shinji not cave when humanity fights an unfathomable battle for survival, and everyone hates him? Even if he beats this excruciating challenge, what is there for him to look forward in such a broken world?

As it turns out, Shinji’s views on his burden are indeed skewed by his lack of self-worth. People care for him, but through the thick mental fog that obfuscates his judgement it becomes very hard for him to see that. Since he fears others, the teenager isn’t willing to break through his shell and develop genuine interest in them. While not an element of this version of the story, Asuka Shikinami in the Rebuild version of NGA calls Shinji ‘selfish’ during one of his more severe depressive episodes, claiming that he shouldn’t be helped because he doesn’t care about anyone but himself. While it is something harsh to say about someone who is depressed, it has some logic to it; depression often leads to rumination and overthinking about one’s self worth while shutting the outside world away. It can be said that all that Shinji wants is to be saved by someone. He perceives himself as a victim, thereby believing he requires saving from a stronger and more resilient external source. But when that is the case, he neglects to consider the feelings and the rich inner worlds that each and everyone around him has — except for one case.

2. The Hedgehog Dilemma

The connections Shinji overlooks by retreating into himself are clear to the audience, but not so much for the naïve boy who has a severely negative image of himself. Rei Ayanami is a reserved girl and lacks the communication skills to externalize (or even understand) her feelings, but she is deeply moved by the times her battle partner showed her genuine care and worry. Shinji’s honest curiosity for her made everlasting impacts in their relationships that not even he was able to see. The moment Shinji hurried to check if Rei was safe, after she herself seemed unbothered with the prospect of her own death, was the most selfless and empathetic he’d been for someone. By the last stretch of episodes, we see that deep inside she has developed feelings for him and wants them to bond and ‘become one’, but due to her subtle softspoken nature, those feeling are never laid out in a way direct enough for him to understand them.

Asuka Soryu, on the other hand, is very similar to ‘idiot Shinji’ and, in many ways, they’re mirror images of each other. She is a girl with a complex past and deep-rooted issues with self-acceptance. To try to overcome her insecurities, fears, and haunting memories, she puts on a narcissistic mask by turning into an overachieving workaholic. Just like Shinji in his own world, Soryu’s focus is her own image, which she tries to sell as much as possible by trying to become the best EVA pilot she can be. Unfortunately for her, her strained relationship with her late mother affects her ability to pilot, making her fall behind Shinji and Rei in performance.

Asuka shows, at many points, a reluctant adolescent romantic interest in Shinji. She teases him, calls for his attention and seems to care a lot about his opinion of her. But in his bleak world, informed by his perceived unworthiness, her rude behavior is just one more of the day-to-day aggressions he feels that he essentially has (or deserves) to endure. Asuka then becomes unable to keep this social mask on as she feels rejected by both Shinji and her mother, falling into a state of hopelessness much like the boy’s — ironically, just as Shinji is starting to find his voice and defy his father.

Lastly, Shinji has Misato and his school friends on his side. His friends go out of their way to check on him and show support, while Misato displays honest motherly (or maybe a “big sister” kind of) affection towards Shinji, protecting him as much as possible and trying to guide the boy towards his own path. Her approach to tutoring still respects Shinji’s individuality by allowing him to follow the path he wants even when it contradicts NERV’s mission to fight the Angels. But this freedom, to him, is almost a burden; he wants to be told what to do, to be given a clear identity by someone else. He rejects Misato’s love because, again, he believes himself to be a weight, an inconvenience, for being inexperienced. As a way to not feel the weight of expectations on his shoulders and avoid disappointing those around him like he feels he inevitably will, Shinji prefers to withdraw. Much like the hedgehog dilemma that Dr. Akagi introduces, the boy creates distance to avoid hurt.

3. Teenage Sexuality and Intimacy

Sexuality is a crucial element in Evangelion’s storytelling. While it’s common for anime to sexualize teenage characters in weird and uncomfortable ways due to unclear audience targeting (or just out of plain malice), Neon Genesis Evangelion is clearly a series aimed at adults that uses sexuality as a meaningful psychological plot point. At a surface level, many scenes seem to evoke the usual anime tropes and present camera angles that sexualize Misato when she is sharing casual moments of bonding with Shinji at home. Similarly, Shinji shares awkward moments with the pilot girls, seeing more than what he’s supposed to see and getting into uncomfortable, “wacky”, situations, with both Rei and Asuka.

The sexual tones present in some scenes is not random and not an element that is supposed to “entice” the audience. Rather, sex and attraction in NGA are presented as some of the deepest forms of intimacy between two people. Physical connection is part of the human experience, and for a young teenager, it will inevitably be something that sparks curiosity. Shinji’s (and the audience’s) experiences with sexual imagery serve as elements that add another layer to his mindscape of questions, doubts, and self-discovery. So, what we are shown when it comes to nudity and physical highlighting is a glimpse at Shinji’s point of view — much like how the oppressive tone of the series is also informed by it.

Some of those moments can be shown at times of levity or have comical tones. However, many of them will instead be quite uncomfortable and not played for laughs. When Shinji enters Rei’s apartment uninvited and meets her naked, he is only met with her usual cold response, which only adds to his embarrassment and shame. As he tries to soften the atmosphere and spark conversation with her, the girl slaps him when they talk about his father, since both have very different experiences with Commander Ikari. Similarly, Shinji’s curiosity and attraction towards Asuka reaches a tense moment when he almost kisses her as she sleeps, leaving the audience on the edge wondering if he will cross a regrettable line.

In this way, sexuality in Evangelion turns into one more piece in Shinji’s puzzle of shame. His experiences with physical intimacy confuse him, because his newfound desires clash with his internal beliefs that push him to isolation. Both endings to the story dive into this to different degrees of depth. In the original final episodes, Shinji simply questions what it means to be close to someone as he ruminates over the “mixed signals” from the women in his life. In The End of Evangelion this takes a completely new (and messed up) perspective, being a key element of the film’s arc.

On a side note, I have no idea what the sexual imagery is supposed to represent in the Rebuild series of films. It feels like anime being anime for anime’s sake.

4. Shinji’s Sexuality in The End Of Evangelion

If I can toss my personal feelings into the mix for a bit, I have to say that I didn’t really know what to feel for a large chunk of The End of Evangelion's runtime. If NGA has a dark and oppressive atmosphere to it, it doesn’t even begin to compete with EoE's utterly hopeless cynicism. There is somewhat of a clashing tone in the violence and sexual imagery shown here compared to the series, as everything is more graphical and heavier than before. It feels cruel, even. Does all that serve a purpose? Is there any meaning to the edge? I’d say yes; EoE gives me many reasons to believe that its direction is not random and indeed builds up to a cohesive theme.

The film starts with the very infamous scene where Shinji, after trying to plead for help to Asuka’s unconscious body, ends up accidentally revealing her chest and masturbates to her. Throughout the rest of the movie, this action torments the boy to no end, who feels ashamed of his own behavior. As a war starts to break down at the NERV headquarters over Gendo Ikari’s Human Instrumentality plan, Shinji gives up on his life, seeing himself as someone irredeemable. He doesn’t understand his own desires, and when he acts on them, he does it in a wrong way. To get close, to isolate himself… both options hurt him, so he doesn’t know how to move on.

Shinji’s mistake gets him into the deepest pit his depression has seen yet, which brings us to another highly contentious plot point. As Misato finds Shinji, she saves the boy from certain death as he drags himself despondent, which ends up with the tutor getting fatally wounded by gunfire. Knowing Shinji’s struggles with intimacy, Misato kisses the boy on the lips — an “adult’s kiss”, as she calls it —, to give him a jolt of adrenaline and perspective to move on. In a way, Misato shows him that intimacy is attainable, and that it is not “wrong” for him to want it.

There is no romantic arc between the adult Misato and the young Shinji. She wonders, earlier in the series, if he fears women, concluding that he is actually afraid of getting close to anyone else. Misato then, in the film, invades the boy’s personal space to spark feelings on him. There is an extremely morally complex conflict in the realm of consent. Shinji is a kid, and his natural desires are being used and exploited by a grown-up. But at the same time, his self-destructive behavior hinders him from allowing himself to experience new things, so this can be seen as Major Katsuragi’s last-ditch effort to save mankind. By changing her hands-off approach to his guidance into something invasive, but poignant, she lets him see what is there to this other side of life, pushing him to live, whether he wants to or not.

If everything seen in the realm of sexuality sounds uncomfortable, it’s because it is. More than trying to find a right answer for Misato’s morals or excuse for hers and Shinji’s behaviors, this distressing awkwardness fits the questions posed in the hedgehog dilemma. As the characters try to break through their’s and each other’s shells, they hurt each other when they lose sight of where one’s boundaries end and other’s begin. Shinji is desperate over Asuka’s absence because, as established before, he doesn’t know who he is, or should be, apart from the approval of the ones who surround him. Alongside that, he wants to be saved by someone stronger and more self-assured. In the same way, Asuka craves approval and acknowledgement, which brings them to what is ultimately an extremely dysfunctional symbiotic bond.

It's important to understand generally the concept of the Human Instrumentality Project. While the more complex details of the lore do elude me, the general gist seems to be that, with some divine shenanigans, Gendo Ikari and some higher-ups at NERV want to turn humanity into one single organism, where their minds would be interconnected into a single consciousness. The idea is that, without the barriers between people, there would be no more hurt, and no more pain would be generated from dealing with the uncertainty of what could be in others’ minds.

The original series ends in what is essentially a therapy session for Shinji after humanity has fallen into Instrumentality. It’s unclear whether the process was reversed or not, but the boy seems to find peace in his place in the world. The film will also explore the concept of one’s place among others, but using the uncomfortable violence and sexual themes in, arguably, even more abstract and less direct ways. End of Evangelion is less ambiguous in its theming, however, as it seems to be an overall celebration of individuality.

5. A Celebration Of Individuality

A character we haven’t touched much on yet is Rei Ayanami. But that’s for a reason; Rei is a very mysterious character throughout most of the story, with light being shed on her past only near the very end. Entering a more fantastical sci-fi realm, her origins have her being a clone of Gendo Ikari’s (commander at NERV and Shinji’s father) wife, Yui, made with the goal of, somehow, starting the Instrumentality process and allowing Gendo to reunite with her after her soul became trapped in the EVA Unit 01. Rei is, for many intents and purposes, and as teased by Asuka, crafted as Ikari’s doll: a tool for his means, made artificially and treated like a machine, a possession of his.

Rei, then, carries an important weight to her character in the original series and The End Of Evangelion. To Shinji, she is like family. The favorite sibling who gets all the love and attention that he wants from his father. To Gendo, she is his obsession, his project and his only hope. As her maker and “husband”, he feels entitled to her body and her destiny.

Within the context of EoE, Rei’s arc is quintessential to build the cohesion in the theme of consent. ‘What would Rei Ayanami do?’ — for most of the story, the girl waits for her orders and for others to tell her how to act, not unlike Shinji. The boy, however, fears death and failure, so he can’t be the perfect machine that Ayanami can. Eventually, her experiences with Shinji make her realize that she has her own desires, and by the point Instrumentality comes, she rejects Gendo in favor of uniting with his son, leaving the commander out of his own paradise.

Through sexual imagery, the film explores the physical and psychological boundaries dissolving — quite literally. Ikari touches and invades Rei’s naked body, with his hands merging with her chest, as he takes what he feels he is owed. The girl, then, after never being asked her wants, severs ties with her role as a “doll” and decides to connect and become one with the boy that she actually wants. This connection with Shinji is, again, presented through abstract sexual imagery, as she is now finally able to realize her own desires and look for the intimacy she truly wants, merging physically and spiritually with him.

Ultimately, where everything ties together is within Shinji’s final decision. Despite suffering his whole life with feelings of inadequacy and a desperate need for the approval of others, he rejects Instrumentality. In the end, becoming one unified organism with mankind is a crutch: it won’t help him find himself and it won’t give him meaningful connections with others, because their individuality, what makes them who they are, is gone. These differences, these boundaries, are what give people their identities. And being truly interested in learning about others, embracing the discomfort that comes with uncertainty, and welcoming growing pains are things that give meaning to life. This is what he has been told during his conversations with his inner child and Rei during the mind train sequences.

“What is wrong with avoiding pain?”

And then we get to the final scene, Evangelion’s own beach episode. During Instrumentality, Rei ascends as a God-like being. Shinji and Asuka fight, with Asuka angry at Shinji for trying to use others’ approval to offset for his lack of confidence, instead of being genuinely interested in her. “Anyone would do for you”, she says. When both of them reject Instrumentality and end up on that fateful blood-red beach as what appears to be the last two humans on Earth, Shinji tries to strangle her to death. Asuka strokes his face gently, driving him to tears and stopping his aggression. Asuka then closes the series with the rawest and most poignant line there is: ‘How disgusting’.

What the hell does that scene mean? Some say Shinji did that to feel something “real”, to know that he was back into the real world as we know it. Some say Asuka’s line implies that she is angry at herself for liking Shinji and stroking his face. Supposedly the voice direction given to the actress was to react in a realistic way to Shinji’s action at the beginning of the film. So is this an ultimate rejection? Or just criticism directed at him in her usual snarky, but angrier, tone?

If we go back to theme of consent and its intersecting moments with the symbiotic nature of relationships, Shinji’s moment of aggression can be tied to anger at his insecurities and trying to exercise control over what he feels is a cause of many of them. Asuka left him feeling confused and inadequate, but she was still one of the people who could understand him the most. Torn between his admiration and fear for Asuka, while feeling irreversably intertwined to the girl, he decides to choke her, which would ultimately give him full power and control over her life. As Asuka strokes his face, she does something Shinji would never expect, perhaps making him realize that she is her own entity and that her body, her mind and her life are not his to own, control or take.

Its unclear what we can expect from Shinji and Asuka’s relationship moving forward, but either way, both are finally starting to find themselves and truly externalizing their feelings one way or another. Hopefully, they’ll find healthier ways to do so in the future.

Asuka’s last line, “How disgusting”, could be a rejection or it could be directed at herself for liking the contentious person that Shinji has become. Or it could be both. But more important than that, is the fact that it’s a line that exemplifies just how complex and nuanced human relationships are. So many unspoken feelings have been reduced to a single harsh line that brings up way more questions than answers. But that’s part of the fun: the fact that we can’t know what to fully expect from someone else, but we still have to make our own choices considering their individualities, their vast inner worlds and the uncertainty of dealing with those. This is what lies at the heart of Evangelion and it’s what could be the start of Shinji’s way out of his own depressed mind.

[overthinkingalchemist]

In Your Honor: Heartbreak Storytelling

"It's an album that appears to be telling a narrative: the story of a broken-hearted protagonist trying to navigate his confusing feelings in a lopsided relationship. Be it unrequited love or a toxic relationship, he struggles to get over this fractured connection that brings him anxiety and pain."

In Your Honor is, at first glance, your standard affair when it comes to Foo Fighters albums. Songs that speak in broad terms about feelings in relationships, with catchy guitar melodies, describe essentially the entire band’s discography. However, going back to it after the release of But Here We Are, an album with clear strong overarching themes of grief, made me appreciate the progression of emotions evoked in each of the songs a lot more. Particularly interesting is the fact that In Your Honor, in its first disc, seems to also have an overarching theme. It’s an album that appears to be telling a narrative: the story of a broken-hearted protagonist trying to navigate his confusing feelings in a lopsided relationship. Be it unrequited love or a toxic relationship, he struggles to get over this fractured connection that brings him anxiety and pain.

It all starts with the eponymous first track, In Your Honor — and it starts with the description of complete and utter devotion of the speaker towards this other party. And I mean some truly rock-bottom stuff; our guy is willing to outright DIE for them. There are no boundaries. As it is said in the lyrics “mine is your and yours is mine, there is no divide”. The protagonist doesn’t know who he is apart from the object of his devotion and he’s screaming towards the skies for anyone who’ll listen. Such is the emotional weight, that his life doesn’t matter apart from them.

“I will sacrifice In your honor, I would die tonight For you to feel alive”

No Way Back follows closely on the same track, but with a new sense of urgency. Maybe a bit of insecurity has creeped in, and now we’re looking for reassurance. Living in his head, pleading for a sign that he’s not fighting for nothing, he wants a response and some recognition for his love.

“I'm dying for truth Make me believe No more left and right, come on, take my side I'm fighting for you, I'm fighting for you”

It’s despair fueled by the thought that maybe things aren’t what they seemed to him. But the speaker has gone too far into his devotion, and he now knows it, but he’s still trying to bargain and get his acknowledgement. He is “breaking things” he “can’t repair”, because... well, there’s no way back from loving this person. The feelings are here and at full force, consuming his thoughts, in a borderline pathological sense.

Now, before paying close attention to the lyrics, the transition to Best of You can be a bit strange. At least sonically, it can feel like the album would flow better by going straight into DOA. But of course, in this narrative that we’re piecing together, there’s no better time for Best of You to come into play. This absolute ANTHEM represents the point of realization, where the protagonist comes to understand the one-sided nature of his love. And this realization is very much in everyone’s faces, as the first verse starts with a “confession” of how far they’ve fallen. In this moment of lucidity, there comes a want to break away from the chains that bind him to this unhealthy attachment. The protagonist feels like a fool, stuck between “life or death” — which is understandable after investing so much into something and getting your hopes suddenly swept off your feet. Seeing through the cracks, he wants to make an effort to regain his agency in life, validate his feelings, and heal. He uses chains, ropes, and death as analogies for the weight of his feelings, as he declares that this pain is a very real pain. And it is. Whether his agony is brought by his own doing as he obsesses over an unrequited love and feels hurt for being unwanted, or by being put-down by a toxic relationship, his feelings are real and need to be validated before he can go on a path of healing. It’s very appropriate for Best of You to be the most popular song from the album, as it perfectly encapsulates its feelings and conflict as a whole, bringing an intense and emotionally charged basis for it to build upon.

"He uses chains, ropes, and death as analogies for the weight of his feelings, as he declares that this pain is a very real pain. And it is."

DOA is a breaking point. Lover-guy has had it of his suffering and wants to tell everyone that he will move on. Imbued with some false confidence, even the song adopts a relatively fun, playful sound to represent this façade of a nonchalant attitude. But on top of that, a lot of aggression seeps in, as the protagonist antagonizes the other party (perhaps to make it easier to justify his feelings of hurt). After seeing through his situation, he regains a bit of his power, as he recognizes that he fell from grace, knows he must get out of this mental space and feels great for already taking the first steps to get away from it. And he does so by severing his ties to his love as best as he can for now.

“I'm finished, I'm getting you off my chest, made you come clean in a dirty dress” - Verse 2

“Take a good hard look for the very last time The very last one in a very long line Only took a second to say goodbye Been a pleasure, but the pleasure's been mine, all mine” -Verse 3

The following three songs seem to put the speaker in an anxious thought loop; they are a little chronologically disconnected, as if he is going back and forth on his thoughts as he tries to reframe his feelings, but he ends up getting caught further in them. The first one in the sequence is Hell, where the protagonist adopts an extremely cynical view on the relationship: “I’ll be right there, the buzz inside your head […] see you in hell”. Hell frames his experience as a toxic battle; the two parties in the relationship don’t want to break away from each other (he is still in their “spell”, after all), but the flame between them isn’t passion, but a burning hellscape.

The Last Song is as straightforward — if not more — as Hell. This time it’s about a clear desire to break off from this person. The interactions are too conflictive and out of sync to handle (maybe that’s the hellscape we’ve been described before), so the protagonist is swearing to not speak of them again, as this is “the last song” about them. This might not be true because, even here, he says that they only “pretend it doesn’t matter”. It’s not easy; there are still feelings that bind. And this is further explored in Free Me, where the lyrics seem to evoke all the bad feelings and triggers that this rupture brings them. Their problems unresolved, unspoken, as the hurt buried deep within isn’t convenient to handle or bring up. Now is the time the protagonist screams at the top of his voice his desire to be free, to break the chains that he’s seen since Best of You. And he suggests that the other party should do the same.

“All of the words that we dare never speak All of our ghosts and the secrets we keep Gather them all, and we'll bury them deep Like a safe full of sorrow” -Verse 1

“Can you free what's keeping you? Well, I need somebody to” -Post-chorus

After what is essentially the climax of his anxiety and anguish, the speaker finally sees some relief and solace, softening up and looking back on his experiences in a more positive light in Resolve. Adopting perhaps a more mature outlook after some time and distance has been put from the relationship, the protagonist reflects on his past and reframes his experiences as part of life. The good, the bad... it was all necessary for his growth. He fully understands and accepts where he stands at this moment, which isn’t to say he is “through” everything; a part of him still wishes things were easier and it still hurts to distance himself from something that he was so attached to and that he used to wish worked differently, but he is wiser from it and is finally ready to move forward. Still, he looks for that resolve to keep going and learn to be himself again.

“Looking back to find my way never seemed so hard Yesterday's been laid to rest, changing of the guard I would never change a thing even if I could All the songs we used to sing, everything was good”

The Deepest Blues Are Black paints one of the most beautiful visual analogies from the Foo Fighters. The protagonist reflects on the lost love; perhaps some reconciliation happened, or the person still occupies some space on his mind. Either way, a bittersweet wave of feelings floods his thoughts. It’s undeniable that he loves or loved this person, even after all the pain and resentment he felt, so thinking about what could have been stings. And whenever he feels this person’s warmth, the qualities he admires and their seductive features, he compares those to the vast alluring blue sea. But just like the beauty of the sea, the bitter nostalgia and the overwhelming amounts of jealousy brought by those feelings can shroud him in darkness — and drown him — if he goes too deep. He thinks about how his loved one can easily seduce someone and move on from him, and it eats at him to think about how they’re with someone else. Even if it couldn’t, wouldn’t, didn’t work between them… it sucks.

“Shame on you, seducing everyone You faded jewel, you diamond in the rough You don't have to tell me, I know where you've been Shining once again” - Verse 1

“The deeper the blues, the more I see black Sweeter the bruise, the feeling starts coming back All the deepest blues are black” - Chorus

And finally, End Over End is the way out. The album’s closer hits with a subtle confidence; its soundscape brings a calm but firm resolve. End Over End is hope. Hope to rise again amongst the good memories. Taking what’s good, leaving what holds you back, learning, and evolving from the pain. A new beginning is due, but renewal comes with change, time, and distance. As the experiences mold the protagonist into someone new, and hopefully better, he reflects on how he’s older and “worn” out. Marked from the past, but eager for the future.

“I'm a revolvin' door I've seen it all before I will begin again But I can't start until I've seen the end” - Verse 1

“I’m feeling out of luck Maybe I just feel too much That old familiar touch Will always sting my skin” -Verse 3

End Over End gives the album a sense of finality and renewal. The protagonist understands that there is a possibility to move on and rebuild himself if he lets time do its thing and hangs onto hope. This isn’t an ending per se; as the title itself suggests, life is a cycle of cycles. Ups and downs have taught him everything that makes him who he is. With his new sense of self, the protagonist can now keep looking for his place and his happiness — and the Foo Fighters can keep evolving and trying new things and new stories. But after all he's been through and survived… I think he’ll be ok.

“The good in everyone The ties we've left undone The heart that moves your blood All the things that bring me right back here” -Verse 3

Now, whether the band actually thought of weaving this continuous narrative at any point during production is an unknown. It is possible that they had entirely different experiences in their heads while writing this, and just as is the beauty of art, the open-ended nature of their lyrics can always evoke different feelings on the listener. So, have no worries, this isn’t me trying to decipher any “true” meanings, but rather explore a specific way to listen to and experience the album.

To be the eternally in love person, wallowing in their fantasies of heartbreak mixed with what could have been… it’s tacky, but I’d be lying if I said I don’t romanticize some pathological passion. To feel like something means so much that it consumes you and transforms you into someone new and evolved is an immensely powerful feeling that can, in a way, sum up what it is to truly live. To dream, to be vulnerable, to be disappointed, to be hurt, to change and grow; all of those are moments that can cause pain but remind us of our humanity. And maybe there aren’t many that could capture this with the needed intensity as well as the Foo Fighters.