owemnstudies

[owemnstudies]

I got sick 😭😭😭

[owemnstudies]

I don't think people realise how much one good or bad thing can affect someone when they are trying to heal and recover. How fragile a person can be when they have just started doing whatever they can to somehow get better. One carelessly thrown mean line can hurt with the brunt of a thousand, one kind voice can shine bright like a beacon. People cling to the barest of good things in tough times. We'll never really know whose day we could turn around by just being kind. A smile, a nod, maybe holding the door open for a stranger, maybe complimenting a person out of nowhere. Because I know how much it would mean to me if someone I know gave me even a little wave when we walk by without saying anything. And if I can cause the same effect in someone else, I genuinely want to. These little things cost nothing at all. And so we need to be as kind as we can. We are all humans after all.

[owemnstudies]

ty for the tag! @poetusa ♡

Is this because I'm hungry? craving flour? 🙂‍↕️ I'll go make lunch

(I won't tag, sorry, I can't bring myself to📈)

i made a quiz: what does your soul smell like? (friendship/ relationship compatibility in the results!)

[owemnstudies]

O4.O7.2O24 | 10/100 days of productivity

💙 d - 37 ★ 🌻 d - 92

nah, because the way I got emotional yesterday did not prepare me for the book that I'm reading for one of my humanities course, it makes you think so much about your own social identity and it just hits hard, makes me think about all of the negative things that just makes us how we are, how we behave and all of that 😭

but it's a really interesting book, I hope that it helps me to at least think more about myself and improve who I am by writing about it on my journal

I have around 165 pages left for this chapter, I must finish before Saturday

⏰️ study time : 3 h 57 min

[owemnstudies]

O3.O7.2O24 | 9/100 days of productivity

💙 d - 38 ★ 🌻 d - 93

I bought this cute correction tape on my favorite stationery store 😭 it's so squishy, soft, cute, what else could I ask for?

I am trying my best, I promise. I journaled a lot, today (3rd of July) was a date that used to be, and I think will be special for a long time, it was my favorite bestest friends birthday (they didn't die) but I was ghosted, I think. Or maybe they're having a tough time since the beginning of this year, I just hope that they're well.

I want to share a few sentences of my journal entry, I feel like I really got emotional but also managed to express what I wanted to (or maybe not, but while I wrote I really felt it did)

"I always thought that I took too much from you, but you said that it wasn't true. I'm not good with words, but the words 'I love you' started leaving my mind and mouth more easily".

Am I alone now? I'm not alone, but it's lonely. You were with me at my lowest, and gave me the happiest moments of my life."

"Even if you were busy, I still wrote in a diary so you'd feel less alone, because you never left my mind, and you still don't"

I didn't think it was that corny until I wrote it just now 😭 gosh.

⏰️ study time : 3 h 24 min

[owemnstudies]

O2.O6.2O24 | 8/100 days of productivity

💙 d - 39 ★ 🌻 d - 94

I wish I could go back in time and start teaching myself about these problems when I had so much free time as a toddler 🙂‍↕️ I just don't understand (I kinda do) how is one supposed to get all of these problems right in 2-3 hours (70 for 💙, 50 for 🌻) but at the end of the day, I just have to keep trying

⏰️ study time : 5 h 8 min

[owemnstudies]

30.O6.2O24 | 6/100 days of productivity

💙 d - 41 ★ 🌻 d - 96

I got so sad I couldn't go to Pride March on my country 😭 but I really had to finish an essay for one of my humanities course.

(also procrastinated a little 🫠 i was still sad. is this still being productive?)

⏰️ study time : 2 h 17 min

[owemnstudies]

29.O6.2O24 | 5/100 days of productivity

💙 d - 42 ★ 🌻 d - 97

I honestly just focused during my class because after everything that happened the day before I really felt down

Also, while we learned a new unit in class, I got frustrated because I got 0 answers correct 😭

⏰️ study time : 1 h 29 min

[owemnstudies]

I had a mentally rough week, I still tried being productive, so I'll be updating my 100dop challenge 🫠

[owemnstudies]

28.O6.2O24 | 4/100 days of productivity

💙 d - 43 ★ 🌻 d - 98

it's a vent day, not a productive day, so don't read if you don't want to!

today i went to my old high school because I asked for a grade certificate for my uni almost two weeks ago, and it was so stressful because It's far from where I live. When i got there, they told me it wasn't ready yet, even if I had called a day before and they said it was.

I went with my mom, I'm kind of an 'adult' who can't go out without feeling anxious, but she got mad at me that I didn't complain enough, we had to go home. I called later, my high school told me they would have it before noon, but then they didn't, they told me to call back again and I did, but the worker in charge was either in lunch, or busy, or told me to call later, or that he'd call in a few minutes (hours passed).

In the end, his supervisor called saying I was putting too much pressure? it's their job? and I even asked how much it would take, they said 10 working days, this supervisor said they actually take 20 working days? like?? I spent so much in the bus, the calls, I could've used that time to study more, not to wait around for a call and just deal with traffic and crowded public transport.

(and I even tried emailing four weeks prior, another one three weeks prior, I received no answer)

I know it's silly, I think back, and just things like these make me feel hopeless, like I can't be an adult who just cries because of this? that somehow it's my fault because I didn't ask enough or complained enough?

it also made me just remember how I used to feel back in high school, stressed about dealing with the administration, hopeless about my emotions and no matter how frustrated I was, nothing was going to ever change. i hate how much things like these actually affect me and others just don't, I almost went silent the whole day from the stress, because I can't let something like this affect me, but it just does.

and I really felt like I wanted to text someone and complain about this, anyone, not to receive even an answer but just to be heard, not to be blamed for, but it just sounds so silly to cry over someone's words. I just wrote this and wanted to post it as a way of venting, I hope I can get on track tomorrow, I can't afford to lose more days like this.

I ended up with a headache from the stress, I managed to take the bus in time to go back to high school and then to the uni with the certificate, anyways, what a day 🙃

(looking back this was so dramatic)

⏰️ study time : 0 h

[owemnstudies]

27.O6.2O24 | 3/100 days of productivity

💙 d - 44 ★ 🌻 d - 99

I reached my goal of focusing for 8 hours to study and solve practice problems 😭 I'm so sleepy now, I don't know if I'll be as productive tomorrow because there were some problems with my uni admission papers so I have to actually go

Today, out of 80 problems, I only got 24 wrong, which is still concerning, but I really thought I would have way more wrong, so it's progress!

I really need to be doing a lot more (I'm kind of panicking)

practices 2019/2020 (80/80)

⏰️ study time : 8 h

[owemnstudies]

26.O6.2O24 | 2/100 days of productivity

💙 d - 45 ★ 🌻 d - 100

I really underestimated how much time these exercises actually take me 😭 although there are a lot that I can solve and understand, there's are still a big amount of them that I do not understand at all, hopefully I do get better as I go (also ignoring how much I procrastinated during afternoon)

practices 2019/2020 (30/80) (hopefully I'll finish tomorrow)

practices 2021/2022 (0/80)

⏰️ study time : 4 h 12 min

[owemnstudies]

25.O6.2O24 | 1/100 days of productivity

💙 d - 46 ★ 🌻 d - 101

I got the specific date of my exam today! so I'll be posting my daily progress in this 100dop challenge, just in a shorter entry

review material (3/3) 🎞

quiz practice

tuesday class 6 pm - 7:30 pm

100 dop planner - todomate

practices 2019/2020 (5/80) (hopefully I'll finish tomorrow)

⏰️ study time : 4 h 11 min

[owemnstudies]

Firstly, when you get this, you have to answer with 5 things you like about yourself, publicly. Then, send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers (non-negotiable, positivity is cool) 🤍

tysm for the ask! (this is a hard one, but i will try my best)

1. i like my moles

two under my right eye, four vertically on the left side on my neck, one on my lip, six more under my knee, i've always loved my moles and wondered if i could get more when i was kid. i used to say the ones on my neck were from a vampire that bit me

2. i like how others can rely on me

i don't consider myself a smart person or someone who is responsible 100% but somehow my friends and classmates (even after graduating) ask me about if i understand this or that... explain things, and while i do not want to think at all that they're taking advantage (🧠⚰️), i actually love that others rely on me, and it pushes me to be responsible and productive?

3. i like my hands?

they're small, but so what? i used to bite my nails a lot when i was a kid, now i don't, and i have pretty nails

4. i like my hair!

curly hair is the best, during the pandemic even if i messed up cutting my hair on my own, the curls just hide it all and messy haircuts actually looked better on my curly hair (I promise)

5. i like how i make little things for other people even when I'm not at my best

the past two years i really have been at my worst, but even so i always find the motivation to just draw my friends for their birthdays, write them letters and just cherish them with little things i can do. I do not consider myself a person people can talk to about their problems, but at least i make a few people happy with cute chibis or portraits 😭 they made them their pfps! 🩷

the answers aren't really about myself without involving others, i tried 🫠

[owemnstudies]

If you get this, answer with 5 random facts about yourself and then send it to the last 7 blogs in your notifications. Let's get to know the people behind the blogs! No pressure though 🤍

tysm for the ask! i'm not used to this, so i had to think and research how people do this (🦳)

i have been studying art and design since i was 10

i used to design wattpad covers back in the day, i was an edgy kid so i would make photomanipulation of kpop ships horror themed..., and i got praised a lot which motivated me to this day to get better

i love baking and cooking

my favorite cake to bake is tres leches (three- milk cake), even though i'm lactose intolerant it's soo sweet and yummy, i baked one recently for Father's day, it only lasted 3 days in the fridge, everyone liked it!

I clean my room every hour

i feel like it's a passive way to take care of yourself? i try to have as many art prints from national artists that i like, and my room always gets dusty, so i clean and wipe everything constantly

i love studying with music that isn't "relaxing"

i cannot express how much i've learned and focused when studying with industrial techno, witch house, hard techno, you have to get in the mood though!

i love physical touch and being in crowds or around people (i don't know what else to write)

even if being outside makes me feel anxious a part of me also loves being around people, i feel connected and part of something!

sorry for taking so long 😭

[owemnstudies]

Week 3 - 🪼d/46 🌻d/95

hello 🔆 i hope you're having a wonderful day, please remember to take care of yourself and drink water! 🩷

I'll try to be positive this week's post (which is a bit late)

Thinking back, I did a lot of things this week, I was able to learn a lot for my college entrance exam (finally) and I also read 2 chapters for one of my humanities subjects, which is good!

Yesterday (Monday 24th) I enrolled on a free class for my college entrance exam, and I feel that what the teacher talked abou really stuck out to me, I keep not really taking things as seriously as I should, which is really bad because it's a really big score competition where almost 50k people participate, and only around 8k make it, so (😭)

I had to go back to my high school to ask for a grade certificate that I need for one of the universities I'm applying to, it's such a mess because I have to actually go in person and they don't answer emails, and they will be going on vacations soon, and I need it for like, yesterday 🫠

I also started to think, what if how much i've studied this year is not enough? what if I fail again and I have to try again next year? (shut my brain off 😄) so I'm going to try my best, even if I don't have much time, I'm waiting for the specific date of 🌻 (the main exam) and hopefully i have a little bit of more time

Hopefully my next post is that of '100 days of productivity' ❤️ see you, thank you so much for reading! also, I just noticed apparently piccrew is blocked in my country? what?

mon: 0

tue: 1 h 34

wed: 2 h 33

thu: 0

friday: 4 h 42

sat: 4 h 16

sun: 0

mon: 2 h 35

🎧 — caro diario: II campo di pallone, nicola piovani

[owemnstudies]

Week 2 - 🪼d/56 🌻d/105

hello 🩷 i hope you're having a great day. Please remember to take care of yourself ! 🌹

so I'm worse than last week 😭 i had and have been having a crisis (or I'm just depressed, i don't know, I'm undiagnosed) for the whole week, i think i just keep getting worse and worse every week of this year to be honest

i don't know if im the only one who has this problem, that i can't bear to be seen studying/waking up early/showering by any family member or else i get embarassed and it's pointed at, it's like i feel they're correct something about what I'm studying or just comment that I'm studying at all 😩

i haven't written on my journal, which i probably should do, but this week, i truly felt how I'm slowly disconnecting from people and just craving (attention?) to interact without feeling anxious. i have been slowly accepting the fact that i just lost an online friendship of 6 years, and even if i keep sending heart emojis with encouraging words it's been just so long since we've talked (like 5 months actually), and i guess it's time to give up. i know people are busy, so i think i shouldn't ask for much? (and i ramble too much)

also, i wrote about the app Todomate last week, it's such a good app and i got attached to people (literally 1 person) liking my completed tasks with cute emojis, until that one person decided to leave the app for a while, it's just so silly that i got used to and it actually helped me do a lot, and that just made me feel incredibly alone (am i being fr) and that contributed to my crisis, i think

i really hope to start feeling better or at least good enough to study for 🪼🌻, and btw they represent two uni entrance exams! (I'm planning to do a 100 days of productivity. if i don't get into one, I'm literally going to die). I'm so behind in the preparation course, actually. wish me luck? thank you so much for reading! 🩷

i did vent a little

mon: 0 💀

tue: 24 minutes

wed: 0 💀

thu: 2 h 14 m

friday: ?

🎧 — two-way mirror, loathe