pallanophblargh

[pallanophblargh]

“I have my color study and my fat stack of reference photos, what could go wrong?”

Untold hours later… and I’m still doing edits and color adjustments and doing my best not to panic. (And telling a reflection it needs to stop impersonating a shadow… 👀)

To be clear: considering how rusty I’ve become and how wild my anxiety has been, this has still come along better than I previously hoped. So that does count for something.

It was 100% watercolor until things got Goofy and then gouache and colored pencils got involved, bless them.

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This year has tried to take too much from me, and the will or ability to make art was one of them. Why? *gestures at everything * The concept of getting back to watercolor was more or less eating me alive. I still haven’t quite unpacked why. I know the only way out is through.

Second horse piece of the year (after a freelance project that hurtled into my life a little while back.) These are my first timid steps back onto the scene and I guess I’m just relieved green and I are still friends. Not sure about those other colors though… will need more courage for that.

We still like progress photos right? I mean, I do. That’s how you know I did things the hard way.

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Better late than never! Happy Pride moth! Based on the love of my life, cecropia moths.

I still see things I want to tweak and adjust at a later date, at which point I will scan up and put in a shop. At this point, I’m just glad I’ve gotten the courage to get back into my watercolors after a surprise absence.

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Forgot to commemorate the final orbit of my 30s with a ballpoint pallanoph doodle. Off model Qiara isn’t real, she can’t hurt you!

Character, art, and all things ‘noph belong to yours truly.

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“Do it for her.”

In this cursed timeline we all have been cruelly subjected to, I can admit that this lil lady is the primary reason I get up in the morning. I owe her so much and it’s really not an exaggeration.

We’ve been working on training and working through leash reactivity (she’s a frustrated greeter so her crime is “too much excitement”) but she’s so smart and willing to please, and it’s more me being trained than anything. She has days when she can’t focus or listen, but that’s the same for me. And that’s ok.

She takes up a fair chunk of my free time (easily 85% of it) so commissions and daily tasks are taking a hit, but she’s helped me with my mental health so much in the aftermath of my serious illness so that’s a net positive. I will learn how to balance better in the future I hope.

Love you to the moon and back, Raclette!

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So it’s been a while. And I feel obligated to explain my lengthy absence from… everywhere. My email is so full I’m low key terrified.

On New Year’s Eve, I found out the hard way I have asthma. I thought I was tackling a stubborn cold with a particularly nasty cough, but it culminated in a trip to the ER after I all but stopped breathing and felt hypoxic. My oxygen saturation had dropped into the 60s and I was put on oxygen. Went through the whole barrage of tests, chest x rays and blood draws. And the culprit? RSV and the asthma I had thought was imaginary. Despite my own body’s efforts to cancel my subscription to the bullshit year we are now living in, I was discharged after 6 hours just an hour before midnight. To put it simply, I felt like total shit but no longer in danger.

RSV knocked me and J absolutely flat for 2+ weeks. I still am dealing with fatigue and respiratory/cardio hiccups as I try to get back to how life was before. And before I could get to that point, life threw another wrench.

Raclette, my darling pup I had adopted back in October, who I was assured had been spayed (having come from the shelter where it is required) had gone into heat. Which leads me to believe that her first owners had (for whatever crazy reason) lied to the shelter about spaying her, and there were no records of her from before her time at the shelter. To say I was disappointed and alarmed is an understatement, and my suspicions were confirmed by our vet. Poor girl has been in a diaper for a week and a half and her spay is 3 weeks away. We are both miserable and I’ve had my hands full taking care of her. She’s restless at night so I’m not sleeping well, but I would never hold it against her.

So yeah! Art took a severe back seat, and I will need to reevaluate my relationship with art once the commission queue has been emptied. It’s gonna be an extremely rough year and I’m looking to find things that bring me more joy while taking better care of myself (and the dog). It’s a tall order but it needs doing!

Stay safe out there, y’all.

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Apologies, I’m justifiably livid and will be for… who knows how long.

Before I can find a way to put that to good use, here’s an equally angry sketch.

Rage against the dying of the light.

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Someone’s pouting because I have to focus on painting. The torment!

(Meanwhile J has invited her onto the couch but it’s just not the same!)

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Wake up, new cryptid just dropped!

It’s true that I’ve had to reimagine my day to day life since we got her, but I can’t imagine how we got this lucky. We thought we would have to work to earn her love, but from the moment she entered our house it’s been a cuddlefest, one I couldn’t possibly deny. There are hurdles she will be facing to be sure (and she will still need to meet the cats face to face) but I’m so happy to see this happy lil cheese every day. Welcome home Raclette!

(The couches will always be hers, even if it means she does try to smush whatever I’m working on at the time!)

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I feel like I owe everyone an explanation for my near social media death (hiatus is a better word I guess). Suffice to say my motivation/focus hit an all time low, and a couple of very well placed distractions didn’t help keep me on track. On the other hand, despite all of the… shit out there… my mental health otherwise feels better. Or as well as it can in the absence of energy and motivation. Can’t have it all!

I have managed to get a little done after all this time. Two comms on the slab and a new friend on the way. My fingers are crossed for a lot of things, and I gotta fight to keep putting in the work!

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Almost didn’t manage to draw up anything for pride month, oops! Maybe I should do a pride moth as well (thanks autocorrect)

Didn’t turn out the way I intended, but it doesn’t matter because loons are always a win.

99% watercolor with some colored pencil details that you can’t really see. Gotta get the rust out somehow.

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So I’m working on the second generation of cecropia kids. My last count turned up 18 I think, they are hard to count at this small size. Right around a week old and I think some are getting ready for their first molt. The boxelder stump has respouted a lot of fresh foliage so unless they can eat a whole small tree, we will be fine. But I will need to make a third cage for them to grow up in I think!

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Eternally grateful to receive a blast from the past! I'm going to sit and gaze fondly at this for a while. I am so in love with all the cool angles! And that last panel!!!

I need so badly to revisit 'nophs aaaaaa! This post is going to punch my brain with inspiration!

I just realized I never shared this here, probably because it's from before I joined tumblr. This was my entry for a contest that @pallanophblargh had hosted in 2011 over on dA (at least my files are dated that). :D Pages were done in ink and watercolor on I think japanese comic book paper and then edited digitally for the text and some effects. I believe the incredible painting I got (LOOK AT IT) was one of the prizes? but my memories are really hazy since it's been like 13 years now haha. Anyway, that was fun, and I always enjoy a good Pallanoph! ❤️

Reivig, Sorstan, Orstad, the ambassador and guard characters, the story in this and the pallanoph species in general belong to the amazing @pallanophblargh. I just did the drawings.

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I have a disproportionately loud mess of a head for no discernible reason* so it’s kind of a miracle that I spent the last month and some change willing myself to wield watercolor again. Witness the struggle! A long overdue color sketch for a (super patient) client.

Just watercolor with a boop of gouache.

*they are a mush of small but immense problems??? Executive dysfunction being maximized by meds the main culprit…

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I’m so blessed to meet this little lady, the first of my 7 cecropia caterpillars from last summer to emerge. I wasn’t counting on her to come so early! I’m hoping to find her a mate, but I don’t know how good her odds are in this neck of the woods. I found her mother in the suburbs about 5-7 miles from here, so I don’t know how many cecropia find their way close to the urban (but still residential) core.

For those wondering: she is every bit as soft as she looks and she sounds like a bird when she beats her wings. Also she has a strong smell; kinda like musty chocolate and old leaves.

If I am fortunate to get fertilized eggs out of this group, I would love to raise the next generation of caterpillars. They have brought me so much joy and I missed them so much during their long pupation.

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The annual ballpoint pallanoph in celebration of clinging to this rocky sphere for one more year (despite appearances) was delayed by a few days. Oops! I’m not dead, just growing older.

Art is still hard, but this runs on autopilot sometimes. And sometimes, that’s enough.

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I was scrolling through my camera roll when I remembered I’d taken a photo of a portrait I did of my childhood dog in my parents’ house. It’s bittersweet to see where my art was as a late teen/baby 20-something. And of course, I still miss my dog and his hugs.