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Becoming a better person #1:

I'm trying to rid myself of any detrimental distractions, mainly people. My best friend since high school has become a complete and total downer to my life. She's cheap. She's overly anxious (a difficulty with which I struggle as well). Most importantly, despite being cheap, she only ever wants to do things that require spending money, or me doing her a favor. This sounds like gossip, and it probably is, but I love her, and I don't want to let her go. She has contributed incalculably to who I am as a person, and we have shared so many experiences together. I'm just past the point where her negative contributions to my overall state of being outweigh the positive.

Am I a bitch?

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Ugggghhhh

I've eaten more calories today than I have in the past two days combined. How will I ever learn self control or willpower?

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19 March 2015 01:57

Back in November, my boyfriend and I had a discussion about breaking up. He’s commissioning with the Army in a couple of months, and I’ll still be in school. We’ve been dating for over a year, but his point of view on our relationship, is that it will end roughly when he graduates (May).

I asked him today if the situation was still the same and he said yes. I don’t know why I was so taken aback. I knew that this was going to happen—he even told me it was going to happen. I’m just. So sad right now and need an outlet.

I can’t break up with him right now. Not when I’ll have to see him everyday around campus. So what do I do? I want to maintain civility with him no matter what (because I love him dearly), which has been difficult for me throughout past relationships.

I stay the night at his place pretty much every night, and I have a lot of stuff there. We’re very physically affectionate with one another as well. I guess I should just gradually stop those things. No reminding him I love him either.

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Can I go here? Like. Now?

Photographer Ryan Deboodt’s Drone Camera Captures the Jungle-Like World of the Hang Son Doong Cave

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Meditation

I'm trying to work my way into a spiritual/chakral balance. I've been reading that the Root Chakra has to do with security. Not just innate survival kind of security. Security in one's personality, body, health, relationships, self-worth, etc. Since the first chakra is obviously the foundation for spiritual balance, I'm guessing I need to work on that first. 

One of my biggest insecurities is my body and my health, so in addition to improving my diet, and exercising habits, I'm going to try using rose quartz to improve my self-image. To become more secure, I need to accept myself, right? Perhaps this will help.