patervoss-punbard - Tumblr blog

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Doing my thing over on bluesky!

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Well folks! You can find me on bluesky as well by looking around for patervosspunbard.bsky.social!

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Is it alright to pilfer a dragon's hoard?

Ab-so-LOOT-ly

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Where do rogues like to rest and recuperate?

At the Break Inn

Where do assassins like to do the same?

The Poise Inn

Where do pickpockets and cutpurses like to hit the hay?

At the Thieve'inn

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We have heard about all the kens except one.

TekKen

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Survival should be a mandatory proficiency for Barbarians.

On account of their inclination...

FOR RAGING

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Authors get to choose what to put in their stories.

This is what they call their...

Author writey.

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Gonna make a Kobold Fire Mage who calls themselves...

CHAR WIZARD!

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A lot of the TTRPG stuff i write is pure fiction and is not balanced.

Yeah you heard me.

I just like to....

Make shit OP.

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A bard persuading people through stunning vocals?

That sounds pretty...

Convince Sing

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Did you hear about the bard who got thrown out of the tavern because they refused to play music?

They were tossed out because of...

NO DITTY

🎶🎻

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There are some days when Calm Emotions would be a great spell to have.

But tbh, right now I settle for Clam Emotions.

🐚🐚🐚

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Fighter: blast! The entire hallway is filled with pressure plates and tripwires.

*clip clap clip clap*

Bard: I got this.

Fighter: are those-

Bard: *ratatatap* yep! I am a...trap dancing expert after all!

Fighter: 😑

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Guide: so! You said your character was gonna be a magical robot?

Player: Yep! But they have a tragic backstory.

Guide: hey neat! Can't wait to hear-

Player: i call 'em my A-trauma-ton 😀

Guide: 😒

Player: 😀😃😀

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Me: *trying to discern arcane instructions on the back of a microwave meal*

Me: ....

Me: 😏 WHAT DOES THE BOX SAY!?

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Always befriend a Mimic.

They can be any buddy.

ANY. BUDDY. 😂

🧰

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Legend of Zelda, except everything is cake when Link cuts stuff.

Tiers of the Cakedom