philosophicaltrashcan

[philosophicaltrashcan]

Crows gender/sexuality headcanons

Disclaimer: Every headcanon of the crows is perfectly valid! If you don't agree with these headcanons, your opinion is just as plausible as mine! This is just the way I picture them personally :-)

Another disclaimer: This is an lgbtqia+ safe space!🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

Kaz:

Transmasc

He/him

Caedsexual (explanation: previously allosexual, but currently asexual due to past trauma). Could also have been on the ace-spec before his trauma.

Panromantic (honestly, no one cares less about gender than Kaz)

Inej:

Demigirl

She/her, but also trying out she/they pronouns

Caedsexual or demisexual

Bicurious-romantic? (if it's not a label, I'm inventing it now :-)

Jesper:

Cis boy, gender non-conforming

Any pronouns (I can totally picture him saying "surprise me" when someone asks about pronouns)

Bisexual

Wylan:

Transmasc

He/him, but also glancing at he/they

Gay

Nina:

Cis girl

She/her, but can't really decide if she also wants she/they

Pansexual

Matthias:

Cis boy

He/him

Straight (possibly some unconscious bisexuality?)

Of course, feel free to tell me if you have a different opinion, they are characters open for interpretation after all!

[philosophicaltrashcan]

[philosophicaltrashcan]

I have some hcs about how the crows would drive if they could.

Inej: the best driver of the group. Will follow all traffic laws if she senses there are cops around. If there aren’t she will got at least 20km over the speed limit in the city or 50 over on the highway. Has an uncanny sense for where cops are parked and where traffic cameras are stationed.

Kaz: drives like he is in a car chase. Runs red lights and stop signs never uses his signals speeds like his life depends on it always has his high beams on and blinds anyone he passes on the highway. Has not been pulled over.

Jesper: is usually a pretty good driver if no one else is in the car. Is someone is (especially wylan) he will swerve on purpose. Speeds in school zones as a joke but only on weekends or holidays. He’s been pulled over and has several unpaid tickets. Revvs his engine ALL THE TIME.

Wylan: normally an okay driver but every so often he isn’t paying attention and misses a turn or a stop sign. A weirdly good parallel parker for no reason.

Nina: the worst driver of the crows. Never uses her turn signal, either goes way too fast or way too slow, slams on the breaks every time she stops. Clips lots of parked cars but never leaves her number. Laughs every time she is driving with Matthias because he uses the roof handles and is terrified.

Matthias: drives like an old lady. Is always going at least 5km below the speed limit, if not more. Waits for like, 10 full seconds at stop signs. Stops for yield signs as well, uses his horn liberally.

Kuwei: has had his license revoked and his car has been impounded.

[philosophicaltrashcan]

Kaz's desire for money is no lie...

We all know Kaz loves his money. He embraces his own greed, and is known to take on all the dirtiest jobs that no one else wants to do, just to get it. When he d!es, he wants to d!e buried under the weight of his own gold. I think most of the crows (or at least Inej) assumes that it isn't really true, that it is just a facade he puts up in front of everyone else.

But the thing is, I don't think it is. Because we all know what happened during his childhood. He and Jordie moved to Ketterdam where money basically is the equivalent to god, and essential to your survival. When he was scammed by Pekka Rollins, they lost everything they had, and with no money left, they had no other choice but to roam the streets. They had no food, no clean water and no roof over their heads. When Jordie got sick, they couldn't afford to seek healthcare. All of this, because they didn't have any money. That is why Kaz wants money so desperately. Because in Ketterdam, money is safety, and he never wants to be forced to fight for his survival again. He wants to make sure no one can take everything from him like that again.

[philosophicaltrashcan]

whenever people say that they dont think the crows act like teenagers i have to laugh because. like. as a teenager. they do. they're relatively mature because they're all severely traumatized and had to grow up fast (also because considering the time period it's based on it's completely reasonable for younger kids to be expected to do more) but they still act like teenagers. i've seen a bunch of people mention the "my ghost wont associate with your ghost" convo and "pay someone to pay someone to burn your kruge" but also, Jesper makes multiple sex jokes. Inej purposefully takes the harder route Kaz can't handle so he'll let her go alone. Wylan complains about pretty much everything. Nina spends most of the first book needling and pissing off her ex because she enjoys it. Kaz spends half his energy trying to be mysterious and cool. Matthias calls Kaz a demon for most of the books because he doesn't like him. Kuwei uses the fact that he looks like his crush's crush to kiss his crush. he also pretends he doesn't know Kerch because he didnt want to talk to people.

and, hands down the most teenager scene in the entire duology, Kaz and Jesper get in an argument and start a fucking fist fight. they are literally rolling on the ground punching each other. and everyone just fucking stands there. watching. Wylan wants someone to stop them but no one does. because they're not actively trying to kill each other. so whatever its fine. and then afterwards they're besties again. that is how 99% of the fights at my school go my dude, they are SUCH teenagers.

[philosophicaltrashcan]

Modern Six of crows AU

Kaz

Knows exactly where to watch movies for free

Self-learned master programmer who can hack literally anything

Hijacks the stock market

Orders black coffe at Starbucks unironically but it's actually a caramel latte

Is the manager of The Dregs' Discord channel

Doesn't have a degree but somehow seems more educated than anyone he meets

Knows how to get into darkweb

We all had that one guy who wore the finest suits every day to class. That's Kaz.

Inej

Works part-time as a climbing instructor

Vegan

More addicted to coffee than Kaz (and that's saying something)

Studies ethnology/anthropology

Wants to study/volunteer abroad

Never leaves the house without a water bottle, and always reminds the rest of the crows to drink enough water

Loves all of Jane Austen's works

She would have loved Rupi Kaur's "Milk and honey"

Jesper

David Bowie's biggest stan

Addicted to UNO but totally useless at it

Oh and animal crossing. And Hay Day. And...

Oddly fascinated by Guinness Word Records (and yes, he tried to beat most of them)

Has a YouTube channel consisting of pranks, jumpscares and secret recordings of the other crows. Oh and he also has a meme account with only pictures of Kaz in different situations Kaz is aware but stays quiet

Tries all the weird pringle flavours the second they arrive

Went viral on TikTok once

Wears socks in sandals just to piss people off

Wylan

Plant dad (I am not kidding, it's hard to move through rooms)

Sure thing he can't read but you will never meet anyone who listens that much to audiobooks (he has listened to the Harry Potter series about 5 times)

Has a gigantic box of Capri Sun in his locker

Studies chemistry, art AND music he denies every acccusation of burnout

Has about 15 different flavours of tea at home

Always walks into vintage bookshops even though he can't read

Works part time at the cinema

Contrary to popular belief, he doesn't like Disney (he prefers Lord Of The Rings)

Nina

Chapell Roan and Kate Bush are her girlies

Worked as an au pair in France (everyone thought she was french because she sl@yed the language)

Big time musical lover (especially Wicked and Phantom of the Opera)

Tries her best to educate Matthias on LGBTQ+ labels and stuff

Wears the strawberry dress with pride

Saturday tarot readings with Inej

Had a crush on about 60% of her teachers but has ONE math/science teacher that is her MORTAL ENEMY

Sunbathes a lot but never tans and it drives her mad

Matthias

Secretly into knitting.

Jesper once changed his Snapchat name to "Grandpa" and now he is stuck with it because he doesn't know how to change it.

When others say "bring snacks" he brings an apple

The only one with a drivers license but it doesn't matter because Kaz only lets himself drive

Sports heartthrob except he doesn't play sports he's just running a lot

When the crows watch movies he always pick them apart and analyses them, which ruins all the fun ("that's unrealistic, because in real life he would have...")

Has a siberian husky

Loves thanksgiving

[philosophicaltrashcan]

up early for the job and trying to make it better by convincing myself Kaz would be disappointed in me for being so so sleepy

until I realize that no, Kaz Brekker would not want me working a minimum wage job, he would want me to commit tax fraud

[philosophicaltrashcan]

I WILL NOT REST BEFORE I GET A SIX OF CROWS SERIES IN ARCANE ANIMATION WHO ARE WITH ME

[philosophicaltrashcan]

honestly kinda love the fact that inej and jesper both had a crush on kaz, and instead of their friendship being strained(or god forbid a love triangle) bc of it, there was just a conversation like “damn, we both got terrible taste”

[philosophicaltrashcan]

The crows as things my friends have said

Kaz

"He d!ed about as much as average people."

"I don't know what I'm doing, and I don't feel like I can hand the power over to someone else."

"They weren't humans, they were employees."

Inej

"We can experiment with other ways to hold someone at knifepoint."

"I like it when they shut up, most of all."

"I am sorry for everything we have done. More is to come."

Jesper

"Honestly, if your body isn't totally destroyed when you're 80, have you truly lived?"

"Where is this world heading if you can't even get a flutist at your own funeral?"

"I lose money every second I'm here."

Wylan

"I'm okay with googling human density, but I will not google human boiling point."

"Is it assault to throw flour at someone?"

"But how the heck are we going to hide the gold inside the scientist?"

Nina

"I wish I had friends, but I only have waffles, unfortunately."

"It went well. I felt annoying today."

"If you find chips, eat them. That is my life policy."

Matthias

"My childhood, it was… it started when I was born."

"How's it going, scammerboy?"

"Kings are humans too, just worth a bit more."

[philosophicaltrashcan]

Isha headcanons because she survived

I read somewhere that her being mute may not only be due to trauma, but also due to the polluted air she has been breathing her entire life in Zaun, which could have affected and damaged her vocal cords.

She is quite small for her age

She lost her parents in a mining collapse when she was about six years old.

She grew up very poor, and had to work in the mines alongside her family, for them to afford their daily needs. The working conditions weren't always the best, and they were not always treated respectfully by their supervisor, but Isha had always been a tough child though, and would't let them step on her, even though it often got her in a lot of trouble.

Isha wears her mother's helmet.

After losing her parents, Isha lived on the streets for a long time. Even though she may have found temporary safety, it was never for long, and most of her time was spent running or hiding. She had to steal to get her food, and quickly became quite good at it, but sometimes she had to fight to keep it.

Her parents were strongly political, and a part of Vander's uprising against Piltover.

She likes spiders

Jinx gave Isha her old bunny plushie, and now she never lets it out of sight. She holds little tea parties with it, and sometimes beatles and spiders get to join, too.

Isha is a ferocious climber - she climbs the roofs, the pipes, the vents, and Jinx has yet to tell her that she is a much better climber than she was at her age (the gangs never catch up on her).

She is afraid of the dark (the only thing she is afraid of), which is why Jinx has made sure to decorate their quarters with as many night lights as she can find.

She hates spinach

She likes painting, and when someone had made a painting of Jinx on one of the walls in Zaun, she was the one to color her braids blue.

Even though she is very young, she knows how to cook simple stuff, like porridge or eggs, as she often used to help her parents with small things in the kitchen.

Jinx taught her to braid her own hair (she practiced on Sevika)

Cat person

Y'all know Isha is that kind of kid who bites people

I see a lot of fanart where Isha lost her leg in the explosion of Jinx's overloaded gun, and I like to think that Jinx made a prosthetic for her, that they both helped to decorate, just like she did with Sevika's arm.

Isha is that one kid who originally wants to bake, and then ends up eating the paste directly out of the bowl.

Isha seems to be obsessed with setting things on fire, which frightens even Jinx

As she is mute, she can't sing, but when she can, she likes humming to herself

[philosophicaltrashcan]

Arcane characters and their Hogwarts houses

Caitlyn: Gryffindor

Mel: Slytherin

Jayce: Ravenclaw

Viktor: Ravenclaw

Heimerdinger: Ravenclaw

Vi: Slytherin

Jinx: Ravenclaw

Ekko: Gryffindor

Silco: Slytherin

Vander: Hufflepuff

Sevika: Gryffindor