phoenate

[phoenate]

And sometimes I swallow my words, naïvely thinking it won't fuel the misunderstanding — life isn't theatre. It doesn't do flashbacks, or confessions.

I'll be left alone like this because the truth isn't anymore in heart but what appears.

My intentions are what is served. Not what I deeply feel of you. You would never see my sufferings.

I'll be stranded alone here like this as my fate crushes me.

[phoenate]

[phoenate]

ℑ 𝔰𝔬𝔟 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔞𝔫𝔤𝔢𝔩𝔰 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔡𝔢𝔪𝔬𝔫𝔰 𝔟𝔬𝔱𝔥; ℑ 𝔣𝔬𝔯𝔤𝔢𝔱 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔣𝔞𝔠𝔱, 𝔫𝔬𝔱 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔰𝔱𝔦𝔫𝔤.

𝓘 𝓯𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓬𝓱 𝓪𝓽 𝓮𝓶𝓸𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷𝓪𝓵 𝓲𝓷𝓽𝓲𝓶𝓪𝓬𝔂 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓬𝓵𝓾𝓽𝓬𝓱 𝓰𝓻𝓾𝓭𝓰𝓮𝓼 𝓵𝓲𝓴𝓮 𝓴𝓮𝓮𝓹𝓼𝓪𝓴𝓮𝓼, 𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓷 𝓪𝓼 𝓲𝓶𝓪𝓰𝓮𝓼 𝓯𝓪𝓭𝓮. 𝓜𝔂 𝓮𝔂𝓮𝓼 𝓼𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓬𝓱 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝓼𝓸𝓵𝓪𝓬𝓮 𝓲𝓷 𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓻𝔂𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓰, 𝔂𝓮𝓽 𝓯𝓲𝓷𝓭 𝓭𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓮𝓻 𝓲𝓷 𝓪𝓾𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓲𝓬𝓲𝓽𝔂. 𝓛𝓸𝓿𝓮𝓻 𝓸𝓯 𝓼𝓸𝓻𝓻𝓸𝔀, 𝓱𝓪𝓽𝓮𝓻 𝓸𝓯 𝓫𝓮𝓽𝓻𝓪𝔂𝓪𝓵—𝓬𝓾𝓻𝓲𝓸𝓾𝓼 𝓪𝓵𝔀𝓪𝔂𝓼, 𝓬𝓸𝓷𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓷𝓽 𝓲𝓷 𝓬𝓸𝓷𝓽𝓻𝓪𝓭𝓲𝓬𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷.𝓣𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝓫𝓵𝓸𝓰 𝓲𝓼 𝓮𝓶𝓫𝓻𝓸𝓲𝓭𝓮𝓻𝓮𝓭 𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓱 𝓱𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓽𝓫𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴, 𝓰𝓵𝓲𝓽𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓱 𝓶𝓮𝓵𝓪𝓷𝓬𝓱𝓸𝓵𝓲𝓪, 𝓸𝓷𝓮 𝓫𝓻𝓸𝓴𝓮𝓷 𝓬𝓸𝓷𝓯𝓮𝓼𝓼𝓲𝓸𝓷 𝓪𝓽 𝓪 𝓽𝓲𝓶𝓮

𝓖𝓻𝓮𝓮𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼, 𝓰𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓵𝓮 𝓿𝓸𝔂𝓮𝓾𝓻. 𝓨𝓸𝓾’𝓿𝓮 𝔀𝓪𝓷𝓭𝓮𝓻𝓮𝓭 𝓲𝓷𝓽𝓸 𝓪 𝓶𝓲𝓷𝓭 𝓫𝓸𝓽𝓱 𝓶𝓮𝓵𝓪𝓷𝓬𝓱𝓸𝓵𝓲𝓬 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓶𝓮𝓻𝓬𝓾𝓻𝓲𝓪𝓵.

𝓐𝓷 𝓸𝓯𝓯𝓮𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓰: 𝓶𝔂 𝓮𝓼𝓼𝓮𝓷𝓬𝓮 𝓲𝓷 𝓼𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓮𝓷𝓬𝓮𝓼, 𝓼𝓸𝓯𝓽-𝓮𝓭𝓰𝓮𝓭 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓼𝓱𝓪𝓻𝓹-𝓽𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓾𝓮𝓭.

𝓘 𝓪𝓶 𝓟𝓱𝓸𝓮𝓷𝓪𝓽𝓮, 𝓹𝓱𝓸𝓷𝓮𝓽𝓲𝓬𝓪𝓵𝓵𝔂 /ˈ𝔣𝔦ː.𝔫𝔢ɪ𝔱/

𝓼𝓱𝓮/𝓱𝓮𝓻 | 20+ | 𝓬𝓾𝓻𝓼𝓮𝓭 𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓱 𝓽𝓸𝓸 𝓶𝓾𝓬𝓱 𝓮𝓶𝓹𝓪𝓽𝓱𝔂 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓷 𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓮 𝓫𝓲𝓽𝓮.

𝓣𝓱𝓸𝓾𝓰𝓱𝓽𝓯𝓾𝓵 𝓬𝔂𝓷𝓲𝓬 ||📜||

𝓫𝓻𝓾𝓲𝓼𝓮𝓭 𝓫𝓾𝓽 𝓬𝓸𝓶𝓹𝓸𝓼𝓮𝓭 ||🫀||

𝓯𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓬𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓪𝓽 𝓴𝓲𝓷𝓭𝓷𝓮𝓼𝓼, 𝓬𝓻𝔂𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓪𝓷𝔂𝔀𝓪𝔂 || 🪽||

𝓹𝓪𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓵 𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓼𝓽 𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓱𝓾𝓼𝓲𝓪𝓼𝓽| |✨||

𝓫𝓵𝓮𝓮𝓭𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓽𝓱𝓻𝓸𝓾𝓰𝓱 𝓫𝓮𝓪𝓾𝓽𝓲𝓯𝓾𝓵 𝓯𝓸𝓷𝓽𝓼 ||🪼||

𝓬𝓱𝓻𝓸𝓷𝓲𝓬𝓵𝓮𝓼 𝓸𝓯 𝓪 𝓰𝓲𝓻𝓵 𝔀𝓱𝓸 𝓯𝓸𝓻𝓰𝓸𝓽 𝓫𝓾𝓽 𝓷𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓻 𝓱𝓮𝓪��𝓮𝓭 ||🪻||

🦢🪷🐚

𝓣𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝓫𝓵𝓸𝓰 𝓲𝓼 𝓪 𝓰𝓻𝓪𝓿𝓮𝔂𝓪𝓻𝓭 𝓸𝓯 𝓹𝓻𝓮𝓽𝓽𝔂 𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓾𝓰𝓱𝓽𝓼 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓹𝓻𝓮𝓽𝓽𝓲𝓮𝓻 𝓽𝓱𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓽𝓼. 𝓘 𝓻𝓸𝓶𝓪𝓷𝓽𝓲𝓬𝓲𝔃𝓮 𝓭𝓮𝓬𝓪𝔂, 𝔀𝓻𝓲𝓽𝓮 𝓪𝓫𝓸𝓾𝓽 𝓹𝓮𝓸𝓹𝓵𝓮 𝔀𝓱𝓸 𝓷𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓻 𝓰𝓸𝓽 𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓹𝔂 𝓮𝓷𝓭𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼, 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓹𝓸𝓼𝓽 𝓵𝓲𝓴𝓮 𝓘’𝓶 𝓵𝓮𝓪𝓿𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓬𝓵𝓾𝓮𝓼 𝓫𝓮𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓭.

[phoenate]

the overglorification of pain and suffering has to stop. And I needed to stop normalising it.

Would i hurt the little girl who loves the glitters?

Am I not her? Why do I have to hate myself? Hurt myself? To sacrifice myself? And sob in silence?

Maybe I can pacify that little girl? Soothe myself.

I don't want to get hurt

[phoenate]

And still the blues describe a fragment of my soul's true sadness.

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agnostic is lowkey the funniest belief system it's just like yeah idk it's none of my business

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Lioness isn't happy about this :(

The lion does not concern itself with the bank account balance when a little treat is calling

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I LOVED talking as a child, but barely 2 years into adulting— I do not see myself talking to anyone until absolutely obliged. It hurts my inner child for what I have become or this was necessary?

I have become so independent and satisfied with being by myself alone, that getting used to new people is becoming harder and harder;

to the point, where I don’t even understand why they are needed to be around me anymore.

[phoenate]

Burnout is a jockey and he's riding me to death.

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kaveh akbar, 'calling a wolf a wolf' // doc luben, 'love letters or suicide notes' // @/nutnoce, tumblr // 'my body's made of crushed little stars', mitski // @/ojibwa, tumblr // 'spring', mary oliver

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Felt unworthy my whole life and even now. I wonder if it'll change?

you're allowed to be held.

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Are you becoming what you've always hated?

Isle of Dogs / Game of Thrones / Painting by Jenn Mazza / Unknown / Ancestral Memory by Hari Alluri / Unknown / Venetta Octavia / Emma Tranter / Unknown / Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo / @ machineryangel

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More Ao3 author’s notes!

Part 1

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i think all the best sci-fi is the sci-fi that looks dirty and lived in. like yeah we could have space travel and lasers but people are still gonna leave dirty cups by the side of their sleep pod and get weird alien mud stuck on their boots and put off fixing that faulty light on the lower deck of the spaceship. its relatable. its humanizing.

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reblog if you’re a sick fuck

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