poeticattractions - Tumblr blog

[poeticattractions]

John Piper

[poeticattractions]

𝙳𝙴𝙰𝚁 𝙶𝙾𝙳,

My words, my passion. It was all silenced. Muted. In it, sin has taken its place. It stayed rooted. Deep within my core. Demons came and looted the gifts you gave me. I’ve become polluted. Unsuited to shout praises from the very lips you gave me. My shame kept me muted.

I’ve missed you. You’ve invaded my dreams day in and out. The longing only grew. My desire for you clouded my view. Clouded everything I thought I knew. And in bed I laid, eyes screwed as my tears held the prayer I was so afraid to speak out because of the battles I’ve been through.

The pain. The longing. The desire I felt made me feel drained. I fought it. So hard. I was afraid of where it was going to take me. I was afraid of the truth. I was nothing but a empty little girl sitting in front of an oncoming train. Unable to move or speak, deciding to be stained over and over again by sins nasty thorn. It dug itself deep within my vein. Injecting itself into my bloodstream, settling itself into the roots of my pain filled heart. All I felt was pain.

I felt alone, even if I was surrounded by others. The people I’ve come to love hurt me. All after another and another. They latched themselves on to me. Saw my kindness and they snatched it away with glee. But time after time, I just wanted to be heard and given their time. But deep down, I knew that my longing was for you but still I decided to flee.

I ran like a dog with its tail hidden in between its legs. Now here I am, tears streaming down my face as I call out to the Holy Spirit and beg.

Your voice I never obeyed. I would listen and go about my way. Yet I had the nerve to kneel down and pray when my disobedience caused our relationship to become decayed. I have missed you, the pain has weighed itself on me. The distraction of the blade against my skin has etched itself into my head, but instead I use my fingernails so the wanting can fade. I’ve been stuck in a dark shade, pull me out, I want to see your pure love mend to my brokenness. Your healing will be more than a simple band-aid.

In you my worth has been located. Your pure love is what I seek to have, it’s all you portray. In this world, I’ve been cheated and played with. My identity has been degraded by lies as your body’s price I’ve betrayed.

I am sorry for all that I have done. The porn that kept me stunned and immobile to stop and run. I am sorry for making you my second and not my number one. I am sorry for the curses that have spewed so poisonously from my lips, that have left a sting on those I lashed it out on. I am sorry for staying up till dawn on my phone or watching something and not giving you nothing but a “Thank You” with a long yawn.

- 𝚙𝚘𝚎𝚝𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜♡︎

[poeticattractions]

TW

: there are mentions of a blade, cutting, and suicidal intentions.

IT IS TIME

I have become friends with my blade.

I cut designs along my body, imagining what it would feel like to see my vision fade.

Darkness gripping all around me, grabbing a hold of me.

If you looked into my world; vast darkness that stretched on for miles is all you would see.

I’ve become addicted to that cutting feeling.

It got me staring at the ceiling wishing I was healing.

Tears and pain is all I know.

Mask on my face so my feelings won’t show.

I want to heal. I don’t want to be afraid to feel.

Letting go of what’s holding me back, I will repair the brokenness of my heart; I will fill up all the cracks.

It is time for me to be set free, tired of my soul crying out in silent pleas.

It’s time to prove everyone wrong, this is the chance to write my own story; to play my own song.

I will push through the storm. Fighting through the hail, rain, snow, and windstorm, my pain won’t deform me anymore; it will have to listen to what I say. It will have to conform.

I am a warrior, a soldier in battle. I will look pain in the eyes and make it shake and rattle.

These scars that decorate my skin show the toughest battles I’ve been in. Although pain decided to take me out on a chaotic spin, I will kick it in its shin and beat it with a grin.

I WILL WIN.

- poeticattractions ♡

|| PSA - Jesus loves you ❤️ keep on fighting. You are way stronger than you think. Give yourself some credit, you made it this far. ||

- Thank you once more @iespeciallyme for requesting this. It challenged me alotttttt !!!

[poeticattractions]

WORDS

He had snatched my words from my lips, I couldn’t even write any pain filled scripts.

He silenced my talent and placed in my hands men that were gallant.

I became overwhelmed without my words, my pain was just on me heavy; it burned.

I cried out to God, “Take back what he stole.”

The enemy has one goal and that’s to destroy my gentle soul.

If I don’t have my words, my pain is bottled up; it stays preserved.

I couldn’t cry or spill out any words to God. Smile on my face but it was all a facade.

I ran from God, I couldn’t face my pain.

Struggling to say a sentence or two; I just didn’t know how to explain.

Without my words I am nothing. With my words I’m becoming something.

Without my words, my world is a mess. Without my words, my pain is left unexpressed.

Without my words, I fail to cry or speak. But that doesn’t stop my pain from bleeding out of my heart, it’s cracked edges make my unsaid words leak.

Snatching back what he stole, you renewed me once more. You filled me up with words that filled up my hearts core.

- poeticattractions ♡

Hey guys, I know it has been FOREVERRRR since I last wrote but your good sis was going through some spiritual battle and I lost the ability to even speak on how I felt. But I am doing much better lately and God filled up my heart with words once more while I was reading Proverbs. Hope you enjoyed ❤️.

[poeticattractions]

“I try to believe,“ she said "that God doesn’t give you more than one little piece of the story at once. You know, the story of your life. Otherwise your heart would crack wider than you could handle. He only cracks it enough so you can still walk, like someone wearing a cast. But you’ve still got a crack running up your side, big enough for a sapling to grow out of. Only no one sees it. Nobody sees it. Everybody thinks you’re one whole piece, and so they treat you maybe not so gentle as they would if they could see that crack.”

—

Rebecca Wells, The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood

[poeticattractions]

beautifully written ❤️

I’ve been told I have an addicting personality, which is probably why I get used so much, here’s a poem I made about that.

Open my mouth,

Hold a finger to my lips.

Reach in, take the words you need,

Swollow my begging scripts.

Consume all I have,

I do this in your favor.

Steal all that you want,

Then move on to something greater.

A deception I believed,

Woven with your own veins.

I had fallen so far in,

Undone with your mind games.

That my love was your drug,

I was the glue that kept you together.

Not once did I mind it,

Or shake under the pressure.

You whine about being a junkie,

Darling, I gave you the time of your life.

But blame the stock you’ve invested in,

Unraveling, now I am the pharos of your strife.

So you chew on my lethal dose,

And I’m being consumed by you.

Be careful of how much you use me though,

Because addiction isn’t something you can undo.

Portray how you fell in love with me,

Abhorre me for all of the same reasons.

You tell me that I wasn’t compelling enough for you,

So why is it me who’s stuck fighting your demons?

You beg the gods against a reaction,

While it is you who is running out of cures.

My effect is finally taking it’s toll,

Make sure to sign your will with, “sincerely yours”.

Still, you can’t get enough,

Pour my ink into your bloodstream.

Now look what you’ve done to yourself,

Making such a contaminated scheme.

Be sure to shut your mouth,

You wouldn’t want to catch a fly.

I’m a poet, don’t look so bewildered,

I exploite your dependency to make you cry.

Are you surprised that I am a person,

Someone who wants to be loved?

My role of being a supplement is over,

I’m done being pushed and shoved.

You may be feeling betrayed,

All I did was turn the tables on you.

You still got the entertainment you asked for,

I was an intoxicating devious view.

Maybe I was worth your roaring 20’s,

And using the entire regression of your former self.

But now I’m even more interesting,

And you’re just collecting dust on a shelf.

[poeticattractions]

PURSUING JESUS

Do you hear the way my broken soul cries out to you, do you hear me God?

Do you see the way the tears drip down my face like a faucet with incessant dripping, do you see?

Did you see the way I couldn’t take any more pain so I locked up my heart and threw away the key, did you see?

Seek you and you shall be found they say.

So I went your way.

I seek’d you and found you and that’s where my heart decided to lay.

You are that ray of sunshine on a cloudy day.

You kept my pain at bay and gave my life color after seeing so much grey.

Now I do my best to pray while putting my relationship with you on display.

But I tripped.

Feet got close to the edge and slipped.

Blood oozing out my torn heart, it dripped.

Knees caked in mud, jeans all ripped.

Sin trying it’s best to keep me gripped, I fell deceived to the enemies lies; my heart became chipped.

I beg you to never leave my side.

“Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”, you replied.

That night I laid wide awake as I cried.

I knew that I had to push my pride aside and allow myself to be guided by you, I did my best to listen; I complied.

Please stay by my side, I tried to find a way out of my pain and it resulted in a piece of me that died.

The tears that I’ve cried have all been dried.

Thank you for never leaving my side.

[poeticattractions]

INSERTION

Hello fellow tumblrs🪼,

one of these blog introductions has been long due.

In this blog I will post:

written poems by me

reblogs

things about God

mental health awareness.

Godbless you all,

poeticattractions ♡︎

[poeticattractions]

TW :

there is ONE sentence in this poem that talks about needles and getting high. Although it is just one sentence, people react to things differently.

CHANGE

Change; changing.

I feel myself changing.

My pain is pouring out, it’s raining.

Running from my demons is draining.

They’re behind me, their speed is gaining. Pain that bleeds out on this page is staining.

No one looks in my eyes.

You can see my world falling apart with pitch black skies.

Threaded and woven lies hanging in the air with my muffled cries.

Broken eyes, pain in disguise. Needle in my arm getting me high, I watch in the mirror as the light in my eyes slowly dies.

- poeticattractions ♡︎

[poeticattractions]

HIS COLD HEART

His cold heart torn mine apart.

He crushed my heart and thought it was art.

But then his gaze softened and I felt my heart restart.

My heart thumped loudly in my chest, that’s when I knew the game of love had start.

I knew his love had been depart; I curse myself for not being smart.

His soft gaze turned cold just like his heart.

He left a mark with a poisoned filled dart.

Wedging that piece deep into a broken cracked part in my heart.

His cold heart torn mine apart.

- poeticattractions ♡︎

[poeticattractions]

"If I accept the sunshine and warmth, then I must also accept the thunder and lightning."

- Khalil Gibran

[poeticattractions]

WHAT IS LOVE?

Love is a beautiful drug. The way it consumes you whole and blinds you.

Love is being able to spot him in a crowd of people.

Love is just catching a glimpse of him and your whole world feels like finally getting sunshine on a rainy day.

Love is falling in love with every little thing about them: their flaws, their impurities, their mistakes.

Love is wanting to make them happy even if it destroys you in the end.

But love isn’t for everyone. Because what if you fall and they aren’t ready to catch you?

You collapse, hitting every stone and sharp edge on your way down and still believing that you will be ok until reality hits you and now your drowned in your own sea of torment.

Love can destroy you in both ways. It can destroy you with heartbreak or it can turn you into someone unrecognizable. It can turn you green with envy, red with rage, yellow with obsessiveness.

It can leave you shaking and gasping for a peaceful breathe every night that you go to bed and become confined in the shrouded cloud of your own thoughts.

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY ❤️❤️

- poeticattractions ♡︎

[poeticattractions]

HEART

𝙸𝚝’𝚜 𝚊𝚜 𝚒𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚌𝚎𝚍 𝚒𝚗 𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚎.

𝙲𝚘𝚖𝚋𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚝𝚠𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚍.

𝙼𝚊𝚍𝚎 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚘 𝚘𝚗𝚎.

𝚆𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚜 𝚋𝚎𝚌𝚊𝚖𝚎 𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚎.

- poeticattractions ♡︎

[poeticattractions]

DEAR GOD,

My chains clink and clank together as I struggle to be set free.

Thrashing around, begging with a plea.

I set my gaze upon your face, your nail pierced hands resting on my face.

Feeling your love and forgiveness wrap around me in an embrace.

Why you love me, this I’ll never know.

But I know that all these trials and tribulations will help me grow.

Even though I fall and slip on the cracks on the road; your light shines.

When I saw your kind eyes; you glowed.

Help me to stay rooted in you.

I’m tired of my pain leaving me feeling blue; I need you to make me feel renewed.

Give me you Lord, I’m on my knees.

I beg you to see me Lord, take all of my pain and sin-

throw it deep into the seven seas.

Undeserving of your unfailing love, you are the King of Kings.

Thank you for breaking these chains that had me tied up like puppets on strings.

I love YOU. 💗

- poeticattractions ♡︎

“He brought them out of darkness, the utter darkness, and broke away their chains.”

‭‭- Psalms‬ ‭107:14‬ ‭

[poeticattractions]

When did you realize you wanted to do poetry?

How long have you been doing poetry?

Do you plan to do it as a process job?

Hello, I realized I wanted to pursue poetry last year (2020). I’ve been doing poetry for 5 years now. Every time I wrote poetry it was a way for me to release built up frustration and pain. But I am not sure if I want to do it as a process job to be honest. I want to keep experimenting with words and how I can twist descriptive imagery in my own way as of now, let’s see how far that gets me. 🥰

Thank you for asking these questions 💋.

- poeticattractions ♡︎

[poeticattractions]

TOUCHING YOU

Soft—

Chocolate —

Velvet skin.

Large —

Warm —

Hands lifting up my chin.

Warm —

Plump —

Lips against mine.

The same lips that speak this rhyme.

Quiet moans and silent opened mouth groans.

You memorize every inch of my body, as if wanting to unravel every secret I hold.

Touching you has become my favorite thing to do, my eyes capture your body, your eyes, the view.

I trace every single detail on the ink sprawled against your skin, engraving every shape and intricate twist in my mind; deep within.

Goosebumps rise and awaken at your touch, making my skin flush.

It turns a beautiful shade of pink mixing in with a tint of red, as it begun to contrast against my bedsheets; they were fifty shades of grey.

Feeding a raging fire in the pit of my lower body; “This color looks enticing on you.”, you say.

I watch your plump lips form into a smirk as I shy away from your gaze; feeling my head swirling around with smoke, I feel stuck in a daze.

Touching you has become my favorite thing to do; it’s becoming nothing but addicting and exhilarating,too.

- poeticattractions ♡︎

[poeticattractions]

HIS MASTERPIECE

As my new born cry hit the silent air, He smiled.

As my tears ran down my face, soaking up my pillow, He wiped them.

I am His masterpiece.

As I laughed out loud and spoke to Him on how great my day was, He clinged to every word that fell past my lips.

As I got angry with Him and pushed Him away, He understood and provided me with love.

I am His masterpiece.

As I looked into the mirror and spoke out loud the words that He constantly heard on repeat in my head. The thoughts that would continuously circle and relentlessly torture me.. His heart yearned for me to realize how beautiful I was.

I am His masterpiece.

As I compared myself to girls on social media, He told me that I was enough.

He’s the artist and I’m His canvas. He’s the potter and I’m the clay. He’s the gardener and I’m His flower.

I am His masterpiece.

A creator that took His time to create His creation; that when He was done, He smiled and said “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness..” (Genesis 1:26)

I am His.

I am His masterpiece.

- poeticattractions ♡︎