pudd1ng-pup

[pudd1ng-pup]

POV: You're a gothamite and interrupted their little batfamily chit-chat session.

Art by Dylan Burnett (Instagram: @dylrburnett)

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my two favorites being shipped in the show is awesome actually

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fuckinh LOVE making fun of alpha males. like how does anyone take these fuckers seriously. they're like "we're so powerful and rich from scamming people that we aren't afraid of ANYTHING because we're MEN" and then it turns out they're scared of like. the color pink. youtube comedians. the dark. disney movies. gay people who aren't even bothering them. japan. vegetables. actual water. women speaking. women

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Sometimes I feel old and out of touch because I don't know anything about the hot new music but then I remember even when I was a teenager I did not know the hot new music because I was an uncool little nerd and my family didn't listen to the radio. So my out of touchness is consistent and not age related.

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XD , I can imagine Damian cackling echoing from the other room

Dick: Hey, Tim, your birthday is coming up, do you want anything?

Tim: Actually-

Jason, munching on a sandwich: Nah, that motherfucker was born by C-section. It's not his birthday, it's his release date.

Steph and Babs: *shoots water out their noses*

Bruce: JASON!

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A boy and his cow🌾

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genderfluid tim drake is eating my brain

—

cass, noticing tim wearing a she/they pronoun pin: girl day?

tim, shrugged: girl-ish day

cass, nodding: down for girls night though?

tim: always

cass: ill call steph and tell her your coming then

—

interviewer: so tim, with your recent more feminine looks at gala's you've got people wondering, are you a girl now?

tim: im whatever makes everyone who finds me hot gay

—

jason: ladies first

tim: im a boy

jason: im never holding a door open for you again

—

kon: so if you're like a boy, girl, and neither... does that mean your my boygirlpartnerfriend?

tim: what the hell, sure

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you're cute and it's tuesday

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Damian becoming the Doctor of the family, treating the Bats when they're injured, and taking care of them... But doing so in the most evil unhinged ways possible.

Damian, injecting something into Bruce's arm: I'll give you an anesthetic but you are in no condition to fight, Father. You'll be on bed rest until I clear you.

Bruce, already standing up, no fucks given: Thanks, Damian. But I really need to catch these people, they are– They–

Bruce: *Begins to stumble in place* They– y-you–

Damian:

Bruce, falling to the ground: W-what did you–?

*Evil boss music starts playing in the background*

Damian, slowly approaching: Oh, sorry, did I said I would give you anesthetic? I meant to say a paralyzing agent.

Bruce:

Damian: Don't worry, Father, Black Bat will take care of the case...

Damian, carrying Bruce back to bed:And you, as I said, will be on bed rest until I clear you.

*Evil music intensifies*

*After training*

Damian: I made limonade.

Dick, reaching for a glass: Thanks, Dam—

Damian: Not that one. That one is Drake's.

Dick: Oh–

Damian, handing Dick a glass: This one is yours.

Dick: Oh.

Damian:

Dick:

Dick: Did you- Did you put something in Tim's?

Damian:

Dick:... Did you put something in mine?

Damian:

Dick:What did you p–

Damian: Drink it, Grayson. It's good for you.

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golden age Batman didn't give a single shit

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I decided to keep reading, because the reading list I was working off of covers a bunch of important post-DitF comics featuring reactions to Jason's death and such, and man... Batman #430-435 is just depressing.

"Maybe I could stop thinking about Jason. Maybe I could sleep." I just feel bad for him!! He misses his kid 💔 (Batman (1940) #430)

He keeps a picture of Jason with him?? As Batman?? And pulls it out to look at after solving a seven-year-old cold case and reuniting a mother and son?? I feel like giving him a hug, this is just sad :( (Batman (1940) #431)

As for Dick, I read part of this scene a while ago, but it's still just devastating. That was his brother!! That was his baby brother, and Bruce didn't even try to contact Dick to tell him Jason was dead!! They didn't interact on page very much, but I think it's clear just from this reaction that they were close. That was his brother 💔 (The New Titans (1988) #55)

The next issue I read from the list was Batman (1940) #496 and aughhhhh this one was painful. Just. Ow. It's been a few years and Bruce's greatest fear is still Jason's death. It's just a memory instead of a hypothetical now.

"But... Jason... Jason is... dead." Just stab me in the heart, it'll hurt less!! The fact that he beats up the Joker while screaming Jason's name is such a devastating parallel to the way his thoughts at the end of DitF while he climbed up to fight Joker were just Jason's name... augh I will never be okay about them. That was his son! Jason was his son and I'm never going to be okay!

(Detective Comics (1937) #571, Batman (1940) #429)

So yeah, anyway, I'm very normal about all of this 👍

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Brucie can Crash Out sometimes

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Jason likes to randomly stick his freezing cold hands up Dick and Roy’s shirts, he gets a great satisfaction watching them try to fight him off.

>:} <- Jason

D:< - Dick and Roy

UGH MY MOM DID THAT TO ME. I’d be standing in the kitchen and all the sudden there’s A FREEZING HAND ON THE BACK OF MY NECK

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i have hired this fucking thing to stare at you

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Ideal work schedule:

I show up and am given a list of cognitively engaging but achievable tasks

I complete the list

I leave immedietly

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But what if all of Gotham knows that Brucie Wayne is a persona Bruce puts on for the public? Like they all saw him be a weird, quiet little boy even before his parents were killed. They saw him be a weirder, quieter little boy after they were killed. They saw him be a loner teenager who hated talking to people, who was always more comfortable keeping to himself.

Then he comes back after traveling the world and he’s suddenly a himbo playboy socialite? Either it’s all an act, or someone finally introduced Bruce Wayne to the good drugs. They’re more inclined to believe it’s the former considering they all start to notice that, while Bruce may always have a drink in his hand when he’s out and about, he never actually drinks it.

But they don’t say anything. They don’t call him out on it. He may be a weirdo, but he does his best to make Gotham a better place for everyone to live. He donates money to all sorts of local charities, he volunteers his time at soup kitchens, he donates brand new clothes and bedding and toiletries to shelters. He’s a good guy. Who cares if he’s a little odd.

Most Gothamites actually feel kinda bad that he must think he needs to play this goofball character in order to fit in, in order to be a contributing member to society.

So they let him play his role.

Then he adopts Dick Grayson, the little circus boy whose parents were just killed in front of him. Who’s eight years old, the same age Bruce was when his parents were also killed in front of him. And everyone knows exactly why he adopted him, because the parallels are too much, and they see so clearly in the way Bruce interacts with him that Bruce just wants to help him, that he understands exactly how Dick must be feeling.

And Dick is a very serious child, at first. He hardly speaks. He clings to Bruce’s hand if Bruce isn’t carrying him. He glares at people. When he does speak, it’s scathing, and he has a sharp tongue.

Then a couple years later, it’s like his personality has completely flipped. He’s goofy and silly and so very similar to Brucie. And they’re all reminded that Dick grew up in a circus, he’s a showman through and through, and they all know it’s an act. They all know Richie isn’t the real him.

But they let him perform, let him put on his show along with Bruce. Because Gotham loves the Waynes, and if they want to have a public persona to have some sort of privacy, then they aren’t going to stop them.

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i like the new suit