queen-bitchiest - Tumblr blog

[queen-bitchiest]

Me, on the welcome desk in the library: Good morning, how are you today?

Customer: I have welcomed Jesus into my heart and so I am well today and every day.

Me, a little unnerved: Okay then! Is there something I can help you with?

Customer, digging around in his bag and pulling out an iPhone in a box: Unfortunately, Jesus can't help me with this fucking phone, so I came to the library.

[queen-bitchiest]

i think the best genre of image is "creatures trapped in starbucks cups with receipts reading [cup of water (no water, no ice, creature)]"

[queen-bitchiest]

[queen-bitchiest]

[queen-bitchiest]

[queen-bitchiest]

Just let me go or take me with you

[queen-bitchiest]

more adhd things

[queen-bitchiest]

[queen-bitchiest]

one thing about americans is that they know how to make a fucking milkshake

[queen-bitchiest]

"when people ask how you're doing, they don't really care." most of them do, actually, the amount they care is just directly proportional to how well they know you. you're just mad you can't be the main character of the Twice Daily.

[queen-bitchiest]

It’s just something about John Marston being twenty-six. Little John needs saving again. Twenty-six and he thinks he’s going to bleed out on a snowy mountain top. Twenty-six and he’s watching his friends die all around him. Twenty-six and he’s got a kid and a wife to think about. Twenty-six and one of the only fathers he’s ever known gets shot in front of him. Twenty-six and the only father he’s got left stands idly by while he gets arrested. Twenty-six and the only father he’s got is disappointed to see him out of jail. Twenty-six and the only father he’s got leaves him to die on the side of a railroad track. Twenty-six and he’s on a snowy mountain again, this time saying goodbye to his only brother. Little John needs saving again. Take my hat this time, too. I know, I know. Twenty-six and starting a life. Twenty-six and utterly, completely, absolutely alone.

[queen-bitchiest]

i love how Gandalf invested in Hobbits in year one and has been pushing them ever since. Thorin, i hear you need help with a breaking and entering. Can I recommend one of these little cunts? Silent as fuck, trust me. Elrond my dude i know you're skeptical but these four chucklefucks just transported a weapon of mass destruction all the way here. Theoden, you've gotta get yourself a hobbit man, I've got a spare one here. Denathor you big prick, take a hobbit - literally this is the bottom of the range but listen to him sing. Beautiful little bastard.

[queen-bitchiest]

Please grant me the strength not to pick the scab the serenity not to pick the scab and the wisdom not to pick the scab

[queen-bitchiest]

[queen-bitchiest]

You are allowed to exist alone in public btw. You're allowed to go to the movies alone and go out to eat alone and hang out in a park alone and go for a walk alone and whatever else. It isn't weird or creepy, it doesn't make you lonely or a loser or whatever. You are allowed to just exist as yourself.

[queen-bitchiest]

animation of jimmy getting owned in real life

bonus gif of him celebrating i made for funsies :] oh the oblivious bliss...