queenofchinatown528hz - Tumblr blog

[queenofchinatown528hz]

To avoid disappointment, stop seeing the good in people and start seeing exactly what they’ve shown you.

[queenofchinatown528hz]

The older you get, the more you choose calm over chaos and distance over disrespect. Drama becomes intolerable to you, and your peace becomes your highest priority. You start surrounding yourself with people who are good for your mental health, heart, and soul.

[queenofchinatown528hz]

I want to choose myself every day, and I want to be accountable for my mistakes but also be accountable for my own well-being and happiness.

I do not need to push myself or participate in things that are stressing out my body, mind, or spirit.

I don’t need to be happy when I’m not. I don’t need to act healthy when I’m not. I don’t need to suppress emotions if I am feeling them.

I can communicate better and effectively, and I’m learning more how to do that every day. I can be straightforward as much as I need to be to gain clarity while respecting others.

I don’t want to guess what other people are doing if they can’t tell me. I embrace being auDHD and needing clarity and context, so I don’t have anxiety.

I trust myself to respect boundaries the best I can, and to honor any ones I break and take accountability.

I don’t need to blame or shift responsibility to other people for my own part to play in this world. I can have feelings, and I can always retrospect (like yeah, there were many things I did not know at the time, and I was ignoring a lot of personal healing work out of fear, a fucked up sense of comfortability, and a lack of discernment).

I trusted the wrong people. I didn’t speak up more about my needs. I lied about my needs out of habit to protect myself, and I don’t regret needing to protect myself.

I don’t regret seeking love and giving the benefit of the doubt.

I regret the toll it had on me when I started suffering so much.

If I’m such a pattern-perceiver, then I can learn to trust my body.

I don’t need to always be right, but I need to do right by myself.

I can still be kind to people and stand up for my loved ones, while holding space and respect for myself.

People are indeed struggling with their own things… and they have their coping mechanisms, hurtful behaviors, etc. I don’t need to participate in any of that if it hurts me. I can love from afar.

I don’t need to chase anyone or anything if it doesn’t feel like it’s making efforts for me. I don’t need to be resentful about it either. (And effort can honestly look like simple communication - it’s ok if people can’t do stuff with or for me, but it’s about how they consider me in their energy).

[queenofchinatown528hz]

In a fully functional organism, an emotion has a very short life span. It is like a momentary ripple or wave on the surface of your Being. When you are not in your body, however, an emotion can survive inside you for days or weeks, or join with other emotions of a similar frequency that have merged and become the pain-body, a parasite that can live inside you for years, feed on your energy, lead to physical illness, and make your life miserable.

Eckhart Tolle

[queenofchinatown528hz]

Taking time for myself a few times a week to do this has come to be times I look forward to. Not only does it calm my mind but also relaxes my body. I'm going through lots of changes right now and still stayting true to myself. Its been a wild ride but i know i will be better for it.

(via tatiana adlı kullanıcının fitness panosundaki Pin | Yaşam stili, Sağlıklı yaşam stili, Yoga egzersizleri   || Curated with love by yogadaily) 

[queenofchinatown528hz]

Always lvl'ing up. You would be surprised how much the mind can take on. Stay strong. Keep doing the work. <3

The deeper you heal, the higher you raise the bar on who gets access to you.

[queenofchinatown528hz]

Reminder

People who tell you to respect their boundaries and they don't respect yours are toxic.

People who constantly remind you about their favours are toxic

People who take up for someone but won't take up for you even if the situation is same are toxic

People who want respect but don't give respect are toxic

People who are nice can be toxic

People who expect you to cross oceans for them but they won't cross a puddle for you are toxic

People from your own family can be toxic

People from your friend group can be toxic

People who frustrate you purposely to irritate you are toxic

People who stress you out just for fun are toxic

People who blame you for expressing emotions are toxic

People who misuse your kindness are toxic.

People who call you "dramatic" and dismiss your emotions are toxic

People who take more than they give are toxic

People who don't want to adjust with you but expect you to are toxic

People who violate your peace of mind continuously are toxic

People who make you apologize for something that isn't your fault are toxic

People who make you seem like the bad guy are toxic.

People who never apologize for their faults are toxic

People who never acknowledge that they're wrong are toxic

People can be toxic. People can be toxic even if they're your family, friends, collogues, classmates, spouses. Remember. That.

It is better to be aware than to be ignorant. Don't let anyone treat you badly. You deserve all the respect you get.

[queenofchinatown528hz]

Never faked my "I miss you" and "I love you", Only thing I faked is "I'm Okay".

[queenofchinatown528hz]

Liar, liar…

[queenofchinatown528hz]

Sorrow

Source: †

[queenofchinatown528hz]

I’m trying to reframe my narrative. It’s harder to forgive myself when I’m constantly saying to myself: how fucked up must I’ve been to marry someone who actively hated me, my needs, and my values? How fucked up must I’ve been to be in a series of situationships with people who did not have capacity for me? How desperate must I’ve been to prove myself while being hurt and unconsidered?

I want to reframe it.

I want to do this because I love myself, and I don’t need to tell myself I’m fucked up. I don’t need to hear or internalize it from other people.

I also don’t want to be in misaligned relationships or friendships.

How wonderful I must have been to have so much hope and love. How beautiful am I that I grow from the lessons of my life. How cool I must have been to know that I matter and my needs matter.

(I’m sure I can keep doing this while acknowledging how bad I feel sometimes… and how hard it is to truly feel like I’ll always be alone (I’m trying to love myself so much so I don’t feel this but it’s a process, I suppose.))

[queenofchinatown528hz]

bellum omnium in omnes

[queenofchinatown528hz]

“I just want to be with someone who doesn’t disappear when love gets tough.”

— j. iron word

[queenofchinatown528hz]

My girlfriend reminds me of this every day. Don’t forget to be patient with yourself. This is only temporary.

[queenofchinatown528hz]

you don’t talk too much. you aren’t too loud. you aren’t too needy. you aren’t too sensitive. you aren’t too this, or that. you aren’t too much anything. you will never be too much: you are you, and you are allowed to take up space. you are allowed to exist however you choose.

[queenofchinatown528hz]

emotional processing is so funny because sometimes you’ll be violently sobbing on your bedroom floor over something that happened 4 years ago and then you’ll just. get up and make coffee. and go to the grocery store. and take all this fundamental sadness for a walk. and ponder the cosmic experiences of humanity while eating a sandwich. and that’s healing.

[queenofchinatown528hz]

“Waiting for a beam to break through here

A chain way vision, all bright and clear

And they talk and they dance.

I was expecting something pure with a golden hair

Arms full of bracelets and smoke in the air

And they talk and they dance.

Here comes darkness, just afternoon

Waiting for a sign

If I survive, I'll worship the moon

Or something, anything…..

I've been studying for years, patiently

Is this as far as you can take me?

This must be it, long for bliss

First it was so quiet

And now I know I'm not alone in here.

And they talked and they danced….”