queerasacoot

[queerasacoot]

TRIGGER WARNING: misogyny, sexism, transmisogyny, transphobia, rape, victim blaming, swearing, male privilege and generally being an objectionable human being.

Someone posted this article on facebook, mainly to call bull shit. A rant:

It's weird how he doesn't acknowledge or even seem to realise that long hair being considered feminine is culturally based and not human nature. I mean, one theory of why people find long hair attractive on females is that it signifies fertility, which makes some sense:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R1acEHz7FRM

But short hair being masculine is almost certainly because of its cultural context.

Having consensual sex with someone is having consensual sex with someone. It is not someone's responsibility to validate his narrow concepts of heterosexuality or masculinity. A woman who's trans* or a woman who has short hair is not a trap, she's a person. She is not your mind. It's not her responsibility to conform to it: it's up to her to interpret and and communicate consent: yes or no. Fucking her from behind sounds like a pretty resounding yes.

I like looking like a weird boy. I like looking androgynous. I like people being attracted to me as such. I like that if a guy is comfortable being attracted to me, he's not this guy.

I don't get cat called- I seldom get treated primarily as a sex object; that that privilege isn't extended to stereotypically feminine presenting females is fucked up.

No one is forcing anyone to have sex here.

It is not a woman's responsibility to please.

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A friend posted this video on facebook today. I spent a lot longer than intended creating a response, so it's going up here.

Trigger warnings: sex, porn, consent, ostracised sex workers, sex work, patriarchy

I'm quite torn about this video- on one hand I agree with a lot of his points. One of which is that it would be helpful to talk about this more, thus hello~!

I agree that mainstream heterosexual porn...

is designed for the male gaze

almost always shows the male as dominant and the female as submissive

perpetuates the patriarchal beauty standard

objectifies women

has real-world supply and demand lead repercussions

like sex workers having low social privilege

And that media changes your thinking.

However!

“Porn” is a very broad brush stroke. I think this medium – sexuality captured on video, can be powerful in positive ways.

To my thinking, anything involving consenting adults is ok. By consent I mean, everyone involved wants to do this thing, is sober, isn't being coerced and everyone is of equal power.

Media certainly shapes our minds and our culture so I think porn, more than whatever kind of sex someone's having, needs to be conscious of what messages it's putting forth.

But rather than boycotting the whole topic as he suggests, I would go a step further and consume and create porn and erotica that represents what we want to see. Consent, subjectifying women, performers, a sex positivity, representation of people with various body types, trans* people...

Look!

This exists:

www.facebook.com/FeministPrnAwards

Here are some out-spoken porn performers who enjoy their work:

twitter.com/stoya

twitter.com/billycastroxxx

twitter.com/jizlee

www.ohjoysextoy.com/jizlee/ - Here's an interview with Jiz Lee in comic form.

A porn performer, director and producer

twitter.com/courtneytrouble (NSFW)

Some ethical, independent, and mostly queer, porn

pinklabel.tv/ (NSFW)

www.indiepornrevolution.com/indie-porn/ (NSFW)

ftmfucker.com/ (NSFW) (always at least one female to male transsexual in a scene)

crashpadseries.com/ (NSFW) (largely lesbian audience, very queer)

www.ohjoysextoy.com/crashpad/ - here's a review of crash pad by the same artist.

Is there a difference between a prostitute and a porn performer?

https://www.facebook.com/hotstoya/posts/10150976694808485?fref=nf

TLDR: in practice, yes, but both accept money for sex.

His solution to sex workers being ostracised is to say, just don't do sex work. While in many cases this is a practical, short-term solution, I would rather change society; build one so that the only reason someone would go into sex work is because they want to. One where they consent, and it is not their last option. But if someone wants to and enjoys it, let's create a society that embraces that.

Here's an article from a happy sex worker, specifically a prostitute:

www.smh.com.au/comment/why-im-happy-to-be-a-sex-worker-20130913-2toi6.html

He also talks about his fantasies before porn being tender and gentle, and about the story. I think this is common of a lot of people. But there are also a lot of people who have fantasies about dominance, submission, pain, bondage... and a whole bunch of really random stuff, without stemming from an outside influence. And that's ok! Just if you act on these fantasies, do so within the framework of good consent.

As far as taking away imagination, let's talk about this in a broader sense. Do people talk about movies and series taking away their ability to imagine? Not as much as they rave about them. I say be conscious of what media you're consuming and how it affects you, but that doesn't mean that it can't be inspirational rather than a sedative.

For good measure...

A comic which gives a good, entertaining introduction into BDSM, and is, imo, really hot:

shiniez.deviantart.com/gallery/35675685

Laci Green's guide to consent:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TD2EooMhqRI

In conclusion/TLDR:

I agree with Gavrieli in that media shapes thought and that mainstream porn currently perpetuates the oppression of women. But it's totally possible to create porn and erotica that empowers people and shapes positive thought! A medium doesn't equal it's content.

Rather than boycotting porn all together, if you consume or create it, do so ethically. While I would like to see more representation of tender, caring, romantic sex, that doesn't mean that kink or BDSM aren't valid tastes and choices. Just, as in all things, practice good consent.

- Shola Lee

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Haven't posted in a while but this is great. "I am not trapped in my body I am trapped in other people's perceptions of my body." "I was not born into the wrong body, I was born into a world that does not know what my body means."

I relate.

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Good times at Le Monocle, a lesbian bar in Paris, circa 1930.

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me and jazz’s reaction to being show this awful page from a health guide in gym

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A thing about gender

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COOTS

I'm making this a queer blog, rather than just a gender one, 'cause that's what's happening anyway. Mainly posting this for my own brain, but maybe someone is curious, or will be in the future (OR THE PAST. UHH.). Apparently "queer as a coot" is a real saying so I'm running with the bird thing. I've always liked "queer as fuck" in reference to "queer as folk" but then, I've never seen the show, I once heard that swearing show's a lack of imagination (which makes a little sense) and, of course, it was taken. tadah, COOTS.

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What do you think about titles, due you think you'll choose one? Personally I'm sick of them and wish I could have no title

I use Mister when I have to. I think it’s really cute when Emery calls me mister. But I dislike that there are not any gender neutral titles that I can pick from that people actually know. But I don’t really super mind mister so I guess I am pretty lucky.

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adventures of a non-binary trans*person in a binary world

Someone's blog with some seldom-talked about topics like trans* asexuality and hormone therapy for non-binary trans* folk. Well written and I like them.

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Custom made suits with masculine-presenting female designated at birth folks in mind! Boy are they pricey but if anyone's looking for specifically this, they look really sharp. I have no experience in their service but thought someone might want this.

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Ohh having a space to write you own makes so much sense.

indivicivet - I had initially considered this, but I couldn’t find a nonawkward way to bring it about design-wise. I’ll definitely keep trying, though, and make it available as soon as I can.

bakapetal - Noted!

snowsplotched - D’oh - that’s a really damn smart idea and I don’t know why I didn’t think of it. I’ll definitely be doing this in the next print run.

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I am really, extremely, amazingly excited to announce the release of my new Hello Pronoun stickers! I posted about these on twitter last night, but I can finally talk about them at length a bit more here. 

The stickers read “Hello, address me as:_________, Please use: ________”, allowing you to declare your name of choice and preferred pronouns immediately upon meeting people. These have been my pet project over the last week or two and a lot of thought has gone into their production. The colours were specifically chosen to be nongendered - no pink or baby blue (The Ze/Hir/Hirs looks a bit blue in these pictures but is really solidly teal), They rather specifically do not read “my name is” to head off people being dicks about “Is that REALLY your name?” because frankly it doesn’t matter if it is or not because it’s what you fucking go by. (Besides which, the concept of a true name is pretty bullshit unless you’re looking into demon summoning) I feel like there are a lot of great potential uses for these! They’d be great at school LGBT-club meetings or other large gatherings where you’re likely to meet a lot of new people, like conventions. They can be used right after coming out to help people who’ve known you for a while adapt to your new name/pronouns. If you’re genderfluid, you can use them to declare your preference on any particular day (and I’m looking into some more permanent buttons that’d make this much easier). They can even be used to remind that one old friend who can never get your damn pronouns right. Overall, it seems like these’ll be a wonderfully useful thing for folks under the trans* umbrella to have around and I’m really happy to have made them.

Obviously I couldn’t cover every pronoun variation/combination, particularly on the first run of stickers, but I tried to cover my bases on common nongendered/third gender pronouns. I’m completely open to taking requests for additional stickers, though, and if I get enough requests for a particular pronoun set I’ll be glad to maker a sticker for it.

I’ll have these with me at SacAnime this weekend for 1/$0.50, 5/$2, and 10/$3. They’re currently available on my Storenvy at 5/$2 - I’ll be adding 10/$3 after the con, at the moment I just want to make sure I don’t run out as I’ve only printed up 160 of each design.

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MOAR REDEFINITIONS

I've been feeling uncomfortable posting here because

who am I to say what is gender brave

and, as inclusive as I try to be, I can only speak for me.

So I've mostly been using my personal, rebloggery tumblr: http://coloursoulfairy.tumblr.com/ But I still think it could still be useful and helpful to have a blog dedicated to gender things. I'm just going to have more of an "I" and use "gendergander" until I can find something better. Ironically, gander is gendered. Maybe I'll draw some non-binary gander. Who knows.

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awww once again, queer things rather than just gender things. But asexuality isn't talked about enough, I think, so here's a dinosaur (logic!).

Tiny Dinosaur wanted to help out with awareness so he made a tiny presentation. Suggestions for improvements are very welcome, he has never made a presentation about asexuality before and he wants to make sure he gets it right.