randommusingsofachaoticmind

[randommusingsofachaoticmind]

Logged in tonight after an extended hiatus - 7834 hours to be exact. So much has happened

Went for ADHD diagnosis, got a combined AuDHD diagnosis instead. The doc asked me did I think I was autistic. I told her I didn’t think so. She was surprised I even held that opinion 👀 I’m still trying to process the diagnosis.

Then a close family member was diagnosed with small cell lung cancer. They’ve been fighting it for a few months but it looks like we have very little time left.

So, there’s been a fair bit of burnout which looks set to continue for now.

[randommusingsofachaoticmind]

AND THAT’S WRAP with 34 mins to spare. This has been an absolute slog getting to the end of this year. I wasn’t interested in anything really and being interest driven, it was just 😒 all year

Hopefully no resit and onwards and upwards!!

[randommusingsofachaoticmind]

😳 related to this way too much

In response to "did you do the thing we just talked about 2 hours ago?"

[randommusingsofachaoticmind]

After much soul searching I’ve decided to go to for testing for ADHD and/or Autism. It’s a combined assessment.

As soon as I pressed the button I wasn’t even sure if I should be going for it. Sure I’m ok. Everyone is saying I’m ok. What’s the point?

But no one else is me. No one else knows what’s happening inside my head and I sound like a lunatic when I’m trying to explain it. To be fair to other people they’re used to looking at me and nothing has changed. I’m still a delight 😏

And now I have a migraine and I’ve visual disturbance starting (it’s normal for me, don’t worry).

Stressssssssssssssssss 👀

[randommusingsofachaoticmind]

Sunday studies of the psychology kind. Cannot wait until this year is over and I get my weekends back to do absolutely nothing but chill out!

[randommusingsofachaoticmind]

Greatest lie ever told 😏

[randommusingsofachaoticmind]

So I don’t post for a few weeks and all the bots leave?? If I could be offended, I would be lol

[randommusingsofachaoticmind]

It’s the start of Lent. Here, in Ireland (for people of my age anyway), Lent was used as a stick to beat you with when you were a child. Everybody had to go off something and an ad for Trocaire was every second ad on the TV (the whole six channels we had at that time, two of which didn’t do ads because they were the BBC).

Now as an adult I beat myself with that stick but it’s my choice. I still get the Catholic guilt when I break it. It’s worse than having to go in to your mammy and tell her you’ve been a bad girl and there’s been a lot of those times!

I still consider it a penance for all the crap things I do during the year but I learn nothing from it. It just clears the slate in my mind and I just rack up another bill to be cleared the following Lent.

So here’s to another six-ish weeks of denial. By the time it’s over I expect to be at least a stone lighter

[randommusingsofachaoticmind]

I love looking at everyone’s aesthetic photographs of their study spaces. Also what they’re eating. Love those. Food is what I talk about most at work and at training. And alcohol.

How do they do it though? When I’m studying it looks like there’s been a pack of ferrets rumbling through my desk. Also, what I eat can only be described as nutritionally devoid snacky snacks.

Am I doing it wrong, I wonder?

[randommusingsofachaoticmind]

Early morning tutorial 📖

Absolute requirements are headphones to drown out the noise of the wain and water (which I feel should really be wine for any number of reasons).

[randommusingsofachaoticmind]

“If you don’t go after what you want, you’ll never have it. If you don’t ask, the answer is always no. If you don’t step forward, you’re always in the same place.”

— Nora Roberts

[randommusingsofachaoticmind]

Snow brings a special quality with it—the power to stop life as you know it dead in its tracks.” — Nancy Hatch Woodward

[randommusingsofachaoticmind]

The hamster turning the wheel definitely works overtime

“Stop thinking so much. You’re breaking your own heart.”

— Unknown

[randommusingsofachaoticmind]

Part of the Morning Miracle is you read for 10 mins - something self-improvement. So I’m reading Atomic Habits by James Clear. I’m about half way through. Anyone whose done psychology will be familiar with some of the terms in it.

But what struck me today is that sometimes I prepare and prepare to do stuff yet get nothing done. There’s a lot of motion (prep work) yet no action. The motion, for me, is another way to procrastinate. Also it’s possibly a way to put off failure. I get it. When I’m doing assignments for uni, I leave it to the last minute (also partly due to poor executive functioning skills) but I’ve researched it until all I have is an overload of information. I know I have a good answer in there somewhere but I’m afraid that it’s not going to be good enough.

Moral of today’s random musing - less talk, more action.

[randommusingsofachaoticmind]

[randommusingsofachaoticmind]

[randommusingsofachaoticmind]