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Defying the definition of “beauty”

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30th Bday 1-20-91

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Blurred linez.

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I write children’s books! They are on Amazon. Go check out my latest book Ghost of Lee Lake House. I have been writing since age six!

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Crazy Ex

You start a relationship and things are going great. This is it for you and you expect to spend your life with your lover. His ex cannot accept that he has finally moved on and their random hook ups have ended. She starts calling him non stop. She pops up at his house. She stalks you on social media. Even her friends stalk you on social media. Sometimes she may go as far as making a fake profile to stalk your social media.

What do you do in this instance? Your first thought may be to slap some sense into her. You are beautiful and classy. Don’t stoop to that level. One huge factor in this situation is your new boo who has this crazy Ex. Here are some rules: he should not talk to her at all. He should never let her disrespect you without intervening. He should ignore her and her friends if he runs into them in public. He should have her blocked on his social media. Bottom line: she should no longer feel special or important to him.

It gets messy when your new boo is still trying to satisfy his ex. He doesn’t want to hurt her feelings. He wants them to remain friends, despite her constant disrespect. He still feels something for her and wants to keep her slightly in his life. If any of these issues has arised, it is time for you to leave your new boo or put your foot down. If his actions do not change after you express your feelings, leave without warning.

Sometimes men can be in new relationships and still string their ex along in case of a breakup with you. (Women will do this too!) It’s not cool at all but you have the power to stay or leave. You may end up having a confrontation with the crazy ex and if you do stay classy. There may be nasty remarks and glaring eyes but you are too beautiful to indulge in ignorance. However, do not allow anyone to get in your personal space!

Why is she acting like that though? There are many reasons but these are the top two! (1.) She still has feelings for him (2.) He may still be entertaining those feelings of hers. Yeah, it sucks but this may be the case. There are good guys who have the wrong ex. He broke it off with her and she just can’t handle it. Instead of hating him, she hates you. Here comes the stalking!

You will get all types of insults from her and her little minions. You are ugly! You are fat! You are broke! etc. These insults may get you down and make you feel insecure. Please remember that people are only threatened by someone they see as a threat, okay? You MUST be some sort of a bad chick if she is going through this much to make you feel less than. Don’t compare yourself to her. It doesn’t matter who is skinny, fat, pretty etc. You are your own type of beauty that can never be defined by words.

Lastly, if you actively see your new boo putting forth an effort of protecting you from her antics, stay with him! This is always a good thing so respect it if you notice it. Do not let a sour ex ruin a new relationship. Let her get mad. Let her stalk you. Let her watch your entire life. Stay cute, stay on fleek and stay strong. Give her something to really hate! She will eventually go away…. If not, file a police report! (kidding but not kidding)

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The trip to Denver

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Women are more than items. We are the personification of strength

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These Heels Weren’t Made for Me

By: Sherrilli Carter

Women go through so much to find the perfect man. We join a yoga class to get our bodies fit. We practice walking in heels that are higher than our student loans. We curl, twirl and flip our hair for hours just for it to be ruined during our “late night cap.” We wait to be swept off our feet, but we only get a brush of our shoulder when your old guy walks past you with his new fling….

He is just not that into you! Who was the genius that came up with this logic? Here is the common scenario of our romantic lives’ ladies: We meet a guy. He compliments your appearance. Bam! That is the first sneak attack! (I mean, don’t you butter your toast before eating it?) You smile as if he is the first man to ever look at you in life. He takes your number. You talk for a week or so. You go on a few dates. You build somewhat of a connection. Now, is the grand finale. The good old tussle and wrestle! (wink wink) Afterwards, you wake up and you open your eyes. You are smiling and feel like you are on cloud nine until the cloud is a pillow you are crying on a few days later.

After that good old tussle and wrestle, you realize that you never met his parents. You do not know his middle name. You do not know if he is married or has kids. You do not know anything but what HE told you. This is our first mistake ladies. We let the man take the lead and we follow wherever he goes, even in dating! Of course, the guy will tell you all the sweet, but he will bury the bitter. Think of it as poorly mixed lemonade. We are stuck with a tall glass of “Why is this the end results every time?”

Our whole lives we are expected to aspire to being married and having children. We are taught to be pretty and perfect. As soon as you can walk, our parents are buying us baby dolls. We even get toy kitchens and playhouses. Why? Society wants us to always value the man more than ourselves. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can already hear the “That’s not true!” It is true and it is obvious in the cartoons we loved growing up.

Why aren’t men given toys that aspire to marriage and family? They get their play cars and tools. They are learning how to drill and drive off as soon as they can talk. Catch my drift? Women fall in love and we are left to pick ourselves up. We cut our hair thinking that will cut off the pain. We drink wine and whine to our friends. We eat more because our guilt is eating us. Finally, the pain goes away and then we are back in the same boat several months later.

Ladies, please pick up your wine glasses and kick off those heels that you are tired of! Buy your own flowers when you want. Get your hair done to feel pretty. Get dolled up and treat yourself to a nice dinner. Let us start doing things that we look forward to being done for us. If we pamper and spoil ourselves, we will not look forward to a man doing it for us.“Marry” your own “merry.” Then, the tussle and wrestle will turn into a bended knee for the finishing move!!!

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High Heels, High Hopes