s1ckinv4si0n

[s1ckinv4si0n]

[s1ckinv4si0n]

[s1ckinv4si0n]

[s1ckinv4si0n]

[s1ckinv4si0n]

[s1ckinv4si0n]

Little things. You always mentioned them, how you loved that I reach for my glasses when I'm not wearing them, how I always grab you your favorite juice at lunch even though you didn't ask, how I maintained eye contact while you spoke even though I hated it.

Little things. I never understood them, but now that you're gone I find myself appreciating them more. Searching for you in them. Hoping to catch your reflection in my eyes when I look in the mirror, hoping to hear your voice when I look at the stars, hoping to feel your presence at the beach.

Hoping for you.

Little things. You always put your fruits on the left side on your plate, now I do too, you always played with your fingers, now I do too, the playlists you made for me, they are now my go to's, you always made little doodles on my notebook... now they're hung all over my wall.

I search for you in the little things.

⋆｡°✩♬ ♪

[s1ckinv4si0n]

The waves crash against the shore, the blue glistening waters shine with the light of the moon, the sky a beautiful shade of blue, deep and rich.

“The ocean’s gorgeous, isn’t it?”

I looked at the ocean, the sound, the smell, the feel, “yeah.”

“I want my soul to be set free in the ocean.”

“Why the ocean?”

“Just look at it! Beautiful, it sounds nice, it looks nice, its surroundings are beautiful, the sea animals, everything, Eli… everything.”

“Yeah… I guess.”

I like hearing him happy, but I don’t like him talking about death.

“What about you, Eli? Where do you want to go?”

My chest rises as I take a breath in, where would I go? I look around, “The moon, I suppose.”

“That’s a good one, the moon is beautiful, isn’t it?”

“It is,” I softly smile, “and it accompanies the sea, so… when I die, or whatever, I’ll be with you still…”

He looks at the ocean, he doesn’t like when I talk about death either, yet it always makes way.

“The moon is beautiful, you’d make a great moon, Eli.”

My face tightens as I chuckle, my hands run across the sand, “I didn’t say I was going to become the moon.”

“Still.” He says with a smile.

I reach for his hand, a warmth filling between us. We have each other, and everything’s okay.

“Your freckles could be the stars.”

I chuckle, “okay, you’re going too into it.” I playfully nudge his arm.

𓇼 ⋆｡˚ 𓆝⋆｡˚ 𓇼 ⋆｡° ✮✧˖°. 𓇼 ⋆｡˚ 𓆝⋆｡˚ 𓇼

The waters are disturbingly still, not a single movement, lifeless. The beach has lost its smell. The moon dimly lights the waters, hoping to, for a second, give it life.

“Chiho?…”

I ask softly, I know he won’t answer, but I still wait, hoping for a second to bring him life.

Unbearable silence continues and I feel a defeat in my chest. He’s gone. I’d known this from the second I got the call from his mom, but I still hope. I hope it’s another dare, I hope it’s a prank, I hope it’s a dream. He’s gone.

I breathe in, filling my lungs with pain and grief, guilt and shame. He’s gone. I ruggedly breathe out and in, quickly losing breath as tears shed, seeming to be the only water to move, “Chiho?…” I cry out. Please answer.

Each day I forget his voice, his smile, his laugh, his eyes, his love, more and more.

“Please…” I kick sand into the ocean, “please…”

The waters slowly splash back as if an answer. As if to say I’m here. Maybe I’m delusional, maybe I’m losing it, but I hope he made it. I know he made it.

So I walk closer and crouch down, staring at my reflection, staring at him.

“You made it…”

My tears drip into the ocean, my freckles against the water looks like a sky full of stars. I scoff, “I’m thinking like you now…”

I splash more sand into the ocean, “but maybe that’s a good thing… I don’t wanna lose you… I love you…”

My voice cracks, why couldn’t I just say that before?

[s1ckinv4si0n]

[s1ckinv4si0n]

Mermaid oc Airy

[s1ckinv4si0n]

Demon slayer coloring dump (you can see my recordings of coloring them on my tiktok

@arloschickennuggets)

[s1ckinv4si0n]

My oc Seven (σ´∀`)σ