samlotl08

[samlotl08]

NO KINGS

NO SLAVES

NO NATZIS

SILENCE IS COMPLIANCE

IMMIGRANTS MAKE AMERICA GREAT

FREEDOM TO THE PEOPLE

Yes this is an invitation for any MAGA members or apologists to get the hell off my page

[samlotl08]

*deep breath in*

GAYYYYYYY

UR BOTH GAY

( in all seriousness I watched the play and oh my god those boys are so in love. And maybe the actors too)

[samlotl08]

My question of the day

What the actual hell is my aesthetic?

What am I?

I mean obviously I’m me but I have no words to describe what I look like or wear bc somehow I dress

-gay

-Grunge

-music hoe

-art hoe

-that one kid with piercings (silver)

- light and or chaotic academia

- eh it’s cozy

- I’m fat and I’ve been body shamed

- I’m fat and that means I have curves so show em off

- wears a bunch of jewelry

-wears nothing but my nose and eyebrow jewelry

- black graphic tees

-big jeans

-I like blue. Blueeeeee

- I wear makeup but only randomly and I’m not good so it’s like basic

…WHAT AM I

[samlotl08]

HAHAHAH I LOVE IT

Thanks, Mom. Very encouraging.

[samlotl08]

Anyone else walk into pride month remembering that, without the sacrifice of hundreds of incredible people ( many who are/ where POC), we wouldn’t get to be here?

Like it’s terrifying right now, I’m scared out of my mind and I’m lucky to have a welcome community and enough money- and that’s not even considering the normal complexities of being a queer teen!

But if so many people died and fought and lost their lives- why would I ever back down?

I have a privilege to be here, to have a voice!

Is it terrifying? Yes! Am I scared out of my mind bc I’m worried I’ll never get to live the life I want? Yea!

But someone did this before. They made a path and they gave it to me to walk. So, even if I can’t be proud of me yet, goddamn it ima spend pride month being so fucking proud of them

[samlotl08]

AH I LOST THIS PICREW FOR SO LONG

I gotta hop on this trend too

( all credits to the artist ofc)

( guys I’m so bad with links- please go up on this to find the artist)

And favorite animal isss

Decided to hop on the Picrew bandwagon. Feel free to add yourself and your favorite animal :)

take a wild guess about my favorite animal guys

[samlotl08]

To everyone who follows my insta and doesn’t interact with it at all

* deep breath*

UNFOLLOW ME THEN

IT TAKES TWO CLICKS TO LIKE SOMETHING

ITS WEIRDER THAT UR NOT INTERACTING THEN IF U JUST DIDNT FOLLOW ME

Thank u that’s my ted talk

[samlotl08]

i love it when people ask me questions - it’s like oh! you care!

[samlotl08]

AHHHHH

FEM: AZIRAPHALE LOOKS LIKE I DO

WOHOOO

MY BODY CAN BE PRETTY

THANK U UNIVERSE

some fem aziraphale for my own health and safety and peace of mind

[samlotl08]

“She didn’t need to be saved. She needed to be found and appreciated for exactly who she was.”

— j. iron word

[samlotl08]

Old poem I wrote

‼️ mental health struggles‼️

I’ve never known how to answer the question-“ how do you want to die?”

Not because I don’t know, but because I do know

not from some fortune teller or prayer

Not from a medical condition

No, I’ll die from the hole in my soul

The large, bloody, infected, gash torn through my soul

Someday, it’s going to kill me

Maybe I’ll stop trying, just let myself fall off the bridge

Maybe I’ll give into my impulses

Maybe my heart will just stop, to tired to work itself any harder

I don’t know how, but I do know that hole will kill me

It almost has before

Sometimes it gets smaller, the people I love adding a couple of stitches when they can

Sometimes true joy comes through and the hole shrinks a bit

But its so big

It’s a cancer, grows from the loneliness I can’t shake, the feeling that I’ll always be the last choice, the part of my brain that knows I’ll only be missed for a little before lives move on and the world spins without me

I know how to stop it though

All id have to do is stop caring so much

Stop reading every room, stop feeling ever feeling

But if I stop, then what will happen?

I know the pain of not being seen, the third friend on the outside, the new kid, the “ fits in but is never invited”

And no one else should ever have to feel that way

If healing the hole means I won’t be able to help, even just a little, I can’t risk it

I’m ok with it, hole that will kill me

Even though I don’t want to die anymore

I enjoy life, I love my friends, my family, the little things

but the hole’s always been there

I’ll do my best to make it small

But I won’t save myself

Not if it means helping someone

Even if it means I’m trapped with this hole forever

if someone has suffer, let it be me

[samlotl08]

I love the idea of Bilbo returning to the Shire before Thorin recovered, setting his house and lands to rights, then locking himself away to grieve, only to have Thorin turn up on his doorstep half a year later.

But instead of the weepy, or possibly angry, reunion that I often see, my hc is that Bilbo would open his door, see Thorin standing there, literally laugh right in his face and then keel over backwards in a faint that it would take Thorin a long time to revive him from.

[samlotl08]

"Hobbits just aggressively make friends with everything and somehow that keeps saving the world" is my favorite take on lotr

[samlotl08]

— Franz Kafka (via letsbelonelytogetherr)

[samlotl08]

AMEN!

It's important to show that you care. Fuck being nonchalant. Text first, send multiple messages in a row. Tell them what they mean to you, be honest about how you feel. Tell your friends that you love them. Love is a gift that can be given away freely, by anyone and to anyone. Show that you care.

[samlotl08]

I wish someone could understand the complexity of me

Not in the “super smart super on top of it, have their own life all figured out, is absolutely perfect” way

But in the way where they get it!!

Get that I love my mother and hate what she’s done

that I miss my childhood but would never go back

that I am so proud of my family and so incredibly angry they gave me all this ####

Get that I have a lot of friends but I’ve never been the first choice

that I want to be a kid but can’t give up my responsibilities

that I’m good with change becuase i was forced to be

Get that I’m in many spaces but belong nowhere

that I know every body is beautiful and I can’t look at my body without feeling sick

that makeup is just a fun thing, and there’s no such thing as perfect skin, yet I can’t look at my own selfies for too long

Get that I have no way of making my own head shut up so I always think, somewhere back there, that everyone I love just talks to me out of pity

See that, in a way I can never really explain, I can see things others can’t. See the crinkle of someone eye, or a change in a voice and can guess what it means

Understand that I will give all the love I can, because I would rather me have less then someone I care for run out

god I wish someone could SEE IT

[samlotl08]

I lowkey feel like no one is ever able to understand me, yet I try to understand everyone. Kinda sucks