sebbybooks

[sebbybooks]

My Sister’s Neighbor

Sebastian Stan x Fanfiction

Part 4

The soft click of the front door unlocking shattered the silence like a loaded gunshot in the stillness of the night. My heart slammed against my ribs, pounding so loud I was sure Sebastian could hear it from wherever he stood.

The door eased open, just enough for a shadow to slip inside, and then closed behind him with a quiet finality that left no room for doubt that he was here.

The faint scrape of his footsteps on the floor sent a shiver spiraling down my spine not from cold, but from a heat that curled low and dangerous in my stomach.

Sebastian stepped fully into the living room where my feet were rooted in the floor. The dark outline of his body framed by the dim lighting. His eyes found mine instantly, sharp and hungry, like he’d been watching me longer than I realized. The space between us shrank without a word spoken, charged and taut like a wire ready to snap.

I swallowed hard, my breath catching. The scent of him was leather and rain. Earthy, like a storm just waiting to break. My pulse thudded in my ears as he moved closer, deliberate and slow, like a predator savoring a long awaited moment.

His fingers brushed lightly over my jaw, tracing the line with a feathered touch that left a trail of heat burning beneath my skin. The ache between my legs tightened, a desperate pull I couldn’t deny, even as every rational thought screamed for me to pull away.

I should��ve been ashamed. But shame had long since exited the room.

TWO DAYS EARLIER

I didn’t want to go over there, but my cat Angus was gone again, and I already knew where I’d find him. The embarrassment that I felt still clung fresh to my skin. My sister and her big mouth should be studied the way information just flows freely out of it.

After yesterday’s confrontation, instead of dissolving into thin air like I wanted to, I just took Angus and locked myself away in the guest room, ruminating over why I even came here in the first place. I like to pretend my sister was just trying to keep things normal, but deep down, I’ve always had an inkling that her true feelings mirrored everyone else’s. That last year when I had a complete nervous breakdown my mind, in the midst of its own chaos, somehow conjured up a stalker.

Sebastian didn’t look up right away when I appeared. He was hunched over a workbench, sleeves shoved to his elbows, grease smudged across the lean curve of his forearm. The muscles in his back flexed under a worn gray t-shirt, clinging to him in places from the heat. There was something hypnotic about the way he moved focused, methodical, like he was pouring every unspoken thing into the rhythm of his hands

I hovered in the driveway, holding my breath until I realized I must look like a total fucking creep for silently staring.

“He’s wandered off again,” I said, announcing my presence, nodding toward the garage door. “The location on his Apple tag on his collar shows that he’s here somewhere.”

Sebastian straightened, turning slowly. His eyes dragged over me, unreadable.

“He is sleeping on the porch,” he said. “Didn’t seem in a hurry to leave.”

I nodded. “We are still trying to form a bond.”

“Are we still talking about the cat?” Sebastian’s gaze still lingering on mine.

Clearing my throat, I add, “I’m sorry for the way I acted yesterday,“ You know what they say no good deed goes unpunished.” I say as I laugh awkwardly.

Sebastian didn’t respond right away. He walked over to the edge of the garage and leaned against the frame, eyes squinting from the fading sunlight, as he methodically wiped grime from his hands with a rag.

“Look I don’t like being accused of things I didn’t do,” he said flatly.

I shifted, guilt curdling in my stomach. “That’s fair. Accusing someone of cat napping is a serious offense in some states.” I said jokingly.

“Heaven forbid you make a citizens arrest.” He says voice dry as dust.

“Don’t tempt me,” I shot back hugging my arms tighter around my ribs. “I could’ve shown up with handcuffs.”

That got a full second of silence. His eyes dipped down, slowly, and then flicked back up like he was daring me to keep going.

“Again I am sorry for causing a scene yesterday.”

His head tilted slightly, arms folding across his chest. “Why was I your prime suspect Detective…?”

“Montgomery.” Filling in the blank for my last name. He raised his brow in suspicion as if my last name was full of shit.

I met his gaze and tried not to squirm. “Because Angus doesn’t just wander. He’s picky. He hates strangers. And yet somehow, the one time he went missing, he turned up to your place friendly as can be.”

Sebastian smirked, eyebrow twitching. “So, that somehow makes me the neighborhood cat burglar now?”

“Not a burglar just under scrutiny. Until I get proof otherwise.”

He chuckled darkly. “Careful, Detective Montgomery. Accusing the wrong guy can easily backfire.”

I felt a knot lodge itself in the center of my throat when I tried to swallow. I couldn’t tell if he was joking or actually being serious. Yesterday, when Dakota finally came back home nothing could pry the gigantic grin off of her face. She couldn’t hide even when I tried my hardest to avoid her when I didn’t leave the room.

Instead of acknowledging the fact she dropped a very humiliating grenade about me in front a complete stranger. She glossed over that and just went on and on about her charming neighbor like he was some hometown hero from a made for tv romance.

Dakota talked with him what felt like all night. If only I could have turned my ears off when she told me tales of Sebastian’s charitable nature within the community. Every sentence had his name in it. Sebastian said this. Sebastian did that. Sebastian feeds stray animals like he’s some kind of modern day Snow White in black boots. My ears were finally set ablaze when she told me she had invited him over for a dinner date. They spoke for two seconds now he was about to be in her house.

He said yes.

Of course he said yes.

I didn’t say a word. And like the adult that I am after pouting for an extended period time I knew I had to make my way back over there to say sorry.

“Was that your version of an apology?” he asked.

I exhaled. “That depends. Is this your version of forgiveness?”

He stepped closer not enough to cross a line, but enough to make it blur. “Forgiveness isn’t really my strong suit.”

“Yeah?” I tilted my chin. “What is?”

He grinned slowly. “Patience.”

Like she was waiting for her cue, Dakota’s voice cut through the tension behind me, again. I found it really funny that the three of us kept meeting like this.

Sebastian took a measured step back, the invisible thread between us tugging painfully as it stretched thin.

“Sebastian?” Dakota’s voice was syrupy sweet the kind she used when she thought she was being cute. “I didn’t think you were still out here.”

I could practically feel her smile before I turned around.

“I’m just about set for dinner. We’re still on right?” She asked.

“Wouldn’t miss it.” Sebastian says smoothly. “Just gave your car a quick once over. You said it was making that weird sound?”

I blinked. Her car?

My gaze shifted behind him and sure enough, the hood of Dakota’s car was popped open, tools scattered like an afterthought. How had I missed that?

I was utterly confused because she never mentioned her car having any problems. Her car hadn’t made a single sound when she pulled in earlier. Not a rattle. Not a cough. Nothing.

Dakota gave a little laugh, like it confirmed something for her. “Great. Demi what time does your movie start?

“What?” I blurted out genuinely confused. Dakota stared at me wide eyed with a smile that could scare crows. I was unsure of what movie she was talking about, until it dawned on after a few short beats that she was trying to say I need to make myself scarce.

Before I could respond Sebastian cut me off. “You’re not coming?”

Both Dakota and I froze. Dakota’s smile faltered, and I felt my heart skip.I glanced at Sebastian, searching his eyes for a hint of jest.

Dakota looked between us again, her smile faltering for a fraction of a second, but she pushed past it with a breathy chuckle. “Okay, weird tension. Cool. Love that.”

“Right I..I don’t want to miss my showing.”

Stumbling on my words.

“Which movie is it?” Sebastian asked.

“Demetria is into thrillers nothing can come between her love for that gory type of stuff. ” Dakota forces out an uncanny laugh. My skin starts to itch as I feel in real time my skin prickle with hives the more anxious I become. That cat has caused me more anxiety in the past twenty-fours hours than anything ever has, and that’s saying a lot.

I shifted on my feet, desperate to appear calm, but inside I was a tangled mess of nerves and confusion. His gaze flicked from me to Dakota, then back, a faint smirk playing on his lips like he was enjoying some private joke at my expense. Or maybe testing my limits.

“Well,” I said, voice a little steadier but still edged with hesitation, “I appreciate the invite, but I already have my ticket.”

Sebastian’s eyes didn’t waver. “I wasn’t asking if you could,” he said,“I’m just hoping you’ll want to.”

This felt like purgatory. By the way my sister glared at me she was likely thinking of a multitude of ways to send me there if I say yes.

Rocking back on my heels. “I’m sort of a cinephile so I can’t.” What I said wasn’t actually a lie. Dakota was right I did indeed love a good horror film maybe that was my problem.

Sebastian’s lips parted slightly, like he might say something else but he didn’t. He just watched me, eyes unreadable, like he already knew I was lying. That he could see straight through the brittle excuse I’d just offered and was too gracious to call me out for it.

“I’m going to get Angus now.” I say quickly as I try to move past them, but careful not to startle the sleeping cat on the steps of his porch. I bent down and grabbed him in one swift motion, feeling slightly victorious that he let me. And at the same time upset that he was sneaking out so much.

“Enjoy your evening you two.” I didn’t wait for a response. I clutched Angus to my chest like a shield and mumbled something about needing to shower and to actually look at showtimes for a real movie as I headed inside.

When I arrived the theater was mostly empty when I took my seat. Just a few scattered strangers in the dark, the kind of people who come alone to slasher films on weeknights. My kind of people. To my surprise there was actually a horror movie playing.

The smell of fake butter and stale air was oddly comforting. I let the glow of the screen wash over me and for one hundred and twenty minutes. I was going to pretend my life wasn’t a slow burning nightmare itself.

Halfway through the second act someone had taken the seat directly behind me. I didn’t hear them approach.

I told myself it was nothing. Just another latecomer.

My heart leapt into my throat.

I didn’t move. I didn’t turn around. I just sat there, frozen, trying to focus on the movie while my pulse screamed through my ears.

And then… a whisper.

“You really shouldn’t lie, Detective Montgomery.”

I turned around, heart in my mouth.

The seat was completely empty.

[sebbybooks]

My Sister’s Neighbor

Sebastian Stan Fanfiction

Part 3

I can only assume that everyone on this street was sleeping while Sebastian and I were the only ones awake. From my limiting view behind the window I look around and wondered if anyone else could see him watching me.

I should be terrified. The longer I sat with that feeling it started to feel like I was asking myself if I truly was. In hindsight I was alone with him. No one knew what was happening or was about to transpire in the middle of the night on their quiet little street. Not even my sister who was sound asleep in Sebastian’s home.

I wondered if that same thought crossed his mind as well. I pretended to look over my shoulder as if someone else was there. To give the illusion that I wasn’t actually by myself. He stared back at me undeterred like he knew my bluff, because by now he knew the line between us had already been crossed. Sighing a shaking breath I knew what I needed to do, an yet every logical thought paralyzed me as opposed to offering my mind a sense of sanctuary. Instead, I floated in a puddle of confusion. Almost like I chose this option on purpose. Like I wanted to be hunted. Without hesitation or even a single thought as to why I even did what I did. I slid the curtains away so that I could finally see him in clear view.

Faint orange lights glowed down the street and yet Sebastian still looked like a dark shadow. I stared into the darkness nearly straining my vision trying to get a good look at him. This man was twisted.

There’s simply no denying that anymore, but at this point what does that make me? Overflowing with a different kind of warmth that borders the thin line of arousal. I realized Sebastian was pushing me to insanity at this point if he was making me feel things for him. However, nothing was going to happen I thought to myself. He wasn’t going to step away from his perfect illusion especially since Dakota was so close. I was good, I was fine.

With that knowledge in mind I reacted rather stupidly by thinking between my legs instead of my head. It felt like an outer body experience one that I had no ability to tame. Moving the palm of my hand I brushed across my shoulders to push down the straps of my thin tank top. It slid down stopping at the waistband above my shorts. I let him drink the sight of me in for just a second. It was a strange erotic pleasure I felt knowing he caught a glimpse of me. Lifting up on my toes, I lifted my arm to draw back the curtains. Just as I closed it completely I peeked around it one last time to see if he was still there.

Of course he was gone.

My body froze. I stared at the spot he stood seconds ago. I tried to calm my nerves by telling myself he went back inside his house. Sebastian couldn’t have gone far that quick. I looked out the window for signs that he was back in his home. There were none that I could see, yet I still couldn’t relax. It dawned on me that he did possess a spare key to this house all thanks to my love crushed sister.

THREE DAYS EARLIER

“Why the hell do you have my cat?” The sight of Angus threw me in a tailspin that I couldn’t wrap my head around. Without further delay I quickly bent down and scooped him up before he could get away again. Though, watching as he cozied up to Sebastian I didn’t think the old boy dreamt of ever leaving him.

“I didn’t know that was your cat.” Sebastian says, lifting his brow curiously.

“Were you just not going to return him to his rightful owner?” I accuse.

Sebastian looks back at me with a frustrated glare, swallowing down a groan. “My only crime is that I gave him cat food and water when he wandered to my door.”

“Oh, so it didn’t dawn on you that he belonged to me when you clearly saw me with a cat carrier yesterday?” I say with a calmness to my tone, but it was laced with anger.

“I have to admit I am enjoying how much you think you left an impression on me from the ten seconds I caught a glance at you.” He looks at me like I am the delusional person here. An for a millisecond a cold splash of reality hit me right in the face. What if I was doing it again? Overlapping what was real and what wasn’t. I mean I did tell myself I heard him call my name yesterday. Which honestly could have been my mind playing tricks on me. Now I am accusing him of cat napping Angus. For all I know he actually could have wandered out of the house. I mean it isn’t like I’m his favorite person.

I was pulled from my own thought when Angus’s tailed swatted against my arm. Usually that was his way of urging me to put him down.

“Well…. ok.” I say as I turn to walk away.

“I think the words you are looking for are I’m sorry.” The low cadence in his voice falls across my ears.

“For what exactly?” I scoffed.

He fixates on something behind me before dragging his gaze back to me. I look up at him staring into his eyes dumb founded.

He folded his arms and made a mock expression as if he were thinking about something. “Let’s see, how about you charging over here onto my property ready to raise hell for no damn reason all for a cat you aren’t properly watching.”

Sensible words were lost on me, because I was too stunned by this buzzcut, too tight t-shirt wearing asshole before me. I kept my expression calm and I nodded my head suggesting that he wasn’t wrong.

“You’re right I should say fuck you.” I smile up at him.

“Demetria!” I hear my sister’s voice booming behind from behind me. I turn to see my sister’s face contorted with embarrassment and shock as she speed walks across the street. When she finally reaches where the two of us stands Dakota looks over to Sebastian apologetically and glares at me like a errant child and not an adult. Automatically assuming I am the one in the wrong here. And so what if I am? She’s my sister and she’s suppose to have my back.

“Is everything alright?” My sister asks with a giant fake smile plastered across her face. Sebastian flicks his gaze to me and I bore my eyes into his.

“I have food here for strays.” He exhales.

I let out a laugh. “Of course you do.”

Sebastian’s gaze soften and the corner of his eyes crinkle. Shaking his head slowing, the corner of his mouth upturn into a small smile as he turns away on his heels. Walking further into his garage I stand behind watching in curiosity. Within seconds Sebastian returns carrying two clear totes before dropping it to the ground. My eye’s immediately roam over to what’s in them. I roll my eyes to the point it hurts. I glance up at Sebastian and he’s looking at me like he wants to say I told you so.

Sure enough there was variations of food for cats and dogs, alongside rolled up blankets, disposable food bowls, and a handful of nylon collars.

“If he was still here when I got back I was going to check to see if he was chipped or not.” Sebastian says.

Dakota clutches her heart with both of her hands. “That is so sweet of you.” Her voice no louder than a whisper.

“It nothing. I run a nonprofit animal rescue sanctuary. I keep some stuff with here with me just in case I come across any strays in the area. This little guy was most likely attracted to the scent.”

“Who knew I lived across the street from Clark Kent.” Dakota cooed, it took everything in me to not crinkle my nose in disgust.

I stare back at her blankly unsure of what the hell was actual happening.

Bending down to access him, Dakota timidly rubs his paw between her fingers.

I look up at Sebastian. He was already watching me. Attempting to bite back a smirk, he turns himself away from me to face Dakota. “ I was just telling his owner Demi I’d never turn away from a pet in need.” The way he said my name sent moths instead of butterflies to my stomach.

“Really? Cause that’s not what I heard.” Dakota directing that towards me.

“I am going to walk away now.” I leave the two of them feeling weird. It wasn’t the weirdness you feel when you know you’re being left out or like you’ve been walking around with a stain on your pants that no one told you about. It was the feeling like something was wrong kind of weird. Not even barely out of earshot I could hear Dakota say to him. “I guess it’s still fresh for her, I mean its almost been a year since she lied about being stalked.”

[sebbybooks]

My Sister’s Neighbor  

Part Two

Tagged💌

@bambamwolf87

Sebastian Stan Fanfiction  

 

 

 The shock that rolled through my body was powerful enough to give me a heart attack. It was as though I was in the presence of a ghost, except the figure that stood opposite of me was real. I knew he was coming. I sensed it all afternoon, that was probably why I couldn’t sleep yet another night. There also was the fact that he told me he would be here. Waiting for me.  

I should have ran hours ago. Gotten out of town so far away that he wouldn’t even know where to begin to look. He wouldn’t dare ask my sister about my whereabouts that would only unveil his true guise.  

You would think the night sky would be painted in a sheet of total darkness at this hour. There was a hint of grey light that still hid behind the storm clouds that hovered above. My breath was starting to fog up the damp windows as the two of us made perfect eye contact.

He was a few feet away and I had been wondering how long he stood standing across the street watching. Waiting to make himself known to me. He was drenched from the downpour of rain that happened not too long ago, clearly unfazed by it. His gaze never faltering with mine. He wore a indecipherable look on his face, and that is when all the oxygen left from my lungs.  

We stood like that for I don’t know how long really. Afraid to take a quick glance down at my phone, within an instant he could be elsewhere. My arms and legs were adorned with goosebumps, the cold air from the window kissing my bare skin. If I didn’t know I had someone watching me I sure as hell gave him a show with my sleepwear. I quickly shake away the crazy thought that maybe for a split second I did it on purpose.  

 

THREE DAYS EARLIER 

 

I sat on the edge of the already made bed with my back straight as I stared into nothing. Still massaging a very sore finger. The only bright side was that it didn’t turn purple or swell up.  I replayed those sixty seconds in my head, studying every little detail from our short interaction. I couldn’t tell Dakota what happened. The conversation was almost predictable so I avoided it completely.

Dakota would think that my progress was backtracking and that things were not getting better for me. That it was all in my head like last time. Taking a deep breath. I know this isn’t like before, because I know what I heard. He said my name as clear as day.  

 Walking downstairs I follow the scent of burning cinnamon rolls leading me into the kitchen. Around the wall I see Dakota moving in all sorts of directions trying to tame whatever chaos she unleashed in there. For a second I watch quietly blending in with the wall.

When we were younger Dakota was always the one creating the best meals. She was the chef in the family and even at a young age she came alive when she stood before different ingredients. Dakota made masterpieces. Looking around her kitchen now it was scattered with opened cardboard boxes, dirty dishes, and opened food containers, she was making nothing but a mess.  

 “I tried to make them from scratch, but I think I had the oven up too high. Now my eggs are sticking to the pan and the bacon is turning black after only one minute.” She rushes out finally noticing my presence.  

 I step over to her turning everything off on the oven. “Don’t tell me you lost your Midas touch?” I tease, seeing several discarded pieces of charred bacon in the trash can. 

 Huffing, as she pops a coffee pod in her keurig. “Work has stolen my sparkle.” She sucks in her bottom lip. With my sister I can’t tell if she was being just melodramatic or actually serious.  

 Trying to think of something quick to say, yet also comforting. My eyes dart across the room scanning the area for Angus. That cat likes to roam, but he hates new places. “Kota,” I call out her childhood nickname.  

 She pins me with a halfhearted stare waiting for me to continue on. “You know one thing your job did give you?”  

 “What’s that?” Her brown eyes widening as she listens to me.  

 I furrow my brows. “Credit cards to buy more groceries to replace the ones you fucked up.” I hold both hands up to my mouth as if that would pinch my lips from forming into a wide grin. I am pretty sure I saw her eye twitch. 

 She busies herself with her coffee, shaking her head. “You’re such a little sister.”  

 “You’re welcome.” I reply back, knowing that was the opposite of a compliment. It was quick but I did see her smile.  

“Since I messed up the food lets just go out for breakfast.” Dakota suggest eyeing me over her mug of coffee. I can smell how sweet I bet it taste. A scowl forms on my face cringing at the thought of how sugary it must be.  

 “Or how about I clean this mess up and you can go to the store and we can make something together? Like old times.” I suggest earnestly.

Even though I meant what I said, I wanted an excuse to linger behind at the house by myself. I have every intention on confronting that guy. Bad idea be dammed I was getting to the bottom of it. I had zero to no patience to beat around the bush.  

 Using the bottom of her shirt to clean her eye glasses before putting them on. “If memory serves me correctly Demi, you always watched me cook.”   

I shrug. “I cracked an egg or two.”  

She snorts. “Ok.”  

 “Have you seen Angus?” The question rolls off my tongue. By now he would have found me mad or not. He was like Garfield, the boy liked to eat. 

 “No.” She drawls out her word almost suspicious as I was. “I tried bonding with Satan’s cutie last night and I thought he would bite my chin off!” Dakota recalls on the memory with horror washing over her face.  

 “He has his moments.” I just say. 

 Grabbing her keys off the counter top I take it as the beginning of her exit. “Wait!” I exclaim a little too much, taking her by surprise.  

 “Umm,” I pause collecting my thoughts. “That guy across the street have you spoken to him. . . ever?”  

 She looks at me for a moment like she is trying to read my thoughts before I could spit them out. At first she looks at me confusingly, then her face goes blank, before a shocked expression covers her face. 

 A gasp leaves her mouth. “You totally had a sex dream about him!”  

 I couldn't choke out the word no fast enough. “He came in your dreams last night!” Dakota’s mouth forming an O shape.  

 “I did not dream about him.” I say confidently. That is only because I don’t think I dreamt at all. I barely got any sleep, and I woke up ever so often feeling like I was about to have a panic attack. 

 “Well he came in mine, or rather it was me that came to him.” Dakota pauses to think. 

 I blink at her, not needing to know those personal details. “So not even in passing you’ve never talked? Maybe just for like a few seconds?”  

 She rolls her eyes before looking back at me. “No I have unfortunately never talked to Sebastian.” 

 Sebastian. Almost instantly my brain locks in his name in and file it way. While also scanning to see if I heard anyone mention that name to me. “Then how do you know his name?” I question. 

 

“I heard Josh and Keila from next door out one morning going on and on about how great of a guy Sebastian was. Apparently he’s fixed something in their car that would have costed them an arm and a leg. Sebastian from the sound of it did it for free and he helped that guy a few houses down from me as well.” She explains.  

“He is truly a sexy angel.” Dakota adds, hiking her purse higher up her arm.

Ignoring that last part I continued on. “Do you think your neighbors may have mentioned anything about you to him?” I say trying to keep my voice calm.  

 A hint of worry shadows her face once more. She quickly plays it off by not giving in to it. At least that is what I assume. “I barely talk to them either except a simple hello and goodbye. What’s with all the questions anyway?”  

 I knew I couldn’t brush it off by saying it was from a mere sense of curiosity. I had to give her a convincing answer. “I don’t know call me a sucker for romance, but I think you should talk to him.” I lie, with a smile plastered on my face.  

“Really?” She grins back. Seeing the look on her face I couldn’t keep pretending, so I just quickly nodded my head.  

 “Ok wing woman we need to think of something when I come back from the store!” She says excitably as she downs the last bit of her coffee.  

I raise my arm and hold up a thumbs up.  

 “Clean my kitchen!” Dakota calls out from over her shoulder.  

   

That was all I could do. I cleaned it from top to bottom and even put away some of her stuff she kept away in boxes. I didn’t stop there, deep in thought over Sebastian I began to clean downstairs. Even the way his name sounded in my head made me tremble. I constantly kept finding excuses to go outside to see if he was home yet.  

The store Dakota went too must have been in Norway. She had been gone for about an hour and I was starving. I was on the verge of making myself a peanut butter jelly sandwich when I caught sight of his car pulling in his driveway. 

 I heard the sounds of his garage door loudly opening up. I nearly tripped over my feet racing to the front door. Power walking across the lawn, into the street, then finally behind his car.

An just like that quickly slipping away I could actually feel my bravery shrink. His garage door rolled all the way up, but he didn’t drive forward. It took him a moment to get out of the car. I know he saw me standing behind his car, because he turned the engine off. Sucking in some air I took a deep breath just waiting.  

 Finally opening up his door, stepping out in one fluid motion I instinctively took a few paces back. My stomach twist in a tight knot, and I just about nearly shitted a brick. For a split second I wondered if my therapist would be mortified or proud at my bold attempt at confronting my doubts. 

“Can I help you with something?” Sebastian looks back at me cautiously. 

I narrow my eyes at him almost to say cut the bullshit. I open my mouth to say something as confident as that, but words fail me. My voice fades suddenly unsure with what to say.

 Looking at me like I was fragile and confused about my whereabouts he looks down at me like I would blow away in the wind. “Hey how’s your hand?” I study him for a brief second looking in utter fascination at how he easily fakes a look of genuine concern. His blue eyes were like sirens. An that is when I snapped out of my haze. 

 “How do you know my name?” I blurt out hurriedly. His brow tugs together looking at me like I have lost my sanity.  

 “You said my name yesterday.” I remind him, knowing he can’t deny that.” 

 Letting out a dry laugh. His mouth curving upward as if he was cringing. “No I didn’t.” He states calmly. 

 “You called me Demi. My name is Demi.” Holding a hand to my chest as if to prove it.“Yet I have never seen you or talked to you a day in my life.”  

 Licking his lips, his chest rises and falls. Closing his car door without turning around to do it. Sebastian just looks at me with a disappointed stare. “This is not awkward at all.” He mutters.  

 I just stand there feeling the hot concrete burn the sole of my feet, finally realizing I am not wearing any shoes. Reading my thoughts apparently, he glances down at my bare feet as well.  

 

“The shade polish is Butler Please.” I spit out, drawing his attention away from my damn toes. A beat of silence passes us.  

 “I’m sorry but I have no clue what is going on here.” A dumbfounded expression creases his face.

 I deadpan. “Clearly you know my sister Sebastian.” I don’t realize my blunder till it slips out of my mouth. 

 He tilts his head then crosses his arms across his chest. Probably flexing every muscle in them. I tell myself to focus on his face, despite that it is also making me feel some type of way.  

  “Should I be worried since apparently you know my name?” He sarcastically questions. “And am I suppose to know who your sister is?” 

 “She lives right in front of you.” I say refusing to let this thing die.  

 He looks me up and down,“I am still trying to figure out why does that need to matter to me?" Sebastian answers back like he is bored with this conversation.

Right when I was convinced I just made a complete ass out of myself and was actually coming to terms with the fact that perhaps I made it up in my head. Scared I was about to make a repeat of last time and ruin my fresh start I begin to hear constant meowing.

The sounds of a cat were drawing near. Creeping out of Sebastian's garage walks Angus. He slowly struts his long body over to Sebastian, rubbing himself against his jeans while unleashing the loudest purrs. I look down in astonishment, because I have only seen that cat do that to people he was familiar with.

[sebbybooks]

My Sister’s Neighbor 

 

Sebastian Stan Fanfiction

I couldn’t get a clear answer of what I should do. The voices in my brain were silent, and the ones that resided in the pit of my stomach would not stop screaming different things at me. A part of myself was too stunned from fear, but honestly could I really describe it as that? It was paralyzing sure, but the strange sensation of adrenaline made my senses feel alive.

 I stood behind the tall dark green pair of curtains in my sister’s living room as if to hide myself from what lurks beyond the window. I had lost track of  time, by now I was sure it was somewhere between midnight or 2 AM. I should be sleeping cuddled up next to my ten year old tabby while computerized sounds of the ocean play in the background.  Instead, I remained motionless while gripping my phone tightly in both of my hands. I clutched on to it for dear life in case of emergency. Though frankly I was even too much of a chicken shit to call for help. It wasn’t  like there was an immediate threat. Well at least not yet.  

 

“Just peek behind the curtain Demi!” I timidly say to myself aloud.

My heart was beating slow, yet it slammed into my chest with every beat. A sigh escapes me.

Within seconds I pull it back just enough so that at least my right eye can see if he was still there. Tingles creep up the back of my leg ,tickling my skin like crazed ants when I see that he is. 

  

FOUR DAYS EARLIER 

 

There was something in the air today, I could feel it. Whatever it was I just know it made me feel blissfully amazing. It filled me with the notion that things were going to be different, and that my fresh start was now. 

The two day drive to my big sister Dakota’s house was tougher than I thought it would be, despite that feel good mood that I was in. I barely touched any food due to the anxious thought that road food would get me sick. Conveniently  my blader would scream bloody murder only when I was furthest from the safer looking rest stops. I would have to pull over in the middle of bumbfuck nowhere. An traveling with an old cat that I had been fostering for the past month that trusted me only on his good days definitely tested my patience.

None of that mattered right now anymore, especially the second I turn into my sister’s driveway and see her outside side jumping for joy at my arrival.  I couldn't put the car in park fast enough and grab ahold of the cat carrier to get to her. 

 Her face was a spitting image of mine only  eight years older. I threw myself into her outstretched arms and just felt my shoulders sag with relief. It was the most peaceful feeling. 

 

“I missed you.” I say into her shoulder, though my voice sounds garbled from pressing my face so close into her. 

 

Dakota hugs me a little tighter. “Missed you more.” Our words parroted each others, but I knew hers carried more weight than mine.

My eyes threatened to release the pools of tears I was praying didn’t fall. I forced a swallow just so I could lubricate my dry throat. Despite the normalcy she acted with while planning the trip out to come see her while she renovated parts of her home and desperately needed my help. Deep down I knew it was just for her to keep an eye on me. It wasn’t like I ever needed it in the first place I was a grown woman with my own life , with my own home.

I was fine now.

Breaking us from our extended embrace Angus’s soft meow grew into staccato cries. He was already in a love hate relationship with me and I kind of needed to be on his good side, so I let go of Dakota. 

 “You actually got a cat.” She muses as she watches me lift Angus’s carrier off the ground.  

 “Technically no, I’m fostering him.” I say as I peek into the front to make sure he was fine.  

 “You hate cats.” Dakota says matter of factly as she crosses her arms. I pull my gaze up to hers.

“Hate is a heavy word and Angus is slowly becoming my best friend. Isn’t that right buddy?” I stick my hand in front of his face and he hisses. Apparently I landed on his bad side and that warrants a fit of laughter from my sister. 

“Dana is not to going to believe me when I tell her you are a cat mom now.” She says shaking her head. Our other sister was the cat lover in the group. “OOh I need I to snap of picture of this.” Dakota exclaims.

Pulling out her phone I hold up Angus to my face still in his carrier and I can already bet he is looking like he wants to kill us both. Before she could even hold the phone straight she is easily distracted by something behind me.  

 I turn around to follow her gaze when she stops me, putting a firm hand on my shoulder to keep me still. The confused looked on my face easily gets her to talk. Slowly a grin forms on her face and I know that look too well. 

“My hotter than hell  neighbor is running  passing us right now. ” Dakota prims herself as if anything on her needs fixing, she was stunning in any condition. She blows out a deep breath. “Men that look  like that clearly was designed by a woman. He’s the type that fucks good, yet will immediately cuddle the shit out of you.”

On instinct I try to turn around to steal a glance from such chaotic description , but she prevents me once more.

“Don’t actually look!”She protest, even though I see her still checking him out over my shoulder.

“You never mentioned a hot as fuck neighbor before.” I quirk a brow. 

“That’s because I have been working up the nerve to get him to make a move.”  

A laugh bubbles out of me. “You are trying to get him to chase you?” 

 Quickly interjecting “Baby sis never let a guy think you wanted him first. They like a chase and if he thinks it is a easy hunt they immediately back off.” Dakota professes her unofficial expertise advice.  I just nod my head pressing my lips tightly together trying not to laugh again.  

 “Which juvenile magazine did you read that in? Tiger Beat or J14?” I tease.  

 “Har Har .” She playfully swats my arm. “Come on lets bring your stuff in.” Dakota reaches for Angus and I can almost bet she won't be helping with the rest of my stuff.  

I walk over to my car with actual pep in my step. Who knew I still could even feel that. As I open up the trunk of my car in the distance running back into his driveway I happen to see Dakota’s neighbor at the end of his driveway. Presumably sifting through his mail as one does by their mailbox.

I mean I get it he was unreal. From my view I could only see his back and it was carved into a maze.  

 I slam my trunk door setting my duffel bag next to my suitcase on the ground  Not paying attention I managed to clip my finger. Thankfully it didn’t close all the way. I am even more grateful that I didn’t lose a finger! I was probably shouting every expletive under the sun. I squeezed my finger tightly trying to make the throbbing pain go numb.  

 “You alright over there?” I hear from a distance. My eyes were shut and I knew it was not my sister because it came from a raspy voice of a man. I opened my watery eyes easing out from around my car to see it was the guy my sister basically wanted to dry hump on command.  

 I stared back at him like Angus chewed my tongue off. I snort at the cheesy joke I made in my head. I wasn’t one to stare or sexualize one’s appearance. However, he was my shameful exception. The only thing he didn’t have on display was tucked in his shorts. The top half of him was coated with sweat or  water, all I know was that the feigning light from the sunset was making him glisten. I would never tell Dakota, but shit she was right. He was molded in the image from a horny creator.  

 Snapping into reality, because at this point I was just unabashedly gawking at him. I realize I never answered his question. 

 “Not at the moment, but I will be. So yes.” I call back. What the hell kind of response is that? He stares back at me like he was unsure of how to respond.  

 His eyebrows furrow together, his face not amused by my cuteness at all. He didn’t even bother to fake a smile to get out of a awkward encounter.

I continued to hold onto my wounded finger noticing that he started to curve his body away to leave not before saying, “ Try to be more careful Demi.” 

[sebbybooks]

War of Hearts

Sebastian Stan x Fanfiction

"For some reason, the two of us arguing was

like some sick form of foreplay."

c.l

"It is settled. . . I can't ever leave my house again in the daytime!" I say feeling winded as though I've run a marathon without stopping for any sort of break. I pulled my fingers from out between the blinds as I quickly stepped away from the window. Fearing that he would spot me any second if I stood there any longer. I felt a growing sense of dread rise in the pit of my stomach. It started to tangle itself into all sorts of knots while the sense of realization began to kick in. That paired with a chaotic feeling of rage and excitement flowed through my veins causing a web of mixed emotions as I made my way out of the sunroom. I must have manifested him without even knowing what I was even doing. Or maybe the universe was playing some cosmic cruel prank on me? A tiny part of me just accepted the fact that I was simply destined to have unconventional awkward moments for the rest of my adult life.

"I mean what are the odds Leona?" Sonny called out in amazement from inside of the sunroom as she continued to gaze at the horror scene continue to play out while the movers carried more boxes into the house next door.

"Next to fucking impossible!" My voice rose in a nervous pitch. I wandered over to my sofa and purposely fell face forward on to it. Perhaps if I laid there long enough it would swallow me into it? I would have take any given option offered to me at this point if it meant I wouldn't have to come face to face with Sebastian. It wasn't suppose to happen like this or at all for that matter. It's been two months since I've last spoken to him and after our last conversation I knew that was the final nail in the coffin. I was certain that our paths were never going to cross again. If they did that meant I had made a wrong turn somewhere and ended up in hell.

"Don't you think you are being a tad bit dramatic babe?" I could hear it in the cadence of my best friend's voice that she didn't fully understand the severity of my problem. Boredom on top of being drunk off of wine is a powerful combination that will most likely definitely drag you down a dark and twisted rabbit hole. Signing up for a dating app for example and talking to guys I had zero intention of talking to after a twenty four hour period. But, atlas one had to slip through the cracks and make me fall completely apart over him. I turned my head to face Sonny, "He hates me and to be quite honest the feeling is mutual!"

Clearly glossing over what I had just said to her she continued on, "Look on the bright side at least he wasn't a catfish!"

I released a guttural sound into the pillow. "Terrific. I'll shoot Max and Nev an email to tell them to call off the camera crew." I could hear that she was muttering witty comebacks underneath her breath, however my brain simply chose to block them all out.

I was too busy recounting all the endless nights I lost sleep over talking to Sebastian, making plans that would never see the light. The guy completely interrupted my life. There were moments where I caught myself smiling at my phone when I saw his name flash across my screen. My heart felt like it was going to implode and I got high off of that feeling to the point I became addicted. At night it amplified when I would pace my bedroom floor back and forth like a love struck girl anticipating on what Sebastian would say next. I wish I had a time machine, because I would use it to go back and break my phone into a million little pieces. Foolish, gullible, naive are just a few of the words I would use to describe myself for allowing myself to think that just for a moment any of that was real. So the second I start to move on and phase him out of system completely he moves into the house right next to mine. There was no denying that fate was certainly screwing with me.

"You never even gave me all of the dirty details of what exactly happened between you and sexy jeans." She said wistfully, still drinking him in from the where she stood.

I laughed despite myself. I looked to my friend and said, "Because I would rather picture him falling off of a cliff." I broke into a wide grin before slamming my face back down into the couch cushion.

"I don't believe you." She feigned a sigh, "He is flawless." I could hear the heels of her Jimmy Choos clack louder and louder against the floor as she joined in me in the living room.

"He keeps his flaws well hidden." I said, my voice barely audible with it being pressed into a sofa cushion. Cutting off any air circulation.

"One day you liked him then out of the clear blue sky you didn't.The guy told you he wanted to fuck you in front of a mirror to see every inch of you!" She said in amazement.

"No comment." I muttered.

Sonny huffed. "Well you certainly can not hide from him for long."

I pulled myself upright and slouched back on the couch in a more relaxed position. "Watch me." I said with full confidence.

The rest of the day flew on by in a slow pace. The transition in the sky gave away to its tell tale signs that the time was changing. Sonny and I spent our afternoon mindlessly scrolling through high fashion mood boards on Pinterest. Salivating over the vintage couture and places that were way out of our travel budgets as of right now. Together we planned a hypothetical trip to Northern France so that Sonny and I could visit Claude Monet's garden in Giverny.

It opened up a window of conversation for me to go into a spiel about Monet's love for art and botany. Not even for a second could I mask my fascination for art history. Which costed me a Milano cookie getting thrown in my direction, taking it as my cue to stop my blabbering. I couldn't help myself if I wanted to I had a weak spot for the subject. After all I did need a positive distraction so that my brain could cancel out any and all thoughts of Sebastian that crept into my head.

Usually when the mere thought of him invaded my mind it was very difficult to remove him. I was hardly paying any attention to what my friend was talking about for the last two hours. Though frankly I don't believe she noticed. It took the chiming sound of my doorbell to wake me from my trance.

Sonny stretched her arm out to stop me from getting up." Ahh let me get it! It's time for me to go anyway." She bent down and within a few seconds she retrieved her pumps and swiftly put them on her feet.

"I'm not expecting anyone it's probably just a delivery guy. I'm waiting on a package to arrive today." I tried turning my neck like an owl to get a better view out of the window behind me. I didn't see a postal truck or anyone dressed in uniform for that matter, fleeing like they just lit a fire on my steps. I never fully grasped the concept of why a delivery worker sprinted away like they were in a game of tag.

"Did you by any chance order a man?" She asked with humor laced in her voice.

"What?" I asked in utter confusion, seconds went by and she never responded with an actual answer. I called her name again. Still nothing, I focused my hearing and I could make out the sound of two muffled voiced mingling together from my front door. Curiosity driving my actions I quickly hopped up from the couch tiptoeing around the corner with a smirk on my face. Because I was under the guise that Sonny was flirting with the guy delivering my packages. Like a bad sketch from a variety show I was quickly faced with the reality of the joke. Soon as our eyes locked the charming smile he wore on his face dropped as quickly as mine did.

Sonny leaned her back against the door widening it just enough so that we could see each other. "Damn. Well this should be interesting."

[sebbybooks]

Sweetest Nightmare

Bucky Barnes x Fanfiction

“ I’ve been spending the last eight months.

Thinking all love ever does is break, burn, and end.

But on a Wednesday in a cafe, I watched it begin again.

- t.s

Bucky

I’ll be honest some nights I wish I could say I look forward to the nightmares that ultimately always pay me a visit. At least then I could say I went to sleep. If I close my eyes and hear nothing apart from my own thoughts, then I know I am in for a long night. For me silence creates this deafening noise that causes my ears to ring. I easily get overwhelmed by dead silence in the still of night.

In those moments my body goes on high alert, my heart rate and breath becomes accelerated like they are each in a race competing to see which can go the fastest. For some I know it’s the opposite, the quiet void that brings serenity and calmness most people typically crave.

I use to think of it as a tranquil experience. To be able to slowly wind down from the activity of the day, anticipating the rush of tomorrow. Only now when the sun goes down I become anxious and weary. Two things I am to constantly keep a lid on. If not those emotions forces me to hyper fixate on every normal aspect in my life I can’t seem to do right anymore. Like falling the fuck asleep.

When I realized I was just staring back into my eyelids I admitted defeat. No longer unable to do one innately mundane task I thought it was best to just keep myself occupied. Walking over to my safe I pulled out what was practically a high scale police scanner. With the swipe of the hand it provided an all access base catalog of wanted criminals for high profile cases that ran twenty four seven. Sam would most definitely blow a gasket if he knew I still had my hands on it. I can almost see it now, and the image actually makes me smile at the thought.

Technically I am not authorized to use it on my own, and even then I still would have to wait for clearance. But, when have I ever been good at following orders? Having sitting with it for a while and reading through the profiles I was convinced the information alone was good material to knock me out. Just as I was about to leave well enough alone and keep my nose clean something interesting eventually caught my eye.

Jodie

I loathe Wednesdays. I hate it with a burning passion I wish the whole day just erases itself from the weekly calendar and as a society we collectively decide to banish it. To forget its mere existence would be grand. Sincerely thoughts from a woman who’s heart that just got stomped on.

Six weeks ago I would call my declaration of hate absolutely ridiculous. Though I suppose getting dumped on a Wednesday stained itself in my world indefinitely. What is also in my world was heartbreak. Albeit, something I will never get use to, but it happens to the best of us therefor life simply has to carry on. After my boyfriend of three years decided to break up with me in the very same park he promised to propose to me my Wednesdays just have not been the same. Since then I am convinced they are jinxed.

Literally.

Every other day felt brand new like I was beginning to feel whole again. I could laugh without crying, the ache finally left my body, hell I sang Celine Dion at a karaoke bar! The lie that I had been telling people I was fine I actually was beginning to believe it to come true.

My days felt good, that was until Wednesday would roll around. In the morning I was on top of the world I didn’t think about my ex anymore. It was like it happened at the snap of the finger. Sean was starting to become a distant memory. That was until nightfall.

Oh, at night I was in fact not walking on sunshine. I would cry until I couldn’t feel air go into my lungs. The idea of eating food made me nauseated. There was this strange haze of numbness that would engulf me. It was as if my brain was programmed to punish me. I could only reminisce on the best parts of our relationship which again would reduce me to tears. For hours I would carry around this urgency to pick up my phone and call him. These breakdowns wouldn’t happen any other day except. . . you guessed it Wednesday.

I told myself tonight had to be different. I needed an escape from my own mental torment. I didn’t want to burden anyone that I knew with this problem. So I figured I do it best on my own.

Not many places were open around this hour of the night apart from a handful of establishments. I knew the second my stomach rumbled I would follow my gut, no pun intended. Not far from where I lived was a Donut shop that stayed open all hours of the day. Throwing on some jeans, and my old college sweatshirt I dressed myself in a hurry not necessarily dressing for the catwalk. I grabbed only my card holder and keys. I purposely decided to leave my phone, because my iPhone keeps recommending that I “Send message to Sean”. For the first time stepping foot outside of my townhome this night would finally be just what I needed.

Normal.

Bucky

The smell of stale sugary doughnuts and strong coffee bore into my nostrils making me curious as to how customers were lapping it up so eagerly. I sat in a booth with my back to the door near this incessant sound of a bell that hung above the door that constantly chimed indicating people were coming and going. In a few hours from now day would break, but you wouldn’t think that from the bustling clientele.

A fracture of myself found solace knowing that I wasn’t the only nocturnal person. A blessing and a curse, perfect for stakeouts in situations like this one. But sometimes it was the only time I could feel anything. Whether it was anger or sadness I naturally transported myself to exist back on my timeline almost like a daydream. Sometimes when life would show that it can be forgiving, I got to relive and be apart of my fondest memories.

I easily shake that sentiment, returning to the atmosphere around me. I remain seated in my booth planted almost like a wallflower, merely observing while trying to blend in. Honestly, I am not sure if I’m good at playing that part of civilian. I just keep hovering over my untouched cup of coffee hoping that no one recognizes me. For a second I thought a couple of the waitresses did, because they kept fighting each other over who got to come over to ask if I needed anything else.

If they didn’t I probably looked suspicious for just sitting here not even so much as taking a sip or I just looked like I didn’t know how to make a decent cup of joe. Checking the watch on my wrist as well as the one on the wall to make sure they lined up. The target in question would be in less than five hours sharp. At least supposedly, this was a shop he frequents the most around the same time four days out of the week. All I had to do was wait. I just didn’t know how much more of that damn bell I could take.

Not much was happening, just a painful yellow light lit up the joint, muddle chattering here and there and on the television ahead of me some gameshow was on. For a second there I felt like I could close my eyes just for a little while. I tested that theory out quietly asking for a tiny bit of peace. Clearly I am not yet deserving, because my ears attuned to the hell breaking loose at the register.

“If I knew how to fix it lady I would take my tech skills elsewhere. For the third time IT IS BROKEN!” Turning my head my eyes landed on a man behind the counter casting a look of exhaustion over to the petite raven haired woman standing on the opposite side of him. Normally I am one to keep my head down and mind my own business. Something about this conversation in particular just sparks my curiosity.

“Sir all I have on me are cards. Please can we just try it one more time. I swear I’m not trying to be the bane of your existence.” I could tell from the woman’s tone that she was being truthful by not wanting to be a thorn in his side. She sounded desperate for lack of better words.

“Look lady either can pay or you can’t. This here isn’t a soup kitchen, like life nothing in here is free.” He argued. For a moment she stared back at him silently I assume in disbelief. Either she was use to getting her way or she wasn’t use to assholes like Sal Beckett.

Hearing her suck in a deep breath. “You know I use to come here all the time. I know how busy this place gets, its nonstop in here. Which is great but equally tiring I am sure. So you have probably been on your feet for quite sometime, but I hope you know that this is not an excuse to be a dick to customers!” Her tone went from soft and understanding to pissed off.

From the times I have come in here this was the first time I have seen Sal become tongue tied.

“Now would you be so kind as to try it again?” I could tell this was one was feisty little thing. What I couldn’t figure anymore was who needed rescuing. I wasn’t even sure why I got up from my seat and asserted myself in the situation. Clearly she could handle her own, that is until Sal threatened to kick her out. Sighing to myself I wasn’t sure if this was a good or bad idea. As always I made the less practical decision.

Jodie

Deeply embarrassed, very much aggravated , and practically starved. I stood there feeling a combination of awkward and triumphant for at least standing my ground. I would be reading too much into it to say he had an agenda against me, because the couple before me paid with a credit card! The card reader could not have broken that fast. I was ready to say fuck it and return home when the unexpected happened.

To my surprise some guy appeared beside me sliding a twenty across the countertop. I turn my face to look at him, but he doesn’t even break eye contact with his Andrew Jackson. He only utters two words. “Problem solved.” I could barely spit out a thank you before he quickly backed away.

I was stunned by the kind gesture from this stranger and always because I am still human I couldn't help but notice that he wasn’t born he was sculpted and carved. Clearly sent down to exist amongst us mere mortals to make average looking men look inferior.

“Do you want your pastries or not?” The ass guffaws as he scoots my bag closer to me. I happily snatch up my treats giving him my best “fuck you, have a nice day smile”.

Turning around I decided that my night could either end here or I could sit inside a little longer. Relishing in my tiny victory. I walked down the aisle looking for a clean booth to sit in when I noticed I was about to pass him again.

“You know you just paid twenty bucks for three pastries?” It feels like an eternity passes without a response. “ Thank you.” I finally manage. I mean I was talking to the back of his head, I suppose the least he could do was turn around.

After a beat he finally acknowledged that I was not a figment of his imagination. “It was nothing.”

“To some people yeah, but nice people are rare nowadays.” It must have been the way I said it or the guy was batshit crazy. But that compliment earned me laughter. Walking around the other side of the seat to get a better look at him. My mom would be mortified, true crime podcast enthusiast however would be on the edge of their seat knowing that I was going up to a man I didn’t know.

“I’m sorry I seemed to have offended you?” I asked only sarcastically.

“On the contrary not at all.” He rasped out quickly. I blinked back my confusion as we give each other the strangest stare down. Though he was first to falter the longer he looked at me. I couldn’t tell he if was shy or sadthat I so much as looked at him. It was almost as if he was trying to hide his face.

I couldn’t understand why, clearly he must see his face every morning. Though I briefly played with the notion that perhaps he was just plain weird. I mean from my observations he was tending to a full cup of black coffee. He sat alone wearing a leather jacket and leather gloves I might add. Yeah, on second thought I decided to keep with the narrative that he was a red flag.

“Well okay, umm enjoy.” I motioned my hands out fumbling over what to say next when my bag toppled out of my hands. My bad luck was on a roll tonight as I watched my doughnuts land on the ground.

I bent down and retrieved two of them the other rolled past me near his boots. He looked over at me before glancing down and was visibly hesitant to retrieve it. It wasn’t like I was going to eat them, I just wasn’t one to litter. His hand hovered over my sticky pastry before sticking the tips of his finger in his mouth. Tugging at his gloved hand with his teeth he pulled it off. The way he performed such a simple act looked like sex on him. Leaning down once more I watched in disbelief as metal fingers wrapped around it.

Bucky

Trying to pass it back to her to either discard it or it dust it off for later, it’s not my business what she does with it. I’m holding it out her when I noticed her wild eyes staring at my hand.

Placing it on the saucer where my mug is I am quick to slide my glove back on. I am not even sure what reaction I would receive next. Is she terrified? Is she disgusted by who I am? Or is she going to milk the shit out this encounter? God I hope it’s one of the first two.

I’m surprised a piece of me even cares what she thinks. She’s just another pretty face in the crowd. Mentally kicking myself did I just call her pretty? And did I compare her to any other woman, because if I did which I did not, the woman before me whose huge brown eyes that were framed with long lashes fanning out from top to bottom. With a face that only shows up in your dreams. She was a knock out.

Any minute I expected her to go off like a time bomb, they always do. I shifted in my seat uncomfortably waiting for it to happen. Interestingly enough it never does.

“I’m sorry,” she says as she leans over and grabs the doughnut throwing it in her paper bag.”With a sad expression on her face. “ I just really wanted to eat that.” she pouts before laughing. For a minute I believe it’s genuine.

“Honestly?” I lean forward.

“Yeah?” Her voice is breathy.

“That looked absolutely disgusting.” I can’t even keep a straight face. “Was that sap on top?” I inquired, actually intrigued by how horrible I assumed it taste.

Her mouth parts open and I do my best not to notice that her top and bottom lips are perfectly plump. “Now you’re just throwing punches below the belt. The lemon honey doughnuts are my favorite!” She defends.

My face contorts. “That sounds diabolical.”

“Yeah well it’s not like I paid for it.” She smirks. What the hell was happening Buck? I asked myself. It almost didn’t feel real that I was having a normal conversation about something relatively simple. It felt strange really. An yet, I was trying my damnedest not to like it.

“And it was money well spent.” My mouth curved upward into a smile. I’m smiling now?

“If you say so.” Her small melodious laugh sounds every bit of like an angel singing a hymn. She’s getting ready to walk away, because what else is there to say? You’re welcome? At the same time I didn’t come here for this. I needed my focus and energy for what was to come.

She was distracting me. It was best this conversation to fizzle out, and for her to walk away. It’s not like it would eat me up for days never knowing her name. So long mystery woman. Moving those toned legs in the opposite direction, voice coming out terse. “What is your name?”

Heaven help me.

Jodie

I’m starting to believe that I am really oblivious. How did I not notice before who he was? Recalling from the moment I walked in from weary stares to starstruck glances customers have been fighting the urge to look away from him. Nope not me of course I was the one having banter about doughnuts with a reformed assassin.

“That’s classified information you never know who’s hunting you down nowadays.” I say nervously. If I could slap myself and it be normal I would, the awkwardness was rising up my body like a tide.

“Right.” He looks at me almost as if he’s trying to read me, get a sense of who I am or what the hell I am doing still talking to him. It dawns on me in that moment he is like apart of the Avengers. Gosh he probably thinks I’m going to toss my panties at him any second now. I cringe at idea that he thinks I am in awe by his presence. There’s not much that I know about him, apart from what flashes across the news.

If anything I should feel beside myself with fear to be so close to him. I had been standing there way to long at this point, yet my feet remained grounded. Strangely enough I wasn't scared, there was this seed of curiosity planted inside of me if anything. From our short lived encounter he just seemed like he wants to be left alone. An on that note the mental countdown finally went off and I finally decided to take my leave back to my place.

I nodded my head as a salute of thanks once again, “Have a good night.”

My skin pricked at the slightly husky quality to the sound of his voice when he spoke again. “Would you like to sit down?”

I blink in surprise thinking it is the lack of sleep sending false sounds to my ears. “Right here with you?” The question slipped off my tongue not sounding in a way I had intended it to.

He cast his gaze downwards and his body almost stiffens. From the look of it I either embarrassed him or offended him. “Yeah.” He says. A good yeah I hope. Without another word misspoken I slide in the booth opposite of him.

“You’re free to leave you know that right?” He says not even looking up at me as he finally takes a sip out of his coffee mug. I couldn’t help but keep my eyes glued to his movements. As a dancer teacher you can’t help but zero in on the fluid nature of bodily movements especially a bionic arm, and his are so light if that makes sense.

Setting his coffee down the two of us finally make eye contact. Feeling like I had a horn coming from my forehead I was the first to look away, considering he had just busted me for staring. “Sorry, I don’t mean to be rude.”

“I don’t really notice it as much anymore.” He answers cooly and I feel like an ass.

I sigh, “It’s just so big.” I felt instant regret soon as I heard how it sounded. His attention quickly snaps up to me as he remained focus on my face. I was almost certain I saw the corners of his mouth tilt up.

“Get your mind out of the gutter.” I groan, slapping both of my hands to cover my face.

“I’m not the one making comments about my girth” He says in his defense. I drop my hands to my lap and I see a slow smile slip across his face. I oddly feel giddy by my ability to make his smile appear again.

“Jodie.” I say as I toss my doughnut bag on the table, giving in.

“Jodie.” He repeats my name, but sounding out every syllable. It shouldn’t make me feel any type of way but it does.

“And what should I call you?” I fire back.

“What do you want to call me?” His eyes drop to regard me. It is hard to discern his playfulness from his serious decorum, because his stoic eye contact is unwavering. However, I do my best not to look measly underneath his intense gaze.

“James.” I say almost proudly. It felt slightly weird putting a name to his face, especially not recognizing who he was at first. He just about recoils at the sound of his name drop. I suck in my bottom lip to bite back laughter.

“You look like you just took a tequila shot.”

“Call me Bucky.” He swiftly says, face still scrunched up.

“Ok Bucky.” I do so in the same way he sounded out my name back to him. Testing it out in my mouth. Jesus, that sounded all kinds of wrong, especially because I don’t know him. An yet that makes it all the more exciting. In my wildest dreams of course.

“Can I be real with you right now Jodie?” I wish he’d stop saying my name like that. Bucky’s tone of voice was this deep, silky, husky whisper that drifted into my ears like honey. Which is now stuck. Because I’m pretty sure after today I will remember it for special purposes.

“Shoot.” I reply, squaring my shoulders to match his still posture.

Bucky smiled to himself but not the kind that indicated joy. Like he was methodically plucking the right words to say, “I’m crap with the small talk.”

Sucking in a deep breath smitten with his honesty I lean forward. “I’ve suffered with social anxiety since probably the day I was born. I’m pretty sure I was too self conscious to even cry in front the nurses.” I poke fun at myself. It becomes easier especially when running a studio full of blunt preteens six days out of the week.

“I use to be good at this.” The look in Bucky’s eyes harden. For the longest second I’m not exactly sure what he is referring to. I raise a quizzical brow.

“Talking.” His jaw tightens and I can tell he’s fighting with the urge to not let his true feelings show.

I smile at him.” You don’t suck so bad.”

“Ha!” He laughs an I can tell it’s genuine by the way he looks shocked at the sound of his own voice. The sad thing is he carefully looks around to make sure no one else did. Like he wants to remain invisible.

Turning his attention back to me his cheeks are slightly rose colored. Holy hell he’s blushing.

“Guess I’ll have to take your word for it Jodie.” He did it again and the shivers that it sent to my body traveled to perimeters that last hummed for my ex. I’m messed up for even reacting to this man I don’t even know. It’s got to be another side effect of my cursed Wednesdays.

Bucky

This is wrong.

My lungs feel like I ran to Siberia and back. I don’t get flustered. Hell I’m trained to feel to opposite. If I keep biting the inside of my jaw I am bound to bite into flesh. Something feels off and I don’t think it’s my boyish charm nor my new acquaintance Jodie. I like that name now.

No, something feels wrong. Jodie looks at me like she senses my paranoia. I see her lift her hand as if to place a calming touch on my arm, but soon rethinks it. She’s wrong if she thinks I would recoil or be angered by her touched. It’s for the better she didn’t because the second she touched me I knew I would be gone and that’s insane to say.

“I am just going to say it but that guy to my left has been throwing daggers at us with his eyes since I sat with you.” She says half jokingly, half worried. A variety of emotions flicker on Jodie’s face and I hate that I indirectly caused it.

I know not to look to where she is wanting me to. If she is right I don’t want whoever this guy is to know I’ve noticed.

“Describe him.” I tell her.

“Ummm well he’s the prick that took my order.” Jodie tells me a little more animated than before.

“Sal?” I say a little too loudly. A fucking rookie mistake, because as soon as he heard the lights in the place went completely black.

[sebbybooks]

Wreck My Daydream

Part Three

Sebastian Stan x Fanfiction

18+

Dalliance

(n.) a causal romantic or sexual relationship.

Nellie’s POV

Disappointment is such an uncomfortable emotion to feel. At least for me it is. There is this overwhelming amount of frustration from unfulfilled desires from something that is no longer in your reach. Your heart plays this cruel trick on your mind whispering to you that this is what you need and that you will feel empty without it. So, of course you want it even more right then and right now. In a way you are hungry for it. An when it does not work out the way you intended or it has not unfolded like you prayed how it would. A nest of many negative sentiments engulf you. It is often a unavoidable factor of life that comes without warning.

Like right now…The only coffee shop that I thought would be open was closed. I somehow let it slip my mind that today was Christmas Day.

I was the only car parked on the lot as I stared over at the quaint little shop. Maybe if I watched it long enough a miracle would take place and the sign would turn over and say open. In the meantime I watched as clouds of white air breathed in out of my mouth. It was as though the temperature was falling the longer I sat there. It didn’t matter that I was bundled up in my Carhartt beanie and puffer jacket. My body started to physically ache, it was so painfully cold. The heater inside of my great aunt Maria’s car was likely the same age as me therefore it didn’t do shit. When I finally decided to leave of course the car did not want to start. I don’t know why I sat there for as long as I did instead of calling for help. Ever so often in the passenger seat I could hear my phone vibrate alerting me of yet again another missed call. Without even turning my phone over I can already assume that it was a myriad of people calling. Even though I didn’t want to talk to him I had secretly wanted one of those notifications had Sebastian’s name on it.

I have been actively avoiding him ever since last night since the unexpected arrival of my cousin Vanessa and my recently single ex boyfriend Nick. Things could not have been more awkward then that encounter. With the bruising of a hickey forming so visibly across my collarbone that I wasn’t even aware of until I got dressed this morning. I couldn’t help but pick up on on the sadness brewing upon Nick’s face. Though that wasn’t even my favorite part.

No the cherry on top was watching my cousin throw herself on Sebastian, holding on to him like a stuffed bear. As she tried to bring up their clandestine time together. In that moment I felt the cookies from our bake off ferociously churn in the pit of my gut. Hell maybe it was acid reflux that was to blame. Nonetheless, my stomach was upset either way.

My parents were more than happy to accommodate the unexpected visitors so late into the night. The more the merrier they said. It’s Christmas morning after all. I somehow managed to sneak away retreating to my room with my tail tucked between my legs. Locking the door behind me. I had hoped Nick wouldn’t make a scene dredging that uncomfortable night between us, and I wanted Sebastian to stay far away from me.

Though that hasn’t stopped him from trying to talk to me. Less than maybe five hours ago exactly I was content and perfectly nestled in my daydream before it collapsed into a catastrophic nightmare. Yesterday I had my head so far in the clouds that the only people that existed in my temporary paradise was him and I. Although, it would be a shame to not confess that those few short moments with him felt like something sacred. An since I will never come close to having it with him again. Apart of me is grateful for the memory.

I titled my head forward to lean it again the steering wheel. Sometimes I tire of my own emotions that waver back and forth. Especially if it was trigged by the male species. I shouldn’t be so happy that I can still smell the savory scent of his cologne creating the ghost of him under my nose. Or that when I close my eyes his hands are firmly pressed into my naked flesh, fingers branding his name on my thighs. Nothing would ever scratch my brain than the sound of Sebastian groaning out my name from pleasure when I showed him that my touch was just as curious.

I don’t know when it happened but shamefully my feelings for Sebastian started to grow uncontrollably like colorful wildflowers in a field. Maybe getting proposed to by another man would do that to any other female in my position. I could no longer hide it even if I tried. He knew me well enough to see it and Nick was too blind to try. I felt guilty for wanting him when I knew I shouldn’t have. Sebastian was free to have dates with whomever. As his friend I should want to support that, right?

I wasn’t even sure if I was even mad at him. I fear I am incapable of being angry with Sebastian. Perhaps we do have our secrets with one another. I was right to feel anxious about telling him my feelings, especially since this was the outcome. He probably had always had a thing for Vanessa and never perused her because of me. Who could blame him she was bombshell with the kindest personality. I guess I am just …disappointed.

The loud humming of my phone started back up again. This time I picked it up to finally get a look at who it was. I stared at the contact picture as the red and green buttons dared me to make a choice.

Eventually I did.

Sebastian’s POV

I was a novice to this feeling. Hopelessness. It is cocky to say but I have never had to chase or feel a defeat like this.

I physically could not fall asleep and surrender to the torment of my unconsciousness. Half of it was due to the nature of me not having anywhere to sleep anymore. My spot next to Nellie was out of the question. Considering she didn’t want shit to do with me after she walked away without a word spoken. Even if I had elsewhere to go the thought of leaving her door wasn’t even an option for me.

The rest of the night I kept my back glued to the wall beside her room waiting for the chance to see her standing at the threshold. At the time it did not occur to me how awkward it would have been if one of her family members witnessed my desperation. In hindsight I gladly stayed my ass rooted to the floor, because there wasn’t a chance in hell I would let Nick go in. Cliche or not my instincts to protect Nell was always activated. But atlas, I couldn’t fight the sandman for long, because I was jolted awake when I felt four cat paws jump into my lap. That’s when I saw that I had missed the moment Nellie had finally left. I called and I texted leaving an ungodly amount of voicemails, that I am pretty sure clogged her mailbox. It wasn't so much that I wanted to talk to her to explain the situation with Vanessa. I just needed to hear her voice, to know that she was okay. By now she would have at least let me know she hated me that is one thing I’m sure of. There wasn’t even a crass text to tell me to fuck off. Not a lot scares but losing Nellie is always one of them.

Two hours must have gone by since I created a hole in the floor from pacing around the place. Apparently she nabbed Maria’s keys, bolted before anyone could tell her that the roads were covered in black ice and that no one in the area was open for business because of the holiday. I managed to avoid Vanessa’s untimely advances. She was seriously still trying to flirt with me when we were all concerned for her cousin. I’m not a complete asshole its just what happened between us happened months ago after Nell’s parents anniversary party. I remember that night in vivid detail. It was like Nellie and I were different people at that party.An I mean that in the best way possible.

We laughed until our stomachs caused us crippling pains. I remember holding her close dancing on the makeshift dance floor in the back yard until she had to go barefoot. She danced to every song that played and I believed her when she said she wanted to keep going. All I know was that she was heaven in my arms.

That silk blue dress she wore was hypnotic. The way it moved like ripples of water down her body as she swayed her hips to the music. She kept her body angled in front of me giving me a 360 of how hot she was. I’m pretty sure Nellie could feel the beat of my heart on her back, she was close. The dance floor was packed so we blended in perfectly. I’ll admit there were moments where we got carried away with things that went a little over the edge of our friendship boarder. Her head tilted back to rest her neck on my shoulder as we both found our rhythm. Ever so often my hand would slowly skim its way down her ribcage. The fabric barely did a thing I could still feel her smooth skin underneath. I’d palm her hips as she shimmied closer into me purposefully grinding her ass on my caged up erection. If our bodies rubbed even closer we would have started a fucking fire. She was a goddess amongst men. My chest and the back of my throat literally burned because I hated the ways guys looked at her. Nellie is the type of beautiful that you couldn’t imitate for all the money in the world.

We never did discuss what happened that night. Maybe now I know why.

As her friend I had loved her from a far for a long time. I could forever blame it on the alcohol but I was ready to tell her just that. I was so nervous I started to feel light headed. I couldn’t believe I was actually having the nerves back from my teenage self.

As I navigated through the throng of people it amazed me that her parents still didn’t face a noise complaint. Seven Wonders by Fleetwood Mac was playing so loudly you’d think you were behind a stadium hearing Stevie’s vocals live. It was Nell’s parent’s favorite song and all the guests seemed to be in high spirits. The lanterns adorning every high hanging branch even had me seeing stars. No drug on earth could imitate that feeling of happiness that I felt that. I loved her so damn much. I belonged to this woman.

Rounding the corner I was stopped in my tracks. “I wouldn’t go in there if I were you!” Vanessa held one finger up to her lips as if she was telling me something she shouldn’t be saying.

“Why shouldn’t I?” I called back. For as long as I’ve known Nellie I have known her younger cousin Vanessa. They were only separated by a few years but she always looked up to Nellie. Saying she was Nell’s opposite was a understatement, the two were day and night. An, yet that didn't stop her from wanting everything that Nellie had. The family always did think it was cute. It was better that I didn’t have an opinion on that. Vanessa could hardly contain her fit of giggling. It was oozing out of her against her will at this point. “Because I am pretty sure there is going to be a tiny earthquake coming out of the pantry any minute now.”

I raised my brow. A large majority of the people in attendance doubled me in age and then some. Now I was curious. “ How do you always have the raunchiest stories to tell?” I mused, shaking my head in amazement.

“ That’s because I have eyes in the back of my ass.” She rolled her eyes like the answer was obvious.

“It’s head Nessa.” I corrected.

Taking a couple of steps closer to me. Eyeing me like I was her prey and stuck in her trap. “Then how do I know you’ve stolen a glance or two at it?” Her brown eyes twinkled.

Oh God she is trying to flirt with me. Now I’ll admit on a good day our banter back and forth can sometimes go there. Nothing was ever serious. It was always harmless.

I didn’t necessarily want to entertain this, but heck if Tawny and Darren knew people were getting it on in their kitchen they would flip.“Who the hell is having sex right now?”

“Well,” Vanessa started as she closed any gap between us, making sure to press her breast firmly against me. “I overheard Nick saying he wanted to propose to our Nells Bells tonight.” She smiled and my heart sank to down to hell.

“But ssshh! Again you didn’t hear it from me.” She followed with that quickly. I heard nothing else after that. I could have made a grand gesture and still told Nellie how I felt. Or I could I have stomped on her big moment making her hate me for standing in her way. She was my best friend above all else. If that was who she chose than what could I do to change her mind?

I wanted that weird pang of hurt to not be there. I didn’t want to feel anything apart from mourning the future I thought I was moments from having. Again, blame it on the alcohol once more. My liquid courage turned to something that left a bad taste on my tongue. I couldn’t take back what I did just like I knew that I also didn’t want to be in competition for Nellie’s heart. Maybe someday but my ego couldn’t handle the rejection if she didn’t feel the same. I’d take it from any one else, just not her.

“Do you want to get out of here. I’ve had my fair share of sappy couples?”

“Let me lead the way.” Vanessa wrapped her arm around me eager as ever. She wasn’t letting me out of her sight and I wasn’t going to turn her away.

“My goodness sweetie you had us worried sick! I know you are your own adult but give your old mother a head ups if you want to be a snowman.” I could hear the worry and elation mingle in her mother Tawny’s voice at the sight of Nellie I assumed. My legs would not move as fast as I wanted them to. I could have leapt over the bannister to get a peak of her sooner.

“I tried to get back faster but as I started the car it just made a sharp scratching noise. Mom I am pretty sure that my fingers are going to snap off like carrots any minute.” I heard her audibly shiver as she laughed. Making my body warm all over from the sound of it. I’m running to her at this point.

“I’m just glad he got to you when he did. He’s always been your Clark Kent.” Tawny said so lovingly. I finally made it to the kitchen and her mother had her wrapped in five blankets, maybe even more. She was sitting at the kitchen table as her mom tugged off her boots. I thought it was my voice that I heard until I realized it was Nick’s. It was like the universe said round two bitch, because why did he kiss the top of her head and why did she look up an smile?

[sebbybooks]

Are you gonna upload more to the wreck my day dream story with nellie and Sebastian?

First off, Happy New Year! I took a long break from writing and honestly this actually made me want to pick it back up. I have so much left for this fic! So yes I will be uploading more

[sebbybooks]

Wreck My Daydream

Part Two

Sebastian Stan x Fanfiction

18+

Tagged🎄

@wayward-mikaelson

Cataglottism

(n.) kissing with tongue

I’m already wet and Sebastian barely even touched me.

I hardly gave myself a moment to be ashamed or even stir in the crass words I was using even if I had only thought them. Like a diary I suppose there was no need to lie to myself considering it was one hundred percent true. I, Nellie Lennox, was unabashedly met with unending desires that washed away my trepidations that led up to this moment.

In its place I felt this newfound sense of possibilities that I wasn’t actually making an ass out of myself with my sudden confession of feelings for Sebastian. In my defense I didn’t just wake up one morning after having some epiphany as to why I wanted to be with him. The thought of us together made itself at home in the back of my mind.

Almost like a what if. . .

However, I couldn’t help but be terrified of all the ways it could go wrong. What if I had made things weird between us forcing us apart? Life would be a bitter existence if Sebastian wasn’t around in some capacity. For the longest time I tried to find him in different relationships. It is a messed up philosophy, but it almost worked. Whenever things would get too serious it nearly terrified me. I was their someday and they were my maybe. I owed this last relationship that is still so freshly cut more than that.

I owed myself that.

On the unique and rare chance I somehow got lost in a very realistic maladaptive daydream, I’m pretty certain Sebastian wants this too. Just thinking about what he had told me seconds ago made my heartbeat drum to a dizzy rhythm. Imagining myself getting fucked to the beat of it was a completely different type of sensation.

Retraining my focus on the now I could see it in Sebastian’s face all the wheels going around in his head. Confusion? Uncertainty? Regret?

“You don’t get to do that.” I tell him. I felt like I was going to climb out of my own skin if he left me suspended in the silence for a second longer. Sebastian tipped his face closer to mine, our lips gingerly brushing against each other. Perhaps he was feeling ambivalent in regards of his feelings for me? After all this was sprung on him in the middle of the night.

Sebastian shook his head as if he was at war with himself. “I want to.” His voice was strained and dangerously low, like something was causing him utter misery being this close, yet not knowing exactly when to pull away.

“Then why don’t you.” I dared him.

I was growing impatient with this slow burn we had somehow started. I wanted to play with this fire. If I got burned in the end by his touch then so be it. At least I would forever be marked with a reminder of knowing that I at least went after something I wanted with no apology. I wanted to see how far he was willingly to go.

Sebastian removed his hand from the security of being wrapped around me. I feigned a disappointed sigh at the lack of contact. My entire body must have been on autopilot , because I didn’t recognize the position I was in. I practically sat in his lap with one leg wrapped around him and the other one mindlessly dangling over the bed. Of course the mind reader that Sebastian was naturally grabbed ahold of the side of my thigh and wrapped it around his back.

It wasn’t like I was naive to sex or never had my fair share of romantic conquest. Regardless of my experiences I still felt like a gigantic ball of nerves. The way he stared down at me with a heated look in his eyes as if he wanted to posses every inch of me. Hell, I felt like I could come undone from that alone.

The hand that was planted on my back slowly drifted downward trailing the curve of my backside gripping my ass through my thinly silk hunter green shorts that matched the top. Earlier I had berated myself for wearing scantly clad pajamas to bed. Now I am thanking my lucky stars I opted out of the option of wearing a red Christmas onesie that had polar bears wearing scarfs around their necks. They were ones my mother insisted the whole family wear.

If I had I probably would not have been able to feel his erection that was restrained in his sweatpants. Trying to situate myself closer I rocked into him slightly, massaging myself on him. My ears didn’t miss the subtle groan Sebastian let out from the feel of my weight pressing further into him.

His silence wasn’t lost on me and he still hadn’t answered my question so I did it again. I wanted him to say something. My nervousness abated at this point. I twined my arms around his neck, grinding myself against him again and again. All the while Sebastian watched my every movement with a hint of a star struck look in his eyes. The feeling was certainly mutual I was even shocking myself at my behavior.

“Nellie,” Sebastian finally says, voice husky. He usually only ever calls me by my nickname so I was more than sure that he was not fully himself.

“I’m a big girl Sebastian I can handle whatever you need to say.” I tell him, holding in my breath.

“Alright,” he said with uncertainty. “You and me, this, it’s not a good idea.” His tone was barely audible and even more so he sounded hurt. Everything in me froze.

“And why is that?” I asked him more confused than ever. Suddenly feeling absolutely self conscious as I over analyzed every intimate word I just shared with him. I was even more horrified by the fact that I was dry humping my best friend.

He let out a darkly laugh. “It’s pretty damn obvious Nells.” Sebastian says rather ominously.

“...It’s not actually.” For someone that wants nothing out of this, Sebastian was holding on to me like an anchor and I on the other hand just wanted to get away and sink.

Admittedly, I was losing this game of tug a war. There was only so much I was willing to endure even I had my limits. “You’re giving me whiplash Sebastian .” I tell him honestly, “ I’m not like those other girls you go for that are satisfied with you just dangling yourself in front of them like a piece of cake that I can’t have. I meant what I said when I told you I didn’t say it just to hear you say the same.” My voice could only rise so high in pitch.

I definitely didn’t want to wake up the upstairs guest that would love nothing more than to recap this conversation over breakfast. Then like an unexpected bolt of lighting startling you from a distance, Sebastian kissed me.

Sebastian

I am a selfish bastard.

My mind fell quiet when I looked at her. I wanted to swim in the serenity and peacefulness that was this smart, vibrant, sexy, and uniqueness this woman possessed. I only wondered even in the darkness could Nellie see my eyes as plainly as I can see hers. If so could she see the shame reflecting in them? I could feel the nagging weight of my conscience siting on both of my shoulders, arguing back and forth over what I should and shouldn’t do. It was kind of ironic that the devil in my ear insisted that I give in to the angel in my lap.

God knows I waited for her and that I would keep waiting if I had to in this lifetime or the next. It was always going to be Nellie for me. I wanted to tell her all of this, but the longer I held on to this slice of heaven I was given during this random hour. I also knew that this moment was fleeting. I basked in the way she looked at me, the way she held on to me like I was an object of virtue. I also got a sample of what it would be like to lose her the second she began to slip away on her own accord. So, I did what any poor fool would do in my position. I kissed her.

It wasn’t exactly suave or how I imagined it would go. My mouth sort of crushed against her unmoving lips in a rushed and unskilled manner. Frankly, I wasn’t sure what I was doing, I certainly could do a hell of a lot better than this. An yet, it was still like I predicted it would be, filled with pure unadulterated pleasure. Nellie’s lips were sweet and warm, exactly how I imagined forbidden fruit to taste like.

A perfect mixture of firm and softness that drove me wild. She flattened her hands on my bare chest as if to brace herself. Nellie pushed herself away, but her face was still so close to me. She didn’t speak and neither could I. I forced myself to look up at her and hoped that she could see I would do everything in my power to earn her forgiveness. That it was a mistake I will make right somehow.

“Nell,” I let out an exasperated breath. “ I have a need for you that goes deeper than just lust and I know that it will never truly be sated. The killer thing is I’m already at risk of losing you before I even had you.”

Nellie stared hazily up at me.“You already have me.” She whispered, our lips still grazing. Those four simple words set off a firework in me. This time when I kissed her our mouths came together like we needed to feed off of each other’s oxygen in order to survive. I’d suffer if I didn’t have it.

My mouth was greedy for hers, and I could imagine she felt the same. The moment I felt her lips slightly part open to let me in, less than a second our tongues slid together in a torrid and sensually slow pace. We kissed like a couple of eager teenagers. My heart threatened to leap from my chest when the tip of Nell’s tongue moved across my bottom lip. She tastes like gingerbread , mixed with some other divine flavor that I can only assume is Nellie. She arched herself closer into my chest and I could feel the points of her hardened nipples through her top. I seized the opportunity to press her body close because I needed more.

I wanted to feel the heat of her soft skin on mine. She returned her arms back around my neck tightly holding me in place as she angled her head kissing me back with the same ferocity. Deeply, and oh so thoroughly by the way she sucked on my tongue. I had a rough grip on her ass keeping Nellie steady as she straddled me. I was so damn hard for her. If my dick could get even harder it was bound to. Nellie did that thing again where she grinds down on my erection and I cursed at myself to not combust. I grabbed ahold of her hips guiding her to move faster, harder.

I kept telling myself to savor her, fucking take my time with this moment. I couldn’t just rip those tiny little shorts off and sink myself into her over and over until we’ve both had enough. But even then I would always need more of her. I wasn't a sentimental man, with Nellie I at least wanted to try. I wanted my first night with Nell to be a little less spontaneous than this. It wasn’t like I came prepared for festivities filled with endless fucks. Plus the added fact I couldn’t let things get too carried away especially since she still didn’t know what I have done.

Yeah, I am a very selfish bastard.

I didn’t want this to end. I wanted my mouth to explore every single part of Nellie. I wanted the taste of her to live on my tongue. I wanted to go as far as she and my consciousness would allow me.

“I need to touch you.” I panted, between every nip and kiss I left on the delicate area of skin under her jaw.

“You’re already touching me.” She says with a soft laugh, which was a melody to my ears. I was but at the same time I wasn’t. I needed to rid Nellie of any barrier that prevented me from branding her skin with my touch.

“This…off.” I tug gently on the bottom of her tank top before returning my hands to rest on her thighs, caressing them as I sucked on her neck for dear life. Going back and forth between grazing her neck with my teeth then licking over the area to soothe any imprint I’ve left.

Nellie crisscrossed her arms reaching for the hem of her top gracefully pulling it over her head. She purposely fell backwards onto the mattress aiming her shirt at my face. For as long as I’ve known Nell she was never one to be shy in her own skin.

“Imagine how unsexy that would have been if I hit my head on the headboard.”

“As long as you didn’t hurt yourself I would have just pretended that I didn’t see a thing.” I teased.

“Ah, to think they wonder where all of the good men have gone.” Nell scrunched up her nose pretending to be lost in critical thought.

I cock my head to the side. “Mm-hmm. Are you mocking me?”

“What if I am?”Her plump wet lips spread into a smile.

It was miracle I caught a word of what she said to me. I swallowed a groan as my eyes drift over the area of her body that was naked from the waist up. Nellie was clearly a stolen painting from the Louvre that I had no intention of returning. All I could do was stare.

With her legs still draped around me, my hands slide up the curve of her torso passing her ribs. I sensed that she was watching me, but I didn’t dare take my eyes off of her just yet. The pads of my fingers traced over to her breast and my mouth practically watered at the sight of them. She was ethereal.

“Don’t suddenly go mute on me Sebastian.” She let out a shaky breath.

I’ve heard her say my name a thousand times. Hearing her say it in this state created a feeling of warmth that filled my chest. I could only begin to imagine the different ways I wanted to hear her call out my name. My gift, my best friend, my Nellie. Those last words had a sting to them even as I thought them. Deep down I knew that was never going to be true.

I eased all the way down my tongue traveling around the dip of her navel. Creating a path up the center of her abdomen. I knew that Nell was extremely ticklish. The slightest form of contact would automatically turn her into a ninja. From the way she was pressing herself back into the mattress I knew she was trying her hardest not to flee. Of course I found it rather enticing so I made sure to spend extra time over the areas of her exposed skin I knew to be the most sensitive. Brushing the tip of my nose between her breast my mouth finally latched on to what I’ve been waiting for.

“So fucking beautiful.” I say as I graze my mouth over the stiff peak of her nipple. I was in awe over the ability that they simultaneously could feel hard yet felt extremely soft. I dragged the tip of my tongue around the bud of it in a languid movement before sucking it in deep. I loved listening to the sounds she made while I sucked and devoured as much as I could fit into my mouth. I wanted to hear a symphony of the noises that escaped from Nellie.

Going for one after the other not wanting to miss out on either. Nellie kept a limp hand pressed into my hair keeping me close as if I dared to stop.

Writhing underneath me Nellie gasped,“Touch me.”

Now she understood what I meant. My own body felt betrayed by my decision. I literally ached from pain and pleasure. Truthfully I wouldn’t opt for a better scenario than this. I would be more than gratified with giving Nellie an orgasm or two.

Still leaving featherlight kisses across her chest. With one hand I reach down and brushed along the dip of Nellie’s hip, then began to tug away at her shorts. To my surprise she was bare underneath. This was a new and uncharted territory we were crossing.

Tell me to stop, say that this is just the wrong time, tell me we would never work. Those words never escaped me, the sound of the goddamn doorbell intervened for her. My movements hesitated then shortly I picked up on inaudible chattering out in the hall. Nellie turned her head in the direction towards the door which I hoped like hell was locked. “Maybe we should go see what’s going on.” Her eyes widened.

“Or we could stay here and not shame the fact that I was two seconds away from wrapping your legs around my face while I tasted the slickness between your thighs. ” Nellie released a ragged breath and I meant every word.

To my dissatisfaction we were composed in under three minutes. I felt a strange sense of comfort and pride seeing that ever so often I’d catch Nellie looking in my direction smiling like she had some big secret she was bursting to tell. Which only made me feel like an even bigger asshole. The walk downstairs was surprisingly noisy. Someone had plugged the Christmas tree back up and there was a chilly wind breaking in as the front door came to an immediate shut.

Nellie’s parents were both moving around in a fast pace trying to find new spots to put a couple of suitcases. I had to swallow down a chuckle at the sight of their bold choice of pajamas. Nellie had already beaten me to the bottom of the staircase just as I rounded the corner of the spiral stairs.

“Cousin!” Vanessa squealed rushing over towards Nellie, who excitedly embraced her the same. They exchanged a few excitable words to each other that I tuned out. I was busy focusing on the six foot son of a bitch with a puppy dog expression on his face standing awkwardly behind them.

“Now you know Nells Bells you can’t have Christmas without good ole St. Nicholas can you?” She winked at a stone faced Nellie who just looked straight ahead at her ex boyfriend Nick. “I hope it’s okay I brought him over with me. I saw him at the airport dozed off in a chair.” Vanessa whispered as she leaned into Nell, like she just earned a gold star. Soon as Vanessa’s wild dark brown eyes caught ahold me I knew my bubble was about to pop.

“Something told me I was off the naughty list this year.” Vanessa bit at her glossed up lips and made a beeline towards me, wrapping her arms around my waist. She smelled like an overtly sweet perfume that tortured my sinuses. “Did you forget how to work a phone or what? I’ve been trying to get ahold of you for days. I miss you.” She cooed.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Nellie watching the two of us. This was my punishment.

[sebbybooks]

Wreck This Daydream

Sebastian Stan x Fanfiction

Basorexia

(n.) The sudden urge to kiss someone.

"Sebastian. . ." The utterance of his name slipped out of my barely parted mouth. It had taken every ounce of the courage I had within myself to prepare for the mountain I thought I was about to climb.

As I laid there on my side concentrating on every minuscule detail of his bare back that by now I have reduced to memory. I tried to predict the possible outcomes that were about to unfold. I could genuinely feel the beat of my heart racing like I had just did something to evoke symptoms of an adrenaline rush. Though in hindsight what I was about to do was just as thrilling. Confessing your feelings to your longtime friend in my opinion should be considered one of its triggers.

I held my breath as I watched and waited for any signs of movement from Sebastian. A part of me desperately wanted him to have heard me call out for him. On one hand I was scared shitless that maybe he did and perhaps pretended like he hadn't. He was such a light sleeper you could drop a needle and he would wake up from the sound of it. I was drumming up a multitude of scenarios in my head as to why he hadn't turned around yet.

The only logical one I could settle on was that he was in an alcoholic induced sleep. It was the night before Christmas Eve and there was a tradition in my family in which we would all go to our town’s quaint Christmas tree light up farm, while getting drunk off the alcohol we’d sneak in. This year was no different apart from Sebastian wanting to join us.

I wanted to just get this moment over with like ripping a bandaid off a heeled wound. I craved for painless and easy ,but in the pit of my stomach it felt like slow torture. I extended my arm over the row of pillows that I had placed between us, rapidly tapping him on the shoulder. Overlooking the fact that his skin felt cold and demanding of a warm embrace. I was guilty of hogging the blanket despite it being my request we keep the room at night set to Arctic freeze. Sebastian being the guy he is never even put up a fight. Sebastian flexed the bulging muscles in his back as the top of his shoulder rotated, that was being highlighted underneath the silvery moonlight.

It took everything in me not to allow my hand to linger over the strong lines on his skin for a second longer. I wanted to be allowed to touch him. I wanted to reacquaint myself with the parts of himself that he bared for the public to see, and I wanted to learn of the parts of him that was hidden away.

I felt trapped in a daydream really. An no one tells you just how dangerous those can be. Before you know it, it will feed into your fantasies and have you doing some crazy shit. Like breaking up with your boyfriend over text at an airport right before boarding a flight home for the holidays. I called out his name again only a little louder this time hoping to grab his attention. There was only slight movement from his body.

Maybe that sign of movement meant that he was actually starting to wake up or he was simply having a hard time faking it for this long. After waiting another terribly long five minutes I rolled back over on my side of the bed.

"What's wrong Nellie ?" He finally spoke. I quickly shut my eyes afraid if I expelled a breath he would hear it. I couldn't tell you why I thought Sebastian would be dumb enough to assume that I fell back asleep so suddenly. "I know you're still up." Wonderful, so he's communicating through my thoughts as well!

Suddenly I was experiencing a full body cringe. This was what I was waiting for yet, I couldn't bring myself to turn around now that the spotlight was finally on me. I turned around after several long minutes my face unsmiling. "I think I'm drunk." Technically that wasn't a lie. I was ninety- nine percent sober with a drop of liquor in my veins, it was just hiding in my bloodstream somewhere.

"I'm not surprised considering you drank your weight in spiked eggnog." Sebastian retorted, his voice sounding like he was waking from a deep slumber. I suppose he wasn’t faking being sleep after all. A corner of his lips lifted into a half grin. He looked down at me with such curiosity flickering off his drowsy blue eyes. I sighed, if he only he knew my drinks were virgins.

I had to set a mental timer in my head that gave myself a short window to be taken in by his gaze. My inhibitions always got the better of me when he looked at me like that. I felt as though all my flaws rose to the surface for him to see, and yet at the same time he looked at me as if I was the only person on the planet that didn’t have a single imperfection. This feeling that I felt didn't feel like a crush. No this hellish agony was a curse.

I was breaking all the unspoken codes and rules of friendship by falling for Sebastian. I kept telling myself "look away Nellie, it’s for your own good". But, then again of course there was a tiny whisper from my heart saying that a few more seconds shouldn't hurt. I released a dramatic sigh before I rolled back over to my side facing the frosted windows realizing that I needed to abort this plan and close the window.

I waited for his inquiring mind to be silenced from all future questioning. My face was rested on my pillow with both hands clamped together placed underneath my chin. The room that once felt perfectly cold was quickly changing into an uncomfortable chill. You'd think an army of penguins would march right out of my childhood closet because of the temperature in my bedroom.

A stifled gasp escaped from my mouth that was paired with a static shock that I felt from my chest all the way down to my toes. I had felt the faintest trace of Sebastian's fingertips trail across my neck in one sweeping motion. Albeit, he was only moving my hair but still that gesture did something to me.

"What could possibly be on an inebriated Nellie’s mind at this ungodly hour?" He asked, his lips hovered over my ear. I struggled to stay still. The lower half of my body wriggled in a awkward fashion in an attempt to starve of the aching need that traveled below the waistline.

I scrunched my nose. "You know you should never bother the intoxicatingly innocent."

Sebastian made a tisking sound, pretending to take offense. "What kind of man do you take me for Nell?" The kind that I am in love with. I blinked fast, really hoping I kept that part to myself. "It's me you are talking to." I could tell from the cadence of his voice that he was now wanting me to take him seriously.

Turning flat on my back I kept my attention adverted upwards on the artwork on my ceiling. Still stunned that after all these years the fresco artwork never needed a touch up, the paint never appeared chipped or faded. "I know." I swallowed, my mind was overflowing with different ways to go about this. "That is what's making this a thousand times harder." I tilted my head just enough so I could catch a glimpse of his reaction.

A quizzical expression colored Sebastian's face. "Nellie what is it?"

“It’s nothing.”

“Okay.” He drags out, giving me a skeptical look. “Then let’s talk about nothing.”

I pinched my lips together, feeling utterly ridiculous at this point. I opened up Pandora's box now I don't want to deal with its consequences. Sebastian adjusted himself so that he could prop his weight up on his elbow. He practically hovered over me, completely ignoring the pillow boarder that was assembled.

"The longer you leave me suspended on this cliffhanger its starting to make me worried here." His laughter fell flat. "Look at me." His voice rasped. I refused. An there it was that damn hand of his again carefully cupping my face as he slowly guided mine to his.

"Whatever it is you can trust me with it. I'm not going anywhere."He tells me as he studies my face intently. The heavy amount of eye contact we were making made my pulse spike. Something was certainly shifting between. I just couldn't decipher if it was good or bad.

I heaved out a breath. "I robbed a bank last Tuesday."

He didn't respond he only looked at me with a lazy grin on his face further defining his chiseled jaw. Sebastian was still holding onto my face with his thumb still moving in languid circular motion across my cheek. It occasionally brushed against the side of lip and such imitate gesture made me wonder if he already knew what I wanted to say before I could say it.

"When I'm called in for questioning I'll make sure to tell them that you didn't leave my side that day."

"See I knew I could count on you." I say, feeling utterly breathless.

"Nellie." He urged.

I squeezed my eyes shut and just forced words to come out of my mouth. I don’t think I even took a breath. "I admire your ability to be able to put up with my great aunt’s awful caroling. I love that you’re someone that actually stops traffic on the freeway because you see a turtle struggling to cross. Don't get me started on your killer baking skills. I would have beaten you in yesterday's cookie competition if I wasn't partnered with my six year old nephew." I recount on the memory, a slow smile spread across my face.

"I am only a champion at it because I love to eat it." A small mischievous smile touches his lips. I open my eyes unsure of how to quickly respond to such innuendo. Yet, somehow I couldn't stop going.

"I'm trying to be sentimental."

"Ok carry on." He said to me.

"There's so much I could say right now that reflects on why I am lucky to have you as my friend. You make me laugh right as I’m about to cry and you catch me when I’m seconds away from hitting the ground. You mean so much to me Sebastian and that is why I was so scared to tell you. When my parents wanted to extended the invitation to stay with us for the holidays and you said yes, I don't know something in me just said do it." It felt like a cord of thorns was wrapping around my stomach. Now was not the time to get an anxiety induced stomachache.

"Are you going tell me or am I going to have to guess?" Sebastian asked me with speculation in his voice. Nothing. I was still unable to bring myself to the precipice of no return.“I’ll say it if you won’t.” Sebastian whispered.

I could only offer him a monosyllabic response. I started to rigorously bite down the inside of my bottom lip a terrible habit I couldn’t shake since middle school. It felt like a wave of panic was beginning to swallow me whole. Looking up at Sebastian who I feared thought that I may have actually been drunk due to my rambling, stared at me like I was a fallen star. It was too late to turn back now, because he knew.

"We never keep secrets from one another so I think it's time you know." I paced myself because once he hears those words I know that there was no going back. "I've had feelings for you for a while now and I swear to you this won't change anything on my part. I rather keep you as my friend than not have you at all since you don't feel the same." It felt like I didn't stop to breathe it all ran out in one breath.

Sebastian's brows furrowed, suddenly he dropped his hand from my face and my heart mimicked the gesture. I'm not even sure why I said it. I knew not to expect anything from that confession alone but his non reaction still stung. Regret and rejection created an acidic taste that lingered on my tastebuds.

I could not stay there to sit in my embarrassment for the rest of the night. Even though technically it was my old bedroom the idea of asking him to leave would have been even more awkward. Removing the blanket from my waist I sat upright to leave the bed.

Oh well.

"Just hold on for a second Nell." Sebastian sat up to stop me, his mouth was cast downward and the look on his face was unreadable, yet still very much breathtaking.

"I really would rather not. I didn't tell you so that you could let me down gently." I extended my arm to my shoulder to pull up the fallen strap on my thinly made tank top. From his perspective I probably looked like I wore it to try to seduce him. When in actuality I wasn't even aware we would be sharing a room, let alone a bed.

As I started to rise he hooked his arm around my waist bringing me back down. "Stay.” His voice was gentle.

For the fear of going tongue tied I said nothing at all. Sebastian bent his neck down, the tip of his nose grazed my shoulder. His mouth just lingered over the dip in my shoulder causing strands of his hair to fall forward. It tickled the side of my neck . If the moment hadn't of felt so intense I probably would have told him he was long overdue for a haircut. Right now I just felt completely out of my element with him.

Sebastian

I pictured how this moment would go more times than I care to admit to myself. In all the possible scenarios none of them I ever imagined myself in bed with Nellie hearing her say the words first. To say that I was caught off guard was an understatement. Being in such close proximity was something I was use to.

I had been around her for nearly ten years, there never really was an awkwardness between us. Yeah we held hands from time to time, and clung on to each other while we were out in public. Nell’s parents didn’t even bat an eye at the fact we were sharing a bed for fucks sake. They encouraged it!

This was normal.

Holding her like this was different.

Apart from the fact I was convinced that by now my dick had turned into an icicle due to dropping temperature in the room. I also had a hunch she had the window cracked open just a little. Either I had become numb to the biting cold or I simply stopped noticing anymore. All of a sudden my sensory perception was attuned solely to Nellie. Soaking all of her in at once my eyes scanned over the frame of her. Drinking in her scent, she always smelled of some floral and fruity mixture of some sort that drove me crazy in the best way possible.

“Is is too much to ask for you to not get up and walk away right now?” I didn’t want to scare her off because knowing Nell she usually tends to get out of a situation or problem when it becomes too much to handle. It was just her way of dealing.

"You kinda have me trapped." She arched her chin up so that we were practically nose to nose. I loosened my grip around her waist, but kept my hand still planted against the center of her abdomen. I wasn’t letting her go, at least not yet. I could practically feel the softness of her skin and the hollow outline of her navel through the material. That flimsy top she wore was killing me.

“You never cease to amaze me Nell.” I rasp out.

“Hmm, I think you’re just easily impressed.” She said mockingly, turning her whiskey colored eyes back at me.

“You’re never afraid to say what you’re thinking.” I mused.

“And you are?” Her brows knitted together as she peered down at me through her thick long lashes.

“It terrifies me.” I said hoarsely.

She hesitated at my honest confession before asking. “Why?”

Trying to keep my train of thought steady was like an Olympic sport at this point. I couldn’t concentrate on a damn thing apart from the curve of her breast. The way she took each breath with such deliberation causing them to rise and fall. It boggles my mind that she would for a second think that my feelings would be antithetical to hers. I lowered my face closer to her. An overwhelming scent of a decadent perfume mixed with the sweet natural scent of Nellie only fueled my need to kiss her. I needed to know if her lips felt like wet velvety softness against mine. I wanted to know how her plump bottom lip would feel under my teeth as I carefully grazed it. Did her lips taste better than a vintage bottle of wine? I bet they fucking do.

Nellie’s mouth was slighted parted. Almost as if she was waiting for it too. My hold of her tightened and I wondered was it because I was scared that this was all just a dream. That in another breath she was disappear.

“Because,” I paused licking my lips wet. “I’m always thinking of what it’s like burying myself deep inside of you. An I can never just lead with that.” The look on Nellie’s face melted into a scene of multiple emotions from shock, to wonder, to lust.

“What else are you thinking?” Her voice rose with curiosity, never once taking her eyes off my mouth.

In truth, I wanted her to know every singular thought that I have ever had about her. How it only took a week of knowing her to know that I wanted to belong to her. That she was mine. I had this barbaric possessiveness about her that I struggled to keep at bay, because knowing Nellie she would tell me she didn’t need rescuing. She wasn’t the type of woman that needed a King to make her a Queen, she was already one on her own.

So it absolutely ripped my insides to shred whenever I knew she was seeing someone or when I would see the hands of whatever dipshit she was dating wrapped around her like she belonged to them. Especially his hands. Though I didn’t sound any better.

To me Nellie was a damn gift that needed to be cherished and unwrapped with the upmost care. For so many years I wanted her to know she had both a mind and body that I would walk on burning coal to worship. I never could no matter how hard I’ve tried and I’ve tried a thousand times. I now know that shipped forever sailed.

I no longer find myself deserving of her and when she hears of what I did she will hate me. I know I already do.

[sebbybooks]

Never Mine

Sebastian Stan x Fanfiction

Part One

"With my dog as my witness, to whoever was riding my ass if they didn't back off my bumper I was going to stop in the middle of the road and rip their windshield wipers completely off!"

That type of anger coiled around me like a snake, because there was nothing that bugged me more than someone driving bumper to bumper. The long and exasperated breath I just released helped ease the tension out of my body temporarily. Just in time for reason to settle in. Though in reality it wasn't like I was actually going to jump out of my car and confront this road demon. Who clearly needed to take a course on etiquettes of the road. What I did know was that whoever was behind the wheel of the car had headlights that were so blinding I am sure extraterrestrials in space could spot them.

Trying to find the calm in the situation I focused on the road ahead of me. What little road I could see for that matter. Which wasn't exactly much. I had checked the forecast earlier in the day with the report of it showing that there was to be only clear and blue skies. By the amount of downpour before me you would think there was a tear in the sky if that was how rain fell. I just needed to hang tight for a few more miles until I reached my exit to stop for the night.

I had been driving for nine consecutive hours and it wasn't until the third hour I realized I was not cut out for long distance driving. The plane ticket I turned down from my father was starting to look like a missed opportunity. I opted out for Cooper's sake. I just rescued the little guy a few short weeks ago and I didn't have the heart to leave him alone so soon.

Despite having only six more hours of this painful drive I needed out of my car. A hot shower and a bed was calling my name like a siren's call was to a dazed sailor at sea. I was fervidly drawn to it. Granted, I wasn't exactly going the speed limit in my own defense. Simply because I chose to be a cautious driver not a careless one unlike the dip shit behind me. Cooper and I were going to get to Sonoma, California in one piece if I had anything to do with it! I had no intention to speed in the rain even if it annoyed the person behind me. After all I was driving down a one lane road there was literally nothing else I could do but drive forward.

Taking a glance up at my trusty Garmin my gps projected that at this rate I wouldn't make it to my hotel for another hour and a half. Ahead of me the sky was starting to look like a terrifying shade of gray and to top it off the dismal weather was becoming more and more hard to drive in. I could barely see the paint on the pavement. My defrosters seemed to have given up on me as I began to notice that my rearview mirror fogged up as though it was twilight hour.

I needed to pull over to try to wait out the heavy rainfall. The only problem was that I did not know where I was nor could I see where the road even had an end. The cheap gas station coffee was starting to wear off and the pep talks could no longer motivate me. The words of encouragement quickly transitioned into self deprecating quips of "I can not fucking do this!"

I was too far from home to turn back now and hearing a lecture from my dad despite being well beyond the ages of even receiving one, certainly would not stop him from scolding at my absence. I am more than certain that fiancée number three would not mind if I missed their prenuptial celebration. Especially if arriving on time meant I would be showing up dismembered. It was official I was going to die in this storm.

All of sudden like I called upon a bad omen my tiny Kia Forte jerked forward. I thought I accidentally stomped on the gas pedal too hard without realizing it. When it happened again I knew exactly what it was. Clearly the driver had mistaken this for a game of bumper cars. I laid the palm of my hand on the center of my steering wheel and relentlessly pressed my horn. Not sure what that was going to necessarily ward off , but I had to try something in the efforts that they would leave me alone.

Cooper's head shot up from his bed in the backseat. He looked just as displeased and annoyed as I felt. Why wouldn't they slow down? Is the question I could not figure out. I don't know if it was all the Stephen King that I read, but my paranoia was increasing as I started to settle on the possibility that they were now following me.

Maybe I was tired?

Maybe my imagination truly was getting the best of me?

Or maybe whoever that person was also suddenly decided to take the same random exit as I was taking.

I didn't think. I veered my car off to the right and got on the first breakaway from this seemingly endless road. I had no idea where I was headed at this point and neither did my Garmin. It made multiple attempts to reroute itself, but even that could not locate where I was. I took an unexpected detour by driving off into the middle of nowhere with a now stalker in my midsts.

Adrenaline now filling up my bloodstream. I gave my steering wheel the death grip and drove as fast as the tire tracks of my car would guide me. On a midsize billboard to my left I saw a logo for a gas station and a non franchised bed & breakfast saying it was right up the road. I was taking a chance by trusting that the establishment was clean and safe. I just needed to go where a crowd of people would be. The battery on my phone was likely dead and yes this was now becoming the opening sequence for a King novel. I'd laugh if my heart wasn't fluttering as fast a hummingbird's wing.

I managed to make out lights ahead as I neared the petrol station first. However, it just about looked abandoned. The dim white lights flickered around the desolate parking lot. I saw only two freight trucks parked side by side and I immediately thought

. . .hell no.

I kept driving forward in the hopes that the bed and breakfast sign wasn't last updated in the early nineties. I nearly combusted from relief when I finally saw it. Several cars and mini vans lined up with people inside of them probably doing the same thing that I was. I didn't plan on staying the night I just planned on staying long enough to hide out from the rain and from the trouble that still followed my trails.

Luckily there were free parking spaces close to the entrance. It was still hard to make out what the place truly looked like. From my view in the car the rain made it look like it was a melting oil painting. In a swift motion I put my car in park, turned my ignition off, reached in the back to grab Cooper and grabbed ahold of my purse in the other arm. I bolted out of my car for the door.

It felt as though I was running through a hurricane. I was completely drenched. I could barely keep my eyes from closing as I ran up the slippery steps in my worn Toms praying that I wouldn't eat concrete. There was an awning over the door that offered relief from the storm's cruel embrace . Looking down at the fuzzy brown welcome mat I noticed a quote was scribbled out on it.

"some beautiful paths

can't be discovered without getting lost."

As I reached for the doorknob I couldn't help but notice the intricate design. I'm aware of how wrong the timing was to fawn over something so utterly mundane. I just could not conceal the fact that I was a sucker for antiques roadshow and architectural designing. Growing up with a dad that built and reconstructed vintage furniture one might pick up on the interest. It was a white privacy doorknob with hand painted roses, with a Victorian long plated silver keyhole. The sound of distant car door slamming snapped me out of my daze. I turned my head in the direction of the sound low and behold it was that same car. Crazy thing is I didn't see anyone by it.

Instinct guided me forward considering my brain was scrambling with worry. I ushered myself inside and it was as though I fell into a pink wonderland. From the pink carpet to the multicolored pink pinstripe wallpaper. Hot pink roses seemed to have been the main theme for the lobby. There were various black and silver picture frames with photos of pink roses hanging on every wall. On every surface my eyes could catch, red and pink plastic roses sat in circular olive green vases. It was certainly....something. I thought I was doing the most logical thing by coming inside, but it quickly dawned on me that I saw no one around.

"Hello?" I cautiously called out.

I paced myself as I walked up to the front desk, simultaneously looking around for any potential red flags. My right arm was going numb, my little guy was tiny but felt like I was lugging around a sack of potatoes. I wandered away from the desk to poke my head around the place. There was a entry way that led to a dinning area with a handful of seats adorned with of course pink table settings. I was standing next to a spiral staircase to what I assumed led to the rooms. There was only one door that held a sign for a bathroom. Perhaps there was a power outlet I could use long enough to charge my phone to call my dad.

The same door I walked in swung open and droplets of rain was blown in by the wind. A shiver rolled down my spine, sending a myriad of sparks that shot through my body. Turning around a strange sensation filled the pits of my stomach. It felt like butterflies and moths had taken up space there. Excitement and fear. I just stood completely mute like I had never seen a man before. Well to my defense I hadn't seen ones that look like him in my town. Without even seeing my reflection I had an inkling as to the state of my appearance. I was utterly perplexed by how he pulled off the kissed by an ocean look. To embarrass myself further of course my dog chose that moment to shake water off of his fur on to me.

"Really Coop?" I tried to hide my disgust, but he got it around the corner of my mouth! The good looking stranger offered a half smile that probably pitied my overall state.

"Is the black Kia parked out yours?" Even his voiced oozed sex appeal. He angled his frame so he could face me. There was about an arm length of distance between us. His eyes practically bore into my face I suppose waiting for me to say something. Must have been the buzzcut, the facial scuff, or the fact that some creep was still parked outside waiting to do who knows what. But my thoughts were not where they should have been.

I blinked and straightened up my posture. "Yeah why?" I finally answered.

It was a causal question, yet it felt completely random like there was something else to it.Neither of us spoke for a few seconds.The silence was so thick it would take a hacksaw to cut through.

"Well I'll be damned! I didn't think I would get to see you until after you got back from your trip in California." A woman most likely in her late sixties came rushing down the stairs for him. She draped her arms around his body clearly taking him by surprise. Her cotton candy colored pink bouffant made up for most of her height. Sebastian returned her embrace. Although it looked extremely awkward considering he stared at me the whole time and I stood there watching.

"Moe's old truck didn't give you too much trouble did it?" She asked.

"No it still got some life left in it." Sebastian's jaw went slack and he looked from her to me once more. Only this time he was looking at me with a cold glare. Realization suddenly crashed into me like a wild horse.

[sebbybooks]

War of Hearts

Sebastian Stan x Fanfiction

"For some reason, the two of us arguing was

like some sick form of foreplay."

c.l

"It is settled. . . I can't ever leave my house again in the daytime!" I say feeling winded as though I've run a marathon without stopping for any sort of break. I pulled my fingers from out between the blinds as I quickly stepped away from the window. Fearing that he would spot me any second if I stood there any longer. I felt a growing sense of dread rise in the pit of my stomach. It started to tangle itself into all sorts of knots while the sense of realization began to kick in. That paired with a chaotic feeling of rage and excitement flowed through my veins causing a web of mixed emotions as I made my way out of the sunroom. I must have manifested him without even knowing what I was even doing. Or maybe the universe was playing some cosmic cruel prank on me? A tiny part of me just accepted the fact that I was simply destined to have unconventional awkward moments for the rest of my adult life.

"I mean what are the odds Leona?" Sonny called out in amazement from inside of the sunroom as she continued to gaze at the horror scene continue to play out while the movers carried more boxes into the house next door.

"Next to fucking impossible!" My voice rose in a nervous pitch. I wandered over to my sofa and purposely fell face forward on to it. Perhaps if I laid there long enough it would swallow me into it? I would have take any given option offered to me at this point if it meant I wouldn't have to come face to face with Sebastian. It wasn't suppose to happen like this or at all for that matter. It's been two months since I've last spoken to him and after our last conversation I knew that was the final nail in the coffin. I was certain that our paths were never going to cross again. If they did that meant I had made a wrong turn somewhere and ended up in hell.

"Don't you think you are being a tad bit dramatic babe?" I could hear it in the cadence of my best friend's voice that she didn't fully understand the severity of my problem. Boredom on top of being drunk off of wine is a powerful combination that will most likely definitely drag you down a dark and twisted rabbit hole. Signing up for a dating app for example and talking to guys I had zero intention of talking to after a twenty four hour period. But, atlas one had to slip through the cracks and make me fall completely apart over him. I turned my head to face Sonny, "He hates me and to be quite honest the feeling is mutual!"

Clearly glossing over what I had just said to her she continued on, "Look on the bright side at least he wasn't a catfish!"

I released a guttural sound into the pillow. "Terrific. I'll shoot Max and Nev an email to tell them to call off the camera crew." I could hear that she was muttering witty comebacks underneath her breath, however my brain simply chose to block them all out.

I was too busy recounting all the endless nights I lost sleep over talking to Sebastian, making plans that would never see the light. The guy completely interrupted my life. There were moments where I caught myself smiling at my phone when I saw his name flash across my screen. My heart felt like it was going to implode and I got high off of that feeling to the point I became addicted. At night it amplified when I would pace my bedroom floor back and forth like a love struck girl anticipating on what Sebastian would say next. I wish I had a time machine, because I would use it to go back and break my phone into a million little pieces. Foolish, gullible, naive are just a few of the words I would use to describe myself for allowing myself to think that just for a moment any of that was real. So the second I start to move on and phase him out of system completely he moves into the house right next to mine. There was no denying that fate was certainly screwing with me.

"You never even gave me all of the dirty details of what exactly happened between you and sexy jeans." She said wistfully, still drinking him in from the where she stood.

I laughed despite myself. I looked to my friend and said, "Because I would rather picture him falling off of a cliff." I broke into a wide grin before slamming my face back down into the couch cushion.

"I don't believe you." She feigned a sigh, "He is flawless." I could hear the heels of her Jimmy Choos clack louder and louder against the floor as she joined in me in the living room.

"He keeps his flaws well hidden." I said, my voice barely audible with it being pressed into a sofa cushion. Cutting off any air circulation.

"One day you liked him then out of the clear blue sky you didn't.The guy told you he wanted to fuck you in front of a mirror to see every inch of you!" She said in amazement.

"No comment." I muttered.

Sonny huffed. "Well you certainly can not hide from him for long."

I pulled myself upright and slouched back on the couch in a more relaxed position. "Watch me." I said with full confidence.

The rest of the day flew on by in a slow pace. The transition in the sky gave away to its tell tale signs that the time was changing. Sonny and I spent our afternoon mindlessly scrolling through high fashion mood boards on Pinterest. Salivating over the vintage couture and places that were way out of our travel budgets as of right now. Together we planned a hypothetical trip to Northern France so that Sonny and I could visit Claude Monet's garden in Giverny.

It opened up a window of conversation for me to go into a spiel about Monet's love for art and botany. Not even for a second could I mask my fascination for art history. Which costed me a Milano cookie getting thrown in my direction, taking it as my cue to stop my blabbering. I couldn't help myself if I wanted to I had a weak spot for the subject. After all I did need a positive distraction so that my brain could cancel out any and all thoughts of Sebastian that crept into my head.

Usually when the mere thought of him invaded my mind it was very difficult to remove him. I was hardly paying any attention to what my friend was talking about for the last two hours. Though frankly I don't believe she noticed. It took the chiming sound of my doorbell to wake me from my trance.

Sonny stretched her arm out to stop me from getting up." Ahh let me get it! It's time for me to go anyway." She bent down and within a few seconds she retrieved her pumps and swiftly put them on her feet.

"I'm not expecting anyone it's probably just a delivery guy. I'm waiting on a package to arrive today." I tried turning my neck like an owl to get a better view out of the window behind me. I didn't see a postal truck or anyone dressed in uniform for that matter, fleeing like they just lit a fire on my steps. I never fully grasped the concept of why a delivery worker sprinted away like they were in a game of tag.

"Did you by any chance order a man?" She asked with humor laced in her voice.

"What?" I asked in utter confusion, seconds went by and she never responded with an actual answer. I called her name again. Still nothing, I focused my hearing and I could make out the sound of two muffled voiced mingling together from my front door. Curiosity driving my actions I quickly hopped up from the couch tiptoeing around the corner with a smirk on my face. Because I was under the guise that Sonny was flirting with the guy delivering my packages. Like a bad sketch from a variety show I was quickly faced with the reality of the joke. Soon as our eyes locked the charming smile he wore on his face dropped as quickly as mine did.

Sonny leaned her back against the door widening it just enough so that we could see each other. "Damn. Well this should be interesting."

[sebbybooks]

Our Vintage Summers(PT3)

Sebastian Stan x Fanfiction

"All I need is to remember

how it was to feel alive."

-Aurora

My eyelids were heavy as I tried to flutter them open. Slowly my vision came back to me as the blurbs of light and shapes began to take on real form. I had to steady my breath careful not to let my nerves takeover because it took me a while to adjust to my surroundings to figure out where I was and how I ended up back in this old bedroom of mine. I stared mindlessly up at the ceiling watching the cracks that formed around the dandelion shaped crystal chandelier that once radiated the most calming ambient light. As I stare at it now I see that it is nothing more than a hideous piece of architecture from my hellish childhood. Memories began to accompany the pain then right on time images of Sebastian fading into nothing flashed through my brain.

I jolted myself forward when realization finally kicked in but my attempt to get of out bed was short lived. I was met with a stabbing pain that shot through my head at full force that made me wince. I squeezed my eyes shut feeling like at any minute I was going to be sick. You would think I took a nasty beating to the skull from how badly it hurt.

I couldn't move the lower half of my body if I wanted to. I was tightly tucked underneath the duvet that I was burning up under. I laid there immobile and in misery. I couldn't call out for anyone all of my energy felt depleted and I was starting to feel dizzy on top of it. The thoughts in my head wouldn't slow down as they danced around taunting me. The only face I wasn't able to escape belonged to the one person that made me feel like I was going completely insane. Hell, maybe I was going a little mad. There was no way what I saw was real. How could I explain seeing a person vanish before my very eyes? The short answer was I couldn't.

Suddenly the door to the bedroom shot opened I was able to lift my head to look to see who had entered. Quickly coming over to the bed I saw out of the corner of my eye it was my sister Anya. The look of concern she wore on her face quickly diminished when she looked down and saw that I was conscious.

"You're awake!" She whispered. Anya's pinched expression was replaced with a toothy smile. "You had us worried sick Sia. Justin just found you face down on the kitchen floor." I could hardly find it in me to speak so I just let out a exasperated sigh in response. She brushed through my hair gently with her hand careful not to press down on my head too hard, brushing my hair away from my face. I was grateful for that because my hair was starting to cling to my skin. It felt like I was getting hotter and hotter by the second I needed a fan or a window to be let open. I feared I might be at risk of passing out again.

"Jesus Sia you are burning up." Anya said finally stating the obvious as she flipped her hand back and forth over my forehead. I used all the energy I had to raise my hand to motion that I needed air. "Let me go get you an ice pack and turn the AC up." She said as she started to turn around to leave.

"Anya." My voice came out like a croak.

"Yeah sis?"

I had to move my tongue around in my mouth a few times to get a bit of moisture flowing. My throat was so incredible hoarse I could hardly understand my own voice. Plus it pained me to even move my jaw in the slightest. I needed to know so I used all that I had to say his name. "Sebastian?"

Her brows furrowed in confusion as she looked back at me like I had a horn coming from the center of my forehead. Thinking she didn't hear me I attempted to utter his name again. This time she reacted as if I was the one confused. "Sia you hit your head pretty hard now you're just saying random names. Maybe Remi was right and we need to call an ambulance."

I began to pull myself up, but again quickly regretted it. "Anya where. . . where did he go?"

Standing in the middle of the doorway. "Where did who go?" I could hear the genuine frustration laced in her tone.

"Sebastian?" I spoke his name like I was unsure of who I was referring to myself.

Defeated she stared back at me with pity and worry in her eyes. "We met a lot of people at grandma's funeral, but we don't know anyone by that name. The only people here with us is Justin, Remi, and Gavin remember? I'm going to give Dr. Thomas a call after all to see if he will come out and look at you just to be sure that you're ok." She huffed out as she pulled her cellphone from her back pocket.

I don't know why but my eyes began to cloud over with tears. "He showed up to the house tonight right as the storm rolled in." Listening to the sound of my own voice it sounded like I had an ugly cold. I could tell she was trying to ignore me. Despite how badly it hurt to talk I kept going. "We met him earlier on the beach Anya, mom introduced him to us. Sebastian told us that he knew our grandmother why aren't you listening to me?" As delusional and pathetic I must've sounded to top it all off I started to sob uncontrollably. It hurt to even puff out a breath of air. Wet hot tears rolled down my face. I was losing it.

"Hello Dr.Thomas this is Anya Foxwood, Nora and Keith's daughter. I am terribly sorry to be disturbing you this late I wouldn't have called if I didn't think it was an emergency." I began to block the sound of my sister as I reclined my tired body back onto the bed.

The rain that continued to pour down from the sky loudly started to pick up and beat against the windowsill. The drumming sound of thunder accompanied it in the background to add to the mix of noises. Teardrops pooled from the corners of my eyes. I was engulfed in an uncomfortable wave of sadness that I myself couldn't even explain. I didn't want to admit it but I swear it felt like my heart was crying out for him. Which was the strangest sensation I didn't even know him! I started to even second guess if he was real. An that all of this was just apart of a cursed day that refused to end.

I sank my body down further into the bed trying to hold on to the last details of Sebastian and I's conversation. I had this gut feeling about him that I had trouble deciphering if was good or bad. Yet, my wild emotions that jumped out in his presence urged me to quell any doubts that I had. Which was an unsafe mindset I found myself trapped in. He was on the verge of telling me something that he so desperately wanted me to know. Then shit went supernatural.

The room fell silent I didn't even notice when Anya stepped away. She closed the door closing off what little air I did receive. It felt like a sauna in here. I could barely catch my breath. I assumed the pain in my head was worsening because it started to feel like I was spinning, despite the fact I was laying completely still. In all honesty at the risk of sounding dramatic I was convinced in this moment I was dying. I've never had a migraine make me feel like my brain was hemorrhaging painfully slow. I wanted to scream out in agony but my throat felt restricted unable to call out for help. I barely could move a muscle and that was the scariest part of it all. I waited for it to get worse so it would finally be over. I had no choice but to accept whatever was to come freeing me from this torment.

Gasping for air at this point I closed my eyes thinking it would help bring me an inkling of comfort to ease my suffering. Almost on an instant my limbs began to feel more relaxed and a sense calmness washed through my body. I could feel rays of sunlight grazing every inch of my skin. Through my closed eyelids the lights grew brighter like I was laying under direct sunlight of some sorts. When I tried turning on my side I felt tiny grains of sand underneath me and that's when my eyelids shot open. Clearly I died or was dreaming. Somehow I ended up back on the beach

As I raised myself from the sand I looked around in confusion as I watched the strangers around me partake in the elements around them. Couples were strolling alongside the water, children were playing in the sand, families were huddled together smiling and laughing. I scanned the area around me all appeared normal, except something was definitely off.

Pushing myself up I had to quickly access my attire it felt like I was nearly naked. I was dressed in a blush pink high waisted polka dot bikini with a swim top that left none to the imagination. It didn't take long for me to pick up on the attention I was attracting. Mothers with their children stared back at me with disdain while their husbands were doing a poor job hiding the fact that they were skeevy. While it was apparent I stuck out like a sore thumb I noticed something about everyone's choice of modest swimwear and style. They all looked like they stepped out of a scene from a Fitzgerald novel.

A loud nervous laugh escaped from me and I quickly clamped my hand across my mouth. I could sense myself starting to panic, clearly I was experiencing a very realistic dream. I felt every sensation like it was happening in real time. Squinting my eyes from the bright sunlight I was slightly terrified to move and explore my new location. What startled me the most was the fact that I recognized exactly where I was. Spinning around on my bare feet in the hot sand the only thing that was familiar to me was seeing that my grandmother's house was still sitting on the sand dune up ahead.

"How in the hell?" I said aloud, my voice trailing off as I tried to screw my head on straight. The Victorian styled beach house was nearly unrecognizable. Its previous cold and uninviting essence on the outside was replaced with a great deal of decadency and warmth. There were no longer old vines that clung to every crevice on the house. Lively blue and violet hydrangeas adorned it instead as they climbed up the structure of the house. The dead shrubbery was replaced with vibrant yellow forsythia plants that lined against the house. On the front lawn children joyfully chased after a rabbit while men and women whose faces I didn't know were scattered across the front of the house engaged in a party. From the looks of it they were having a good time. All the years I've seen that house it never looked more alive.

"HEY LADY WATCH OUT!!" Before I could move fast enough to see who was shouting to get my attention I was taken out by a flying blue frisbee. Thankfully it missed my face but the thick plastic disc went straight to my neck knocking the wind out of me. Doubling over in pain I crouched down trying to stop my uncontrollable coughing attack. I gasped for air right as I noticed two sets of feet quickly pick up that weapon and take off running in a fit of laughter.

"Those little shits are you alright Miss?" By now surely I could recognize that voice which made my heart flip in my chest. I looked up as I brought my hand to massage the area of impact on my neck. "Sia?" Sebastian said my name carefully upon recognition.

I couldn't blink. If I did I was one hundred percent certain he would waste away again. He didn't look like he did when I last saw him in my grandmother's kitchen. Eyeing him I noticed that he was an exact replica of the man I saw in the photo I found. There was a sun kissed tan to him, his hair was shorter and tindruls of curls fell on his forehead. He was even dressed in the same opened buttoned white linen shirt and blue and white swim shorts. The more I noticed that the similarities were exactly the same my knees started to tremble and I was close to falling onto my ass until Sebastian reached out and grabbed me. Slightly tilted off balance he kept his arms arms secured around my waist so that I wouldn't fall down. I gave into my weight trusting that he would hold me steady. I no longer cared to try to rationalize what on earth was happening. I tipped my head back up at him still in utter disbelief , "You remember who I am?"

He looked down at me and I'm sure we mirrored the same shocked expression. "Of course I remember." Sebastian's chest was rising and falling at a fast speed. The grip he had on my frail frame tightened but it wasn't an uncomfortable feeling. He was holding onto me almost as if he was afraid to let go.

His focus never drifted away from my face which caused me to feel bashful underneath his affectionate gaze. For a minute I was concerned that he had gone mute, sensing what I was thinking he positioned me back on my feet backing away to put distance between us. Sebastian looked like he was fighting with himself to come near me again. My hands twitched just to touch any part of him. I was tired of fighting what I couldn't understand.Hiding my disappointment I looked away just long enough to catch my breath stealing a glance of the house once again. "I have been telling myself not to freak out, but I'm starting to fail miserably."

"None of this is going right." His shoulders were tense like he was unable to relax any muscle. It was visible that whatever was bothering him was making him upset. "I'm still trying to make sense myself, but for right now I need you to trust me so we can get you somewhere where she won't be able to find you like this."

.....

(A/N* Hi beautiful creatures! I know it's taken me a while to update this fic, for a minute I was unsure if I wanted to continue writing it. I promise not to take forever to upload the next part! Just an fyi If you had ever asked me to tag you the reason I didn't was only due to the fact it has been such a long time. Therefore I had it in the back of my mind you simply forgot about it (which is fine!). If you want to know when I post the next part just let me know and I'll happily do so! I hope you guys are having a wonderful day or night! If not I promise it'll get better😘)

[sebbybooks]

Hi! I am absolutely loving Our Vintage Summers and I am so excited to read more when you're ready to share it!! I'm wondering if I could be tagged on it for updates. I completely understand if you don't want to. Thank you! 😘

Oh my gosh thank you! I appreciate that and of course I will tag you for when I upload the next part!❤️❤️❤️❤️

[sebbybooks]

Our Vintage Summers (PT2)

Sebastian Stan x Fanfiction

~ She was his one. He was her only. Not even the essence of time could keep them apart.~

He was in my house.

After Sebastian turned down the invitation to come over tonight he showed up hours later right as the storm made its ways towards us. Sebastian was somewhere downstairs talking with my sister, because I could hear her overly enthused laughter fill up the entire house. Anya called for me to join them once more but my legs felt full of heavy metal. I was still clutching onto the picture that rendered me voiceless. Standing at the top of the staircase staring back at it under better lighting the exact year was unclear, but if I had to take a shot in the dark I’d say this was taken around the time a gallon of gas was only a quarter. Despite the couple in the photo sharing our exact features there was no way that they could really be Sebastian and I.

Each step that I took down the stairs felt like I was walking into the eye of the storm and no amount of positive affirmations could calm my shaky nerves. I wasn't sure what I planned on doing once I was face to face with Sebastian again. A thousand thoughts swarmed through my mind with questions on top of questions. In the end none of them had practical explanations or made any sense whatsoever. Considering I found the picture in plain sight surely that meant my grandmother knew about it. I wondered if she wanted me to find it and that's why she left me her house? The one thing that I knew for certain was that Sebastian being here was no coincidence. I mean after all he had dropped into my life with such curious timing.

"Finally! We were going to send a search and rescue party up there if you didn't come back down sooner!" Anya waved me into the living room where everyone was seated. It didn't take me more than two seconds to spot Sebastian. I studied his face like it was the ceiling at the Sistine Chapel hoping to see something remotely different than what was photographed. The only differences I spotted was the clothes and hair. In the picture the man’s hair was shorter and curlier from what I could tell. The Sebastian that was present in my house had much longer hair that was pulled back. His face was clean shaven it showed off all the imperfections that he did not have on the outside. Apart from those two things both guys were identical and it fucking terrified me.

"I went looking for candles." There wasn't an ounce of moisture in my mouth. My throat felt so dry you'd think I swallowed a jar of cotton balls. I took baby steps as I entered into the room feeling like my world was titling on its axis. Remi moved a spot down on the sofa assuming that I was going to join her. The thought of being only a few feet away from Sebastian for some reason halted me in my place. Sebastian was sitting on the edge of a tufted gray ottoman in the center of the room as he shook beads of water from his hair. His clothes were so soaked they practically formed to his body. Just from seeing him for five seconds the tightness in my chest returned with a vengeance. It was as though my own body hummed to life in his presence. I had to steady my breathing if I didn't want to heighten the sensation of having what felt like a premature heart attack.

"And did you find any?" Anya asked.

"What's the point the lights are back on now." I cut her off as I twist in the direction to face my sister who eyed me skeptically.

"I didn't mean to show up like this in the middle of the night unannounced. I seemed to have run into some car trouble trying to get back on the road. This house was the first place within miles." When Sebastian stood up I paid absolutely no mind to the visible formation of his chest through his wet tshirt. The polaroid was still folded in the palm of my hand and when I felt no one was looking I shoved it in my back pocket.

The smile adorning his face slowly began to fade when he realized I hadn't spoken a word to him yet. There was so much that I wanted to ask him. I just didn’t know what was the right thing to say that didn’t make me come across as someone who escaped an insane asylum. We were not friends and we were barely acquaintances. For all I knew I just let in a complete stranger who spoke of my grandmother like she was a darling saint. All I could do was mentally laugh at the thought. I wonder did he even know her at all?

“Well it's a good thing you have been here before and knew the way back.” I briskly left back out of the area not exactly caring that I wasn't acting like myself. At that moment I can honestly can say that not a single fuck was given. It wasn’t like I was going to confront him in the middle of the living room and have five pairs of eyes look at me like a deranged woman. Though by the looks of it I did that on my own already. Hitting me like a wrecking ball all of a sudden a wave of tiredness passed through my body. The idea of getting rest felt like a turn on, and yet there wasn't a chance in hell that I was going to be able to fall asleep tonight. I sensed someone hot on my heels, but I was too lost in thought as I scrummaged around the kitchen cupboards looking for something strong to drink.

I never caught a whiff of alcohol in my grandmother’s possession for as long as I stayed in her care. She probably assumed Anya an I were deviants and couldn’t be trusted to be under the same roof as it. It was a miracle when I located a bottle of Prichard's Tennessee whiskey hidden away above the kitchen shelf. Half of it was already gone it was probably just another thing my grandmother kept to herself. She kept her life tucked away like she was forcibly trying to keep everyone at bay. I just never understood why.

“Mind if I join you?” I spun around immediately almost tripping over my own two feet.

I shielded the bottle underneath my arm looking back at Sebastian like I had just been caught. “I really hate to keep asking you for favors but can I get some ice for my hand?” He held up his wrist and the back of his knuckles were bloodied. His hand looked like he was in a wrestling match with the member in the Fantastic Four, the one known as Thing.

"That looks pretty bad." I say.

He nodded in agreement. "Surprisingly it doesn't hurt right now. I know if I don't put ice on it soon I'll be paying the price in the morning." Sebastian's mouth set in a discontented line.

I removed the whisky from my hold placing it on top of the kitchen island. My back was turned away from him as I paced around the kitchen getting the stuff he needed for his hand. I could feel his eyes watching my every movement and it didn’t help knowing that there was a photo burning a hole in my back pocket. “Do I even want to know what happened?” I asked absentmindedly.

“It’s kind of a long and complex story.” He tells me.

The bitter tone in Sebastian’s voice made me wonder if the torn flesh on his skin was accidental or intentional? All I knew was that it was a can of worms I did not want to open considering I was already trying to make sense of seeing my face in a completely different time period. My hands were busy putting ice cubes in a cloth that I found in a random drawer. I tied it in a knot at the end before handing it off to Sebastian. "Then why don't you just skip to the ending?"

A strangled laugh erupts from his throat. "That's the problem. . . there isn't one." He leaned forward on the counter that separated us and for a brief moment I sensed that he wanted to say more but chose differently. It was almost like he was fighting with himself about what was going on in his head. Perhaps he was telling the truth about leaving Nantucket he had changed out of his clothes from the beach. Sebastian's sleeves were bunched up his arm near his elbows, and there was no denying that this guy went to the gym.

"Wait!" I blurted. Acting on instinct I lunged forward taking back the ice rag I had just given Sebastian. He looked at me confused and I don't blame him for it. "I really think you should clean that first to prevent an infection." I wasn't sure why I cared so much it was no skin off my back if he didn't take my advice. Despite my better judgement the hushed voices in my head kept pushing me and pushing me to keep him close.

"Sia it's really not that bad." Sebastian looked down at his battered hand assessing the damage himself.

"Don't say I didn't warn you when a nasty bacteria festers on your hand." I say nonchalantly all the while hoping he changes his mind. Sebastian scrubs his hand over his jaw while looking at me with wonder.

"Isn't that little extreme don't you think?"

"Suit yourself then." I shrug.

I placed the ice rag back on the counter for him to get. I grabbed the whisky bottle by the neck and headed over to the cupboard to get a drinking glass. Before I walked away to leave out of the kitchen Sebastian responds. "Ok fine you're right." He lets out a little sigh finally caving in.

It was a small victory I'm not quite sure why I was so elated that I won. My emotions were constantly flip flopping in his presence I was having a hard time keeping up with myself. In my head I alternate the decision of showing him the picture now or wait for the right moment. The problem was there wasn't a right moment and it wasn't like he was going to stay in this kitchen forever.

"Let me go get a first aid kit." I tap my fingers on the countertop, wondering to myself what on earth was I doing? I purposely avoided going into the living room because if it's one thing that I knew about my big sister it was that she had a talent for smelling out bullhsit. I couldn't even lie to her as a kid. It wasn't a skill I could easily master and keeping secrets from her practically duals as lying in my book.

Despite me not being in this house for more than a decade my feet guided me through the house on muscle memory. I was headed for the guest bathroom on the first floor. It was the only bathroom Anya and I were allowed to use despite there was at least two bathrooms on every floor. As I thought to myself I started to take notice that this placed hadn't looked lived in for years. So I could only assume that the medicine cabinets were bare. The bathroom door was closed and a dim light shinned from underneath.

I heard a voice coming from behind the door so I stood quiet next to it long enough to hear that it belonged to Anya. Her voiced sounded muffled as though she was purposely trying to talk in a hush tone. The conversation sounded one sided because I could only hear her voice. "What am I suppose to do mom? She's suppose to remember by now that's what you said."

Silence followed after that and I could hear my sister stomping her feet against the tiled floor. I thought about knocking on the door to see what had gotten her so upset, because I didn't like that I was ease dropping. However, what she said next stopped me.

"I checked everywhere mother!" Anya exclaimed out of frustration before resuming to a lowered tone again. "She didn't leave anything behind. What if you were wrong and this time is different?" There was a beat of silence again and all I could hear was faint sniffling. From the sound of it Anya had been crying.

I counted to five in my head before I started to knock on the door. Anya began wrapping up the call with our mom. The water from the sink started to run then within a minute Anya had the door open with a fake smile on her face.

"Sia! Heeey!" Her voice drawled out as she ran her hand through her wavy black hair that was a stark contrast from my own. My hair started to gray at the ripe young age of sixteen. When I noticed that it was changing at a rapid pace and I couldn't keep up with dying my roots. I eventually said fuck it and died it a silvery gray. It took some getting use to but the look eventually grew on me.

"What are you doing down here? Don't you have some new furniture you want to sit on?" Anya's mischievous smile grew big, while trying to make her voice sound as casual as possible. As per usual I caught the sense that this was her way of trying to deflect on the conversation she had with our mother. It was hard trying to decode what the hush whispering was about. I knew if I brought up what I overheard Anya would finesse her way out of telling me the truth like always.

"Are you talking about Sebastian?"I asked, feigning stupid.

She frowned looking completely annoyed at my inept ability to posses a dirty mindset like her own. "Of course I'm talking about Sebastian! I'm sorry did you not see the way he was devouring you with his eyes just a few minutes ago?"

I couldn't control the laughter that came out of my mouth. "Devouring me with his eyes?" I repeated. "Have you found yourself in mom's stash of Nora Roberts books again?"

"No need." She said before hesitating, "I have them downloaded on my kindle smart ass."

When I tried stepping around her to get into the bathroom she blocked me from going inside. Positioning herself in the center of the door, while out stretching her arms so that I wouldn't surpass her.

I cocked a brow. "Do you mind? I need to get some things out of here." Considering our height difference wasn't on an even playing field I wasn't in the mood to tackle my sister. I just wanted to get the items that I needed and go back to the kitchen.

"I'm just going to say it. I think you should sell the damn place." She came out and said not missing a single beat.

"Anya I haven't even signed my name on the deed yet. Beside this property has been in our family for generations doesn't that mean something to you in the slightest?" I asked her. Instead of giving me a more practical response Anya dropped her arm in surrender. "No it does not."

We stood eye to eye with lingering silence between us until she caved and sauntered down the hall huffing like a child once again. Instead of chasing her down and asking her where the hell that random question came from all of a sudden. I shelved it next to the other unanswered questions I had gnawing on my brain. I quickly scavenged around the bathroom for what I needed. All I found was antiseptic ointment that barely made its expiration date and with luck gauze. When I went back into the kitchen Sebastian was sitting on top of a counter with his back against a wall. His lips were wrapped around the bottle of whiskey as he downed it like it was water, and he was a man dying of thirst.

"Your chest must burn by now ." I said in amusement as I placed the stuff I procured next to him. "And who said I was sharing that?" I pointed to the bottle in his hands.

He smiled and flicked his eyes to his drink before bringing it back to his mouth. I don't understand why but my mind seems to turn into putty when he stares at me like he sees every intimate little detail about me. Which is strange because I've only see him twice, yet ever since that moment on the beach I haven’t been able to stop thinking about him. I'm pretty sure I might have manifested his car breaking down only for him to return.

"Considering that it's mine may have something to do with it." He swept his tongue across his bottom lip, making sure to savor every last drop. The raspy tone in his voice alone could kill me.

"So you're admitting to drinking on the job then?" I cleared my throat while I unraveled the gauze. I wanted to focus on the task at hand, because being only a few inches apart was becoming harder than I thought.

"It was from your grandmother. It was a here you might want to drink this first kind of gift." He leaned his back against the cabinets and our eye contact was immediately broken.

"Oh." I said unsure of what he meant by that. It was hard trying to envision the version of my grandmother he knew. This coming from the same woman who told me not to chew gum around her, because it made me look like a cow chewing cud. I found it a bit unbelievable that there was a benevolent and even considerate side to her.

"May I?" I asked, gesturing towards his hand. My heart was thudding rapidly against my chest like I had never laid eyes on a man before. I was fighting with the primal instinct to sink my teeth into him. At least Anya would be proud to know that the apple didn't fall too far from the tree.

Without even waiting for permission I gently lifted his hand while I ran it under the sink. During the first half I worked in an awkward silence. Getting lost in my thoughts I kept replaying moments that took place in the day that seems like it would never come to an end. I thought about the fact that my grandmother was gone and she was never coming back. An after the rocky history I had with her of all the people she could have picked she chose me to be the one to get this house. It didn't make sense to me whatsoever and to top it off her unlikely friendship with Sebastian was even more puzzling to my mind. Something just didn't add up to me.

"I'm starting to sense that you're not a talkative person." Sebastian says before he takes another swig of whiskey.

Still looking down I paid attention to my handiwork as I lightly dabbed his hand with antiseptic ointment. "Actually I'm a very talkative person. I just don't know you that well."

"Fair enough." I didn't have to look up to see he was inhaling his drink like a fish at this point. I wondered if Sebastian was using the alcohol to mask his own grief. I may not have understood his relationship with my grandmother but he lost her too I suppose.

Reaching up I decided to take the bottle out of his hands. "You could at least leave some for me." I brought it up to my mouth feeling the liquid fire smoothly glide down my throat. Sebastian holds my stare like before but this time I was the first to break. It was like we were playing some unspoken game of cat and mouse. It was an unnecessary tease that cultivated out of thin air.

Sebastian wets his lips. "Can I confess something to you Sia?" For a second my heart stopped. All the air going to my lungs felt trapped at the thought that Sebastian knew about the photo as well.

"That depends." I huffed out an elongated sigh. Instead of answering his question I responded with one of my own."Are you going to tell me what happened to your hand first?" I carefully watched as his chest rises and falls. He pins me with a hopeless expression as he searches my face like it was an antidote for his misery. I finish wrapping up his injury, but he doesn't lift his hand from mine. A tortuous heat sweeps over my skin that moves to my very core.

If it were anyone else I'd remove it in a heartbeat. That was the thing though, as crazy as it may have sounded he wasn't anyone else. In my head I sounded like every cliche under the sun but deep down I knew I wasn't wrong. I stared at our semi joint hands, feeling frightened and confused by how a simple touch from Sebastian felt like I had finally reached the end of my crushingly long journey of searching for someone I thought I dreamt up.

Glee, sadness, and pain overwhelming crashed through me all at once. It felt as though my soul was crying from being set free after being caged up for so long. Somehow I had managed to unlock so many emotions, but nothing as much a memory accompanied it. Almost like it was solely a phantom feeling. My body ached for the missing part of me that was no longer there.

"My car is perfectly fine." Sebastian looks deeply into my eyes and not even for a second does it silence the madness in my head. As quickly as I felt it the sensation suddenly was lost. I edged my hand away from him causing his hand to lose support.

My jaw goes rigid and my lips twitch. "I really hope you have a decent explanation as to why you lied to me or I'll have no problem calling the cops." I snap.

Sebastian stiffens. "Sia before you freak out on me let me at least say one thing first." He lifts himself off of the counter in one fluid motion. I slowly back away from him feeling that ounce of whiskey I consumed sour on my stomach while fearing the absolute worse.

"You have less than ten seconds before I start fucking screaming." I threatened. I felt insanely stupid, I knew there was more than meets the eye with him. Good or bad I was too trusting of those feelings I had from earlier that derived from the land of make believe. I saw and felt what I wanted to.

Sebastian tries to approach me, but I hold up my hands to stop him. "I'm not trying to scare you." Looking back at his pleading expression it wavers from disgust to tenderness. I want to believe him, but that is how I fell for his trap in the first place.

"Five seconds." I grit out. Ignoring any of my warnings he takes steps towards me and I'm frozen in place. Sebastian draws in a deep breath, and as he opens his mouth to speak the most insane thing happens before my very eyes. I swear I might have imagined it. One second he was real and standing right in front of me the next I watched as he faded away. Then as if on cue I saw blackness as I felt my body sink to the ground.

Tagged for Updates🐚:

@faithhasnowords @infinityflamesworld

*A/N* Hi lovelies! I hope you all are staying safe at home💕

[sebbybooks]

Omg I LOVED! Vintage summers you have to do part 2!! 💕

Thank you!💘I plan on writing another part!☺️

[sebbybooks]

Our Vintage Summers

Sebastian Stan x Fanfiction

"Damn me to hell

or take me to heaven,

but for God's sake do it now."

-n.r

~come back to me.~

Bare feet tucked away in the sand as my head tilted north of the Atlantic Ocean, I soaked up the warmth from the sunlight as it kissed me all over my face. My eyes were closed as I breathed in the evocative scent of the near sea breeze. I attentively listened to the soft symphony of waves crash back down in a rhythmic pattern. The salty crisp air permeated under my nose filling my bloodstream with great sorrow. It felt as though I was longing to be taken back to a good memory. Despite the island of Nantucket being a piece of my childhood for some unknown reason those memories felt like just an illusion. Almost as if it was only a fever dream.

"I can not believe Nana Florence left that huge ass estate all to you." My older sister Anya gaped. The disbelief echoed in her voiced woke me from my own state of disorient. Opening my eyes I slipped on a pair of shades and adverted my gaze away from the sun and looked out at the lighthouse in the distant. There wasn't a cloud in the sky, but still I knew a storm was brewing out there.

"I wasn't quite sure she even liked me. She was always so cold." I answered, still shocked by what I had just been given.

"She was a mean old bitch Sia. You can say it." Swallowing back her glass of bottle cream soda, Anya paused and stared off like she was trying to spot something that she had lost. "Besides it's not like she's gonna come out and haunt us. . . that would require her to care." Her tone was laced with sadness whether she would admit to it or not.

What feels like nearly a lifetime ago our parents would send us away to stay with our grandmother while they coasted around the globe every summer existing as if their children did not. Anya and I were left spending two months with a grandmother who acted as though we were unwanted guest who had to earn their keep. My older sister by just two years whose outspoken personality got her into more trouble than I care to even remember. Whereas I was always the meekly grandchild petrified of stepping out of line. What I got in return when she looked at me was annoyance like I was a stone in her shoe.

I couldn't do anything right in her eyes despite my efforts. That woman had an air about herself that exuded an unexplainable amount of bitterness I never even knew where it stemmed from. When it was finally time to return home I prayed and gave thanks to whoever was listening for freeing me from that house. Which is why I found it to be a complete and utter mind fuck that she left it all to me.

"I'm just surprised she actually wrote any of us in her will after not hearing from her in nearly fifteen years." Anya quickly jumped to her feet waving one arm in the arm in the air until the people she was flagging down finally caught ahold of her attention. Leading the way was her husband Gavin, and twins Remi and Justin who we have known since coming here as teens. Squealing and jumping into his arms like she hadn't seen her husband in months. Anya wrapped herself around Gavin and I had to turn my eyes away from their borderline pornographic kiss.

Plopping down next to me on the beach towel that was just about covered in sand was Remi. The Nguyen's use to own the beach home next door to my grandmother's and long ago I was thankful for their presence. For years Justin and Remi were the only bit of solace Anya and I had during those summers. Granted Anya had to teach me how to sneak out of the house I was always terrible at it every time. I threw all caution to the wind, because I would've done any an everything to get out that soulless house. There was something about it that made chills creep up my spine whenever I stepped through the door. To make it even creepier I'm pretty sure on one Fourth of July I could have sworn I saw her looking out of her window as the four us raced to get down to the beach.

"So I see after three years of marriage the honeymoon phase has not quite ended." Remi's glossy short black hair blew around her face before cascading back down in a stylish slanted bob. She was sitting so close to me I was smelling the fragrant scent of sweet mirabelle plums and jasmine. After knowing her for thirteen years I was starting to think it was just Remi's natural scent. At least one thing didn't change.

"I'm not sure if it's cute or sickening." When I looked back over at them Gavin had a death grip on Anya's ass.

"Are they always so..." Remi cocked her head to the side peering up at the two of them like she was viewing an anomaly.

"Clingy?" I chimed in.

Remi shook her head in disagreement. "Horny?" There was a moment of silence while we contemplated over the two of them before suddenly breaking out into a fit of laughter.

"Why don't you guys do us all a favor and get a room before you're arrested for public indecency." Justin said what we all were thinking as he fished a drink out from the cooler, and sat across from Remi and I in the sand. Finishing off his can of beer in one go, Justin peered into my eyes as he downed every last drop. I wasn't blind or immune to his good looks. His chiseled jaw and athletes body could make anyone swoon. There was alway this unspoken attraction that we shared ever since we were younger. It all sort of just went downhill the morning after my birthday during my very last summer spent in Nantucket. I remember it well, because it was the day I gave him my virginity while at the same time he wanted to give me his heart. At the time on paper he was the perfect guy. Smart, funny, loyal, Justin could charm his way through a nunnery if he wanted to. So in the end why the hell did I turn him down?

Tossing the crushed up can back into the mini cooler buried in the sand. I noticed the warm smile that reaches Justin's chestnut brown eyes transform into a triumphant smirk. I was busted. I pressed my sunglasses closer to my eyes somehow thinking it would shield me from my embarrassment. I was at least grateful that our friendship stood the test of time. Throughout the years he always described me as being a bolt of lightning. An untamable force of nature that was strikingly beautiful to the naked eye, but if I let someone close enough to touch me I'd leave them scorched and in pieces. The only reason I never took it as an insult because the answer was simple. . . he was right.

After two failed long term relationships I was starting to sense a pattern at my own creation. The men I dated always loved me more that I could love them. It wasn't like I was opposed to romance, happiness and the other sappy shit that follows.

Eventually it all just boiled down to my inability to love them as much as they loved me. I couldn't fully give myself over to my exes because I knew deep down they weren't him. Now I didn't know who this guy was. A figment of my imagination maybe? All that I knew about him was that he clearly only existed in the back of my mind. There was a voice in my head guiding me along the way telling me to just wait and the one I was waiting on will be there. I couldn't explain this feeling to anyone else even if I tried.

Sliding down from Gavin like he was a pole Anya pulled on his arm as she sauntered closer to the rest of us. "I mean we could considering little sis has eight unoccupied bedrooms behind us." Gavin boasted.

"Your wife's grandmother just passed away and you're already talking about having sex in the house she died in?" Justin's eyebrows bunched in confusion.

"She didn't die in the house man." He muses. Gavin's smile was wide and unbothered. He was pretty as he was clueless.

"What are you planning to do with it?" Remi asked me, though her primary focus was giving all her love and attention to my four year old Dalmatian Memphis.

I let out a puff of air because I honestly didn't know what to do with the place. It was a beautiful three story classic Victorian styled beach house built in 1883 that faced the ocean with a perfect view of the lighthouse. On the outside the seventy five hundred square foot architecture was absolutely stunning. It looked as though it was a tiny gray castle with a white wrap around deck on every level. You could see so much from the viewpoint . By the way it was positioned you could barely be spotted.

"Earth to Sia!" Anya called out. "Are you alright? You have been zoning out so much today?" She added. She was standing in front of me bending so low I worried her investments would topple out of her tank top.

"Yeah I'm fine. It's just been a long week that's all." I answered. It wasn't exactly a lie, with everything that has happened with our grandmother these past couples of weeks flew by in a blink of an eye. It was weird knowing that she wasn't somewhere in the house making sure there wasn't dust or fun anywhere. At her funeral I don't even recall seeing a single tear fall from anyone's face not even my mother's. Everything was so touch and go. Was I weird for being the only who felt a tinge of sadness?

Clapping her hands ecstatically Anya swiftly resumed to her cheerful spirits. Her empathy towards me lasted about ten seconds. "Right!" Putting her hands on her hips my five foot four sister stood in the middle of us. "Movie night starts at six on the dot."

Snapping my head up so fast I'm pretty sure I pulled a muscle in my neck. "What?"

Rolling her eyes before sporting her former cheerleader grin. "Movie night like old times." She spoke like it was an obvious suggestion.

"That use happened at our house." Justin corrected.

She snorts. "Your point?"

"Won't that be weird?" Remi's eyed bounced from person to person. When no one said anything she asked, "Isn't her stuff still in the house?"

"Quit trying to force the fun out of it! It's not like the five of us are ever all together anymore." Anya addresses the group. "The years here were shitty and the only good memories I have were spent with you guys. For old times sake just say yes."Without another word she plopped back down sulking like a child.

For a moment we all just stared off into different directions lost in thought. We might have not been as close like when we were younger but I knew her well enough to know she was hurting. Like how the old saying goes people grieve in different ways and acting as though she was fine was perhaps her way of handling it.

"As long as it's not Dirty Dancing. You ruined that movie by making us watch it a hundred times." I released a fortifying breath, before plastering a smile on my face for my sister's sake. Immediately I saw the features of her face soften as she grew excited once more.

"Woah let's not get too hasty. I for one can not turn down the chance of watching the late great Patrick Swazye woo me through the screen." Remi supplies.

Stretching forward Justin says, "I don't know about being wooed, but you can count me in." He nods his head in Anya's direction while giving all his attention to me.The butterflies that tried to form in my stomach quickly disintegrated then were reborn as moths. I knew it. There was something officially wrong with me.

"I'm not going to lie Johnny was a handsome man. If I was Baby I'd risk it too." In true Gavin fashion he spouts out the most unexpected remarks.

More chatter erupts and from practice I have learned to tune it all out. Just when I did I noticed up ahead my mother was engaged in conversation with a man I had never seen before. I don’t know why I was so transfixed by his appearance. From the distance I could barely make out his face, but still there was something so familiar about him. I couldn’t look away once I became aware of his presence. It was a strange emotion to have over someone that I’d never met before. I inhaled sharply, my brain started feel fuzzy, and there was a chaotic sensation moving around in stomach. It began to make its way up spreading all over me practically paralyzing my entire body.

Believing he sensed me gawking at the two of them I was jolted out of my daze. Both of their attention turned towards me as they made their way down the beach. It was like a burst charge of fireworks slamming against chest. I was barely breathing from anticipation and excitement wrapped into one. The accelerated rhythm of my heartbeat drummed so fast, you’d swear I was high off recreational drugs. I had never felt like this before or maybe I have and just forgotten the rush.

My mother who was slightly a few steps ahead of the guy marched through the sand like fire was on her ass. “Girls!” She hollered, even though we were just a few feet away. Anya immediately stopped talking meeting our mother halfway. I swear those two were peas in a pod. They matched the same energy, shared the same mannerisms, hell they looked so much alike you’d think I was adopted.

“Hello hello hello !” Mother rushingly greeted everyone. “Can I grab ahold of everyone’s attention for a quick second?” She began clutching onto her pearls and I mean that in literal sense. My mother wore those particular string of pearls whenever she was in Nantucket. I don’t know why but it became a thing of hers. Usually when she began to toy with it profusely meant something was eating at her mind. Though maybe this time I was overthinking it. After all the only reason any of us were in this forsaken place was simply due to the fact her mother insisted the reading of her will and testament be held here. “I’d like to introduce you all to this fine young gentleman.”

“You got that right.” Anya eyed him like he was sex and food rolled into one. Something you want and something you can’t live without. Flirting was second nature to her. She couldn’t help herself if she tried, even though her husband was sitting right beside her.

My mother turned her attention narrowing her eyes on my older sister as if we were back at the age where her penetrating scowl could evoke obedience. Doing her impression of a fake laugh she returned her focus on the man in the Ralph Lauren beach fit. "This is Sebastian." Mother cleared her throat before continuing. "Your grandmother requested that he join us today. It has come to my attention that Sebastian was a cherished friend of my mother."

"What in the hell did you guys talk about?" Gavin's attempt of comedy was met with silence. A bewildered Anya spoke first. "How did you meet my Nana Florence?" My sister asked what I'm sure we all thought to ourselves.

Sebastian hesitated almost unsure of his unspoken words. "I mostly just helped with the renovations with her house and did what I could when she needed assistance with stuff. I apologize for not being here earlier. By the looks of traffic everyone was leaving town when I was coming in." His eyes found mine and I stared back with a blank expression like I was hooked onto every syllable that he spoke. I quickly looked away and toyed with the loose thread on my denim shorts so I would not come off as someone with a staring problem.

"Even though I'm late I would like to offer my deep condolences. She was an incredible woman who I know will be greatly missed." He continued, at least someone was finally sounding sincere.

My mother let out a laugh that came at such inappropriate timing. "Indeed." Her smile dimmed. I'm sure her mind was racing with the question of how long it would take to get a glass of wine in her hands. Apart from the background noise coming from the beachgoers there was still awkward silence that came on. Out of nowhere Memphis jolts up besides me and I was worried something bit him. Before I could get to my feet to check on my dog I see that he rushes over to Sebastian.

Sebastian drops to his knees and embraces an excitable Memphis as though they've just reunited from being apart. I stare at the sight unable to wrap my head around the scene. Don't get me wrong he was a loving and sweet dog, but he didn't take too well to strangers. Ever. He licked and jumped all around Sebastian I thought he was going to knock the wind out of the poor guy.

"I'm sorry about him." I pulled Memphis off of him hooking his leash to his collar. I angled my body so that I was in front of him.

"No worries." Sebastian says as he wipes the front of his pants with his hands. "I'm only sorry I had my mouth open during that last part." His faced scrunched in a playful manner and I had to send little memos to brain reminding myself to breath.

"He will try to french kiss you in a heartbeat." I stated. "The gentle giant will wash your face in saliva if you let him." Good grief what was I saying.

Sebastian laughs, our gaze holding an eerie sense of familiarity. Even if years were to have gone on by there's no way possible I could forget those pair of eyes. "I have to remember that for next time." Even the sound of his voice sounded as though I have heard it a million times. A favorite song you remember the melody to by heart but for some unfathomable reason can't conjure the lyrics as hard as you try to remember.

"Have we met before?" I bounced from one leg to another trying to adjust my feet to the burning sand. "I just can't help but wonder if I have seen you before." I weakly explained. I stared into his eyes looking for some indication that I wasn't going senile so soon at my age.

"Yeah in her dreams." Anya mumble loud enough for all to hear.

Sebastian stilled for a moment. "Sia right?" Sebastian asked clearly ignoring my sister's comment. I nodded my head yes. "I recognize your face from the all the photos from this album your grandma showed me of you." He pinned me under his unwavering stare and the heat that I felt was no longer from the sand as I felt it in places it didn't touch.

I quickly lost my smile for two reasons. One reason being that I was more than surprised she even uttered my name around strangers and not just pretended I didn't exist altogether. She was not the boasting type of grandparent that bragged on her grandchildren. Now that I think of it she never even complimented me on anything ever. Secondly, why in the everliving hell would she show Sebastian photos of us?

"Puberty wasn't exactly kind to me growing up. So I can only imagine the pictures she could've shown you." I swallowed hard. I was starting to inwardly cringe at the thought of him seeing my most awkward stages of me during my youth.

"I am going to have to disagree with you." Sebastian said quietly as he leaned towards me. In my head I rehearsed what to say next but the ability to actually make sound felt impossible. Filling in the silence between us Sebastian finally answered my questioned.

"Other than that no I don't believe ours paths have ever crossed before today." He blinked once and a slow smile formed on his face before saying, "Which I now realize was a terrible existence I was living." Sebastian cocked his head to the side, looking at me with a curious expression.

A weird tiny laugh fluttered out of my mouth almost like how burps come up. This wasn't me. I didn't fawn over men that turned me into a lovesick puppy, and yet low and behold there I was metaphorically shitting my pants at the sight of him. It had suddenly dawned on me that my group of friends had been silently watching us the whole time and that my mother somehow managed to disappear. I turned around to face them and all but one person stared back at Sebastian and I with mischievous grins. Justin however eyed Sebastian with visible disdain.

"Hey Sebastian you should totally stop by the house later today and taste my sister's cupcakes." My eyes bulged at Anya's bold innuendo. If my eyes could throw daggers she would be dead in an instant. Clearly seeing the look of mortification painting my face she quickly tried to backtrack. "You see Sia is a pastry chef and her vanilla butter cream cupcakes are practically little clouds of heaven." She choked back a fit of giggles.

I was afraid to turn my head to look at Sebastian. I just hoped his face didn't mirror my horrified expression. Blocking Anya out of view quick on her feet Remi stood to my side. "It's a silly tradition we have which newcomers are welcomed to. We just gorge out on food while watching Anya approved films." Remi said to him. I was still one hundred percent embarrassed but very much grateful for Remi.

"Then the dicks to chicks ratio will finally be even." Gavin added eagerly. I rolled my eyes as I shook my head. I started to say something but Sebastian beat me to it.

"I can't." For some reason when he spoke it sounded like the scratching sound a record player makes when it abruptly stops. The question of "why" was floating in the air. His answer oddly made me feel disappointed which I'm sure he could tell.

"It's just that I wanted to leave out before the weather could get a chance to trap me in." Aha! So I wasn't the only one who could sense the calm before the storm.

Out of nowhere finally speaking up Justin rose out from the sand. "Maybe next time." His hint of sarcasm did not go unnoticed. I wasn't sure why Justin was giving off douchebag behavior it certainly wasn't like him. Sebastian eyes went from me to Justin then back to me again. Sensing no threat by the way I was doing my best to shift further away from Justin, Sebastian bent back down to get on Memphis's seeing level.

Stuffing his hand in his pocket he pulled out a piece of parchment paper. Opening it up he broke a golden brown cookie in half before offering it to Memphis. Inhaling it in one bite, Sebastian quickly stood back up petting him on the head one last time. "He was only after the cookie in my pocket." Sebastian said to me. I wasn't sure why it felt like an ominous statement but it did.

"It was nice meeting you all." Before he turned away he looked over his shoulder at my grandmother's house that sat up on the hill. I watched him walk away and a piercing pain squeezed at my heart. I brought my hand up to my chest to massage the area that caused me actual pain. Whatever the hell was happening I could begin to feel it. Like a part of me was missing and I just now realized it.

"Well he was weird." Gavin blew out a whistle.

Later that night I tried to ignore that sensation that crept up on me. I baked to my hearts desire and even that couldn't silence the reoccurring voice in my head urging me to not let it go. To not forget him. Everyone came back over to the house as planned. I tried to coexist alongside them, pretending that I was fine. For the most part it worked. I didn't see my mother again after she vanished from the beach. I called both of my parents asking them if they knew anything else about the man from earlier. No one could supply any bit of information that I could use. The only thing my mother did mention was that her lawyer confirmed that she had written Sebastian a letter and that was all he could disclose.

Anya somehow managed to squeeze in more than one movie to everyone's dismay. Not only did we have to endure Dirty Dancing, but we had to sit through Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights. We all sullenly agreed to one more before calling it a night and then on perfect cue suddenly a loud crack of thunder roared throughout the night. Before we knew it the power went out. Loud pelts of rain fell on top of the roof like bullets. The sounds omitting from the ocean sounded terrifying. Turning on our flashlights from our phones we were all gathered in the adjacent room from the dining area.

"You all know what this means right?" Gavin's face hardened. He stalked backwards on his heels as he backed into the flatscreen. The white light from his phone created a shadow around his face. "Say it!" Anya's voice came out like a nervous screech. Gavin nodded his head profusely, placing his hand on his hip his face adopted a disappointment expression. "I no longer have to endure that Cooper guy's singing."

From what I could make out in the dark Anya's face scrunched up in anger. Prodding a finger to his chest. "I thought you were going to say something serious."

"I just did!" He retorted. Just when I was convinced that I was going to have to break up a meaningless argument loud pounding came from the other side of the front door. All of our heads whipped towards the archway that led you to the entrance of the house. Instinctively Justin and Gavin exchanged a look before stepping in front of the rest of us. Anya poked her way between them running to the door before anyone could stop her. Gavin was on her tale calling after her, while Justin and Remi followed. Whoever it could've been was more than likely a neighbor or a beach straggler. Figuring they had a handle on whoever was at the door I went off on the pursuit of light.

Considering the fact that my grandmother hated candles as much as Frankenstein's monster hated fire I knew there was a huge chance I wasn't going to find anything. I walked up the stairs using a dim light that barely guided my steps. The house had always seemed familiar. Yet quiet and alarming all in the same breath.

I spotted for signs of significant changes that Sebastian could have made at my grandmother's request. Nothing looked remotely different. In fact the place looked older and shabbier than before. The black and gold foliage patterned wallpaper peeled around the corners of the wall. Cobwebs took up the ceiling and the hallway reeked of old books and soddened leaves. The cherrywood hardwood floor creaked beneath my feet as I took very slow and cautious step. I don't know why but the door at the end of the hallway called to me first.

There was not much that I remembered about this house. I wasn't quite sure what I was even going to see once I opened it. Unshakable nerves ripped through me as I pushed in the door. My heartbeat suddenly steadied when I saw that the room was nothing out of the ordinary. I shook my head at the silly thoughts I cultivated in my mind. I use to be afraid of this place and I suppose old habits die hard.

It felt like a scene in Harry Potter film as I stood in middle of the doorway holding up my small light from my phone in the center of the darkness. I angled my phone around the room looking for storage bins that could contain anything useful. The bedroom looked like it has been not lived in for quite some time. The bed looked sunken in and if I were to sit on it I'm pretty sure dust would form around me. Not much of anything was in sight apart from the dresser and a full length wooden mirror that leaned against the wall.

The only thing hanging in the small closet were white plastic hangers and linen sheets on the top shelf. Closing the door to the closet I released my pent up sigh because there was absolutely nothing of use in the room. I was ready for this night to be over so that I could return back to my version of normalcy that was miles and miles from here. Turning around accidentally bumping into the mirror. Rushing to catch it from falling over I nearly tripped over my feet trying to hold the heavy thing up. Feeling very out of shape I headed for the door when I saw that a piece of folded paper had fallen onto the floor. Turning the light back on my phone to see better I bent down to retrieve it. It was a crumpled up old photograph.

When I opened it immediately their faces nearly knocked the air right out of my lungs. I stared at it in disbelief trying to wrap my head around the imagery. It was fucking impossible that what I was seeing was real. The photo looked dated like it might have been taken many decades ago. As it fell from my hands and I stepped away from it like it was lethal. A humming sound passed through the house and suddenly the lights flickered back on.

"Sia!" Anya yelled my name from downstairs. I was too stunned to answer her. "Get your butt back down here! Sebastian is here!" As clear as day I heard what my sister was saying, but that photo held me captive.

The ink was faded but I knew that place far too well. The lighthouse in the picture was unmissable. It was the people inside the picture that threw me for a loop. Standing in the sand on the beach with a beagle wrapped in the woman's arms, she was embraced in a kiss with a man who looked like it could have very well been Sebastian. An from what I could see of the woman’s face it looked identical to mine.