sephfire

[sephfire]

[sephfire]

[sephfire]

Hi,

I hope you're doing fine

Sleeping in a sunny spot on a wooden floor in front of a window with birds to watch

I miss you <3

[sephfire]

Why doesn't it hurt more???

It should hurt more... I NEED it to hurt more!

[sephfire]

Got 2 assignments due in a few days... barely any time to work on them... barely started.... they are essential... I am screwed but I also cannot focus for the life of me.....

[sephfire]

Have two papers due in two weeks for uni Of course, now is the time to fall into another health anxiety episode

[sephfire]

At this point, the only thing stopping me from killing myself is wanting to see the community movie...

[sephfire]

My brain is rotting...

I can no longer think

[sephfire]

[sephfire]

I hate my fucking body

I hate how it looks like from every angle

I hate how fucking fat I am

I hate my side profile

I hate this body so fucking much

Please can someone get me out of this

[sephfire]

Hey! Sorry it's been a while since we've talked! I've been meaning to reach out, but I'm hopelessly overwhelmed and have nothing to say! Hope you're doing well! I probably won't respond again for several months!

[sephfire]

For several years throughout High School, I was told to just hold on and push through, every time I complained or voiced how exhausted I was. "You only have 3/2/1 year left, don't waste your future. Finish this and then it's over". Just to be told after graduation to pick between either Uni or working. I originally planned to do nothing for a year, yk, focus on my mental health and relearn to be passionate abt my hobbies. And the funny thing is, every time I said I didn't know what I wanted to study ppl told me not to stress and worry, cause there's still plenty of time. And then suddenly they expected me to know it, as if I wasn't told basically a week earlier to not stress. And when I seem to not have an interest in any of the things ppl suggested, they got annoyed.... Now I'm in my second semester in Uni, have three exams next week, have not studied for any yet bc I am so severely exhausted/burned out/depressed. And I just hate this. I am so tired.... Uni is highschool all over again... sitting in class not really caring nor paying attention cause who the fuck can actually focus for 90 min straight... just to get home exhausted and needing to do a shit ton of stuff and homework and stress abt grades and shit...

bro, I AM TIRED

I NEED A FUCKING BREAK

I have 2 different law classes this semester 2 seminars that both require a final paper 1 class that was way too high effort for the credits we'll get 1 class that was unbearably boring to sit in and that also requires too much effort 1 class that is pretty chill, but the homework is help,l and also was horrible for my social anxiety 1 class that was maths

I AM TIRED

THREE exams next week THREE

one of which i am not allowed to fail bc otherwise I have to retake the class and do all the homework all over again....

The other two are law

I AM EXHAUSTED

pls I don't wanna do this anymore

I am too busy trying not to kill myself to do all this mandatory shit.........

i need a break

[sephfire]

Shit health anxiety is kicking in.

This random pain stresses me so much...

Am I dying? What the fuck is going on....

What if I have some illness

Fuck

[sephfire]

The fucking pain won't stoppp

[sephfire]

WHY DO ALL MY JOINTS HURT???

for days now for weeks my joints ALL OF MY JOINTS are hurting

like those horrible growing pains I had as a kid, except I'm no longer growing...

Even my fucking fingers hurt....

I sit -> it hurts I walk -> it hurts I lie down -> it hurts I do anything and nothing -> it hurtssss

My wrists, ankles, fingers, shoulders, knees and toes ALL hurt like hell It's not bad enough that I can't walk or anything, but bad enough that I actually consider this pain and not just an uncomfortable feeling

WHY?????

I miss being painless (... or at least less in pain than whatever the heck is going on right now)

[sephfire]

I felt this in my bones... it hurt 😆😅

[sephfire]