severemindweather

[severemindweather]

12/04/2021

Hey... so its been a minute. 

My life has honestly been a wild roller coaster, whose hasn't, right? Since that last post, I never moved out of state with that friend. We barely even speak anymore. Not out of spite or anything, we just drifted apart, which honestly, I’m thankful for. She always seemed to suck all of the energy out of me and I really don’t think she ever bothered to learn a thing about me. 

There was another friend of mine, who I met in college, that talked about moving in together. We rekindled our friendship after we graduated. We were both left in poor living situations. Both of us were stuck with our grandparents, unemployed due to COVID-19 and quarantine, and just trying to adjust to being back in a hometown that was still stuck in the social norms of the 50′s. We started hiking together and then going to the gym consistently. It was so nice having that support. As our friendship became more solidified, we talked about becoming roommates! We met a few times to fill out apartment applications and it all seemed so promising. Then one night she hit me with the second thoughts phone call. So we gave it some time, but then a few days later she told me she had started talking to her ex again and I knew it was a done deal. After that, her life became all about her ex and I was once again on my own. While I do feel disappointed by the situation, I don’t hold it against her. I hope she is happy and safe. 

As for my current living situation, I did it. I’m still in the same state, not far from where I grew up, but I have my own apartment. My OWN space. A home. I can  come back here at the end of the day and be me and not be afraid to do that or ashamed. I can play my music, dress how I want, eat how I want, and just be. My living room has a 70′s vibe to it, which I love. I have an alter!  I’m still working on my bedroom, but I want the vibe to be green, nature, and serenity. I have been here for almost a year. I am so thankful for my space. I feel like I am still learning how to utilize it. I’m still learning to break out of old coping/ surviving patterns. I have learned a lot about myself in this time too. I am still not fully healed from past traumas, nor will I ever be, but now I have healthier ways of coping and handling anything new that may come my way. I no longer have time for people that do not have time for me. That has been my biggest lesson. I am my biggest support system right now. I need to do things and be around the people that have my best interests in mind. I am no longer going to silence myself for others to take and use my energy. I am still a work in progress, but I am getting there. So much has happened in a year and a half and I cannot wait to tell you more.

Be kind to yourself. Things take time.  

[severemindweather]

05/08/2020

Today my friend and I started looking into apartments to rent. I really want this to work out. I just graduated college with a BS in Psychology. It is time for me to move on and live out of state. Going through this process will be something completely new for both of us, so if anyone has any tips on moving out on your own for the first time and to a new state, please let me know! Any advice or tips would be appreciated! Also, what the fuck are student loans and why didn’t the school help me prepare more?!