soulless-obsession

[soulless-obsession]

💔hostage💔

Held captive

Held hostage, bleeding and crying

A mess on the floor

She knows shes not safe

Not anymore.

Inside of her head used to be safe now it's only a place of fear where dreams go to crash and stay in one place.

A dump a mess her once creative mind

All torn up from what's eating her inside.

The beautiful smile that always lit the room was no where to be found,

Her mind racing as she lay on the ground

She doesn't want to be here, she doesn't want to live

I mean what is she suposoed to do when she feels there's nothing more she can give.

eyes glistening in the light, no one there to hold her tight.

She begs she pleads

No one understands what she needs

Just a hug from a friend will do

Or just a simple I love you.

What to do, she has no clue

She lays amd dreams of a world only she knew.

A world where she was happy,

Just as before.

Before her happiness walked out the door.

She doesn't know, doesn't understand

Why can't someone just reach out their hand

Help me she cries, tears In her eyes.

But who would hear.

Who would care.

She knows shes done for.

She knows this is it.

But you don't know her.

And this is not it.

This isn't over. She's knows this deep down.

For the happiness she lost

Can still be found.

Her fight isn't over, it's only begun

She's still happy, just needs to have fun

She's on her way to find her one.

Her reason her purpose.

Her love, her life.

Her one reason to fight.

To wake up and smile

To be happy again.

She's almost there.

Just needed a friend

A little help, a little push.

To help her see

She could be happy again

-HM

[soulless-obsession]

💔 sickening truth 💔

Cries, lies

Truth hurts don't it

No more,

can't take a minute of it

Done all I can't think to do

What else is left of me and you

Oh oh oh

The silence screams at me to run away

But tell me that'll you'll stay

the night.

Oh oh oh

Voices in my head

You in my bed tonight.

Heads hurt,

Up all night before

Clothes still on the floor

Damnn

You're here

But now you gotta go

But I think that you should know

Oh oh oh

Pleaseee

Don't run, don't hide.

Love is not game

Not a game to play tonight.

Cards out on the table

Please don't leave even tho you're able

Don't throw me away don't say

That I'm not what you want anymore.

Don't close that door.

Don't leave tonight.

I'm not giving this up without a fight

Oh oh oh

The silence screams at me to run away

But tell me that'll you'll stay

the night.

Oh oh oh

Voices in head

You in my bed tonight.

-HM

[soulless-obsession]

💔why not me💔

Please don't leave me,

no matter how bad you want too

Don't go,

Even though you say we're through

Don't tell me all the work,

All we did, all we put in

Was for nothing

Just tell me something,

Something other than goodbye

Other than you're sorry,

Or you don't want too.

So don't, don't go

You tell me

" that's not how that works "

Fuck that

Of course it's how it works

It's all about your choice right?

So fucking chose

But chose me.

-HM

[soulless-obsession]

💔 it's okay 💔

If you have to leave than leave.

If I can't satisfy your needs

If all I do,

If all I did

Just fell right to our feet

All my effort all my trying

Has only left me crying

While you go and be with other people

What's happening isn't fair

You act like you care

If you wanted me Forever

You'd do the right things and we'd be better

But maybe I'm not your forever

And maybe you don't want things to get better

Maybe this is the end of our journey

But it's okay, don't worry.

Because I will always love you

Even though my heart will forever be black and blue

You will still have me

I will still need you

I wish you could say you need me too.

All times we've spent together

Were the best moments I've ever had

So maybe all the lies and hurting wasn't all that bad.

If I had to hurt to find you

And i have to hurt to lose you

Maybe there is nothing more I can do.

Im sorry I'm not good enough

Though you say i am

Everything I've done for you

Sweetheart I've always been here

Maybe you'll come to realize maybe even next year

All the plans we made I still hope for

Made one day some sence will come knock on your door

Then maybe we can be once more.

Maybe one day you will see

See the life with me that could be.

My heart is broken

But my whole body hurts too

Every where your fingers grazed my skin feels like a mental bruise.

My effort, my trying

Isn't good for anything

When yours for me was dying

I cry, I scream, punch a few walls.

I'd fucking kill you for making me feels this way,

If I had the balls.

The fact that I'd forgive you

Really says a lot.

You don't deserve my forgiveness.

But one day it'll be all you've got.

You'll come back to me

One day you will see.

I'm the best thing that ever happened to you.

And you just threw it away.

On that day.

What i should do is spit in your face and tell you leave

But what I am going to do.

And take you back, and help you.

Make sure you are okay,

Make sure you get better.

Because no matter what

Anything, whatever,

I'll always love you.

No matter how bad you hurt me.

Because this is love eternally.

My love for you isn't just now, nor will fade

I will still love you this much even after everything you've done to me.

Which really says a lot as well.

I feel right now as though I'm walking through hell.

The fire burns all my body

And scorches all my skin.

But if this is what you want

I can't fight for us anymore when it's not what you need.

So baby, I love you

And

Nobody wins.

-HM

[soulless-obsession]

💔💔

All the lies come out

The truth is told.

Better while we're young and not when were old.

You deserve to live

To be free and fly.

If that's really truly what you want.

I'm sad to say this must be goodbye.

I'll never not think of you

I'll never not love you

I'll never not miss you.

For even though you don't want me anymore

I'm not ready to walk out the door

Im not ready to throw away everything we've made

I'm sorry I can't satisfy your needs anymore.

I'm sorry I can't do that for you

I'm sorry that you feel it's time for soemthing new

But hey, I'll always love you

-HM

[soulless-obsession]

💔OnceCalledHome💔

If i could find a way to forget i would but every little thing reminds me of what used to be, what happened to me? I changed. I grew and you shrank. We looked at our love and decided our fate. Everything crashing around us all day. I found it hard to say i was okay. Waiting for the better days. But you changed the ways I thought. Every lie that i bought. Every single little thing when you gave me the ring i believed you. You said you loved me i thought you were being true. To me. But no. You're only true to yourself. I thought i could help. I thought maybe you could find you within myself. I thought we were it, I thought it and that was it. But you changed. You shrank and i grew and everything we thought to be true was a lie and i tell you goodbye after I fell and I cried so many nights over you. My eyes are dry. I have no tears to spare you tonight. I gave up on your love, decided it wasn't my fight. I don't wanna fight anymore. I turn my back and walk out the door. Im tired of being used, tried of being treated like this my heart's been beaten and battered and bruised. Just like the rest of me. But only what you can't see. Because if it was visible everybody would know and how would that go? not good for you so why would you do- it . I don't miss you, not one little bit. It hurts to say but i know I'll be okay when I say I can't stay and know that im through nothing is new. So this is my goodbye to you. Forever. I know that things'll get better. For me. All i can be, all that i am is the person i became the person who hid because of the shame. You made me scared, you terrified me. I can't believe I managed to walk out and leave. I didn't think i could do it. But i did.

-HM

[soulless-obsession]

💔Games💔

I'm stuck in a place, stuck in a mindset where we were together and that's what made me better

But it's not. We were far from perfect, neither of us deserved it. We loved and we lost and we tried and we failed.

We gave it our all, i gave it my all, you stopped trying as hard thats when we started to fall.

We broke apart,

We crashed, we burned.

Things didn't get better they started to turn, worse.

Things got worse.

Screw wanting to cry i wanted to die,

I was tired of playing these games, tired of tired of hearing the names

Names of the girls you wanted over me,

I was too stupid to see.

See that it wasn't me,

Not anymore.

I want to walk out the door

Every time I try I hit the fucking floor.

I can't take it anymore.

I give up.

I'm done drinking from your cup.

Your actions fill me with sadness, fill my with hatred towards you. If only you knew.

If only you saw what we had before you, only saw you.

This is my cry, my final goodbye.

I'm tired of not being the one you want.

The memories still haunt.

My sleep, my dreams, my days.

I can't think of any ways.

No ways to make leaving you easy.

Though I know you don't need me.

But that's not true, see i need you.

We need us.

After your lust.

For only when your done,

Can we again be one.

But yea I love you asshole.

-HM

[soulless-obsession]

Wildfire💔

It starts out beautiful, you never think it could amount to any harm, it ends in disaster

It's pretty much an accidental wild fire.

The touch of the flames on the branches warm them

The branches if only knowing the destruction yet to come

Feels so calming yet so terrible.

So bad, yet so inevitable

Cry's from the tops of the trees see the future upon the horizon

Crumbling down

Dust and Ash

Covering the ground

When those trees fell

No one heard a sound.

-HM

[soulless-obsession]

Life Long Love

Day 1 was as easy as can be. Love at first sight. Most beautifully, the love came natrually.

As time went on the love only grew. Their love knew no means, for their love was theirs and theirs to keep.

Bigger and bigger untill their love was out and free.

Out in the world with open eyes.

Time passed by in the blink of an eye. And with that time the love passed too.

Better or worse, no more.

For her heart began to beat to the rythem of a different song. His heart had not changed, nothing for him had changed. He still loved her. He still hoped one day their song would play again in her heart. But till then. He must sit by and watch her love another.

-HM

[soulless-obsession]

A smile hides the pain, a laugh holds the lie. Come one, come all. Watch as we die.

-HM

[soulless-obsession]

Anything.

The quiet is deadly, but

The silence is sweet.

The noise is too much

It knocks me off my feet.

Laughter is loud, but

the cries are so quiet.

You accsue her of being in pain,

and all she does is deny it.

Smiles to your face,

Talks behind your back.

Cries in bed, because

It's all an act.

All she ever does is lie now,

All you wanna do is say goodbye now.

You know she lies, you knows she's in pain.

From knowing that, what do you gain?

Nothing.

~HM

[soulless-obsession]

Yours

I surrender my heart to you. I surrender my time, I am yours. 

I surrender my love to you. I surrender my mind which, never stops running circles around you.

I surrender my future to you. I’d rather be completely alone all my life; then ever be without you.

I surrender everything I have,  everything thing I am.  I surrender to you.

-HM

[soulless-obsession]

All Along

The day she learned she could fly,

she stood in the window, 

and she jumped. 

She didn’t fall,

as she had hoped, 

but flew.

As she flew,

tears streamed down from her eyes,

not because she was sad but because she never knew.

She never knew, 

she could fly all along.

-HM

[soulless-obsession]

The Ending

Ever so slowly closing her eyes,

Wrapped in a blanket of everyone's lies

But outside, just out her window

They were digging her grave little did she know,

Smiling, laughing, looking at the peace

No one knew she was far from ease

Laughing and talking while her back was turned

All her happiness slowly burned,

From the inside out she rotted away

Ever so slowly she began to decay,

Her smile leaving, her laugh slowly dying,

No one saw on the inside she was crying

As tears filled her eyes, thoughts filled her head,

She began to see, she was better off dead

As she closed her eyes tightly the thoughts grew bigger,

She opened her eyes, took a deep breath,

And slowly pulled the trigger

-HM

[soulless-obsession]

Sad but True.

The life she lived was quiet. She mainly kept to herself and she was happy with it being that way. Then people started finding out her secret. She had liked girls for as long as she could remember. She grew up with her parents encouraging her to be herself and telling her that being herself was okay, that it was good. But people started making fun of her, and calling her names. She began to transition from being a very happy person to a very sad person. A great amount of time passed before she gave people another chance, but eventually she did. In giving people another chance she fell in love with a girl who was sad, but not as sad as she. She loved this girl and this girl loved her. When she was around the girl she seemed happy, like she had a long time ago. Around the other girl she felt safe and as though nothing could harm her, nothing but herself. Deep down she wasn’t okay, and no one knew that. She kept it hidden like a secret, a terrible,terrible secret. No one knew how sad she was until the day she had said goodbye and didn’t come back.

I miss you babygirl. Fly High

[soulless-obsession]

Lost Battle

The battle was brutal,

leaving her in defeat.

Her demons had won,

with her crawling at their feet.

Though the battle was all inside her head,

the demons convinced her she was better off dead.

 With her silent screams and many tears,

she was forced to alone, face all her fears.

Not one person heard her silent cries,

as the unknowingly said their last

Goodbyes

-HM

[soulless-obsession]

Dear You,

Do you miss me,

Yes of course

Because I miss you.

Dear You,

How are you,

I’m doing pretty well

I’ve been thinking about you.

Dear You,

Are you okay,

I’m perfectly fine

I’m not.

Dear You,

Does it still hurt,

Yes and no

It kills me.

Dear You,

How is it where you are,

It’s pretty weird

Things are so different.

Dear You,

Do you still love me,

Yes of course

I never stopped loving you.

Dear You,

Did you mean it when you said Goodbye,

Not at the time

I didn’t mean it like this.

Dear Y...

Please don’t stop trying

 I have tried so many times to write to you but I never know how to start it, how to continue it, how to finish it. I never know because I shouldn’t have to be writing a Goodbye letter to my best friend. Maybe I can’t write a Goodbye letter because i’m not supposed to because this isn’t Goodbye, because I will see you again. Because this is not the end.  

-HM