spencereidlovesshoes

[spencereidlovesshoes]

hiya i really love your posts, maybe because you haven’t written anything yet. it is my honor to be your first request.

i’m begging you for a spencerreid x pilot!fem!bimbo!plussize!colorblind!vampire!reader

please do it quickly i will be dying soon i’m 84!!!!!!

OMG I love that!! this idea lives rent free in my mind now thank you you old bitch.

15,6 words.

A/N: im a nice person.

AIRPLANE LOVR

"Wheels up in 5!" says Agent Hotchner, but you don’t hear it because you’re on the toilet. Thousands of alerts bombed Y/N’s phone. Penelope was sending her them. She always hated her.

It seems they are going to Thit Island to investigate a murder of a dog. Y/N was really stressed out, because of the team’s behaviour. They are known for their shitty behaviour on board. They commonly unbuckle their seatbelts, walk around the plane, cuddle together and worst of all, they tend to come to Y/N’s cabin and cover her eyes. They think they are funny but there is a high possibility that the plane might crash because of that.

Y/N really despises the members of the team. Especially JJ. Her long blond hair got caught in the engine once and she had to pull her out whilst still piloting the plane. Don’t ask her how she did that.

The only one she didn’t hate was Spencer. His hair could get caught anywhere and she would gladly save him. She watched him through the security cameras when she didn’t feel like paying attention to the road. She especially liked watching him sleep. He was so cute and he didn’t even know about her. Why would he be with someone as a stupid as this pilot!fem!bimbo!plussize!colorblind!vampire!reader?

The team was lined up next to the plane and Y/N was installing the stairs to the plane. No one helped her. In that moment JJ said: "What is she doing here? Who is she? Where am I? Who am I?"

The team seemed to ignore all of her questions. "She is our pilot, don’t you recognise her?" Spencer said. He was the only one who was not a complete asshole to Y/N. "Ok, just do not get close to Spencer," said JJ looking directly into Y/N’s eyes. "JJ, she saved your life last time, don’t you remember?" "I could have done it myself," said JJ and stormed to sit on the plane.

Everything went well and until Morgan sneaked into her cabin and covered her eyes. Y/N yelped and tried to get his hands off of her. He held her head so tightly she started to feel dizzy. Morgan laughed and said "relax babygirl, I just need you to turn the plane around, we found out that Thit Island is on the other side of the globe."

WTF? Y/N thought. I do everything for this team and especially for Spencer. I pay for the gas and they just tell me that we have been going in the wrong direction? I’m not gonna be able to pay the bill this month, I don’t even have a job! I just snuck to the toilet every time and tie up the real pilot. And that is the problem. I don’t know how to turn the plane around. I always just fly in some direction and hope for the best.

"Hello? You seem lost in your thoughts," Morgan said. "OK, just buckle up and hold tight," Y/N said with determination in her eyes. She didn’t even wait for Morgan to sit down and buckle his seatbelt, she just turned the plane upside down.

"I didn’t mean it literally!" Morgan screamed as he hit his head on the ceiling of the plane. Y/N heard mortified screams of the rest of the team. It was like music to her ears. Yes! Spencer thought. She finally stood up to her bullies. He might have broken a leg or two and had a concussion because he was sitting in JJs lap.

They flew their whole flight upside down and Y/N found some random island in Europe to land on. Everyone got out of the plane, excited to see some dead bodies and investigate mysteries, except Spencer, he went to check on Y/N.

"Hey Y/N, are you alright?" Y/N seemed devastated, she was tired from all the blood flowing to her head. "I’m OK, I just have a long night waiting for me. I have to get comfy on this plane." "What do you mean?" Spencer said and a worry wrinkle appeared on his forehead.

"I didn’t pay for any hotel. I don’t have any money left, I spent everything on gas for this trip that took way longer than I anticipated. We are lucky that we survived! We don’t have much gas left. Can you steal some if you see some cars on your way out?"

Spencer looked at her in disbelief. This poor thing was poor. "OK Y/N, let me sing you a lullaby to help you sleep." Y/N was thrilled. She was sure she would not be able to fall asleep next to singing Spencer. She loved him too much for that.

"URURURURURURURURURURURUR" Spencer sang in his soft voice while Y/N slowly fell to the dreamland...

[spencereidlovesshoes]

I'm gonna fucking punch you - Spencer Reid, 2011

[spencereidlovesshoes]

genuine question

hello our dearest fans!!!!!

as much as it hurts to admit, after our abduction our capability to create brilliant stories about our beloved many times deceased Spencer has come to shit.

so please glaze us or give us some helpful ideas to write about.

we will be forever grateful and pay you back in our next lives.

yours,

M&V

[spencereidlovesshoes]

maybe dont tagg odd stuff in x reader who cares if you think he stinks or not

you mean hot stuff??????

[spencereidlovesshoes]

quick blurb Spencer Reid X shifter

A/N: this is a quick blurp.

spencer reid X shifter!shitter!Y/N

DISCLAIMER: mentions of shit

Spencer was home. Finally. Phew.

He sat in his overused beat up and musty armchair. He reached for his book which he planned to read in the upcoming 10 seconds. When suddenly.. He heared some ethernal sounds from his bedroom.

He went to investigate cause he was just like that. So adventurous. Some angel had to be protecting him cause he was accidentaly sitting on his gun and it became stuck in his bumcheeks. Spencer almost fell to his bum. Because he was just like that. So clumsy. But this time, he had a valid reason for his incompetence.

What he saw was the weirdest thing he ever saw. A fucking woman. She just spawned next to his bed. It happened so quickly and the only thing that announced Y/N's arrival was a *eugh* roblox sound effect. (He would later found out that it was because she scripted that by accident)

He was stunned. And shocked. Maybe even shitted himself a little. And with that wind that came out of his ass the gun became unstuck and fell to the ground.

He came to his senses quickly and grabed it. Did not hesitate. He aimed at Y/N because she was an intruder right!!! (She should have scripted that he knew her and maybe don't appear out of the blue in his flat) He pulled the trigger and a bullet came out.

Y/N suddenly had a hole in her nose. It was a big nose to be fair. The room is covered in blood. They are just standing there and staring at each other. Y/N had to break the silence.

"I wanted to get my nose pierced anyway."

[spencereidlovesshoes]

guys lets be real... spencer reid would really stink in real life.. #stinkypie

[spencereidlovesshoes]

It's our 1 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

hi guys.... we are back!!!!!!!!!!!!§§§§

so basically what happened was that we were kidnapped!!!! by aliens.

they felt threatened by our literary capabilities and needed to stop us.

burt we are stronger than ever!!!! we killed all aliens so now its safe to say we are alone in the whole universe. you can thank us later. so thanks.

what kept us sane was the thought of you guys and our beloved spencer reid. mostly spencer.

we are so sorry for our long break but we will make it (2 years longer)

of course we will still take requests if they are good enough.

[spencereidlovesshoes]

dafug

is that spencer???????

is this a death threat??!!

[spencereidlovesshoes]

Matthew Grey Gublers lovely feet!!!!! captured by me

i live in his walls

[spencereidlovesshoes]

Bald!SpencerReid x Bold!Reader Headcanons

A/N: please dont get us canceled, we have 1 bald friend and many bald enemies...

Its so sad, but Spencer does not only have problems with schizophrenia, but also with his receding hairline.

He went trough all of the stages of balding and grief.

Morgan tried to console him as a fellow baldie, but Spener kicked him in his bald head, ran away, and never showed up for work again.

His shiny bald head attracted many wild animals, but no bitches

but thats fine he already had one at home

you.

At first you were fucking terrified. You had to go the bathroom to take a breather every once in a while when you were staring at him for too long.

you always reassured him that you would stay with him no matter the state of his hairline.

You even gave him a cute nickname, Baldie.

He thought frequently about visiting Turkey for a hair transplantation, but he didnt have the budget since leaving his work.

But you were so bold, that you decided to stay with him and fight till the end.

One evening you wanted to make Spencer happy, so you watched Star Trek with him.

But you didnt think it through. Something terrible happened...

Chewbacca appeard on the screen.

Spencer started to cry hysterically

You wanted to comfort your dear boyfriend.

So you took your window cleaner and a cloth and started to wipe his head in circular motions.

Suddenly, you felt a few remaining strands of hair fall out. Probably due to the cleaning product you used.

You panicked.

You decided to drink the last drops of the window cleaner.

You died in excruciating pain.

[spencereidlovesshoes]

Spencer Reid x ASMR!reader headcanons

A/N: trigger warning don’t reid if your depresso espresso

you have a huge collections of slimes and other asmr thingis

you make the slime yourself with no glue and no borax

you are a magician

sometimes you think spencer only dates you to get your recipe for this slime

but he loves you i guess

probably

you only have about 15 subscribers so its very awkward

one time you and spencer had a fight because he kept steeling your proprieties

he was eating the slime in secret

please give us likes

you were sick of fighting so you killed yourself

[spencereidlovesshoes]

I didn't beat her. I just pushed her out of bed.

- O.J. Simpson

[spencereidlovesshoes]

OMG SPENCER REID IS SO HOT I CANT I WISH HE WAS REAL

[spencereidlovesshoes]

Spencer Reid x Boxer!reader Headcanons

A/N:

You met in a hospital

Spencer was there because he was shot and you suffered from a very aggressive diarrhea

After three weeks there you were so bored you just sneaked into others patients rooms and observed them for unspecified periods of time

One time you stumbled into Spencers room

You were stunned. You had to go talk to him

At first he was a little bit scared because you smelled, but he was also amazed by your muscular arms. He knew he would never had those

Because he was a profiler - a great one actually, he knew you were probably a boxer, once he realised that he felt so safe.

It didn't matter to him that you were a shitty boxer.

After that you guys started to talk to each other often even after you left the hospital.

You realised pretty soon that you loved him.

His hair reminded you of Jesus. But that wasnt so special, you thought everybody looked like Jesus since you had a concusion mixed with that poopy thingy. That wasnt a good combo

You started dating and Spencer begged Aaron Hotchner on his knees that you could be his personal bodyguard. He succeeded

You traveled with him everywhere. Even to the bathroom. Most of the time you were the one using it.

Spencer felt really safe with you on the cases. He knew he was built like a life sized pipe cleaner.

But it wasn’t always just shits and giggles...

You had to really fight for his life sometimes, especially when he was being hit on by some girls

this was not exactly part of your contract but Aaron.

It really pissed you off when people weren’t paying attention to Spencers rambles and they were mean to him

The final straw was when Seaver aka JJ from Temu, the girl who wasn’t in the team for even a month, told Spencer she was sorry for asking when he rambled about some stupid ass thing like Doctor Whoa

You didn’t care you were on the plane, you just beat the shit out of her. She was bleeding a lot.

Suddenly the pilot came out of her cock pit and yelled at you: "WTF? I don’t know how to ride this thing."

Spencer loved you even more after you showed everyone who’s the man in your relationship

[spencereidlovesshoes]

hiya i really love your posts, maybe because you haven’t written anything yet. it is my honor to be your first request.

i’m begging you for a spencerreid x pilot!fem!bimbo!plussize!colorblind!vampire!reader

please do it quickly i will be dying soon i’m 84!!!!!!

OMG I love that!! this idea lives rent free in my mind now thank you you old bitch.

15,6 words.

A/N: im a nice person.

AIRPLANE LOVR

"Wheels up in 5!" says Agent Hotchner, but you don’t hear it because you’re on the toilet. Thousands of alerts bombed Y/N’s phone. Penelope was sending her them. She always hated her.

It seems they are going to Thit Island to investigate a murder of a dog. Y/N was really stressed out, because of the team’s behaviour. They are known for their shitty behaviour on board. They commonly unbuckle their seatbelts, walk around the plane, cuddle together and worst of all, they tend to come to Y/N’s cabin and cover her eyes. They think they are funny but there is a high possibility that the plane might crash because of that.

Y/N really despises the members of the team. Especially JJ. Her long blond hair got caught in the engine once and she had to pull her out whilst still piloting the plane. Don’t ask her how she did that.

The only one she didn’t hate was Spencer. His hair could get caught anywhere and she would gladly save him. She watched him through the security cameras when she didn’t feel like paying attention to the road. She especially liked watching him sleep. He was so cute and he didn’t even know about her. Why would he be with someone as a stupid as this pilot!fem!bimbo!plussize!colorblind!vampire!reader?

The team was lined up next to the plane and Y/N was installing the stairs to the plane. No one helped her. In that moment JJ said: "What is she doing here? Who is she? Where am I? Who am I?"

The team seemed to ignore all of her questions. "She is our pilot, don’t you recognise her?" Spencer said. He was the only one who was not a complete asshole to Y/N. "Ok, just do not get close to Spencer," said JJ looking directly into Y/N’s eyes. "JJ, she saved your life last time, don’t you remember?" "I could have done it myself," said JJ and stormed to sit on the plane.

Everything went well and until Morgan sneaked into her cabin and covered her eyes. Y/N yelped and tried to get his hands off of her. He held her head so tightly she started to feel dizzy. Morgan laughed and said "relax babygirl, I just need you to turn the plane around, we found out that Thit Island is on the other side of the globe."

WTF? Y/N thought. I do everything for this team and especially for Spencer. I pay for the gas and they just tell me that we have been going in the wrong direction? I’m not gonna be able to pay the bill this month, I don’t even have a job! I just snuck to the toilet every time and tie up the real pilot. And that is the problem. I don’t know how to turn the plane around. I always just fly in some direction and hope for the best.

"Hello? You seem lost in your thoughts," Morgan said. "OK, just buckle up and hold tight," Y/N said with determination in her eyes. She didn’t even wait for Morgan to sit down and buckle his seatbelt, she just turned the plane upside down.

"I didn’t mean it literally!" Morgan screamed as he hit his head on the ceiling of the plane. Y/N heard mortified screams of the rest of the team. It was like music to her ears. Yes! Spencer thought. She finally stood up to her bullies. He might have broken a leg or two and had a concussion because he was sitting in JJs lap.

They flew their whole flight upside down and Y/N found some random island in Europe to land on. Everyone got out of the plane, excited to see some dead bodies and investigate mysteries, except Spencer, he went to check on Y/N.

"Hey Y/N, are you alright?" Y/N seemed devastated, she was tired from all the blood flowing to her head. "I’m OK, I just have a long night waiting for me. I have to get comfy on this plane." "What do you mean?" Spencer said and a worry wrinkle appeared on his forehead.

"I didn’t pay for any hotel. I don’t have any money left, I spent everything on gas for this trip that took way longer than I anticipated. We are lucky that we survived! We don’t have much gas left. Can you steal some if you see some cars on your way out?"

Spencer looked at her in disbelief. This poor thing was poor. "OK Y/N, let me sing you a lullaby to help you sleep." Y/N was thrilled. She was sure she would not be able to fall asleep next to singing Spencer. She loved him too much for that.

"URURURURURURURURURURURUR" Spencer sang in his soft voice while Y/N slowly fell to the dreamland...

[spencereidlovesshoes]

huu

test post ignore pls