stillcaffeinated - Tumblr blog

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EVERYDAY 

ctto

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Sana

May isang taong pipiliin ka hanggang dulo kahit hindi mo hilingin.

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I JUST WANT TO SAY, PUTANGINA.

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"Sorry" won't fix us this time.

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Sa sobrang gaan, masakit.

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when u wanna cry but u can't because they'll ask why.

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11:11 palayain niyo ako sa relasyong ito dahil hindi ko na kayang kumawala

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Wala na akong karapatan magtampo kasi hindi na ako sinusuyo.

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Natatakot ako na dumating yung time na hindi na ako masaya at nagstay na lang ako kasi mahal kita.

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You said you can't understand me. But darling, you don't have to. You just need to be there.

But you aren't.

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Are you somewhere feeling lonely even though he's right beside you?

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Hindi porke ako yung bigger person, hindi na ako nasasaktan.

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This would probably my last day on this school. We had a bunch of rants. We usually joke about resigning bec the environment was toxic. But deep inside, I never wanted to leave this school bec I want to see my students graduate. Pero I never had the chance kasi hindi kami nagkaroon ng grad ceremony.

Buti na lang merong tong dalawang to na naging sandalan ko. These two are the best!

Flash back!

I never wanted to teach bec I was too shy and introverted. When I was young, I never wanted to talk in front nor recite whenever I know the answer. Last minute, I decided to take the job. I want to challenge myself and I want to overcome my fear

Hindi ko akalaing mapapamahal ako sa mga studyante ko, sa ginagawa ko. I want to cry bec I know hindi ko nagawa yung best ko. Fck my insecurities.

Ang hirap din maging independent kasi akala nila, kaya mo lagi. I don't know where to start again. Naging hate ko tong school na to because of what it did sa mental health ko. But I am grateful for this school made me strong, made me dream more, made me want to help more. I am still grateful na natupad ang isa sa mga pangarap ko, ang magturo at iovercome ang fear ko.

I lost my job. I waited for months. I thought I already prepared myself para rito. But still, sepanx. I am certified unemployed. And I don't know where to start.

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12:00 thoughts.

Bakit kaya pang mahirap lang yung batas sa Pilipinas.

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Always be ready to say goodbye to anything.

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I'M GOING TO CLAIM IT. ONE DAY, I'LL BE SITTING ON MY OFFICE, PICKING A SONG TO PLAY FOR MY COFFEE SHOP.

At babalik ako dito sa tumblr to read this post while doing that.

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