#weekends

[the-most-humble-blog]

🛐 THEY WERE JUST TEENAGERS — AND THEY SAVED YOUR SORRY PLANET (A Blacksite Eulogy for the Original Mighty Morphin Power Rangers)

While you were crying over your overpriced Panera sandwich, while your parents were arguing about grass-fed artisanal pork, there were teenagers out there throwing hands with cosmic death witches.

Not grown men. Not Marines. Not government agents.

Teenagers. With SAT prep books in one hand and power coins in the other.

And they didn’t ask for permission. They didn’t file complaints. They didn’t demand safe spaces.

They got summoned to an interdimensional command center — and signed up for war in f*cking color-coded armor.

🛑 NO ONE GIVES THEM ENOUGH RESPECT

They weren’t trained assassins. They weren’t getting hazard pay. Half of them probably still had algebra homework they weren’t going to finish.

And yet —

While you and your emotional support latte were arguing about pronouns, they were out there spin-kicking mud zombies in the throat.

No Kevlar. No congressional backup. No antidepressants.

Just teenage testosterone, spandex, and enough inner rage to crater a moon.

💀 THE ENEMY ROSTER:

Rita Repulsa: Cosmic Witch Aunt with evil goals, a questionable skincare routine, and a vocal fry that could sterilize a goat.

Goldar: A winged ape covered in gold armor who sounded like he gargled motor oil every morning. (Respect. Goldar was a beast.)

Putties (or "Puddies" — who gives a shit): Literal clay zombies who showed up to every fight like crash test dummies with ADHD.

And how did the Rangers treat them?

Like discount punching bags.

Spin kicks. Flying knees. Dropkicks to the throat. They didn’t even need a full morph sometimes — just boots and bad attitudes.

🧠 YOU THINK YOUR FINAL EXAMS WERE HARD?

Try being 16 years old and having:

Zords to pilot

Death beams to dodge

Homework still due by Monday

And if you failed?

You didn’t just get a bad grade. You got vaporized by a space tyrant.

🛡️ NO COMMITTEE HEARINGS. NO PITY PARTIES.

They didn’t sue Rita. They didn’t file grievance reports with Zordon.

They threw hands. They flipped over concrete. They somersaulted over explosions that would liquefy most Instagram influencers.

They woke up, morphed up, and chose violence.

And they did it without adult supervision.

Because guess what? The adults weren’t going to save sh*t.

🧠 TL;DR

They didn’t have backup.

They didn’t get applause.

They didn’t have TikTok therapists dissecting their trauma.

They had helmets, flips, and fists.

You owe your 90s childhood to five high schoolers who said yes to the ugliest job offer in galactic history — and threw hands until the cosmos learned their names.

💣 CALL TO ACTION:

🔁 Reblog if you know the Rangers deserved hazard pay and a pension by 18 🦖 Save this if you ever wanted to Falcon-punch a Putty like it owed you lunch money 🛡️ Send it to the friend who still does roundhouse kicks when no one’s looking 🔥 Bookmark it if you know Zordon’s draft was the last time teenagers were built properly

⚖️ LEGAL DISCLAIMER:

This post is Blacksite Literature™, mythological reconstruction, nostalgic rage therapy, and 90s child soldier appreciation protected under literary satire and cosmic battle doctrine.

If you’re offended: Go put on your training wheels and cry about it. The Rangers were out fighting moon demons while you were still asking your mom if you could watch PG-13 movies.

🛡️ BLACKSITE LOYALTY DRILL™

🛐 BLACKSITE CHALLENGE: “WOULD YOU HAVE MORPHED?”

Ask yourself:

When Zordon called, when Rita dropped monsters on your city, when your best defense was a dinosaur robot and a helmet:

Would you have fought? Or would you have begged for safe zones and vegan concessions?

🔥 Reblog if you know you would’ve thrown a backflip into the void ⚡ Save if you would’ve swung fists before filing complaints 📡 DM it to someone who forgot teenagers used to be dangerous

🛐

[its-funnytwittertweets]

[beccawise7]

That smile... When you know he's going to make you a wet, needy mess...

~beccawise7💜🖤

[miss-what-a-d0ll]

[socialbutterfly19]

Best night… memories getting to see vanilla ice priceless

[whitefireprincess]

Let a girl rot | Karah Amos

[floridaboiler]

Weekends are for adventures!

[btpretty]

° ¸• ☆. ¸♥ .¯`· . 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚍𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚝𝚎𝚕𝚕 𝚖𝚎, 𝚢𝚘𝚞'𝚛𝚎 𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚠𝚎𝚊𝚛, 𝚋𝚎𝚌𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚠𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 ° ¸• ☆. ¸♥ .¯`· .

//////////////////////////////////////////////// ° ¸• ☆. ¸♥ .¯`· /////////////////////////////////////////////

[study-core-101]

productivity in weekends be like:

expectation: i will do everything i have to do during saturday, spaced out so i can chill too and then take the sunday off to rest

reality: does absolutely nothing the entire weekend and then rush-does the entire thing at 8pm sunday

[tmakids]

what are the weekends like?

some enjoy them more than others

[the-most-humble-blog]

🛐 APPARENTLY, I’M ALREADY DEAD — ACCORDING TO CALIFORNIA

So according to the State of California? I’m a one-man chemical spill with a social security number.

Apparently, my power cord is trying to assassinate my sperm. My flashlight is plotting uterine sabotage. And the ceramic mug I drink out of every morning? Yeah — that bitch wants me in chemo by 2037.

What. The fuck. Man.

💀 PROP 65: THE LAW THAT TURNED EVERYTHING INTO A CANCER CONSPIRACY

You think I’m joking? Welcome to Prop 65. A law so paranoid, it makes QAnon look like a book club.

It doesn’t ban toxic shit. It just warns you about it.

“WARNING: This item may cause cancer, birth defects, or turn your scrotum into a haunted house.”

No specifics. No dosage. Just a legal shrug that screams 'LOL good luck.'

⚰️ THINGS THAT HAVE GIVEN ME PROP 65 DEATH THREATS:

A pair of earbuds

A goddamn garden hose

A lock for my gym bag

A set of Tupperware lids

TUPPERWARE LIDS. Apparently meal prep is now a form of assisted suicide.

🧪 SCIENTIFICALLY SPEAKING, I SHOULD’VE BEEN DEAD 19 PRODUCTS AGO

The warning threshold?

1 in 100,000 chance of cancer over 70 years

Translation: If you bathed in a chemical daily for 7 decades, your odds of getting cancer might go up by 0.001%

But California’s like:

"Label it anyway. People need to panic."

Because fear sells. And lawyers love it wet.

🔍 WHO WRITES THESE LABELS? THE GHOST OF WEBMD?

"WARNING: Handling this extension cord may cause irreversible testicular damage. Wash your hands after glancing at it."

Meanwhile:

Alcohol? Sold freely.

Weed? Legal.

Sugar? Unchecked poison.

But yeah, the real killer? Your keyboard cable.

🤡 THE INSANITY OF MODERN SAFETY THEATER

It’s not about protecting you. It’s about covering their asses.

They don’t have to prove it’s dangerous. They just have to say, “Might be.”

"Might give you cancer. Might not. Good luck, dipshit."

🔥 NEWSFLASH: YOU’RE ALREADY DYING

You breathe microplastics. You sleep next to Wi-Fi. You drink tap water filtered through God knows what.

And now your yoga mat is trying to assassinate your future children according to a label stapled on by a lawyer with carpal tunnel.

🧠 TL;DR

California thinks I’m a chemical experiment with a credit score.

The warning label on my Amazon delivery made me question my life expectancy, masculinity, and flooring material all at once.

I didn’t buy electronics. I bought a long-form suicide note.

💣 CALL TO ACTION

🔁 Reblog if California made you scared of your blender ⚰️ Save this before your shower curtain gives you leukemia 🧪 Share if you’ve ever licked a USB cord and lived to tell the tale 🛐 Bookmark this if you now fear your IKEA drawer handles

⚖️ LEGAL DISCLAIMER: This post is Blacksite Literature™, weaponized satire, post-industrial toxin liturgy, and anti-panic doctrine protected by the Prop 65 warning label on my fucking shoelaces.

If you’re offended: Please do not handle yourself. Exposure may cause disappointment, infertility, and sudden literacy.

🛐

🔁Reblog to keep my signal to mankind going strong.

[beccawise7]

Mmmm weekend vibes. 💜🖤

[businessmemes]

if you need to take home a portable data telecomputer for weekend work, please fill out Form D1M Reverse Forward / 000 *cat symbol* and return in infiniplicate to Audrey K. on floor 11 in the Kobalt Wing of the Zanzibar Sector 75 days prior.

[miss-what-a-d0ll]

[beccawise7v2]

Lazy weekends simply existing in the presence of the one you adore is everything.

~beccawise7💜🖤