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Dom Peter and sub Tony

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like, okay, consent does literally just mean agree. which is what enables this little rhetorical trick. because there's all this cultural emphasis on sexual consent, which is just expressed as consent, a lot of phrases whose intended meanings are "rape is bad" can be taken literally to mean "i should get to agree to everything that happens in my vicinity."

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Tony and Peter going on a coffee date

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Angel Peter falling for his charge Priest Tony

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WOOT BROKE W(b)ITCH HAUL

HEY YOU

YES YOU

ARE YOU BROKE BUT STILL WANNA PULL THE THREADS OF THE ETHER AND DEFY THE ESTABLISHED LAWS OF MAN INVOKING THE ANCIENT MAGICK?

GOOD.

You and I are gonna go S H O P P I N G

But, Semiramis! I just told you I’m broke! I can’t get nice things!

*smack*

WRONG.

The world is full of wonders, one of them being

DOLLAR STORES

Remember sweeties, a witch’s best friend is scavenging.

Open your eyes. Look around. Scout your neighborhood.

But what about the things that I can’t get out on the streets!?

That’s what we’re shopping for!

Now before we move on, close your eyes… then open them again because you need to read the rest of the message… and repeat the following mantra:

THE CRAFT REQUIRES NOTHING. THE CRAFT REQUIRES NOTHING. THE CRAFT REQUIRES NOTHING BUT MYSELF.

No fancy ingredients, no pretty crystals, no expensive incenses will work better than your RAW HEART AND SOUL.

Mkay?

Now let’s go get some of that good shit.

How good?

Diz gud.

Now, it’s no mystery that a broke ass witch needs to pay a visit to the local dollar stores to get her materials every once in a while, but if you’re like me and live in a place where there are no dollar stores (and there are no dollars either) WHERE TO GO?

The answer is here:

CHINESE IMPORT STORES ARE YOUR NEW SANCTUARY.

These places are AWESOME for a witch on a budget, because they carry EVERYTHING. From toys to art supplies to kitchenware…

AND SPIRITUALITY SUPPLIES.

(That’s where we come in)

Speaking of budget, by the way. Let’s set one.

Say… $15?

FIFTEEN AMERICAN DOLLARS. I will take you home with some nice and rare goodies that will spice up your spells.

Let’s go in.

Oooh what a promising start. This here, my friends, are 25 grams of the purest coke Palo Santo wood. Don’t like it in its natural state?

They have it in incense too!

But we ain’t getting that shit. I’m allergic so I can’t burn anything scented or else I… die.

But know they’re there, as well as essential oils, and they’re quite accessi-

WHAT!?

28 BUCKS FOR A BOTTLE OF ESSENTIAL OIL!?

AIN’T NOBODY GOT CASH FO DAT

Nah I’m just kidding. This is the price in pesos, meaning that these oils are *math happens* $1.55 each!

What a D E A L

BUT THAT’S NOT WHAT WE’RE HERE FOR BECAUSE I’M SOON TEACHING YOU HOW TO MAKE YOUR OWN OILS.

Also, holy shit…

You HAVE to see the candles aisle in this place.

They have them twirly

Large

Larger

The photo is not blury, you’re drunk

Scented

Scentless

Birthdayful

Oh hellooo thereee~

Twelve candles for $1.94 you say?

Meaning SIXTEEN CENTS A CANDLE?

Adopted.

Don’t let anyone tell you cheap candles don’t get the job done, people!

Plus they burn just as good.

NOW at this point the store was 10 minutes away from closing time, so I had to stop taking pictures to get my ass outta there, BUT

Here’s a look at what we got:

That doesn’t look too good, let’s add a F I L T E R

Those little crochet doilies that will serve as my new altar tablecloths? They were $0.55

But Amis! Those don’t look too witchy, more like what my grandma puts under her vases!

First of all, how dare you.

Second of all, how dare you.

Granmotherly stuff is witchy by D E F I N I T I O N. Embrace the grandma aesthetic, y’all!

Also:

If you’re poor you have to be CRAFTY. Look at that! It has a pentacle now. How long did it take? Literally 30 seconds! Imagine what we could do with a whole afternoon!

Ok, I admit it, that was a fiasco, BUT WE’RE ONTO SOMETHING THERE.

Let’s take a closer look at what else we brought, shall we?

This tiny chest is 7.5 cm wide x 5.5 cm tall x 5.5 cm deep (3 in x 2.1 in x 2.1 in) and will hold my pocket altar. It was *drum roll* $1.70!

I was getting tired of using my mom’s big ass scissors to cut my tiny delicate herbs, so I got myself this pair of snips! Price: $0.55 and they’re sharper than Tom Hiddleston’s style. Plus they serve a multitude of purposes, like shanking a bitch.

A quick stop by the crystal shop that was also closing (pfft crystal shop. Sounds like out of a fantasy novel, love it) yields the following goodies:

-Onyx ($0.55)

-Fluorite ($0.27)

-Snowflake obsidian (hard to get where I live. It’s kinda pricey at $2.20. I recommend other kinds of obsidian or maybe just black glass as I’ve been using until today, it still works awesomely. I got the obsidian because I wanted to experiment with it and my Mentor recommended me to get it, same as the fluorite).

-And the CUTEST little quartz formation. This one kinda defeats the purpose because it was a bit pricey. You don’t need it; any clear quartz will work the same.  It was $4.50 and it was my guilty pleasure of the month. It also came with a free satchel that’s most certainly going to be used with magickal results in the foreseeable future.

More of it because it’s so gorgeous ♥

Back to the fluorite! That shit is large and cheap! Well, you see, it’s kinda ugly because I was part of a larger stone and broke down the middle when they were trying to perforate it to make it into a pendant.

But check this hot babe out

W O R K I T

Coming back from the imports store, I paid a visit to my pot dealer erh I mean my herbs supplier. Got myself some ginger for $0.27

AND THEN

I SAW IT

Maybe they don’t package it like this in your country, but here this little shitty capsule is worth its weight in GOLD.

Y’all know what this is?

This is SAFFRON.

Now normally I steer fucking clear of things this expensive, but when I asked my dealer I mean the vendor she said it was on sale.

This stuff LITERALLY sold by FRACTIONS OF GRAMS. In this case that’s 0.2 grams of saffron, that’s 0.007 ounces. YES. ZERO POINT ZERO ZERO SEVEN. Insert here Bond reference

Retail price? Normally around $8 per capsule (EIGHT AMERICAN DOLLARS!)

How much on sale?

TWO DOLLARS.

A tip for the broke witch: hunt down for sales. Even if you don’t use the ingredients in your spells, you can still trade them with other witches or with anyone, really.

After this I went home and decided to try out my new candles.

And as I said, if you’re poor, you gotta get crafty!

I cut one of the candles in half. A part went to my pocket altar, and the other half…

I used one of those ceramic saucers with the little erh… lower level circle in the middle?

USE CERAMIC. THIS IS IMPORTANT. IT RESISTS TEMPERATURE WELL AND YOU’RE GONNA NEED IT.

Melt the wax in the microwave or on the flame and then make sure it stays in the center of the saucer. Then take it out and wait until it cools down (or put it in the freezer if you are an impatient little shit). DO NOT LET IT SOLIDIFY COMPLETELY.

Then you take it out and use a round cookie cutter (or if you’re a cheap ass like me, find something else)

I just used the styling nozzle of my hair drying because F U K D A P O L I C E

Put it again in the freezer and once it’s completely solidified use a spatula because you, my dear witch

Just made yourself a moon wax amulet!

Engrave it with your sigils, place it on your altar, carefully soften the bottom with heat and use it as a seal, the possibilities are endless!

BUT WAIT, WHAT ABOUT THE REMNANTS!?

EVIL EYE WARD!

The rest? Melt it again or use it as a poppet in case you wanna cast a spell over an onion ring…

By the end of the day, our haul is:

-Altar cloth $0.55

-Herbs snips $0.55

-Mini-altar wooden box $1.70

-Dozen of blue candles $1.94

-Ginger root $0.27

-Satchel $0

-Snowflake obsidian $2.20

-Fluorite$ 0.27

-Onix $0.55

-Quartz crystal formation $4.50

-Saffron Capsule $2

A grand total of $14.53!

Of our budget of $15 we still have $0.47 that where I live is enough for the bus ride back home!

If we take away the unnecessarily pricey stuff (the quartz and the saffron) we got everything for $8.03!

Now if THAT’S not magick, I don’t know what is!

SOME FINAL TIPS!

1)      REUSE as many things as you can.

2)      MOVE THOSE FEET. I know it doesn’t sound appealing, but CHECK SEVERAL PLACES. Find the best prices by checking different stores and comparing.

3)      BE CREATIVE. If you find yourself in need of something you can’t afford, think and find a way to replace it or get it through other routes. As I said, witch trading is a thing!

4)      BARGAIN. There’s no shame in it, people! If you’re dealing with independent merchants and buy regularly/are buying a lot, try to get better prices! Don’t disrespect their business, though!

5)      REMEMBER YOUR MANTRA. Witchcraft requires NOTHING. Except you.

Now go out there and work your Magick!

-Semiramis, the Magpie Witchling

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You’ve found one!

Peter, who's excited for his first ever date- he actually tries to look presentable, and he spends all weekend ecstatic and giddy over the planned event. Only to get stood up by his boyfriend on the day.

Tony, who sees Peter on the sidewalk dragging himself back home. He pities the kid- feels bad for him. He knows Peter will worry over this for the next week or two, and the teen looks disappointed. And so Tony takes Peter out on that planned date, just to cheer him up. Giving the kid all the things he should've gotten today from his actual boyfriend. (subtly trying to worm my way into Starker Tumblr...)

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CHRIS EVANS as STEVE ROGERS AVENGERS: ENDGAME (2019) dir. The Russo Brothers

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y’all ever read a fanfic that you cannot believe an author just wrote for free?? what an honor it is to read a piece of someone’s soul they shared out of nothing but love for a piece of media. what a privilege it is to be allowed their talent because you share an interest!!

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Trashy Stripper Peter

Tony wouldn’t usually wander into a place with quadruple guarantees of payment. You know the type. Cover at the door. Two drink minimum to sit. An extra bouncer to keep an eye on you and make sure you buy a drink per half-hour watching the dancers.

Not only were those places fucking annoying (what billionaire wants to be constantly nickel’d & dime’d?) they had a habit of not leaving enough cash on customers to pay for the dancers. If just having a seat costs almost fifty bucks, exactly how many stacks does the working class man have left?

That meant the dancers in these places were… a little worse for wear. Not particularly Tony’s type.

But, he was alone. Bored. …and so damn tired of chandeliers and imported gin. Where was the strip club that mimicked the hole-in-the-wall, pool hall he and Rhodey frequented? Where was the place he could sit back, relax, and not run into a “colleague?”

He chose this place out of a phonebook. Shady neighborhood. Cheesy name. Didn’t answer their phone no matter what time he called. Perfect.

“It’s uh… Tuesday night,” the person at the door said uneasily as he passed over a few hundred dollar Bill’s and asked to not be approached for more money throughout the night.

“Tuesday? What does that mean? You have to bother me?”

“No, sir. It’s um… just not a night for regulars…” the cashier still hasn’t put his money away. Their eyes search around him as if a better answer might appear.

“Look… it took over an hour to find parking, over here. If it’s a private party, just tell them Tony Stark’s here and he’ll…”

“It’s Total Boylesque Tuesday. Full frontal. Dicks, Mr. Stark,” the cashier blurts out. They open the door to allow Tony a peek inside.

Tony’s mouth opens. Shuts. Frowns in consideration. Even as the cashier allows the rickety door to click shut, he feels transfixed by what he’d seen.

“Don’t bother me, again, for money,” Tony says. Suddenly urgent to get inside. To catch the end of Rihanna’s “Umbrella” and the absolute unit in the cheap wig on stage. “Table close to the stage. Tell anyone I was here and this is my last night coming by. Let me keep this one to myself and you’ll see me every Tuesday.”

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– f a c t s

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Cattle and oil tycoon Tony Stark. He inherited the 50k acres from his father when the oil tycoon passed away. He doubled it within a year and became the largest ranch owner in the country. He dedicated thirty-five percent of it to conservation efforts. The rest of the land is split between oil production and his cattle. He was never interested in the oil business, truth be told. He just couldn't have the Stark name tarnished by big corp coming in and taking over the rig. But Tony is just a simple cowboy at heart. Sure, he's on his way to becoming a billionaire, but he'll take his dirty boots and stained Wranglers over Armani any day.

Cue pretty boy, horse loving, son of Tony's biggest competitor- Peter. Who's father sent him to spy on Stark in disguise as a conservationist program intern. Will Tony's whole life turn upside down from the havoc that ensues? Yes. Will he love every damn minute of it? Also yes.

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Don't you ever talk to me or my controversially young boyfriend again

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Married Peter and Tony in the summer

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Steampunk inventors and husbands

@starkerfestivals Bingo 2025: Steampunk au

card below

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Tony and Peter buying each others merchandise with their superhero identities on to affectionately piss each other off