super-ace - Tumblr blog

[super-ace]

One of the reasons I started this blog is because I literally wanna talk about asexuality and aromanticism and being queer all the time and there’s only so much I can talk to my friends without fear of boring them to death. Nearly three years on since I figured out my identity and I still feel that way. I just wait for the time when someone asks me about it and then I’m in my element 😂

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Happy Lesbian Visibility Week to all who celebrate 🫶🏻

🧡🩷🤍

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Idk why but u give me Alice oseman vibes. Maybe cuz aromantic and ace and english??? Hmmm

I’ll take that as a compliment, Alice Oseman an icon 🫶🏻

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Sorry I’ve not really posted in a while. How’s everyone doing?

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HAPPY INTERNATIONAL ASEXUALITY DAY!!

-April 6th

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Happy International Asexuality Day! 🖤🩶🤍💜

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REBLOG IF YOUR BLOG IS A SAFE SPACE FOR AROMANTIC PEOPLE AND IF YOU THINK THEY ARE VALID

I want to see how many people actually are willing to say this and not just act like it

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HAPPY TRANS DAY OF VISIBILITY TO TRANS ACESPECS! you are literally the coolest people to ever exist 🩵🦋🩷

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I’ve remembered one of the things that made me start questioning if I was actually straight or something else. I started chatting with this guy on Snapchat cos he was posting photos with his kid and I was like ‘aw she’s cute’. He’s the son of someone I used to work with so I’d known him for over 10 years and always got on with him but never really had much to do with him. So anyway very quickly he starts getting flirty and saying stuff like ‘if you bumped into me on a night out would you get with me’ and ‘am I your type?’. I just joke that I don’t even live in the town anymore so chance would be a fine thing. Next thing he’s like ‘I wanna have sex with you’ and I’m panicking at this point cos wtf is happening. I just say something like ‘hahahaha thanks but it’s not something I’m looking for rn’ and literally never spoke to him again. Like I’m 26/27 years old at this point and the whole situation just made me really anxious which made me think that there was something different about me cos it didn’t feel like a normal reaction

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This is actually very helpful. I’ve always struggled with what romantic attraction actually is so just landed on aromantic with the reasoning that if I don’t know what it is then I can’t have felt it. But reading this I am happy to confirm that I do not experience romantic attraction. Fantastic news

A friend of mine asked me once how I could tell the difference between experiencing romantic and platonic attraction. I'd like to restate my thoughts here, since I think they could be useful for some people!

First of all, Intensity =/= Romance. Platonic feelings can be just as strong as romantic ones, although the amatonormativity we live in pretends otherwise. Because of that, I used to often wonder if my squishes are actually crushes. Nowadays, I just go through a series of questions and feel much more at peace afterwards!

"Do I have a crush on this person?"

Ask yourself:

Do I want to kiss them?

On the mouth? With tongue?

Do I want them to kiss me?

Do I want to go on dates with them?

Alone? Would I like it more or less in a group setting with other friends?

Do I like the idea of being seen as a "pair?"

Do I want to live with them?

Forever?

Do I want to marry them?

What does an ideal wedding look like, in my head?

Do I like the idea of them confessing to me?

If I have any interest in children, am I interested in raising children alongside them?

Do I want to exchange gifts with them annually on dates like Valentine's and/or an anniversary?

Do I (in general) enjoy traditional romantic gifts like flowers or jewelry?

Would I enjoy receiving those gifts from the person in question?

If they told me they just got a new partner, would I feel negatively about that?

Do I feel that same negativity when other people I'd never be interested in romantically (family members, etc.) announce they have new partners? Or is it just the person in question?

If sex is a romantic thing for me, do I want to have sex with them?

Answering "yes" to a single one of these questions doesn't mean I have a crush. But answering "yes" to many of them would indicate romantic feelings.

For me, this is a relief, because when I apply these questions to my friends and squishes, I typically react with disgust and RESOUNDING "no"s. Kissing, dating, annual gift obligations, marriage, and co-parenting all squick me out and make me recoil.

A lot of aros (especially baby or questioning ones) might also answer "yes" to a hypothetical they haven't experienced themselves, but then change their answer to "no" later. I know I used to think being confessed to would be flattering (even by someone I didn't reciprocate), but now that it's happened to me a few times, I know how awkward and awful it is. Same with kissing; I thought I'd like it because everyone in media likes it, but actually trying it (with girls and boys) has firmly cemented me in the reality that I just hate mouth kissing.

But, I still thought it might be useful for some aros who struggle with their identity due to all the arophobia and amatonormativity trying to make them question their feelings!

(It might also be helpful for someone trying to figure out if they're gay/bi and have a crush on someone, idk)

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trying to prove that you don't experience something is so difficult because ultimately you cannot know what something feels like if you haven't experienced it which is why being asexual and aromantic respectively are so hard to figure out

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I wanna be Mr Farouk when I’m older

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One thing I’ve noticed about myself is if I’m left alone for too long (ie, I’ve been on annual leave this week but didn’t really have any plans so I’ve just been rattling around my flat by myself which 99% of the time I love but apparently a week is too much) then I start questioning my asexuality all over again. It’s how I started questioning in the first place (thanks lockdown) and I dunno if it’s mixed with a bit of loneliness as well or what but either way I’m gonna eat my weight in chocolate and rewatch season 2 of Heartstopper to make myself feel validated

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Thought I’d give Hazbin Hotel a go seeing as I can’t go anywhere on tumblr without it taking over but I’m not usually a fan of adult cartoons so wasn’t sure what to expect. Came for the Alastor asexual rep, stayed for the songs, the swearing and Vaggie. Pleasantly surprised

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"Why am I horny?"

*looks at calendar*

*period is due in a few days*

*hormones are going crazy*

*(all women's bodies are different, this is just how mine is)*

"Ah, that makes sense."

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Women are works of art 💕