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As much as I want them to be together as fast as possible bc I'm too impatient for a slow burn, the idea of there not being a gigolas confession until after they sail to valinor is the funniest shit to me, just like

Legolas: Dad, Mom, I have a problem. I think I have a crush on Gimli

Thrandruil: You mean the dwarf you illegally smuggled into elf heaven?

Legolas's mom: because the thought of you two being parted was too unbearable, even after all your other friends had already passed?

Legolas: ya, anyway, do you think he likes me back?

Legolas's mom: do we think... that the dwarf who agreed to sail across the sea with you, to a home full of elves, forsaking the rest of his time he had with his kin on middle earth to escort you to a place of comfort so that you may be at peace when he dies, likes you back?

Legolas:...

Legolas's mom:...

Thrandruil: I swear I didn't raise him to be this dumb.

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That helped so much, thank you 🌈🐥

rough week♡

hi there sweet pea. are you alright? hey, what are those tears for baby bear? c'mere, mama's here. let it all out. its okay, I'm here, don't worry. It's all going to be okay. what's that, angel? of course you're not 'strange' for regressing! what's made you think that, little cub? no, no, no! you're valid. the way you heal is valid. your feelings are valid. don't listen to the meanies, baby. you'll be shooting for the stars soon♡

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Star Theory; visualizing dissociation

If you're active in mental health and disability communities, you've likely heard of spoon theory, which visualizes the day-to-day life of those with chronic disabilities, and how much energy they have doing different tasks.

In 2019, the term star theory was coined by the since moved Tumblr blog espersgalaxy; I was given permission to recreate and better explain this theory. Star theory is based off of the same basic principles as spoon theory. However, star theory is specifically tailored towards those who experience any form of dissociation.

Unlike the spoon theory, the more 'stars' you have, the more dissociated you are. This is in contrast with spoon theory, which visualizes less energy through less spoons. The concept of stars comes from a common trope in cartoons and other mediums where characters who have become "dizzy" or "zoned out" have stars swirling around their head.

As an example, someone with dissociative identity disorder may start the day with anywhere from zero to five stars. Someone may wake up and already feel dissociative, and so they may already be at a 2. Throughout the day, certain triggers, stimuli, and situations may either lessen or gain more stars.

If someone has no stars, then they are completely non-dissociative, and if someone has 5, they are completely dissociative to the point where they may be unable to function, think properly, or know who they are. This limit may be raised to ten stars if someone feels they need more specification, such as from zero to ten.

Example of a 'star meter' for someone using the theory:

0 stars: Non-dissociative. No issues at this time.

1 star: Very mild, likely not noticeable. Little to no issue.

2 stars: Mild. Possible issues with identity, memory, etc.

3 stars: Moderate, noticeable. Issues will likely begin to show up.

4 stars: Stronger dissociation. Issues with time, memory, etc.

5 stars: Very strong dissociation. May not know who they are, where they are, the time, etc., may not be able to function.

Narrative example: John has BPD, which causes dissociation. Yesterday, he woke up with 2 stars. When he went to the store, he saw something that greatly upset him, causing him to gain 2 stars. He had a difficult time returning home, but once he did he grounded himself, losing 3 stars. By the time he went to bed for the night, he had one star. However, the next day, he woke up with 4 stars due to a nightmare.

TLDR: Star theory is a similar theory to spoon theory and is for people who experience any kind of dissociation. The more "stars" a person has, the more dissociated they are.

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I prefer winter and fall, when you feel the bone structure of the landscape—the loneliness of it, the dead feeling of winter. Something waits beneath it, the whole story doesn’t show.

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Mood

Dear Diary,

My anxiety’s anxiety has anxiety.

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Coping Mechanisms Masterlist

Thoughts to break the cycle

this is temporary if I believe it is

I AM NOT my perception, or my thoughts

I am the observer of the thoughts

my mind is protecting me and is stressed from not knowing how to fix it. Thank you for protecting me but it will be okay

the negative thoughts are just a symptom of depression, dissociation/dpdr, c-ptsd, or anxiety or all of the above

thoughts are just like another one of the 5 senses. Like how you can perceive textures, smells, tastes, sounds. Your thoughts allow you to perceive an experience. But you are not your nose. You are not your mouth. You are not your ears. You are not your hand it’s just a hand that’s connected to your body. And so You are not your thoughts. You’re the one experiencing these sensations you are not the sensations.

Even if you genetically are predisposed or your genetics or brain chemistry has caused the issue. Especially in this case your thoughts do not define who you are they are just a reaction your brain is creating to protect you from something it thinks is a threat.

self hate and depression is a coping mechanism: your body wants you to be better, to be perfect to avoid something negative that hurts and self hate is the way it decided to go but it doesn’t have to be that way. Tell your mind “thank you” and “I love you but it’s okay.” “We are safe” and “I am enough.”

I try to remember my goals: how I want to be happy, the things I want to add to my life that will make me feel calmer and happier. (If you don’t have any goals or ideas think of anything you want in this world to achieve, or learn, or earn and write it down and imagine how it would feel if you had it right now. It helps push you to realize you can shape your life how you want)

that someone in this world loves you. If you can’t name anyone. Your own body loves you. It keeps you alive and gives you the ability to experience things like eating yummy food, being able to pet an animal and feel how soft their fur is, being able to look up at the sky and see stars or clouds. Simple every day things that we take for granted because we get so stressed out from life and drama. Sometimes we forget we could lose our eyesight and we wouldn’t be able to see things or people that we love. We could get injured and never be able to walk, run or jump again. We could lose our ability to breathe and be hooked up to a ventilator. I like to write down anything I can think of to be grateful for everyday in my journal and it makes me feel less depressed, less anxious,and excited to be able to just .. be alive especially when I want to not be alive anymore

I remind myself that when I was a baby I didn’t have any thoughts I didn’t know shit. The way I grew up and had to experience life made it so I perceive life the way I do. I like to imagine if I was a blank slate what are the different ways I could look at my life? What are the ways I can decide to look at situations or myself? People don’t just wake up and love themselves they were taught to feel loved. Just like how we don’t wake up with these negative self hateful thoughts. We got them from somewhere. We can choose if we want to still believe our perceptions or not. But learning to be happy and to love ourself is like a skill. Just like how learning to hate ourselves took time and repeated experiences.

Self care / Self love activities

imagining an older version of myself comforting present me. And imagining myself currently to comfort past me during traumatic moments

bubble baths

napping with soothing audios, or sleep meditations

walking outside

calling a friend

visiting a family member or friend

Write yourself a note when you’re happy to yourself and read it when you’re upset

Make a voice memo give future you a pep talk, positive affirmations, or even guided meditations and listen to it when you’re upset

lighting a candle and writing down an intention and meditating or you can pray if you believe in a god or have a religion. Or if you just believe in the universe and law of attraction

journaling

cleaning or tidying up a little

eating a yummy but healthy snack

cooking or baking

(if I’m severely not okay) holding an ice cube, running my hands in cold water and splashing the water in my face, taking a cold shower, taking a rubber band on my wrist and snapping it back

reading a book

watching my favorite tv show or movie

watching a comedy

playing music and forcing myself to dance (when I’m alone of course 😅)

yoga

exercising

watching cute animal videos on YouTube

Singing in the shower

Adult coloring books

some type of video about philosophy that reminds me that I’m not alone and we are all lost

some type of video that reminds me how beautiful life can be

some type of video that reminds me that I’m not in control of my circumstance, my genetics, or the world but I’m in control of how I react that I’m the one that gives power to my thoughts

Breaking thought patterns, bad habits and doing self care every day helps immensely. Over time it gets easier and easier to feel okay and to even feel happy. But never stop doing these things for the rest of your life. You either feed the negative thoughts or you feed the positive. You either feed the negative habits or you feed the bad. You get to choose. Seek help, and be gentle with yourself. Healing isn’t linear.

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,, Smiling like that he could have been the Devil himself, beautiful enough to earn the title of God's favourite, wicked enough to be cast down from heaven"

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The world can burn for all i care

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Every day is worse than the one before and I'm just so tired. I don't want to do this anymore i just want to give up and finally be at peace.

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can you feel my heart // bring me the horizon

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Sitting in a park at 2 a.m. after taking a walk cause I couldn't sleep.

Anyone else love night walks?

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"If every cigarette you smoke takes 7 minutes of your life, every game of Dungeons & Dragons you play delays the loss of your virginity of 7 hours"

-Marylin Manson, "The long hard road out of hell"

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Shit i felt that.

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"Stricingly handsome man with piercing blue eyes and and a very Deep voice."

That's exactly how CC described Andy when he was asked of the first impression he got when they met for the first time.

I mean he's not wrong but it sounds exactly like something you would read in a fanfiction.

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So I was walking around my town today. And as I walked i kept seeing these chalk rainbow flags drawn on sidewalks everywhere. I mean everywhere there were literally hundreds of them. Apparently some lgbt people got together and had drawn them all over town a few nights before. I was so excited cause I wanted to do something like that myself of course on a much smaller scale

And overall with me being bi in this homophobic country that I live in seeing these little flags all over town made me so happy and restored a little bit of my faith in humanity.

Here's a few photos of the awesome chalk rainbow flags. Hope it makes u smile.

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜