#!!! seriously the coolest !!!

[intolunarorbit]

kinda f*ucked up that transphobia exists tbh. Trans women are so cute and they're all really nice to me and they all have fat asses and suckable gocks reblog if you agree

[queenjulia11]

As I’m sure you’ve all (unfortunately) heard by now, Ben goddamn motherfucking Shapiro is producing a conservative Bluey knock-off called Chip Chilla, about a homeschooling family of chinchillas — starring Rob goddamn motherfucking Schneider — and I need to talk about it.

Done throwing up yet? Cool.

This is obviously disgusting for several reasons but the thing that infuriates me the most is that the dad in this rip-off is largely absent in his kids lives and development and finds them annoying. One of the great things about Bluey is how deeply the parents (ESPECIALLY Bandit) love their kids even when they can get on their nerves or aren’t as easy to manage.

I reject the notion that playing with and loving your children is weak and lame. Bluey is revolutionary in that it dives headfirst into love for one’s family and being un afraid to express it. That’s one of the most badass and radical things that can be shown in media regardless of the age demographic, especially with the stereotype of moms being caretakers and dads finding ways to shut their kids up while the game is on.

You think you’re cool for not caring about love? You think you’re breaking new ground for not listening to your kids and caring deeply about their interests?

The problem is that Bluey is a show for families, and this pile of shit excuse of an animated series is a show for parents. Because they’re scared of educating their children to be radical with love — because what if they end up loving “the wrong people?”

These people don’t want to raise kind, compassionate and and curious humans — they want carbon copies of themselves. Congratulations, you’ve completely missed the point of parenting. Have fun at the retirement home! Repression and censorship is just delaying the inevitable. It’s love that makes people. How dare you throw it away like it’s nothing.

What’s even weirder is I feel like Bluey doesn’t even have that much about it that would make conservatives raise their eyebrows? There’s no obvious political or religious agenda in any direction, there aren’t any canon queer characters yet — none of the things in modern kids’ TV that would make a right-wing dumbass clutch their pearls and say “I could never show my innocent children something so depraved!”

It’s just. A happy family. Living their lives. Loving each other. How fucking weird and sad do you have to be to look at that and be like “hmm, no, this is not the message I want my kids to come away with.”

Anyway I know I’m probably preaching to the choir, but go watch Bluey. Go watch something made by people who care.

Edit: Thank you @potato-head-kids for providing the image description.

[howlersdiary]

quick tip for my fellow therians/otherkin: GROW YOUR NATURAL NAILS OUT!!!!!!!!! get yourself some cuticle oil and a nail care kit and start growing them out and filing them into a shape that feels nice to you. i PROMISE it feels way better than getting extensions and the joy of growing your own claws is immense

[thundergrace]

[theflowerofthecommonwealth]

RoboDad being illegally snazzy in the streets of Boston.

[druidonity2]

What if I were mentally ill and void of the light's presence and hung out with Alleria Windrunner wouldn't that be really cool

[rosekasa]

i went to drop off some stuff for my best friend today and honestly i did not think people actually could get so loopy from cough medicine but in the fifteen seconds of interaction we had i have never seen anyone so fascinated by a plastic bag from krispy kreme

[love4hobi]

It feels like a dream, to be honest. It’s been two days. Yesterday, I couldn’t believe that it actually happened. It didn’t feel real at all. But when I woke up this morning, my body ached all over. That’s when I realized that I really gave it my all. I finally started eating again after the performance. I can finally eat now. I couldn’t believe it.

j-hope In The Box (2023)

[crabussy]

I LOVE AND APPRECIATE MY FRIENDS WITH NPD 👊👊👊👊👊👊💥💥💥 OKAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[sawbones-showdown]

and the winner of TUMBLR'S ULTIMATE SAWBONES is...

DOCTOR BARON MARIUS VON RAUM!!!

'twas a rough, tough, final poll, and a long interesting way there, so thank you all, including surprise participants @neitherabaron (!!) and @pepurika (!!!), for coming out to our little bracket!

...when we created this particular torment nexus, we didn't expect to be the ones experiencing torments in it, but with our most precious of blorbos frequently going head to head, we as your local poll-runners certainly did get tormented! thank you also for the torment.

now, while this poll may be over, the fun and/or torment isn't done quite yet! tune in again sometime soon for our next caper, the MARITIME MATCHUPS, wherein we'll determine the finest of fictional naval officers!

[duckindndads]

I’m a Glenn Close hater.

I’ll say it! I’m not afraid to admit it.

And hey, I get it. Glenn close has a very interesting story we don’t often see in other podcasts. He has a more internal growth rather than visible change. He gives up his kid to make sure Nick could grow up with a father instead of being an orphan. He is played in an interesting way in which he never uses actual magic which is so fascinating to see. And sure we all agree he is not a great dad but he was a single person dealing with grief and left to fend for himself and a kid all on his own when he never had a good example of how to be a dad. Yeah. Sure. Whatever. I get it, it’s interesting.

But freakn Christmas music???

[callilemon]

Happy @bookdragonwrites week: day 4!! 📖🐲

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

You're quite literally one of my favorite persons in the entire world! I'm so grateful to have you in my life and call you my friend! 💗Thank you for putting up with my nonsense.

Noé is throwing glitter at you 💜🎊

[bartenerds]

The Worst Generation

[despiashrq]

[sonknuxadow]

who decided shadow the hedgehog is cringey and uncool or whatever hes literally cool as hell. he's the ultimate lifeform. hes half alien. he fell from space and survived. he drives a motorcycle. he has two dads and one of them sucked so bad that he just killed him with no remorse. he looks like this

[its-leethee]

What kind of magic does the Jailer use, and what is her connection to the Key of Aaravos?

I have thought for a while that perhaps the Jailer is neither a primal nor a dark magic user, and that she utilized the Key of Aaravos to serve an important role in his imprisonment. Now, there isn't a lot of overt evidence for my hypothesis here; this is a ramble of pure speculation. I'm going to do my best to present the dialogue and canon-consistent logic to support my thoughts. Here goes:

The prevailing opinion in Xadia is that "human magic" is akin to trickery and sleight of hand. When confronted with Callum's claim of being a primal mage in 5x07, Nyx dismisses his boast reflexively: “I’ve seen ‘human magic.’ Fake ropes, false doors, birds and rabbits stuffed into clothing.” To her, it's common knowledge that humans can't use real primal magic, and her derisive attitude shows she doesn't have much respect for human magic either. As for dark magic, Nyx doesn't even mention it at all; as Lujanne said in 2x01, "we do not call that practice magic. It's an atrocity."

But human magic has one more specialty: creating and solving puzzles. The mechanical devices and riddles guarding the secrets in Kpp'ar's labyrinthine house and the rock-stone puzzle hiding the staircase to Viren's dungeon are story-significant examples of the types of innovations created by human magic. In 1x03, Ezran solves the rock-stone puzzle to reveal the staircase hiding Viren's dungeon. Callum answers the riddle posed by Rex Igneous in 4x08, "having knowledge isn't knowing knowledge…. He has a map!"

So neither a primal mage nor a dark mage would resort to puzzles and riddles, the gimmicks used by magic-less humans. So let's now consider the Jailer.

During the post-season four Discord Q&A, Aaron Ehasz states that the Jailer is a "mastermind of prisons and puzzles."

In episode 5x05, Archmage Akiyu tells the story of how she met the Jailer and introduces her as "a human mage." Akiyu goes on to explain:

"The archdragons had given the Jailer a daunting task, to design a magical prison that could hold a Startouch Elf. She needed my powers to craft the prison itself." (emphasis mine).

It stands to reason that a competent dark mage, with the notoreity to catch the attention of the archdragons, could bring that kind of power into her grasp on her own. So why would the Jailer seek out the powers of primal archmage, unless she couldn't wield that power herself? Furthermore, knowing the prejudice that the archdragons hold against dark magic--all of humanity was driven out of Xadia for refusing to forswear its use--I don't believe the archdragons would ever condone cooperating with a dark mage, even to quell an existential crisis like a demi-god bent on world destruction.

Akiyu tells us one more intriguing thing that the Jailer said:

"'The puzzle is the real prison,' she told me with a proud smile," (again, emphasis mine)

There's another word besides "magic" that we can use to describe the practice of creating and solving puzzles: cryptography; the art and science of creating and breaking codes and ciphers. The terms code and cipher are often used interchangeably, but their meanings are technically different. Basically, a code uses arbitrary substitutions while a cipher uses an algorithm.

Now, if you wish to solve a puzzle, you're going to need all the pieces - and if you wish to solve a cipher or code, you're going to need a key.

More than one use has been hinted at for the Key of Aaravos. We've heard Rayla refer to it several times as a toy and a game piece (1x04, 2x07). In the book two novelization, Callum notices that the Key left marks on the ground that appeared to point toward Xadia (we get a glimpse of those lines in early episode 2x07). In 4x07, we get suspiciously up-close framing of the Key when Callum asks, "is there no primal gem for star magic?"

And a few months back, one of the TDP creators shared on Twitter about a season 6 scene that was eventually cut. In the scene, Callum holds the Key up to a symbol on a wall and says, "I'm gleaming the cube!" (if anyone remembers this twitter convo and can provide me a link to this, I would be so grateful)

This is the Key feature we're all most familiar with: its glow. When exposed to a source of magic, the corresponding primal magic symbol on the Key lights up. This is why I think one of the potential functions of the Key of Aaravos is as a cryptographic key. If it were held up to a magic-infused symbol, the glow effect would reveal the primal magic source - and in this way it could be used to decode a secret message.

In cryptography, a key is the series of words, symbols or phrases that contain all of the basic information you need to decode or understand a specific coded message. Both the sender and receiver of the coded message need to know the key in order to create the coded message or decode it into plaintext - to lock or unlock the meaning behind a cipher or code.

I can't speculate on the exact nature of the secrets that she encrypted with it, but the Key can literally shed light on the solution! It was a toy that was repurposed by a the Jailer, magicless human mage and mastermind of ciphers and codes, to protect the secrets of Aaravos and his prison.

Exactly what secrets it will be used to reveal remains part of the Mystery.

if you're interested in learning more about cryptography, this page has links to a lot of my favorite resources

Recommended reading for more Key of Aaravos and the Jailer theories:

the post that initially enabled my crazy train of thoughts, thank you @beautifulterriblequeen

super rad analysis of the Jailer's unique character design by @kradogsrats, who also authored one of my favorite alternative hypothesis for the real function of the Key of Aaravos

an amazing thorough and detailed Key analysis, by @raayllum and another very interesting conversation about the Key here

Special thanks to @raayllum for answering my random Akiyu and Jailer questions, and to @self-spaghettification for giving me the push I needed to bring this essay together!